Working makes me depressed

Moonrise Lu · Nov 4, 2018

Working has always made me depressed. I've struggled with almost every job due to anxiety of dealing with people. I'm so done with strangers yelling at me for things that aren't my fault or not in my control. It used to be retail people yelling about prices, groceries, not being greeted exactly how they want to be greeted. Now I changed to a medical clinic scheduling/check-in so now I get people yelling at me because they decided to ignore an issue for 5 years and need in right now when we are fully booked, or get berated because the doctor is running behind and I just have to sit there apologizing and kissing their butts.
I go home too depressed to do anything fun or even chores because of the stress of dealing with these horrible people all day. I hate it and it makes me remember why my dream in elementary school was to live in the mountains alone. I know I should be grateful I have a job but I just want to die thinking about having to do this my entire life. It makes me feel like there is no point to living and I can't just get a degree or different job cause there's nothing I am good at.
If any could pray for me that'd be great but also if anyone has been like me advice on how to get through this to a place where every free moment isn't having panic attacks about returning to work the next day?

Southernscotty · Nov 4, 2018

If your dream is to be in the mountains then go.
Pray on it of course first and seek a job there first and then come on and live the wonderful mountain life.
I too live in the woods and hills and I love it.
There are plenty of jobs available around here in the local towns.
I am praying that a blessing befalls you and you get your dream :]

Billy Evmur · Nov 4, 2018

….love people … people yell out of uncertainty mostly … seek to understand why people act as they do.

Solomon Smith · Nov 4, 2018

I would definitely find another job and maybe move to the mountains as well.

MariaJLM · Nov 4, 2018

Yes, working can definitely be a burden for those of us with mental illness. I don't even work because I know I would have a breakdown and start yelling at customers.

ilovejcsog · Nov 4, 2018

I have a perfect job for you. I use LYFT or the other one and the drivers make so much money, name their hours and don't work when they don't want to. They name it. Everyone of them love what they do and the freedom they have. CHECK IT OUT. All you have to do is greet them and smile. Most have not had any bad experiences but they have to maintain a happy countenance. So far I have only had one grump. I do hope you check it out. They will also provide a car if you need one. Before you know it you will be able to afford to go to the mountains

God Bless you.

maintenance man · Nov 4, 2018

Moonrise Lu said:
I hate it and it makes me remember why my dream in elementary school was to live in the mountains alone.

A mundane job living in the mountains will be WAY better than working a mundane job living in the city.

Start looking around at places you'd like to live. Figure out a way to make it happen.

Your location can have a dramatic impact on your overall well being.

Jude1:3Contendforthefaith · Nov 4, 2018

I completely understand OP.

That's why people become monks and focus on God completely and leave the cares of this life.

SarahsKnight · Nov 4, 2018

Moonrise Lu said:
Working has always made me depressed. I've struggled with almost every job due to anxiety of dealing with people. I'm so done with strangers yelling at me for things that aren't my fault or not in my control. It used to be retail people yelling about prices, groceries, not being greeted exactly how they want to be greeted. Now I changed to a medical clinic scheduling/check-in so now I get people yelling at me because they decided to ignore an issue for 5 years and need in right now when we are fully booked, or get berated because the doctor is running behind and I just have to sit there apologizing and kissing their butts.
I go home too depressed to do anything fun or even chores because of the stress of dealing with these horrible people all day. I hate it and it makes me remember why my dream in elementary school was to live in the mountains alone. I know I should be grateful I have a job but I just want to die thinking about having to do this my entire life. It makes me feel like there is no point to living and I can't just get a degree or different job cause there's nothing I am good at.
If any could pray for me that'd be great but also if anyone has been like me advice on how to get through this to a place where every free moment isn't having panic attacks about returning to work the next day?

I can understand you frustration in this, Miss Moonrise. Unfortunately it is really hard out there in many work environments. I know this probably doesn't help much, but, please try to lean on your spouse for comfort on bad days like the ones you describe above and pray that God open another path for you and guide you if He wills.

I like to think He wouldn't just want you to stay where you are just to be miserable. Perhaps lines of work where you have to deal personally with clients, such as in retail, just aren't meant for you. I know it wouldn't be for me.

MariaJLM · Nov 4, 2018

Jude1:3Contendforthefaith said:
I completely understand OP.

That's why people become monks and focus on God completely and leave the cares of this life.

Probably the best for me tbh. I'm so detached from the affairs of the world.

HTacianas · Nov 4, 2018

Moonrise Lu said:
Working has always made me depressed. I've struggled with almost every job due to anxiety of dealing with people. I'm so done with strangers yelling at me for things that aren't my fault or not in my control. It used to be retail people yelling about prices, groceries, not being greeted exactly how they want to be greeted. Now I changed to a medical clinic scheduling/check-in so now I get people yelling at me because they decided to ignore an issue for 5 years and need in right now when we are fully booked, or get berated because the doctor is running behind and I just have to sit there apologizing and kissing their butts.
I go home too depressed to do anything fun or even chores because of the stress of dealing with these horrible people all day. I hate it and it makes me remember why my dream in elementary school was to live in the mountains alone. I know I should be grateful I have a job but I just want to die thinking about having to do this my entire life. It makes me feel like there is no point to living and I can't just get a degree or different job cause there's nothing I am good at.
If any could pray for me that'd be great but also if anyone has been like me advice on how to get through this to a place where every free moment isn't having panic attacks about returning to work the next day?

Believe me I know what you mean. When I first started out I had a job where I dealt with customers on a daily basis. It always seemed that someone would screw something up and leave me to fix it and deal with what we called an "irate customer". In time I learned how to disarm them and things got better. Problem then became that I was so good at it whenever we had an irate customer my boss would call me to deal with them.

The best advice I can give you is to give it time. Learn what works best for angry people and eventually you'll get better at it and it won't seem so bad. You might also want to look online for a customer service training class. There actually only a few complaints people have and they fall into a small number of categories.

Believe me, you're not the first person to have to deal with people.

Lost4words · Nov 5, 2018

Hate my job too. Doesnt help that life sucks too. Depression etc. I undsrstand fully. I hope that you will find happiness. God bless you

Samaritan Woman · Nov 5, 2018

Moonrise Lu said:
I hate it and it makes me remember why my dream in elementary school was to live in the mountains alone. I know I should be grateful I have a job but I just want to die thinking about having to do this my entire life. It makes me feel like there is no point to living and I can't just get a degree or different job cause there's nothing I am good at.

Clearly your jobs are ill fitted to your temperament as the desire to live alone reflects an introverted personality type. No wonder you are depressed - such jobs require interacting with people all day long! To believer there's nothing that you excel at is utter nonsense; you're a person who prefers to work alone and performs best in such a job. Returning either to college or some type of trade school sounds like a wise solution to maximizing your abilities and talents while providing fulfillment and joy. That's what I did - in my mid 30's I graduated from massage school and have found the field a perfect fit. I recommend you take a career test to determine what (type) of job would be the wisest choice; here's one to try -

Career Quiz | The Princeton Review

mama2one · Nov 5, 2018

Moonrise Lu
are you an introvert?

it sounds like you might be since working in direct contact with people wears you out

are there any places like a factory or office work where you could work without direct customer contact?

hope you are able to find a job that better suits you, if you so wish

blessings

Moonrise Lu · Nov 7, 2018

SarahsKnight said:
I can understand you frustration in this, Miss Moonrise. Unfortunately it is really hard out there in many work environments. I know this probably doesn't help much, but, please try to lean on your spouse for comfort on bad days like the ones you describe above and pray that God open another path for you and guide you if He wills. I like to think He wouldn't just want you to stay where you are just to be miserable. Perhaps lines of work where you have to deal personally with clients, such as in retail, just aren't meant for you. I know it wouldn't be for me.

This is a new job and I thought this would be better than what I had before so I feel bad for having prayed this new job and already wanting another :/ My husband definitely helps me but I have been stressing him out with my anxiety lately and I was so down the other day

HTacianas said:
The best advice I can give you is to give it time. Learn what works best for angry people and eventually you'll get better at it and it won't seem so bad.

I have been praying for patience and to do better at work... You are right, I might just not have knowledge in how to deal with angry people here yet. But I feel like even when I do the best I can there's still those people who are ready to yell.

Samaritan Woman said:
Clearly your jobs are ill fitted to your temperament as the desire to live alone reflects an introverted personality type. No wonder you are depressed - such jobs require interacting with people all day long! To believer there's nothing that you excel at is utter nonsense; you're a person who prefers to work alone and performs best in such a job. Returning either to college or some type of trade school sounds like a wise solution to maximizing your abilities and talents while providing fulfillment and joy. ..

Career Quiz | The Princeton Review

Every one of those I take say I need to be in engineering or accounting type of jobs for my personality... I was always horrible at math and science courses so I don't think those are good options. Looking at college always bums me out as well (I dunno why, it just always makes me depressed when I really delve into trying to find a fitting career) I can't really afford it to take classes when I have no idea of a career goal so I haven't gone back (just did a couple classes before.)

christine40 said:
Moonrise Lu
are you an introvert?
it sounds like you might be since working in direct contact with people wears you out
are there any places like a factory or office work where you could work without direct customer contact?
hope you are able to find a job that better suits you, if you so wish
blessings

Very introverted, and have a bit of social anxiety (though I've gotten better with that over the years.) I only looked into a factory type job once but they were only hiring overnight shifts and I don't want that. A lot of them are located in a city that is a far drive from where I live as well and commuting is crazy where I live.

SarahsKnight · Nov 8, 2018

Moonrise Lu said:
I have been praying for patience and to do better at work... You are right, I might just not have knowledge in how to deal with angry people here yet. But I feel like even when I do the best I can there's still those people who are ready to yell.

For what it is worth, I can empathize with that, certainly.

Samaritan Woman · Nov 8, 2018

Moonrise Lu said:
Every one of those I take say I need to be in engineering or accounting type of jobs for my personality... I was always horrible at math and science courses so I don't think those are good options. Looking at college always bums me out as well (I dunno why, it just always makes me depressed when I really delve into trying to find a fitting career) I can't really afford it to take classes when I have no idea of a career goal so I haven't gone back (just did a couple classes before.)

Question - have you always been so depressed and anxious or did start only with these people-centered jobs?

Regarding education, have you ever looked into vocational training that takes only one or two years? If there such schools in your vicinity, maybe look into what programs they offer and explore their related careers. Another option is to find a work-from-home option, and I don't mean some craigslist scam or "home based business" aka MLM scheme. There are books and blogs that provide lots of info regarding such opportunities as I looked into it a few times. If that piques your interest, your local library should have books on the topic as mine does; that way you're not out any money when looking into available home jobs.

Moonrise Lu · Nov 10, 2018

Samaritan Woman said:
Question - have you always been so depressed and anxious or did start only with these people-centered jobs?

Regarding education, have you ever looked into vocational training...

Always been that way really, depressed goes up and down but anxiety always there to a degree.
I looked into trades before (which basically seemed like if you aren't a big buff man you wouldn't do well as it is mostly requires physical) but not specifically vocational.

Samaritan Woman · Nov 11, 2018

Moonrise Lu said:
Always been that way really, depressed goes up and down but anxiety always there to a degree. I looked into trades before (which basically seemed like if you aren't a big buff man you wouldn't do well as it is mostly requires physical) but not specifically vocational.

Speaking from someone who has dealt with chronic, and often major, depression along with severe anxiety (being bipolar with OCD), I can attest to the job disruption that mood problems cause. Depression has a way of sucking the joy out of any job no matter how positive the environment, and chronic anxiety creates inner torment. The two combined together makes life very difficult.

My strong advice to you would be to be see a psychiatrist for an assessment as you may benefit from medication. I'm not trying to shove drugs on you, but there can be biological bases for depression and anxiety that meds work to correct (typically the neurotransmitters, or chemicals in the brain). If a doctor would diagnose you and prescribe appropriate meds, you could experience a great bump in mood and easing of anxiety - it can be a tremendous relief believe me. After such time you would experience more clarity regarding your job and career situation.

If you have general med questions, let me know as I've been dealing with my two illnesses for over twenty years.

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