Hey, so I have a problem. For anyone who has a spouse who works in a church, I could really use some advice.
I’ve been with my boyfriend for 6 years (He’s 25 and I’m 24). I recently started feeling very unsatisfied with the lack of attention, communication and time spent with him while he worked in his childhood church for the past year. He was rehearsing, drumming, leading worship, going to meetings, bible studies, prayer sessions, youth group retreats, fellowship nights/events, etc. With that being said, I found out the hard way how difficult it could be being with someone dedicated/working in the church. I know I don’t understand firsthand about what it takes to be in ministry simply because that is not what God has called me to do. However, this is a path where God is leading my boyfriend so I’m 100% in support of it. I just do not like how busy he get. He tells me that being around other people at his church has made him grow as a Christian. They help support him, talk to him, helped him get through his mother's death, and that fellowship is what God wants us to do with each other. I understand that, but still.
I just wanted some balance between his job and our relationship. When he could see me, he did. I even asked for him to bring me with him to some church events. He has done that a few times. However, there are some limitations. Part of the problem is that he drives and I don’t. On top of that, he doesn’t make too much money. I’m currently working on gettin my license right now but it’s just taking me some time. I know once I start driving, being able to hang out with him and his friends will be easier for the both of us. He doesn't like that I stay almost a half hour from him his house so seeing me can sometimes be a limitation for him because he may not have enough gas to visit me nor enough money to even take me out.
One thing about me is that I love spending time with him and texting him when I can. I try to keep myself distracted with work and talk to the very few friends I have (2 friends) if I couldn’t talk to him. However, there are days where all I want to do is to talk to him but he's just always busy. Not hearing from him nor seeing him made me feel very insecure. It got to the point where I got kind of jealous over the amount of time he spends with people at his church. I felt like he preferred to be with them rather than with me and slowly but surely, I started to become unhappy with our relationship. We have been together for so long and I hate to feel as if I'm losing my boyfriend. His position at his childhood church was over like a month ago because unfortunately they couldn’t hire him full-time. He is now currently looking for another church to work at and things have gotten better since then. I see him more and talk to him more. However, I’m a little bit afraid of the same thing happening again when he officially moves on and gets hired at a another church. We are a Christian couple and I LOVE the fact that he wants to minister to others and serve God in that way but I have a difficult time adjusting to it. I just need some understanding, some advice on how to deal with being with someone who is a minister.
Is anyone dating or married to a partner who is a pastor/minister at a church? Have you had a similar situation? How did you find a balance between church and being with the person you’re married to or dating? What can we do as couple to keep this from happening again? What should I do?
I’ve been with my boyfriend for 6 years (He’s 25 and I’m 24). I recently started feeling very unsatisfied with the lack of attention, communication and time spent with him while he worked in his childhood church for the past year. He was rehearsing, drumming, leading worship, going to meetings, bible studies, prayer sessions, youth group retreats, fellowship nights/events, etc. With that being said, I found out the hard way how difficult it could be being with someone dedicated/working in the church. I know I don’t understand firsthand about what it takes to be in ministry simply because that is not what God has called me to do. However, this is a path where God is leading my boyfriend so I’m 100% in support of it. I just do not like how busy he get. He tells me that being around other people at his church has made him grow as a Christian. They help support him, talk to him, helped him get through his mother's death, and that fellowship is what God wants us to do with each other. I understand that, but still.
I just wanted some balance between his job and our relationship. When he could see me, he did. I even asked for him to bring me with him to some church events. He has done that a few times. However, there are some limitations. Part of the problem is that he drives and I don’t. On top of that, he doesn’t make too much money. I’m currently working on gettin my license right now but it’s just taking me some time. I know once I start driving, being able to hang out with him and his friends will be easier for the both of us. He doesn't like that I stay almost a half hour from him his house so seeing me can sometimes be a limitation for him because he may not have enough gas to visit me nor enough money to even take me out.
One thing about me is that I love spending time with him and texting him when I can. I try to keep myself distracted with work and talk to the very few friends I have (2 friends) if I couldn’t talk to him. However, there are days where all I want to do is to talk to him but he's just always busy. Not hearing from him nor seeing him made me feel very insecure. It got to the point where I got kind of jealous over the amount of time he spends with people at his church. I felt like he preferred to be with them rather than with me and slowly but surely, I started to become unhappy with our relationship. We have been together for so long and I hate to feel as if I'm losing my boyfriend. His position at his childhood church was over like a month ago because unfortunately they couldn’t hire him full-time. He is now currently looking for another church to work at and things have gotten better since then. I see him more and talk to him more. However, I’m a little bit afraid of the same thing happening again when he officially moves on and gets hired at a another church. We are a Christian couple and I LOVE the fact that he wants to minister to others and serve God in that way but I have a difficult time adjusting to it. I just need some understanding, some advice on how to deal with being with someone who is a minister.
Is anyone dating or married to a partner who is a pastor/minister at a church? Have you had a similar situation? How did you find a balance between church and being with the person you’re married to or dating? What can we do as couple to keep this from happening again? What should I do?
