My biggest quandary is this: How does one read the word, learn the word and see clearly the instructions and desires of the Lord for our life and then actively pursue the continual growth in "getting there" while still being surrounded by others who are either not making any progress, not desiring any progression, not bearing any fruit and/or simply do not believe in their "inner circle" of friends? How does one continue to grow in their faith while everyone else around them seems to stay the same? It seems we have "nothing" to talk about because they don't want to grow- or they don't "get" what I am saying as I share revelation's I may have received that day from reading or otherwise- and it leaves me feeling "empty" as if there is no one to talk too and subsequently I have become very "isolated" which as mentioned is very difficult for someone who is so outgoing such as myself.
I am in no way saying I am any better than anyone ( please don't misunderstand) but, I am struggling as this group of friends I have had for years continues to dwindle- and in earnest my only desire is for "more" -- I want more of God, a deeper walk, a more serious walk and one that includes other's who "get that"?
But, my friends say I just need to "love them" the way they are- I need to not be so judgemental, I need to accept it if they drink, party, curse, sleep with people, live with people without being married ( while Christians ) because they say they are learning just like everyone else- but, those patterns never really change so are they really learning? Even my more devout Christian friends are saying I need to just "accept" others more and stop being judgemental, they quote scriptures about Jesus befriending tax collectors, prostitutes and the like as a means to get me to see that I need to just "accept" everything and not let it affect me. And then there are those of course who don't believe in God at all.
They say these things to me ( above ) all the while telling me I am the "only" person in their life that is that "God" person for them-- they love that I listen to them, ( but, they don't want to listen to me) they love that I inspire them, edifying them etc. and that's wonderful that I can help them-I am grateful and maybe I am "missing it" isn't that the point after all- to help others? But, still, I struggle.
I find myself thinking and feeling that I want to be around people who are striving towards "the mark" in their life as I am- those that actually want to grow in their relationship with the Lord that don't want to stay complacent and "lukewarm" if you will - and finally I find myself wondering why that desire within me is so wrong and more importantly why I have to "lose everyone" in order to achieve it?
Okay, that's a whole lot of "questioning" I do realize- but, has anyone experienced this? It saddens my heart as I feel like everything that I have known is being stripped away and while there is a deep desire for me to keep going and keep moving forward trusting God - because we have come so far- I do find myself stepping back from time to time trying to "accept" or "force" myself to become complacent with what everyone is "asking" me to do while attempting to live out my own life but, I always feel like there is "more" for me and if I keep in this same holding pattern I won't ever find out what it is?
Thanks for listening new friends and any wise words of experience in this area would be appreciated- thanks!
Edit: It appears the entire top portion of this thread disappeared- sorry ( I'm new ) and it appears I posted this thread in two different forums- sorry again!