I have a very tiny sample size that I'm judging this on but it seems to me that Christians who wait for marriage before sex are more likely to marry their eventual partner quicker than a couple whos already doing it. Does this sound about right? And if it is true then doesn't this lead to all kinds of issues and wrong intentions for marriage? I think waiting for marriage is a good thing but if you marry someone after a month or year just so you can do the deed then it seems counterproductive to the point of marriage. Perhaps people have experiences themselves or of others who waited a very long time but it doesn't seem likely from what I've seen around me.
I can't think of anyone I knew who got married after a month. I haven't noticed this as a real trend with those who wait until marriage. But I can understand how the desire for 'physical intimacy' might drive a couple to marry sooner to avoid fornication. I just don't know that it is a wide-spread problem.
There is some evidence that marrying a virgin female is lower risk for divorce than marrying a non-virgin. I don't know of any studies that show this for men.
If we are talking about Christians who are devoted enough to the Lord not to engage in fornication like the world around them when so many compromise, people who are marriage-minded, who just might be involved more in church, and who just might not believe in divorce, those are already some good ingredients for a marriage that is more likely to be successful.
Regularly attending church services correlates with lower divorce rates. I think the figure I read was 20%. Just claiming to be 'born again' did not in the surveys I read about. (Lot's of preachers will declare you born again if you just repeat a prayer after them, these days, whether you have faith or not, without bothering to inform you of such details as the fact that Christ rose from the dead.)
Two serious Christians who marry after a whirlwind romance may be more likely to be better off than a secular couple who didn't care who they slept with before they got married, who don't have any specific values when it comes to marriage, who don't subscribe to any Biblical values toward their duties to one another as husband and wife.
In some traditional societies today, and certainly in the past, couples married without really knowing each other first. This can work if values and expectations support the idea that they should marry that way and stay married and if male and female roles in marriage are clearly defined by society.
But I don't know much about couples who meet and get married in a month. If you can really get to know someone enough to know you are a good fit for each other, screen that individual, get buy in from the families involved, and get married in a month... that seems rushed.
I had my first conversation with my wife February 15th one year (the day after Valentines day.) We figured out later that we had been introduced, briefly, before. I proposed in mid July. I met her family and got her father's approval in July or August. We got married in December. We were both virgins. I also spent just about every hour I could with her for about three months of that time, going to church and Bible studies together, taking her out to dinner pretty much every night, etc. I got to know her well and found out about her values.
I was carefully looking for a woman I could spend my wife with, trying to find someone who would not divorce me who was a good match for me. As I got to know her, I became very concerned with making sure I was a good match for her.
Did I rush to marry her just to have sex with her? No. I suppose I'd had a sense of urgency about that for quite a while into my late 20's, but I'd put up with it. After I met her, though, that wasn't really the driving factor. The emotional aspects of the relationship seemed to actually put a damper on that. I felt like my thoughts were cleaner during that period, too, not as big of a struggle as it had been. I'd prayed about that before I met her, and this may have been God's grace in response to that. I really wanted to marry her so we could be together. I knew sex was a part of that and was happy that that was going to happen, too. I also realized i wouldn't have to pick her up and take her home if we got married. Just being together all the time would be really good.
Once I knew I wanted to marry her and had prayed through on the issue, I saw no need to delay and drag out the decision.
