I am glad you see the importance of pattern recognition, but there is also a need to construct a network of related teachings, logically connecting the related teachings.
I am not such how you jump from born again to change mind, a different mindset. Nicodemus was a Pharisee, he is strict with observing the Law, I would say he had the right mindset.
"Change of mind" is an earthly thing, but Jesus was speaking of heavenly things (Jn 3:12). I am sure Nicodemus would understand earthly things that you have mentioned: loving fellow men, giving away an extra coat, serving God. Jesus cannot be explaining something to Nicodemus that Nicodemus already know.
The problem is that the Law was given to showcase the efficacy of being loyal to God.
Every nation had a code that promoted prosperity through fair contract. You worked and you were paid. You stole and you were punished. Cause and effect. Pain resulted in gain. Cutting corners resulted in punishment.
However, Torah was different. Gain came from dependency on God.
You couldnt increase your harvest by planting more or working harder. Harvest was dependent on water and Canaan was unlike Egypt which could control harvest by how much they planted and how much water they drew from the Nile. In the Promised land, harvest depended on loyaty to God who would then case rain to fall.
Deuteronomy 11
10“For the land, into which you are entering to possess it, is not like the land of Egypt from which you came, where you used to sow your seed and water it with your foot like a vegetable garden.
Loyalty to God was following Torah in its essence:
Matthew 22
37And He said to him, “ ‘YOU SHALL LOVE THE LORD YOUR GOD WITH ALL YOUR HEART, AND WITH ALL YOUR SOUL, AND WITH ALL YOUR MIND.’
38“This is the great and foremost commandment.
39“The second is like it, ‘YOU SHALL LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF.’
40“On these two commandments depend the whole Law and the Prophets.”
Every prophet up to John taught the essence of Torah (but was rejected):
Matthew 21
33“Listen to another parable. There was a landowner who PLANTED A VINEYARD AND PUT A WALL AROUND IT AND DUG A WINE PRESS IN IT, AND BUILT A TOWER, and rented it out to vine-growers and went on a journey.
34“When the harvest time approached, he sent his slaves to the vine-growers to receive his produce.
35“The vine-growers took his slaves and beat one, and killed another, and stoned a third.
36“Again he sent another group of slaves larger than the first; and they did the same thing to them.
37“But afterward he sent his son to them, saying, ‘They will respect my son.’
38“But when the vine-growers saw the son, they said among themselves, ‘This is the heir; come, let us kill him and seize his inheritance.’
39“They took him, and threw him out of the vineyard and killed him.
40“Therefore when the owner of the vineyard comes, what will he do to those vine-growers?”
41They said to Him, “He will bring those wretches to a wretched end, and will rent out the vineyard to other vine-growers who will pay him the proceeds at the proper seasons.”
42Jesus said to them, “Did you never read in the Scriptures,
‘THE STONE WHICH THE BUILDERS REJECTED,
THIS BECAME THE CHIEF CORNER stone;
THIS CAME ABOUT FROM THE LORD,
AND IT IS MARVELOUS IN OUR EYES’?
43“Therefore I say to you, the kingdom of God will be taken away from you and given to a people, producing the fruit of it.
44“And he who falls on this stone will be broken to pieces; but on whomever it falls, it will scatter him like dust.”
45When the chief priests and the Pharisees heard His parables, they understood that He was speaking about them.
46When they sought to seize Him, they feared the people, because they considered Him to be a prophet.
You see, the Pharisees examined the law and rationalised everything away:
Mark 7
6And He said to them, “Rightly did Isaiah prophesy of you hypocrites, as it is written:
‘THIS PEOPLE HONORS ME WITH THEIR LIPS,
BUT THEIR HEART IS FAR AWAY FROM ME.
7‘BUT IN VAIN DO THEY WORSHIP ME,
TEACHING AS DOCTRINES THE PRECEPTS OF MEN.’
8“Neglecting the commandment of God, you hold to the tradition of men.”
9He was also saying to them, “You are experts at setting aside the commandment of God in order to keep your tradition.
10“For Moses said, ‘HONOR YOUR FATHER AND YOUR MOTHER’; and, ‘HE WHO SPEAKS EVIL OF FATHER OR MOTHER, IS TO BE PUT TO DEATH’;
11but you say, ‘If a man says to his father or his mother, whatever I have that would help you is Corban (that is to say, given to God),’
12you no longer permit him to do anything for his father or his mother;
13thus invalidating the word of God by your tradition which you have handed down; and you do many things such as that.”
They read the law and said to themselves, “Did God really say those words? How can it be true? Lets be realistic and understand how things really work. The best way to run things is to look after Number One.”
Were all Jews the same?
Romans 11
1I say then, God has not rejected His people, has He? May it never be! For I too am an Israelite, a descendant of Abraham, of the tribe of Benjamin.
2God has not rejected His people whom He foreknew. Or do you not know what the Scripture says in the passage about Elijah, how he pleads with God against Israel?
3“Lord, THEY HAVE KILLED YOUR PROPHETS, THEY HAVE TORN DOWN YOUR ALTARS, AND I ALONE AM LEFT, AND THEY ARE SEEKING MY LIFE.”
4But what is the divine response to him? “I HAVE KEPT for Myself SEVEN THOUSAND MEN WHO HAVE NOT BOWED THE KNEE TO BAAL.”
.......
Romans 9
27Isaiah cries out concerning Israel, “THOUGH THE NUMBER OF THE SONS OF ISRAEL BE LIKE THE SAND OF THE SEA, IT IS THE REMNANT THAT WILL BE SAVED;
28FOR THE LORD WILL EXECUTE HIS WORD ON THE EARTH, THOROUGHLY AND QUICKLY.”
29And just as Isaiah foretold,
“UNLESS THE LORD OF SABAOTH HAD LEFT TO US A POSTERITY,
WE WOULD HAVE BECOME LIKE SODOM, AND WOULD HAVE RESEMBLED GOMORRAH.”
There are two components to be born again: born of water and Spirit. From pattern recognition, water is determined to be a person's spirit (man is dust + spirit). We are born of dust, and born again (another birth) of the spirit. It is the born again spirit that gives everlasting life.
Being born of water is being born of John’s baptism leading to escaping from God’s wrath by accepting the essence of the Law, leading to remaining in the Promised Land, whle others were vomited out into Babylon.
But there remains a rest to be entered, a spiritual Land, which is what being born of the spirit, by being born from Jesus’ baptism enables.