my 25yr hubby has low testosterone

clfs121 · Oct 1, 2013

please help. I have no idea where to to turn.I'm so angry/depressed/lost.

We have been married just over a year. 25 years old. and both waited till marriage to have sex.
My hubby was having a hard time holding an erection and he discovered he has low testosterone.
He has tried the gel, didn't work, gets the shots, but it is hard to with his work and his doctor hardly ever keeps the shot in stock, and he can't go another doctor (insurance issues) i have tried to research supplements online, but he always forgets to take them, and so it isn't consistent. I've always dreamed of when i got married I could finally have sex! I wanted it so bad, dress up sexy, role pay, sex everywhere have fun! now that im married, it's like nothing has changed-no sex. when either he or i initiate it-sometimes he isn't hard at all, gets hard and then isn't...without getting into details, lets just say im never satisfied and end up using other ways to end up having him be satisfied and me with nothing. I feel ugly, and feel like i am being punished for waiting to have sex. I thought this was a gift God gave marriages? then why havent I gotten it with my husband. My husband and I have talked about it, and no matter how much I say its important he just can't take his supplements on a regular basis to see if they work. Some days I feel like I just want to end the relationship, it's like we are good friends/roomates. please help me. I'm so lost!

Audiomechanic · Oct 1, 2013

Look into testosterone "implants." Shots aren't really good because they spike his testosterone and then it drops quickly. The implant is a "pill-like" thing that is injected under the skin in his butt-cheek and slowly dissolves over a period of about 3 months. This is the most expensive option, but it is the best one. The gels are hit/miss and he has to remember to put it on.

The implant he'd only have to get 4 times a year.

clfs121 · Oct 1, 2013

Audiomechanic said:
Look into testosterone "implants." Shots aren't really good because they spike his testosterone and then it drops quickly. The implant is a "pill-like" thing that is injected under the skin in his butt-cheek and slowly dissolves over a period of about 3 months. This is the most expensive option, but it is the best one. The gels are hit/miss and he has to remember to put it on.

The implant he'd only have to get 4 times a year.

is there any side effects?

Purge187 · Oct 1, 2013

Testosterone Implants (Testosterone) Drug / Medicine Information

clfs121 said:
is there any side effects?

Testosterone Implants (Testosterone) Drug / Medicine Information

Rockin Robyn · Oct 4, 2013

(Warning, this is TMI, but I wanted you to know you're not alone) . . . I don't really have any answers for you, but I'm having similar problems. My husband and I both waited until we got married; I was 30 and he was 34 (which felt like FOREVER for both of us). We've been married 1 and 1/2 years and the sex hasn't gotten much better (but it has gotten a little better!) and I've accepted that this is the way he and I are. I said my vows and chose to love him through thick and thin and although it is very difficult, talking about it helps. He lets me vent and I let him vent.

My husband can only get an erection in the mornings after he's rested or on rare occasion, in the afternoon or evening. When he gets it up, he has to go in right away because it doesn't stay up and I'm usually not ready so we have to use a lot of lubricant and go slowly because I'm usually in pain (it helps if I get myself aroused beforehand so I’m ready to go when he’s ready). It sucks for sure, but we make the best of it.

Also, even with the expensive pills to keep him up longer, he has NEVER (not even once) [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse]. He's had an [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse] only a few times (like less than 5), so I feel really bad for him too because he's missing out as well. We're concerned about having children and we've told our close family the basics of our problems, but so far, all the doctors say there is nothing wrong with him (his testosterone is fine, his bladder is fine, etc.), so we can't exactly tell people "we can't have children" because medically speaking, there is nothing wrong and we can have children. But obviously something isn't right. We've thought about sexual counseling, but all we found were some questionable non-Christian counselors an hour away and it's not covered by insurance, so that's a no-go for sure.

So . . . you're not the only one dealing with this. It is definitely hard and I don't have the answers. But I encourage you and your husband to TALK to each other about your frustrations and listen to each other. Also, be sure to PRAY together about it. Whenever one or both of us is really frustrated (even during the attempted act), we will stop and pray about it. Praying is a very intimate thing and intimacy is actually more important than sex. Over time, the sting of the emotional pain is almost gone and our intimacy has improved tremendously.

FishermanDoug · Dec 17, 2013

"Along the bank of the river, on this side and that, will grow all kinds of trees used for food; gtheir leaves will not wither, and their fruit will not fail. They will bear fruit every month, because their water flows from the sanctuary. Their fruit will be for food, and their leaves for hmedicine" - Ezekiel 47:12.

There are natural remedies that DO work all around you. Do some research. I would avoid big pharma drugs like the plague. Check out Earth Clinic - Holistic Health and Alternative Medicine for starters.

Niffer · Feb 10, 2014

FishermanDoug said:
"Along the bank of the river, on this side and that, will grow all kinds of trees used for food; gtheir leaves will not wither, and their fruit will not fail. They will bear fruit every month, because their water flows from the sanctuary. Their fruit will be for food, and their leaves for hmedicine" - Ezekiel 47:12.

There are natural remedies that DO work all around you. Do some research. I would avoid big pharma drugs like the plague. Check out Earth Clinic - Holistic Health and Alternative Medicine for starters.

^ I agree!
We've had to deal with this as well, not to the same extent, but there were definite issues.
Another thing to really consider is weight, how heavy is your hubby? Obesity (and estrogen from fat cells) can GREATLY reduce testosterone production.
As for natural supplements, you can find some really good ones, there have been good results with:

These are all herbs and all totally natural and safe.

This is a really good mix that I had found, and worked quite well to help boost testosterone and improve sexual vitality.

Peace,
~ Niffer

LinkH · Feb 11, 2014

Tongkat ali (goes by several names), an herb from southeast Asia, is supposed to have some research behind it to boost testosterone production. Some body builders buy it. The only thing I've had in it is some coffee packets. I didn't notice anything different, but I think I'm okay in the testosterone department anyway, and the dose in coffee may have been very small.

TillICollapse · Feb 11, 2014

Here is some food for thought, if you like:

I had sexual relationships when I was younger, before I was married, etc. No problems. "Normal" sexual interaction. I got married when I was in my very early 20's to my 1st wife, and we had no issues either. We didn't even have jealousies, or anything like that. We were flirty people, and attracted the opposite sex all the time ... but no jealousy about it with each other. No, "Were you looking at her ?" stuff, none of that. We enjoyed each other, being ourselves, sexual like rabbits, etc. About 2 years into our marriage, we started to explore Christianity, and we dove head first into it, with everything we had. And one of the first things we hit head on, was legalism. And we bought into it with all of our might .... which laws were we supposed to follow, which sins were we guilty of, how did we root out and change ourselves, etc.

Almost immediately ... we started to experience issues. Not sexual issues, but *related* issues. We started to get jealous VERY easily. We started to become obsessed with whether each other was looking at other guys/girls/etc. We started to question each other about thoughts all the time. "Were you thinking about him ? Were you thinking about her ? When you had sex with me, were you thinking about anyone else ?" etc. Stuff that we NEVER experienced before that, we suddenly were experiencing it ALL THE TIME. We became obsessed with "lust", and who was lusting, and who was committing adultery in the heart, and who wasn't. My wife started to feel ugly all the time ... we started to control the way we dressed and looked. It got to the point, where I would literally look down at the ground and ignore all females we walked past. She would tell me about any an every guy she even spoke with and laughed at a joke with. Before legalism ... none of that. "No worries". And we still craved God, and freedom, and seeking the Spirit. Introduce legalism ... and shame, guilt, fear, jealousy, bitterness, anxiety, developing poor self images, feelings of ugliness, unwontedness, etc ... started to take over.

We divorced after about 3 years.

Now, when I look at the before and after ... I see legalism as being a killer. I didn't then, but I do now. Trying to achieve some state via legalistic means began to kill us, and it was like we began to not only fight against "death", but curses as well. It's like a before and after picture. So when you say, "I feel ugly, and feel like i am being punished for waiting to have sex. I thought this was a gift God gave marriages? Then why haven't I gotten it with my husband." ... my initial thoughts go to the law, legalism, etc. Building something on those, in my experience, produces death. Being under the law isn't *like* being under a curse, perhaps it IS being under a curse. I know I was ignorant to it. I was ignorant in what I thought that my legalism was going to build: I thought it would build "dreams come true" in a certain way. But it gave me death, shame, fear, guilt, feelings of ugliness I had not really felt before, etc. Perhaps this can be food for thought for your own situation ...

OGM · Feb 11, 2014

Amazing testimony!!!

FishermanDoug · Mar 8, 2014

TillICollapse said:
Here is some food for thought, if you like:

I had sexual relationships when I was younger, before I was married, etc. No problems. "Normal" sexual interaction. I got married when I was in my very early 20's to my 1st wife, and we had no issues either. We didn't even have jealousies, or anything like that. We were flirty people, and attracted the opposite sex all the time ... but no jealousy about it with each other. No, "Were you looking at her ?" stuff, none of that. We enjoyed each other, being ourselves, sexual like rabbits, etc. About 2 years into our marriage, we started to explore Christianity, and we dove head first into it, with everything we had. And one of the first things we hit head on, was legalism. And we bought into it with all of our might .... which laws were we supposed to follow, which sins were we guilty of, how did we root out and change ourselves, etc.

Almost immediately ... we started to experience issues. Not sexual issues, but *related* issues. We started to get jealous VERY easily. We started to become obsessed with whether each other was looking at other guys/girls/etc. We started to question each other about thoughts all the time. "Were you thinking about him ? Were you thinking about her ? When you had sex with me, were you thinking about anyone else ?" etc. Stuff that we NEVER experienced before that, we suddenly were experiencing it ALL THE TIME. We became obsessed with "lust", and who was lusting, and who was committing adultery in the heart, and who wasn't. My wife started to feel ugly all the time ... we started to control the way we dressed and looked. It got to the point, where I would literally look down at the ground and ignore all females we walked past. She would tell me about any an every guy she even spoke with and laughed at a joke with. Before legalism ... none of that. "No worries". And we still craved God, and freedom, and seeking the Spirit. Introduce legalism ... and shame, guilt, fear, jealousy, bitterness, anxiety, developing poor self images, feelings of ugliness, unwontedness, etc ... started to take over.

We divorced after about 3 years.

Now, when I look at the before and after ... I see legalism as being a killer. I didn't then, but I do now. Trying to achieve some state via legalistic means began to kill us, and it was like we began to not only fight against "death", but curses as well. It's like a before and after picture. So when you say, "I feel ugly, and feel like i am being punished for waiting to have sex. I thought this was a gift God gave marriages? Then why haven't I gotten it with my husband." ... my initial thoughts go to the law, legalism, etc. Building something on those, in my experience, produces death. Being under the law isn't *like* being under a curse, perhaps it IS being under a curse. I know I was ignorant to it. I was ignorant in what I thought that my legalism was going to build: I thought it would build "dreams come true" in a certain way. But it gave me death, shame, fear, guilt, feelings of ugliness I had not really felt before, etc. Perhaps this can be food for thought for your own situation ...

Breaks my heart to hear this knowing that Christ came here to love and forgive and not condemn us. Blessings to you.

127.0.0.1 · Jul 9, 2014

If your hubby has low testosterone, at 25, I would be concerned, maybe he should see a different doctor.

Short of that, maybe he has a hard time in bed because he's never been able to figure out what he likes / doesn't like.

Just a guess.

127.0.0.1 · Jul 9, 2014

TillICollapse said:
Here is some food for thought, if you like:

I had sexual relationships when I was younger, before I was married, etc. No problems. "Normal" sexual interaction. I got married when I was in my very early 20's to my 1st wife, and we had no issues either. We didn't even have jealousies, or anything like that. We were flirty people, and attracted the opposite sex all the time ... but no jealousy about it with each other. No, "Were you looking at her ?" stuff, none of that. We enjoyed each other, being ourselves, sexual like rabbits, etc. About 2 years into our marriage, we started to explore Christianity, and we dove head first into it, with everything we had. And one of the first things we hit head on, was legalism. And we bought into it with all of our might .... which laws were we supposed to follow, which sins were we guilty of, how did we root out and change ourselves, etc.

Almost immediately ... we started to experience issues. Not sexual issues, but *related* issues. We started to get jealous VERY easily. We started to become obsessed with whether each other was looking at other guys/girls/etc. We started to question each other about thoughts all the time. "Were you thinking about him ? Were you thinking about her ? When you had sex with me, were you thinking about anyone else ?" etc. Stuff that we NEVER experienced before that, we suddenly were experiencing it ALL THE TIME. We became obsessed with "lust", and who was lusting, and who was committing adultery in the heart, and who wasn't. My wife started to feel ugly all the time ... we started to control the way we dressed and looked. It got to the point, where I would literally look down at the ground and ignore all females we walked past. She would tell me about any an every guy she even spoke with and laughed at a joke with. Before legalism ... none of that. "No worries". And we still craved God, and freedom, and seeking the Spirit. Introduce legalism ... and shame, guilt, fear, jealousy, bitterness, anxiety, developing poor self images, feelings of ugliness, unwontedness, etc ... started to take over.

We divorced after about 3 years.

Now, when I look at the before and after ... I see legalism as being a killer. I didn't then, but I do now. Trying to achieve some state via legalistic means began to kill us, and it was like we began to not only fight against "death", but curses as well. It's like a before and after picture. So when you say, "I feel ugly, and feel like i am being punished for waiting to have sex. I thought this was a gift God gave marriages? Then why haven't I gotten it with my husband." ... my initial thoughts go to the law, legalism, etc. Building something on those, in my experience, produces death. Being under the law isn't *like* being under a curse, perhaps it IS being under a curse. I know I was ignorant to it. I was ignorant in what I thought that my legalism was going to build: I thought it would build "dreams come true" in a certain way. But it gave me death, shame, fear, guilt, feelings of ugliness I had not really felt before, etc. Perhaps this can be food for thought for your own situation ...

Wow, that's rough. I feel bad for you. Hope things get better for you.

my 25yr hubby has low testosterone

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