Please help me

UkraineGirl11 said:

My boyfriend and I are both active members in church and I've always thought of him as an inspiration because of his faithfulness.

Lately, I've noticed that he's not talking about God even in stressful times. Last Sunday we went to a praise gathering concert at the park and he wasn't at all interested. Infact, the only time he had fun is when he chatted with a friend about some other topic.

It makes me really sad that he's falling away from God but I don't know what to do or how to help him. During the concert I tried to encourage him to enjoy the worship time but he just told me to worry about my own faith and leave him be.​

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I would ask him what is bothering him. Does he blame God for anything? Is he not happy with his life and thinks God abandoned him? Help him know we will all be tested and our Faith will be tested, but tell him not to give up on God for whatever reason. Does he think its just a fake put on in the religion or perhaps he has his own way of serving and worshiping God that he wants to keep between him and God? If his sudden change is because of something he is not happy with, its time to have a talk with him and find out what it is, what is bothering him and why is he so distant. To help him know through the Word of God that God will never give up on us, even when we feel like He did. Jesus is still there with open arms. God Bless.

Dear UkraineGirl11. Just keep bringing him to the Lord, keep praying. It might help to find out if something is bothering him, if he will not tell you, just be loving to him, and trust God to help you and lead you. I say this with love, UkraineGirl. Greetings from Emmy, your sister in Christ.

I would say that praying for him would be THE thing to do right now. Perhaps he is falling away from Christ and needs some time to sort things out. You might only get him more frustrated with God if you push him right now, but if you truly do feel the need to talk to him about this, why not write him a note about your feelings and thoughts. I'm sure he'd appreciate to know that you're there for him, won't pressure him, and that you're concerned about his faith--- when he's ready to talk to you about it, I'm sure he'll come around

Don't put too much pressure on him. It is not unusual for couples to go through changes in their relationship with God that do not match. If someone isn't "on fire" as much as you or as they once were, don't assume that they are falling away from their faith.

It's kind of like a marriage. When you are younger and in the honeymoon period, there is a level of passion that is not sustainable for many years of marriage. Although the outward behaviors of the marriage might change, it doesn't mean that the love for a spouse is going away.

Similarly, some Christians are very passionate and intense about their Christianity... what I called "on fire" above. Some people maintain this state longer than others. One of the dangers of too much fire is that it can flame out. If everyone is pressuring a person to keep this fire, he may become very discouraged and start to believe that God isn't with him anymore if it becomes a challenge.

Your boyfriend may just be "mellowing" a little: finding a sustainable level of worship that he can keep lit for the rest of his life. It is also possible that he is going through a period of doubt or crisis of faith. In either case, I would advise you not to pressure him too much. Offer to listen if he'd like to talk about it. Continue to be a good example, but give him some time to sort it out.

Your boyfriend may just be "mellowing" a little

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I agree. Worship is not just voicing, but living... meditating on His Word, caring for other people. Showing through our whole lives that God is worthy.

Giving each other space is critical, especially in spiritual matters. We can't coerce people to be more spiritual, more happy, better Christians. Each person needs to feel they have ownership of their faith.

There might be small things he disagrees with, maybe even conversations or actions he's seen at the church that you haven't been around... and he might be sorting out how these fit with his belief system.

I can't help but also mention that many women find their partners turn out to be different people than when they were courting. All of us try to appear what we hope the other person wants, some more than others. Not to frighten you... just keep an eye out and encourage him to be honest about himself. Better now than later.

But at first glance, I think this his response is just about not wanting to feel observed or micromanaged... having some time where he can be himself.