Brenda, God is not against you, He loves you dearly. Please don't give up on God for He would never give up on you. Sometimes we go through severe trials to test our faith and what remains is pure.
God never promised us a comfortable life, but He did promise us His peace.
Philippians 4:6 Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.
4:7 And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
4:8 Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things [are] honest, whatsoever things [are] just, whatsoever things [are] pure, whatsoever things [are] lovely, whatsoever things [are] of good report; if [there be] any virtue, and if [there be] any praise, think on these things.
So make your requests known to God in faith and His peace will guard your heart and mind through Jesus.
Submit your heart and life to God through Jesus and you will find He was there all the time.
God bless you Brenda and I too will continue to pray for you.