Ways to deal with being 31 and never having a relationship after improving

[bèlla]

I used to dream of having a farm. Perhaps I still do but no longer with any emotional attachment.

I know the feeling. The spoils are nice but the labor is another matter. You could probably make it work and hire assistance in exchange for food and compensation. Which would align with your beliefs.

I'd be happy to trade places with them so they can experience the full scope of what they're dreaming about!

LOL! It’s a twisted way of expressing their desire to be needed. Which is understandable. But they’ve soiled themselves with demonic teachings and no matter what they believe they’ve gained from that world there’s always residue and the usual result is hardening. Women can fall into a similar trap as well. It isn’t good to keep company with a person who doesn‘t respect the opposite sex because their bitterness rubs off. You want to be around someone who nudges you in the right direction. Encourages you to forgive, pray and so on.

They want the ugly fundamentals of the free market to dominate and it's never good. Dependence, inefficiency, exploitation, and "manufactured need". The most progressive societies on Earth are already trying to move away from these barbaric concepts and they want to turn back the time? I suppose back to the time when they still have more control over women.

Their identity is tied to a woman and that’s the problem. He‘s built his future around the concept and doesn’t understand the principle of the pie in relation to our lives. Nothing comprises the whole. We assign portions to different areas and the variety is important and keeps us balanced.

That’s why pastor’s often say jokingly the marrieds wish they were single because they don’t have same. Their lives are dominated by responsibilities and rarely balanced. They don’t get enough time for themselves, with their spouse, friends etc. Everyone assumes their experience will be different because they never plot the time.

They don’t sit down with pen and paper and map their day from waking until they retire for bed. Work makes up the bulk of the day for most. You have a portion in the morning and evening and the weekend. When you have more demands on your time you have less for yourself and a wife doesn’t change that. She adds to your plate. The only way to free up time is to buy it back and outsource your responsibilities.

We have to be honest with ourselves about our culture. When I was younger we spent summers with my grandparents and my brother went to camp. My parents had a three month break every year and weekends throughout when I visited my aunt. I had a babysitter too that watched me after school. But they were older. They didn’t miss days from work when we were sick because they kept us and fed us too from scratch.

But that isn’t the norm anymore and modern parents don’t get the breaks ours did that’s why they’re overwhelmed because they’re always on. That’s where vision comes in. You have to write a different narrative for yourself and your beloved because the current one is broken. That may require multigenerational housing or pooling resources with your loved ones to purchase some land where everyone can be accommodated and supported. Then the kids don’t have to buy a home and can go outside and play.

Sometimes new problems require old solutions. That’s how we used to live and we weren’t in debt because we shared our resources and worked together. That’s how I live now. When you look at the people who maintain their wealth they’re not buying and selling their primary home every generation. They get what they need and hold it and pass it on the next. I shared the same with my ex and told him to add up the purchase price for his, his parents and sister’s home. When he told me the number I said you spent over a million dollars on a plot and he got it.

~bella

 

[timewerx]

But that isn’t the norm anymore and modern parents don’t get the breaks ours did that’s why they’re overwhelmed because they’re always on. That’s where vision comes in. You have to write a different narrative for yourself and your beloved because the current one is broken. That may require multigenerational housing or pooling resources with your loved ones to purchase some land where everyone can be accommodated and supported. Then the kids don’t have to buy a home and can go outside and play.

That's my plan too but without cooperation, it wouldn't work and it didn't worked for us.

But who knows, this could have been the best option for us even though we ended up in debt. Considering everything, I could have ended up dead with more free time or missed out on other things that could have mattered hugely even if they don't have any real world value. But I also lost the taste for life/living in the process uncertain if I'll ever get it back.

Sometimes new problems require old solutions. That’s how we used to live and we weren’t in debt because we shared our resources and worked together. That’s how I live now. When you look at the people who maintain their wealth they’re not buying and selling their primary home every generation. They get what they need and hold it and pass it on the next. I shared the same with my ex and told him to add up the purchase price for his, his parents and sister’s home. When he told me the number I said you spent over a million dollars on a plot and he got it.

~bella

Might have to do with "gentrification" and how the idea is strongly pushed in all media outlets.

It's ironic that hollywood nowadays often have to shoot their film outside USA like somewhere in Eastern Europe or even Australia even though the story's location is in USA! They can't seem to find older houses, older neighborhoods that didn't looked run down in USA anymore and things are trending towards older things! The numbers are showing one thing but probably because people have limited choices to watch in terms of new content but deep down desiring something else or even hating them but since there's nothing else available.

 

[bèlla]

That's my plan too but without cooperation, it wouldn't work and it didn't worked for us.

What do you have in mind?

But who knows, this could have been the best option for us even though we ended up in debt. Considering everything, I could have ended up dead with more free time or missed out on other things that could have mattered hugely even if they don't have any real world value. But I also lost the taste for life/living in the process uncertain if I'll ever get it back.

I think you will and you’re showing signs in your discussion of Ai and your project. The spark is there.

Might have to do with "gentrification" and how the idea is strongly pushed in all media outlets.

True. But when I was growing up many of the popular dramas featured multi-family homes or properties and they had means. That’s the image we were shown in shows like Dallas, Dynasty, Falcon Crest and more. We saw similar themes in soap operas as well. Perhaps that’s why it took root in me more than my relatives. I was younger and more impressionable. My aunt told me I’m a lot like our relations in the south. Watching me brings back memories of her childhood and their grandmother and aunts who did the same. When it comes to things like that I know what to do. I can’t explain it but the answer is there. Maybe it‘s ancestral.

It's ironic that hollywood nowadays often have to shoot their film outside USA like somewhere in Eastern Europe or even Australia even though the story's location is in USA! They can't seem to find older houses, older neighborhoods that didn't looked run down in USA anymore and things are trending towards older things! The numbers are showing one thing but probably because people have limited choices to watch in terms of new content but deep down desiring something else or even hating them but since there's nothing else available.

But a few years ago they were calling Atlanta the new hollywood and going there in droves. Trump put a tariff on American films produced overseas. But the other side of that is private equity’s entrance in the market with hedge funds which reduced supply and drove up prices. They went overseas to find something cheaper.

And the elephant in the room is migration. They’re so focused on illegals and never considered the other. When there’s a lot of uncertainty and unrest people don’t remain if they can leave. They’re not reporting it openly. Lest they encourage citizens to follow suit but it’s happening. They can go elsewhere with less instability, a lower cost of living and their money goes further. By the time the majority realize what we’re becoming it’ll be too late.

~bella

 

[timewerx]

What do you have in mind?

It was the same as what you wrote earlier but parents had other plans which turned out to be a mistake and me and my sister had to absorb it. No other plan now but to get rid of debt.

I think you will and you’re showing signs in your discussion of Ai and your project. The spark is there.

I conceived the idea in much better times and originating from a childhood ambition but motivation to do it now is much less. Circumstances have changed a lot.

Chatgpt AI strongly recommended that I use the renewable energy project if successful in secret. To leverage one of the many ways a super cheap, fully renewable, and highly scalable energy source can be used as passive income, for example, powering my own server to rent cpu/gpu cycles cheaply. Starting with small, very affordable setup with only several computers and then rapidly expanding/compounding the setup. It requires very little, very affordable capital cost upfront than trying to mass produce the product.

It said that I'll make far more revenue far easier/less risk this way than patenting, mass manufacturing, selling, including any potential profits I might gain from fame even if I managed to run a successful manufacturing company even with big partners. I'll also avoid the many problems and headaches of marketing and maintaining intellectual property of such product. Electricity dominates the cost of such server operations. If I can get electricity very cheaply, I can be quite competitive.

But everything hinges on the success of the project to achieve good profitability with a very small scale, very affordable starter setup and ofc, having a stable job for added security.

True. But when I was growing up many of the popular dramas featured multi-family homes or properties and they had means. That’s the image we were shown in shows like Dallas, Dynasty, Falcon Crest and more. We saw similar themes in soap operas as well. Perhaps that’s why it took root in me more than my relatives. I was younger and more impressionable. My aunt told me I’m a lot like our relations in the south. Watching me brings back memories of her childhood and their grandmother and aunts who did the same. When it comes to things like that I know what to do. I can’t explain it but the answer is there. Maybe it‘s ancestral.

But a few years ago they were calling Atlanta the new hollywood and going there in droves. Trump put a tariff on American films produced overseas. But the other side of that is private equity’s entrance in the market with hedge funds which reduced supply and drove up prices. They went overseas to find something cheaper.

Good for you. I really don't see the point in buying new houses each generation either unless you're paying in cash. I think it's just vanity, keeping up with trends, no matter how foolish. Not a big fan of mortgage unless heavily subsidized by the government like in some countries.

I think the powers that run USA are doing their best to separate people from their money. I suppose to keep lots of money in circulation.

This is the problem if the focus is on money, not on the welfare of everyone. Free market economy does not work in all places and greed produces problems regardless of economic system.

And the elephant in the room is migration. They’re so focused on illegals and never considered the other. When there’s a lot of uncertainty and unrest people don’t remain if they can leave. They’re not reporting it openly. Lest they encourage citizens to follow suit but it’s happening. They can go elsewhere with less instability, a lower cost of living and their money goes further. By the time the majority realize what we’re becoming it’ll be too late.

I think Trump could be doing these things to manipulate market volatility and attempt to profit from it.

 

[bèlla]

It was the same as what you wrote earlier but parents had other plans which turned out to be a mistake and me and my sister had to absorb it. No other plan now but to get rid of debt.

I see a horizon beyond that and trust you know I’m not being facetious. Although the other failed don’t allow that to hinder you from starting again. Write the vision and allow the Lord to build it. Don’t think about money, lack or impediments. Just get it down on paper and pray it back to Him and make adjustments as He directs.

I conceived the idea in much better times and originating from a childhood ambition but motivation to do it now is much less. Circumstances have changed a lot.

A conversation the other day on the site brought tenant farms to mind and a lightbulb went off. I haven’t fleshed it out as of yet. But it’s perfect for charity and only crossed my thoughts because of the discussion. Don’t give too much time to the beginning. The ending matters most and it’s not too late.

Read The Magic of Thinking Big or ask Ai about it in detail. It changed my life and helped me reconcile the results of being ill. I used to lament the things I lost or had to set aside and the time as well. The book allowed me to see it in context and I was never the same.

It said that I'll make far more revenue far easier/less risk this way than patenting, mass manufacturing, selling, including any potential profits I might gain from fame even if I managed to run a successful manufacturing company even with big partners. I'll also avoid the many problems and headaches of marketing and maintaining intellectual property of such product.

That may be true. Look at the crypto founders who are no longer here. It wasn’t just the little guys. The intention was one thing but the result is another because you have to fall in line. There’s other ways to enrich yourself without putting your life at risk. Unless the Lord tells you to take that path and you’re covered I would be cautious.

Electricity dominates the cost of such server operations. If I can get electricity very cheaply, I can be quite competitive.

That’s one of the problems we’re facing here with data centers. The energy demands and water usage is astronomical and beginning to impact customers.

But everything hinges on the success of the project to achieve good profitability with a very small scale, very affordable starter setup and ofc, having a stable job for added security.

Keep discussing it with the Lord and pray back what Ai is saying for more insight.

Good for you. I really don't see the point in buying new houses each generation either unless you're paying in cash. I think it's just vanity, keeping up with trends, no matter how foolish. Not a big fan of mortgage unless heavily subsidized by the government like in some countries.

You can do it with cash or banker style by borrowing against a policy or investments and pay yourself back. I believe in income producing property. Everything must earn its keep and I’m not getting a mortgage. Development is another avenue and some countries will sell properties for less in exchange for commercial enterprises and residences for the area.

I can get behind something like that if you’re building a portfolio and they’re held in a trust as resources for the family and everyone benefits. But spending hundreds of thousands of dollars on something that can’t support itself or you’re unable to expense is insane.

There’s a guy on YouTube I discovered a few months that‘s become my second favorite homesteading channel. He‘s a plumber by trade and moved from Washington to Kentucky to an amish farm. They had a lot to do to bring up to modern standards. But what I love about Zach is his work ethic and attitude. They did everything themselves and learned along the way and the couple is in their twenties. You hear a lot of negative press about young men today but he’s a good example that all isn’t lost. He gave up his business for a slower life with his family. As we frequently discuss it’s all about perspective.

I think the powers that run USA are doing their best to separate people from their money. I suppose to keep lots of money in circulation.

This is the problem if the focus is on money, not on the welfare of everyone. Free market economy does not work in all places and greed produces problems regardless of economic system.

It’s far worse than I assumed. I knew the financial end but hadn’t dug into the governmental plans at the time. When I started looking into policies a clearer picture emerged that‘s increasingly concerning. They’re dismantling everything and eliminating safety nets. But the strangest thing of all is our response or lack of to be frank.

We’re debating politics and immigration as if illegals and the poor are the only ones on the chopping block. We hear about layoffs, job reductions due to Ai and Ivy League graduates who can’t find a job and it’s lala land. It’s strange to see society crumbling around you and watch people behave as if it isn’t occurring.

No one wants to admit that what’s happening to the poor could happen to them. They believe the propaganda and think we’ll turn things around. But if that was so you wouldn’t see people acquiring second citizenships at record rates or immigrating elsewhere. They see the handwriting on the wall but the majority don’t.

Now we’re hearing about a third term for Trump. He had the merch for a while and we know it isn’t constitutional. But people pretended they didn’t see it. Now he’s erecting statues and building a ballroom and answering questions from the media about another term. It’s gotten so crazy you have to laugh and everyday is something new. That’s our reality.

I think Trump could be doing these things to manipulate market volatility and attempt to profit from it.

We know he’s profiting from his presidency and exploiting it too. But the band plays on. All you have to do is look at the images from the meeting he had with the top military officials a few weeks ago with the secretary of defense. They didn’t clap for the president or the other. I listened to a bit but it was too much.

Here’s a funny clip. We suspect these images might have been taken during the “n-word” or when he suggested using dangerous cities as training grounds for the military.

~bella