Would you marry a woman who was a former stripper or X-rated star if she turned into a Christian ?

[timothyu]

My bottom line is that double-digit promiscuity is not the norm,

You are right. It never has been. However the promiscuous see no problem in creating what to them should be the norm. It goes deeper than promiscuity. There is little understanding of responsibility, yet rights are all the trend.

 

[bèlla]

Agreed but the younger have usually dealt with values by simply changing them only to find out as wisdom sets in, what always has been considered the norm may have been so for a reason.

There are many doing otherwise. They’re not influenced by the culture, social media or following their peers. A lot of that is the result of their upbringing and the omission of group think. You don’t wake up with that mindset out of the blue. It’s the result of conditioning and examples.

~bella

 

[Tropical Wilds]

People reared in wholesome environments aren’t looking for someone “who looks good on paper.” They don’t have a litany of bad experiences influencing their choices. Good parents exist with healthy homes and perspectives. Maybe you haven’t met a lot? It has nothing to do with purity. It’s a question of values and ethos.

~bella

So really this is just about them seeking a partnet eho give you an “atta girl!” for being a good parent…? I mean, I guess… If that’s your thing, then rock on. Not sure why you’re attacking me about it, though…? Or would assume I know nothing about good parents and happy, healthy homes?

But you did do fabulously proving my point, though… You check all the boxes you hope your daughters would find in a partner, yet you’re not so Christian or God-fearing as to not insult a stranger or their family on the internet, so…

Meanwhile, my once-divorced, second husband who came with two kids and an absent father into our relationship would be ineligible to date your daughters… Yet he wouldn’t get upset at how a discussion is going and insult somebody’s family or background. We learned on paper you might be supercalifragilisticexpialidocious, but when you feel challenged (even if it’s trivial), you put your ethics to the side, go low and fight dirty. Meanwhile my husband, not good on paper (per you) would never.

Hence the issue with the “good on paper” partner picking method.

 

[bèlla]

My bottom line is that double-digit promiscuity is not the norm, so it shouldn't be surprising that both the average man and the average woman would take a step back from someone who was in the two-digit range.

"Whoa. That's a lot more than me!"

Hook up culture has resulted in significant increases in std’s, sti’s and HIV infections are exploding. You have to think differently now because we have avenues that didn’t exist in the past or weren’t as popular. Like passport bros, ‘hotel parties’, ‘girl trips’ and the usuals like spring break. They’re mating like rabbits without protection and muddying the waters. There’s viral posts on social media if disclosing your status is required and many admit they don’t.

Meeting someone with excessive partners has serious consequences. It’s not a question of faith or judgment. Your health is at risk and we can’t ignore it.

~bella

 

[Tropical Wilds]

The average man of 35-40 is in a small dating pool. According to the CDC, the current median lifetime number of female partners for a heterosexual man (ages 25–49) is 6.3. Aggregate statistics indicate the median lifetime number is less than 7.

Stats for women are changing rapidly, but at the moment the numbers are about the same.

My bottom line is that double-digit promiscuity is not the norm, so it shouldn't be surprising that both the average man and the average woman would take a step back from someone who was in the two-digit range.

"Whoa. That's a lot more than me!"

Well, according to the internet, the average varies between 6 and 11, depending on location, age, and “other factors.”

Personally, I don’t think 10 is a lot, but whatever. YMMV.

 

[lismore]

Well, according to the internet, the average varies between 6 and 11, depending on location, age, and “other factors.”

Personally, I don’t think 10 is a lot, but whatever. YMMV.

In the bible Solomon had seven hundred wives, three hundred concubines and was still looking for a date.

 

[bèlla]

So really this is just about them seeking a partnet eho give you an “atta girl!” for being a good parent…? I mean, I guess… If that’s your thing, then rock on. Not sure why you’re attacking me about it, though…? Or would assume I know nothing about good parents and happy, healthy homes?

Why do you keep assigning something negative to living with morals? I’m not attacking you. I don’t understand your perspective or why desiring a decent partner is bad.

But you did do fabulously proving my point, though… You check all the boxes you hope your daughters would find in a partner, yet you’re not so Christian or God-fearing as to not insult a stranger or their family on the internet, so…

I don’t know your personal circumstances and whomever you chose to pledge yourself to is none of my business.

Meanwhile, my once-divorced, second husband who came with two kids and an absent father into our relationship would be ineligible to date your daughters… Yet he wouldn’t get upset at how a discussion is going and insult somebody’s family or background. We learned on paper you might be supercalifragilisticexpialidocious, but when you feel challenged (even if it’s trivial), you put your ethics to the side, go low and fight dirty. Meanwhile my husband, not good on paper (per you) would never.

Why are you taking it personal? Your husband isn’t part of the discussion nor do I know him personally. You’ve brought him into the conversation. But since you’ve taken that line I’ll respond to you honestly. No, it wouldn’t be acceptable because I would never consider a divorced person for myself or my children. The remainder is moot given the status.

What you neglect to understand in all of this is what I’ve echoed earlier and repeat for your benefit. I make the rules for my household and you do the same for yours. That’s the line. I bear the consequences for those decisions and you do the same. If others disagree that’s their prerogative. But I don’t rule with them in mind.

If he was good enough for you that’s all that matters. Why do you need my approval?

~bella

 

[Tropical Wilds]

Hook up culture has resulted in significant increases in std’s, sti’s and HIV infections are exploding. You have to think differently now because we have avenues that didn’t exist in the past or weren’t as popular. Like passport bros, ‘hotel parties’, ‘girl trips’ and the usuals like spring break. They’re mating like rabbits without protection and muddying the waters. There’s viral posts on social media if disclosing your status is required and many admit they don’t.

Meeting someone with excessive partners has serious consequences. It’s not a question of faith or judgment. Your health is at risk and we can’t ignore it.

~bella

The increase in STIs is down to a single group experiencing a 23% increase… Age 65 and older. STD rates under 30 have gone down, everybody else is flat.

Rising STD Rates a Growing Public Health Concern

STD Rate on the Rise In recent years, there has been an increase in sexually transmitted diseases (STDs), sparking concern among public health officials. Recent reports found a 4.8% increase in STD diagnoses between 2020 and 2023. The only age groups to see a decrease in diagnoses were 18 and...

www.fhcsd.org

A lot of what you’re saying is just alarmist hooey from an older generation that suffered for lack of compressive sex education, growing up on fear-based “don’t do it or else” education.

 

[bèlla]

A lot of what you’re saying is just alarmist hooey from an older generation that suffered for lack of compressive sex education, growing up on fear-based “don’t do it or else” education.

I posted on this subject a few weeks ago in the single’s forum. I’m not going to debate it. I draw from numerous sources to stay well informed and advise the people in my life. You’re welcome to think as you wish.

~bella

 

[bèlla]

10 partners = 10 soul ties.

~bella

 

[RDKirk]

Well, according to the internet, the average varies between 6 and 11, depending on location, age, and “other factors.”

Personally, I don’t think 10 is a lot, but whatever. YMMV.

Everything looks bigger on the Internet.

And, yes, 10 is a lot. What sort of relationships were those? How quickly did they rush into sex? How quickly did they break those relationships?

 

[RDKirk]

The increase in STIs is down to a single group experiencing a 23% increase… Age 65 and older. STD rates under 30 have gone down, everybody else is flat.

I remember when herpes was alarming.

 

[Tropical Wilds]

Why do you keep assigning something negative to living with morals? I’m not attacking you. I don’t understand your perspective or why desiring a decent partner is bad.

I’m not assigning anything negative to it, I’m just not assigning anything to it. Sexual proclivities between consenting adults is morally neutral.

I also don’t think that being a virgin who comes from a stable, two-parent household who will affirm what a great parent I am means that they’re a decent partner. I think they’re a potential partner, but their decency has little, if anything, to do with familial pedigree and sexual history. I also don’t think what makes a long, decent relationship is dictated by the things you mentioned. It’s a difference of opinion based on experience, not something for you to be hysterical about.

I don’t know your personal circumstances and whomever you chose to pledge yourself to is none of my business.

So then why would you presume to make an assumption about me and then attack me for it? You’re saying it’s not your business, but you apparently thought it enough your business to comment on it, which is pretty weird if you think it’s none of your business.

Why are you taking it personal? Your husband isn’t part of the discussion nor do I know him personally. You’ve brought him into the conversation.

I’m not taking it personally…? I’m making it a comparison. I’m pointing out that your pedigree, which I’m sure you’re satisfied with, hid a negative behavioral trait that would have me sitting down with my sons and saying “listen, if that’s how she talks publicly to a stranger who doesn’t agree with her on something trivial, how will she talk privately to you when you disagree with her on something big? Because something big will happen, sooner or later, and how you handle that will define your relationship.”

Meanwhile, my poor pedigree husband (by your standards), he doesn’t do that and, as a result, I found out a lot about him that was quite positive. When we disagree, it’s not a bloodbath, we fight fair and resolve it.

But since you’ve taken that line I’ll respond to you honestly. No, it wouldn’t be acceptable because I would never consider a divorced person for myself or my children. The remainder is moot given the status.

And that’s your preference. Good for you. Though I will say it’s not up to you to consider it for your children, unless it’s an arraigned marriage. If they come home with a divorced person, they come home with a divorced person. There isn’t much you can do on the matter.

What you neglect to understand in all of this is what I’ve echoed earlier and repeat for your benefit. I make the rules for my household and you do the same for yours. That’s the line. I bear the consequences for those decisions and you do the same. If others disagree that’s their prerogative. But I don’t rule with them in mind.

So, if you’ll notice, I never said otherwise. In fact, I said repeatedly that it’s your choice. Why you’re so worked up for it or acting like I issued you a directive to follow I have no idea. All I did was disagree with you… You’re the one who went to the moon and back.

If he was good enough for you that’s all that matters. Why do you need my approval?

~bella

Why on earth do you think I was asking for your approval? What a strange thing to say and a weird conclusion to draw.

 

[Tropical Wilds]

I posted on this subject a few weeks ago in the single’s forum. I’m not going to debate it. I draw from numerous sources to stay well informed and advise the people in my life. You’re welcome to think as you wish.

~bella

I don’t need you to debate it. I am super knowledgeable and well read in the subject from direct-from-the-data sources and I know I’m right. I’m just informing you of either what you don’t know, you overlooked, you don’t want to know, or chose to ignore. If you don’t want to acknowledge it, super-pea-duper. Doesn’t change anything about the facts, but it gives me more insight into how you conduct yourself.

 

[Tropical Wilds]

10 partners = 10 soul ties.

~bella

Now that is religious celibacy culture, lol.

 

[Tropical Wilds]

Everything looks bigger on the Internet.

And, yes, 10 is a lot. What sort of relationships were those? How quickly did they rush into sex? How quickly did they break those relationships?

Again, according to you it’s a lot. So YMMV. Depends on numerous factors.

20, first experience at 18, and 10 partners? Probably worth asking some questions. Seems like they’re not looking for a commitment and if you are, probably barking up the wrong tree.

40, once divorced, sexually active at 16, and 10 partners? Meh. Even assuming they were married for 10 of those years, that’s not even a partner a year. Nothing shocking there.

65, married 45 years, partner died a year ago, sexually active at 19, and 10 partners? Time to ask questions because all signs point to looking for a good time, not a long time, lol.

 

[Tropical Wilds]

I remember when herpes was alarming.

Well, it’s not not alarming, but our understanding of it certainly has evolved.

 

[RDKirk]

Now that is religious celibacy culture, lol.

Are you on a Christians only forum trying to shame Christians for having Christian morality? What do you expect here?

 

[bèlla]

Sexual proclivities between consenting adults is morally neutral.

Your perspective reflects a modernity I find distasteful and opposes christian teachings.

Though I will say it’s not up to you to consider it for your children, unless it’s an arraigned marriage. If they come home with a divorced person, they come home with a divorced person. There isn’t much you can do on the matter.

That isn’t your place to decide. All you can speak for is your children.

There’s enough degenerate ideas in the world without hearing the same in christian circles.

~bella

 

[Tropical Wilds]

Are you on a Christians only forum trying to shame Christians for having Christian morality? What do you expect here?

I’m not shaming her for Christian morality, I’m laughing because literally a handful of posts prior she said she isn’t influenced by or modeling herself on purity culture via religion. She was quite put out about it, but then turned right around and quoted Christian ideology as a reason behind celibacy.

She can believe as she does for religious, secular, or whatever reason she chooses, but I will find it amusing when she scolds me for talking about religious purity culture (which she isn’t a part of she insists), but then goes on and quotes ethos from religious purity culture. The inconsistency is amusing, not the overall belief.