Would you marry a woman who was a former stripper or X-rated star if she turned into a Christian ?

[bèlla]

Not to bash but I have met plenty of christian MEN who did A LOT of things they "shouldn`t do" including sex before marriage, drinking, lying about dating others, go behind back you name it.
It is not that many are holier than those outside.
BUT there is a huge difference if one TRULY IS born again. You CANNOT continue in your ways.

We’ve all met people with questionable behaviors and ethics within christianity. What percentage of the group you’re referencing have you dated or considered for partnership? I built bonds with women who love the Lord, honor their spouse and conduct themselves respectably. Are they perfect? No one is. But that was their standard before they came to faith and it’s a quality I prefer in my alliances.

If you’re born again does it alter your core immediately? Do you stop thinking the same thoughts or doing things you shouldn’t overnight? There’s a lot of things I’ve never done that have no bearing on my faith at all. They are morally repugnant and have no appeal. We sit on different points on the scale. Which is probably why I’ve never focused on whether a person was born again on its own but weighed the whole instead.

~bella

 

[bèlla]

The love from God within and the love you feel inside from God to another is bigger than any judgements or prejudices you have about someone`s past. The only thing you care about is that they are truly born again and their relationship with God. You change, when you are born again

That may be the only thing you care about and you’re welcome to do so. But let’s put that statement to the test in this setting. How many people complain about loneliness and being ignored in christian settings? How many complain of rejection and being misunderstood? How many are overlooked because of differences or disabilities? If what you said was a reflection of the christian experience their confessions would not exist.

~bella

 

[Godcrazy]

Truly, I pers

We’ve all met people with questionable behaviors and ethics within christianity. What percentage of the group you’re referencing have you dated or considered for partnership? I built bonds with women who love the Lord, honor their spouse and conduct themselves respectably. Are they perfect? No one is. But that was their standard before they came to faith and it’s a quality I prefer in my alliances.

If you’re born again does it alter your core immediately? Do you stop thinking the same thoughts or doing things you shouldn’t overnight? There’s a lot of things I’ve never done that have no bearing on my faith at all. They are morally repugnant and have no appeal. We sit on different points on the scale. Which is probably why I’ve never focused on whether a person was born again on its own but weighed the whole instead.

~bella

Truly, personally or people I have met that were born again have been able to continue their previous lives as they were before they were saved.
There have always been a clear difference and a tremendeous difference.
Plus, we have many stories about people testimonies that lived that way that completely changed. And very tearfully told about it and now Jesus is everything to them and they stopped everything. That is born again. you cannot simply compare the previous lifestyle to being in the Lord.
Those men pretend to be good christian men by the way.

 

[Godcrazy]

I have

That may be the only thing you care about and you’re welcome to do so. But let’s put that statement to the test in this setting. How many people complain about loneliness and being ignored in christian settings? How many complain of rejection and being misunderstood? How many are overlooked because of differences or disabilities? If what you said was a reflection of the christian experience their confessions would not exist.

~bella

I have experienced that as well. But I have also experienced christians that were the most loving holy spirit filled on the planet you could imagine.
SO the conclusion is we travel at different speed towards holiness and our relationship with God. Despite what they are doing our focus must be our own relationship with God and to love others like he did.

 

[bèlla]

But that falls under the purity culture thing that I mentioned. The singles forum is aligned to a forum that will attract more people who believe in purity culture than don't.

I have never partook in purity culture and had no exposure to protestants in my youth. We learned these principles and home and weren’t reliant on church for that. We were taught to bring a certain person home and given the reasons why behaviors that contradicted the same were detrimental.

I haven't dated in awhile, but I've got kids of dating age who are actively dating and plenty of single friends and family members. An overwhelming majority don't care. The maybe 10% who do fall under "purity culture" or that thing that rhymes with the processors that are put inside of computers. The things they're looking for are defining characteristics unrelated to sexual history.

My daughter and others like her aren’t seeking the same and their experiences differ from the majority. They’re not sexually active, dating wayward men, or prospects with absent fathers or a weak home structure. They align with people who mirror their values and long-term goals.

I didn't say they're wholly within the mesosphere... I said they pop up in purity culture settings and areas that appeal to a certain type of men, but not the majority.

You keep attaching this to purity culture when many have lived with similar principles with no connection to protestants or teachings along those lines. This used to be the norm for christians.

~bella

 

[bèlla]

Maybe you're right. Sadly I think that today faith is increasingly rarely any sort of motivation.

"When the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on the earth?” (Luke 18:8)

No, he'll find Christians chasing all the other stuff. God Bless.

True. ;-)

Long time no see. I hope you’re well and blessed.

~bella

 

[bèlla]

Plus, we have many stories about people testimonies that lived that way that completely changed. And very tearfully told about it and now Jesus is everything to them and they stopped everything. That is born again. you cannot simply compare the previous lifestyle to being in the Lord.
Those men pretend to be good christian men by the way.

I give little attention to stories. I prefer to see faith in action and observe its unfolding. Testimonies are nice but constancy is harder. Can you keep up the momentum without turning away or trading one faux pas for the next? There’s a distinctive odor that’s present when you’re done with something and there’s no enticement or excuse.

SO the conclusion is we travel at different speed towards holiness and our relationship with God. Despite what they are doing our focus must be our own relationship with God and to love others like he did.

What separates us from the next is the depth of love we have for God and how it impacts our convictions and behavior. Some people spend years around the same mountain because they love the sin and won’t give it up. Others see the consequences or impediments to their spirit and leave it alone.

~bella

 

[Tropical Wilds]

The love from God within and the love you feel inside from God to another is bigger than any judgements or prejudices you have about someone`s past. The only thing you care about is that they are truly born again and their relationship with God. You change, when you are born again

Body count doesn’t bother me. Sex work would, but because I know myself enough to know I would seek out the content they made and it would start an inner spiral on multiple fronts. It’s my failing, not theirs.

 

[RDKirk]

A woman's body count is still a big deal for some guys, but for at least as many, they simply don't care. It's not the deal-breaking crime it has been in generations past, especially when a religion that doesn't emphasize purity culture isn't in play. Granted it's been awhile since I was dating, but even back then the number of people who cared enough to make it a big deal were few and far between. My husband certainly didn't care.

The problem comes up when it's sex work because that denotes a stance on ethics regarding sexual culture for profit which is different with different considerations than simply a body count.

What's happening now is the specter of huge bodycounts.

When I was a young man, virginity was already no longer expected, but neither the average man nor the average woman would have had two-digit bodycounts prior to marriage.

 

[lismore]

If an attractive women that was a former sex-worker becomes a Christian woman would you date her and consider marriage with her ?

I assume you mean by a 'Christian woman' being born again?

"Therefore I say to you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven, for she loved much. But to whom little is forgiven, the same loves little.” (Luke 7:47)

Around thirteen years ago an Asian lady was conversing with me and dropping hints about marriage. Her mother also got involved with several conversations, dropping similar hints. It was a financially affluent, small c conservative family. I was waiting for some kind of spiritual conversation or input from either of them but waited in vain. Although they were church going I don't believe they could hold a spiritual conversation.

The sex-worker you referenced I guess would have a conversion experience, being forgiven she would understand redemption and grace. I think that experience eludes many small c conservative churchgoing middle class cliquey types who may not have had a conversion experience. As the Lord said:

“Truly I tell you, the tax collectors and the prostitutes are entering the kingdom of God ahead of you" (Matthew 21:31).

As for the lady's sins, whoever breaks the law of God in one part breaks the whole thing. So the person who forms an exclusive church clique has broken the law just as surely as someone who commits prostitution. I would prefer the former prostitute who has found redemption than the seemingly respectable person who does not realize how much they need to be redeemed. Until you realize your need to be saved you won't seek the Saviour. That's just my perspective.

God Bless You

 

[timothyu]

Forgiveness is a wonderful thing, yet we are still left with justifying what scripture says about if you sleep with one you've done so with all before, also the adultery thing. Are we like with others, to forgive the person but not the sin? Can a woman or man be forgiven but must remain celibate? They can still marry of course, but that opens further cans of worms. Of course humans, including Christians, will self-justify anything if it suits them.

 

[bèlla]

Forgiveness is a wonderful thing, yet we are still left with justifying what scripture says about if you sleep with one you've done so with all before, also the adultery thing. Are we like with others, to forgive the person but not the sin? Can a woman or man be forgiven but must remain celibate? They can still marry of course, but that opens further cans of worms. Of course humans, including Christians, will self-justify anything if it suits them.

I think honesty is preferable. Whether we like the answers or not. You can’t address a heart condition you refuse to face. I have no qualms acknowledging my unwillingness to consider a former pimp as a spouse nor the difficulty I’d have respecting someone who lived that way. Would I want my son to do the same? Absolutely not. I’d do everything in my power to prevent it. But that’s the extent of my influence.

If someone asked my opinion I’d answer honestly but the choice is theirs. What’s appropriate for us may differ from the next and we must decide what we can live with.

~bella

 

[timothyu]

What’s appropriate for us may differ from the next and we must decide what we can live with.

Yes but as followers of the Father, our will is not allowed, only His. Quite the conundrum, unless we are willing to forgive but at the same time what is allowed would now be restricted, unlike had it not been abused in the first place.

 

[Michie]

This thread reminds me of the book of Hosea.

 

[Tropical Wilds]

I have never partook in purity culture and had no exposure to protestants in my youth. We learned these principles and home and weren’t reliant on church for that. We were taught to bring a certain person home and given the reasons why behaviors that contradicted the same were detrimental.

Purity culture isn’t just religious.

My daughter and others like her aren’t seeking the same and their experiences differ from the majority. They’re not sexually active, dating wayward men, or prospects with absent fathers or a weak home structure. They align with people who mirror their values and long-term goals.

It sounds like they’re seeking a very particular “looks good on paper” partner, which is fine… But you even you admit that they differ from the majority.

You keep attaching this to purity culture when many have lived with similar principles with no connection to protestants or teachings along those lines. This used to be the norm for christians.

~bella

I’m aware, hence my saying “purity culture” and not “religious abstinence.”

 

[Tropical Wilds]

What's happening now is the specter of huge bodycounts.

When I was a young man, virginity was already no longer expected, but neither the average man nor the average woman would have had two-digit bodycounts prior to marriage.

I mean, I think it depends on several factors like age and location and span of time. Somewhere with a small dating pool maybe two-digit would seem like a lot for somebody in their early 20s, but somebody in a large dating pool who’s north of 35? I suspect nobody would care about a double digit number in that scenario.

 

[bèlla]

Yes but as followers of the Father, our will is not allowed, only His. Quite the conundrum, unless we are willing to forgive but at the same time what is allowed would now be restricted, unlike had it not been abused in the first place.

God isn’t going to force anyone to marry a prostitute and the lone exception doesn’t outweigh the numerous unions that occurred by choice. Some sins have a greater impact than others. I knew a guy in this situation a couple years ago. He wasn’t aware of her background but his prospects were nonexistent and he got over it in time. They fell into sin and fornicated and reality came knocking in the guise of spiritual problems.

He messaged me out of the blue and shared his dilemma and tried to leave ‘that detail out’ but he had to come clean and acknowledged his mistake. As you might suspect he was being afflicted by a succubus and didn’t know what to do. We’ve known each other for years and he didn‘t have that problem until he messed with her and it’s fairly common. Certain behaviors attract specific spirits. It goes with the territory. I told him what to do but I made him walk it out so he wouldn’t do it again and he hasn’t.

My reasons are many layered and I understand the spiritual side and don’t leap foolhardy. That’s why it’s good to pray for your suitors and with them. You’ll pick up a lot if you’re astute and see further into their life than most admit. Light agitates darkness and it rarely keeps quiet. You look for pushback, threats and the like.

That may not happen if you rarely pray. You aren’t a threat to satan’s kingdom and your prayers won’t move the needle the way a more disciplined servant’s would.

~bella

 

[bèlla]

It sounds like they’re seeking a very particular “looks good on paper” partner, which is fine… But you even you admit that they differ from the majority.

People reared in wholesome environments aren’t looking for someone “who looks good on paper.” They don’t have a litany of bad experiences influencing their choices. Good parents exist with healthy homes and perspectives. Maybe you haven’t met a lot? It has nothing to do with purity. It’s a question of values and ethos.

~bella

 

[timothyu]

It’s a question of values and ethos.

Agreed but the younger have usually dealt with values by simply changing them only to find out as wisdom sets in, what always has been considered the norm may have been so for a reason.

 

[RDKirk]

I mean, I think it depends on several factors like age and location and span of time. Somewhere with a small dating pool maybe two-digit would seem like a lot for somebody in their early 20s, but somebody in a large dating pool who’s north of 35? I suspect nobody would care about a double digit number in that scenario.

The average man of 35-40 is in a small dating pool. According to the CDC, the current median lifetime number of female partners for a heterosexual man (ages 25–49) is 6.3. Aggregate statistics indicate the median lifetime number is less than 7.

Stats for women are changing rapidly, but at the moment the numbers are about the same.

My bottom line is that double-digit promiscuity is not the norm, so it shouldn't be surprising that both the average man and the average woman would take a step back from someone who was in the two-digit range.

"Whoa. That's a lot more than me!"