Can man and woman be friends ?

[Curiousmind]

Hi,

Just open discussion. Can men and women be friends ? My experience is no. Thing is I observe the following, with my guy friends both do equal effort to keep the friendship alive. I call them to hangout and do stuff and sometimes they call me to hangout.
In my experience as an average guy, With women they never do effort to keep the friendship alive, it is always the men that have to do the effort, is this real friendship ? Not imo.
Maybe the chads have different experience because of their chad powers,

Br,

 

[trophy33]

I would say "very rarely".

Frequently, one of them hopes for or is at least open to something more. If one perceives the other one as attractive, there is always some tension, not like with the same-gender friends.

 

[Curiousmind]

I would say "very rarely".

Frequently, one of them hopes for or is at least open to something more. If one perceives the other one as attractive, there is always some tension, not like with the same-gender friends.

I would like to have female friends to chat about stuff like what I am doing here, but I have none. All the females "friends" of my age group, I know they had a crush on me, after I showed them that I only wanted friendship, they dont do no effort to keep friendship relationship alive.

 

[trophy33]

I would like to have female friends to chat about stuff like what I am doing here, but I have none. All the females "friends" of my age group, I know they had a crush on me, after I showed them that I only wanted friendship, they dont do no effort to keep friendship relationship alive.

Thats biology. The most natural thing. Women do not have time to invest it into men whom they do not see as perspective for having a family.

Such friendship would not last after she will begin dating someone or even marry someone, anyway.

 

[Curiousmind]

Thats biology. The most natural thing. Women do not have time to invest it into men whom they do not see as perspective for having a family.

Such friendship would not last after she will begin dating someone or even marry someone, anyway.

Even if they are single still, they get enough attention from other men, so why would she maintain the friendship right ?

 

[trophy33]

Even if they are single still, they get enough attention from other men, so why would she maintain the friendship right ?

I can imagine such friendship in childhood or in an old age, but very rarely, almost impossibly since puberty till the end of fertility. Maybe for a time, until somebody more important comes into her life.

 

[trophy33]

Just to be clear, I do not mean it as bashing women. As I said, I think its biological, natural and the right thing for them, to prioritize more serious relationships.

Its a good thing not to complicate one's life with inter-gender friendships. And it applies to men, too.

 

[Curiousmind]

Just to be clear, I do not mean it as bashing women. As I said, I think its biological, natural and the right thing for her, to prioritize more serious relationships.

Its a good thing not to complicate one's life with inter-gender friendships.

I posted this on reddit, saying men and women cannot be really friends, because it is always the guys that have to maintain the friendship, the women do no effort, it was flagged as woman hate. But what I stated is true for most average men, dont know about how the chads experience this. Real friendship is when both parties do effort to maintain the friendship like how guys call each other to do stuff let go hunting or fishing ,play soccer, etc

 

[trophy33]

I posted this on reddit, saying men and women cannot be really friends, because it is always the guys that have to maintain the friendship, the women do no effort, it was flagged as woman hate. But what I stated is true for most average men, dont know about how the chads experience this. Real friendship is when both parties do effort to maintain the friendship like how guys call each other to do stuff let go hunting or fishing ,play soccer, etc

I do not see any reason why you or men generally should make the effort for that. Find male friends, if you need friends. I doubt you would prefer your girlfriend or wife to have some weird close male friend in her life.

 

[Curiousmind]

I do not see any reason why you or men generally should make the effort for that. Find male friends, if you need friends. I doubt you would prefer your girlfriend or wife to have some weird close male friend in her life.

But thing is it would be nice to have female friends to talk about stuff and to see things from women perspective. If u only have guy friends sometimes u dont know what is rude to women for example some jokes.

 

[trophy33]

But thing is it would be nice to have female friends to talk about stuff and to see things from women perspective. If u only have guy friends sometimes u dont know what is rude to women for example some jokes.

I do not think female friends are needed for that. You can get female perspective from mother, girlfriend, wife, possibly sister, even from female colleagues or schoolmates. There is also plenty of books or online sources, if you have nothing of that.

You can also get female perspective by just listening or talking to them, for example in church, discussion groups etc, without a need for it to be a close friendship.

 

[Bobber]

Hi,

Just open discussion. Can men and women be friends ? My experience is no. Thing is I observe the following, with my guy friends both do equal effort to keep the friendship alive. I call them to hangout and do stuff and sometimes they call me to hangout.
In my experience as an average guy, With women they never do effort to keep the friendship alive, it is always the men that have to do the effort, is this real friendship ? Not imo.
Maybe the chads have different experience because of their chad powers,

Br,

Yeah but there's a lot more fish in the sea then what you've seen. What are you talking about? 1, 2, 5 or 10? Still a drop in the bucket.

 

[d taylor]

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I have several women friends. Actually one of my best friends i ever had, a women just died.

 

[Curiousmind]

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I have several women friends. Actually one of my best friends i ever had, a women just died.

Well ask urself, are you the one who must do effort to maintain the friendship, do they do any effort ? Real friendship is when both parties do effort.

 

[d taylor]

Well ask urself, are you the one who must do effort to maintain the friendship, do they do any effort ? Real friendship is when both parties do effort.

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Any friendship i have goes both ways. Because i am one who can go a long time without contact with people. As i am a visual artist and that requires time alone to be able to accomplice work.

And actually they are the ones usually contacting me.

But my friend Mary Jane who just died it was very equal and she was married. I was also friends with her husband but much closer to Mary Jane as i had know MJ longer. We were so close i was included in her obituary as a family member.

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[timewerx]

I would say "very rarely".

Frequently, one of them hopes for or is at least open to something more. If one perceives the other one as attractive, there is always some tension, not like with the same-gender friends.

I agree. The only ones I know that are pure friends is a straight woman and a gay or a straight man and a lesbian.

 

[Joseph G]

I must be an exception. I have a friend and Sister in Christ in my inner circle. She and I just hit it off right away, and as the friendship deepened we both told the other that we had no desire to expand into a romantic relationship - which took enormous pressure off.

We live about 2 hours away from each other, but talk or text just about every day. I can't emphasize how precious she is to me. We love to edify each other and gab about all things spiritual. I depend upon her advice and insight in all kinds of things (notice that all throughout the OT "wisdom" is always referred to as "she"). We are prayer warriors together and encourage each other in our ministries. There are also certain benefits from a friendship with a female as I certainly believe they have unique gifts that God just endowed them with! They ARE Daughters of the Living God, after all.

I never thought I could be "mere" friends with a woman, either. Boy, am I glad God got me over that. All I can advise is to pray heavily about anyone that God brings into your life and trust Him to move you into a deeper friendship if that is His will. Don't limit God to ANY possibilities.

God bless!

 

[eleos1954]

Hi,

Just open discussion. Can men and women be friends ? My experience is no. Thing is I observe the following, with my guy friends both do equal effort to keep the friendship alive. I call them to hangout and do stuff and sometimes they call me to hangout.
In my experience as an average guy, With women they never do effort to keep the friendship alive, it is always the men that have to do the effort, is this real friendship ? Not imo.
Maybe the chads have different experience because of their chad powers,

Br,

We are all faulty ... the root cause is selfishness and we all struggle with that.

Real friends—meaning Biblical friends—are not in the relationship for what they can get out of it nor do they abandon or betray friends in bad times. Biblical friends stick with you even when there is no perceived benefit in doing so and even in the midst of adversity.

Friendships are not a male or female thing ... it's a human thing ... really it shouldn't take a lot of effort if the person's heart is in the right place. We all make mistakes .... we should look at the overall character of a person and the consistency of their character ... if the character is more so Christ like it will endure .... if not then it won't endure and this doesn't matter if you are a man or a woman.

Yes men and women can be friends.

 

[Michie]

Hi,

Just open discussion. Can men and women be friends ? My experience is no. Thing is I observe the following, with my guy friends both do equal effort to keep the friendship alive. I call them to hangout and do stuff and sometimes they call me to hangout.
In my experience as an average guy, With women they never do effort to keep the friendship alive, it is always the men that have to do the effort, is this real friendship ? Not imo.
Maybe the chads have different experience because of their chad powers,

Br,

I think men have more issues with it than women do. That’s my experience anyway.

 

[timewerx]

Yes men and women can be friends.

If you count relatives as well, then I'm best friends with my mom and I'm generally closer to my female relatives than males.

I've had a female friend before who is single and non-relative for few years but didn't last. There's expectation of moving beyond friendship and that made things difficult.

It really sucks because it never feels good to lose a friend.