Would you marry a woman who was a former stripper or X-rated star if she turned into a Christian ?

[timothyu]

and make sure she's been walking the walk for a couple years at least...

Meaning celibate?

 

[Divide]

Perhaps. But any mate, male or female may match up without ever knowing what love actually is. What we really seek is a reliable best friend once all the hormones have settled.

It is not good for man to be alone. I will make for him a helper.

And what a helper she was! Everything she touched turned to gold. And she could cook dinner from gravel in the driveway so to speak. I so miss her cooking! Farm girl. She used to darn my socks for me instead of demanding to buy new ones! She'd slip it over a light bulb and sew it right up. She didn't wear makeup either and that left her skin to be so beautiful. She wasnt perfect but she great.

 

[timothyu]

It is not good for man to be alone. I will make for him a helper.

That is the quote the Christian woman used to chastise me for not bowing to her demands for marriage.

 

[Hazelelponi]

Meaning celibate?

Celibate yes, but not celibate only. Living the Christian life.

Attending a good church, working in a morally upright field for her employment, doing various charities or whatever with church outreach...

I'd go so far as to make sure she's well regarded in her church and be certain her friends are from her new life, not her old one.

But yes, living the Christian life in general.

 

[timothyu]

I'd go so far as to make sure she's well regarded in her church and be certain her friends are from her new life, not her old one.

Would she be expected to reveal her old life in church?

 

[Lost4words]

I once nearly married a wallpaper stripper!!!!!!!

Thing is, she had too many hidden layers to her...

 

[QuestionQuest74]

Celibate yes, but not celibate only. Living the Christian life.

Attending a good church, working in a morally upright field for her employment, doing various charities or whatever with church outreach...

I'd go so far as to make sure she's well regarded in her church and be certain her friends are from her new life, not her old one.

But yes, living the Christian life in general.

Unfortunately they can check off all these boxes and still be UnGodly the way they treat men they are in relationships with. Unfortunately you gotta always be on the look out and not be impressed with their works.

 

[Hazelelponi]

Would she be expected to reveal her old life in church?

I don't think that's necessary... But she would have to, to her pastor and any prospective suitors she was serious about considering.

 

[timothyu]

I don't think that's necessary...

Cannot a person change without living a life of prejudice and persecution at the hands of busybodies. There is a saying, What you don't know, can't hurt you. That might apply to new people in your life. That can also mean what others don't know can't hurt you... and increase your chances of escaping a past.

 

[2PhiloVoid]

I'm trying to stay on topic, but this marriage thing is a huge deal in life for a man. (used to be anyway). and there are delicate considerations to be ironed out or else the marriage would probably be doomed to failure. So I dont think they're really tangents.

Obviously, marriage is a huge deal for everyone, and not just for men or even simply for Christian men. It has always been a "big deal" for me. It has also been for my wife.

However, the point of this thread was (and still is): Is it "ok" for a Christian man to marry a Christian woman who has a questionable past?

The answer is generally yes, it's "ok" to do so, but we all know that where relating with another human being is at play and leading toward marriage, there are often emotional and psychological hurdles that may be in need of being addressed. A lot of things may need to be worked through. Fortunately, one doesn't have to have a degree in Social Science, Social Work or Psychology to be prepared to deal with this. An awareness of how not to misread and misapply the Bible may help, though.

 

[Lost Witness]

I don't think that's necessary... But she would have to, to her pastor and any prospective suitors she was serious about considering.

"Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new"

 

[Paidiske]

Can't women be expected to suck it up when they get said no too? What does think when she hears no? Oh no that is offensive to me because everybody should want me.....That's weird.

This is a very strong reaction to being invited (voluntarily; nobody is forcing you to participate in the thread) to consider your own attitudes and motivations. Why lash out at hypothetical women like this?

Side note about having to tell your pastor; if someone in my congregation has a past like this, they don't have to tell me. They might choose to (and some do), but there's no reason they're obliged to.

 

[timothyu]

So where does the adultery of one passed onto another come into play?

 

[ralliann]

Me? I'm already married, and I'm not attracted to women, so that's a no for me.

HUH? This makes no sense.

 

[Sketcher]

For what it's worth - as someone who's brought her own complicated history and trauma into a marriage - I think it's fair enough to say that a history can bring challenges, and to ask yourself if you personally feel well equipped to deal with those challenges. The answer may be no.

I think it's more problematic to frame the question in terms of the worth or value of a prospective partner. There's a vein of contempt that runs through these discussions which is really quite disturbing.

Context I find is quickly forgotten here. Assessing whether or not someone is a good fit for you isn't assessing their worth as a person necessarily. But a bad fit for you is of low worth as a partner to you. It's not a statement of the person's worth as a person or as a Christian or as a member of the fellowship. Worth as a partner is different from those, and worth as a partner to you is going to be determined by you and possibly some other wise people. Hence, you can welcome anyone into the church, but you are not obligated to date every unmarried person of appropriate age in the church who might be interested in you.

 

[Sketcher]

I am telling you this with love: If Jesus is able to not only forgive your mistakes, but welcome you into his ministry to serve him despite your mistakes, then you should try to do the same to others. After all, we are called to follow Jesus and be like him. I am telling you this from the perspective of a woman who thinks sexual shame is heavily placed upon us as a gender, and it shouldn't be. Being a stripper isn't any worse than being a liar, a thief, a smoker or a selfish person

I will welcome anyone into the church. However, I will not date just anyone who is in the church. I have no obligation to. It's one thing to encourage someone in a Bible study or to serve alongside them on a Saturday morning. It's another to date the person, and yet another to be married to the person, with all that entails.

I respect your opinion, but I feel like you're just talking about yourself, what you seek in a partner without taking into consideration the woman's perspective?

I don't know why the woman's perspective needs to be considered any more than my perspective would need to be considered by a woman I would want to date. If I ask her out and she says no because she doesn't like me for whatever reason, did she consider my perspective? Should she have? People like what they like, and they don't like what they don't.

 

[d taylor]

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If she was free grace and a stationary flat earther, those would be more important than her checkered past.

 

[Divide]

However, the point of this thread was (and still is): Is it "ok" for a Christian man to marry a Christian woman who has a questionable past?

It very much can be ok to marry them if they have enough fruit showing to give a man hope.

But is is practical is my question? When people sin it does spiritual damage to them. And it has the effect of pushing them further away from wholesomeness (and God) than another girl who had not experienced those type of things. It affects them. With God's grace and instruction those obsticles can be overcome, but not if her heart isnt in it. Men have to be careful about that because when the honeymoon is over, a contentious home can be a dreadful thing.

The heart is deceitfully wicked and it behooves men to be picky with women.

 

[Divide]

This is a very strong reaction to being invited (voluntarily; nobody is forcing you to participate in the thread) to consider your own attitudes and motivations. Why lash out at hypothetical women like this?

I don't understand why you would feel offense at a discussion about hypothetical women? My motivation was the question. You sound like your mad at me. Why get mad at me because I say it is good to be careful and to treat any potential Marriage seriously? Nothing in my post was directed to you. I don't even know you. This was a hypothetical situation and so a hypothetical girl.

 

[Divide]

Would she be expected to reveal her old life in church?

That's up to her. I wouldn't make her if I had married a SW stripper girl.