Why do christian women only want tall guys?

[DragonFox91]

Hey, I'm a woman, and I'm in the same boat. Well, unless we want to count random "winks" from guys in Indonesia or Guatemala. And I don't. I think there's a bit of a fallacy that "women always get attention easier and more often than men". It's not true. PRETTY women do. Plain women? We're just as invisible. But that's nothing to complain about, really. Do you really want someone shallow, who's only interested in contacting you if you're gorgeous? I don't.

Geek, I definitely understand women have it difficult on dating sites too. But my question: what would you reccomend these women do? I would recommend they try putting themselves out there.

But when I go out to social events, there's a lack of single women. The numbers always heavily skew men. Whether it be meet-up groups, church groups, block parties, etc. Even at work, it seems like whenever they hire a woman, she signs up to work from home. It really does seem like women are just staying in their house, maybe afraid of going places b/c they don't want to get hit on inappropriately, I don't know. So when I hear 'woe is us women too', I think 'I see men who are trying to put in effort, where are the women?'

It reminds me of Two Towers when Treebeard laments the Entwives are gone, lol

 

[LoveDivine]

Geek, I definitely understand women have it difficult on dating sites too. But my question: what would you reccomend these women do? I would recommend they try putting themselves out there.

But when I go out to social events, there's a lack of single women. The numbers always heavily skew men. Whether it be meet-up groups, church groups, block parties, etc. Even at work, it seems like whenever they hire a woman, she signs up to work from home. It really does seem like women are just staying in their house, maybe afraid of going places b/c they don't want to get hit on inappropriately, I don't know. So when I hear 'woe is us women too', I think 'I see men who are trying to put in effort, where are the women?'

It reminds me of Two Towers when Treebears laments the Entwives are gone, lol

I think the pandemic is partially responsible. It definitely changed the way people interact and socialize. I have always been an extrovert, but I definitely became very withdrawn during those years and I definitely lost interest in going out and meeting new people (there were many reasons for that ).I think that this happened to so many people. Even the whole "work from home culture," definitely mushroomed during Covid. Not to get sidetracked here, but there is a labor shortage in most fields right now. Something has definitely shifted in society and it is not surprising given how life altering those years were for many.

As for women having it easier, I beg to differ. That is of course what guys would think, because they typically initiate contact on dating sites. There are tons of creepy and inappropriate guys online on dating sites. It's sad that many of these guys profess to be Christians and then proceed to be very inappropriate. I have encountered my fair share and so have many of the women I have talked to. So while it might be easier for women to get noticed or be asked out, they also have to deal with that. The problems might be different for both genders, but it is silly to think that women have it so much easier. Maybe guys have more obstacles in the early stages of initiating interactions, but I would definitely say that women have to deal with things after that guys don't.

Plus, many of the so called nice guys who complain about not getting dates, behave like huge jerks when they do take a woman out (again, many of my own personal experiences here lol ). I am also quite sure that many women also behave like entitled jerks too. I know stories of women demanding the guy pay for everything and that he take them to fancy places, etc. The point is that dating is difficult for everyone until you meet your match.

 

[DragonFox91]

I think the pandemic is partially responsible. It definitely changed the way people interact and socialize. I have always been an extrovert, but I definitely became very withdrawn during those years and I definitely lost interest in going out and meeting new people (there were many reasons for that ).I think that this happened to so many people. Even the whole "work from home culture," definitely mushroomed during Covid. Not to get sidetracked here, but there is a labor shortage in most fields right now. Something has definitely shifted in society and it is not surprising given how life altering those years were for many.

As for women having it easier, I beg to differ. That is of course what guys would think, because they typically initiate contact on dating sites. There are tons of creepy and inappropriate guys online on dating sites. It's sad that many of these guys profess to be Christians and then proceed to be very inappropriate. I have encountered my fair share and so have many of the women I have talked to. So while it might be easier for women to get noticed or be asked out, they also have to deal with that. The problems might be different for both genders, but it is silly to think that women have it so much easier. Maybe guys have more obstacles in the early stages of initiating interactions, but I would definitely say that women have to deal with things after that guys don't.

Plus, many of the so called nice guys who complain about not getting dates, behave like huge jerks when they do take a woman out (again, many of my own personal experiences here lol ). I am also quite sure that many women also behave like entitled jerks too. I know stories of women demanding the guy pay for everything and that he take them to fancy places, etc. The point is that dating is difficult for everyone until you meet your match.

Just quick response for now: I didn't say women have it easier. I said I agree on dating sites they don't so think if they're struggling there, they need to get out just like men are encouraged to when they are struggling on dating sites. I'll edit post to add more in a bit. My eyes just 1st in line in 2nd paragraph 1st for some reason & just wanted to get a quick response in now.

 

[DragonFox91]

I can't find a clip on YouTube where they discuss the Entwives. Did it not make the movies? I thought it did? I found clip where he sings about them but he doesn't explain why in this clip.

 

[DragonFox91]

I feel like if single women are afraid of being hit on inappropriately at real in-person events, they need to go with someone they feel comfortable with – like either a married couple, a man they friendzoned, etc. This is generally how they think I think, they’re just not doing it.

I think the pandemic is partially responsible. It definitely changed the way people interact and socialize. I have always been an extrovert, but I definitely became very withdrawn during those years and I definitely lost interest in going out and meeting new people (there were many reasons for that ).I think that this happened to so many people. Even the whole "work from home culture," definitely mushroomed during Covid. Not to get sidetracked here, but there is a labor shortage in most fields right now. Something has definitely shifted in society and it is not surprising given how life altering those years were for many.

As for women having it easier, I beg to differ. That is of course what guys would think, because they typically initiate contact on dating sites. There are tons of creepy and inappropriate guys online on dating sites. It's sad that many of these guys profess to be Christians and then proceed to be very inappropriate. I have encountered my fair share and so have many of the women I have talked to. So while it might be easier for women to get noticed or be asked out, they also have to deal with that. The problems might be different for both genders, but it is silly to think that women have it so much easier. Maybe guys have more obstacles in the early stages of initiating interactions, but I would definitely say that women have to deal with things after that guys don't.

Plus, many of the so called nice guys who complain about not getting dates, behave like huge jerks when they do take a woman out (again, many of my own personal experiences here lol ). I am also quite sure that many women also behave like entitled jerks too. I know stories of women demanding the guy pay for everything and that he take them to fancy places, etc. The point is that dating is difficult for everyone until you meet your match.

Yes, the work at home culture put a big hole in proper interaction in general. Not that I was using or relying on that, but it’s just another dead-end. I remember when I saw the shrink / therapist a few years ago, he’s like ‘why don’t you just get to know girls you see during break’, & now it’s like ‘ha ha, nope, not even that simple suggestion is possible now.’ I’m amazed how many people sign up for it. I completely understand if you have kids, even older kids, it’s one less thing to worry about, but there’s no excuse for other people – especially singles who want to date.

Yes, I’m encountering many women who say online dating is just full of creeps, or rather, probably, just men who are being inappropriate. Faithful Christian women especially don’t want that. I like your last sentence in that paragraph…..unfortunately it’s a big problem that turns many women off from dating & getting into relationships in general. It’s a big problem

Definitely dating hard for ALL wanting & looking until you meet your match!

How do men act like jerks when they take a woman out? Is it obvious? Is he aware of it? Is it small stuff that add up? Or big things? Not doing the small things? How would you better sort them out so you don’t run into same circumstances? Tell me, please.

 

[TheLastGeek]

Geek, I definitely understand women have it difficult on dating sites too. But my question: what would you reccomend these women do? I would recommend they try putting themselves out there.

But when I go out to social events, there's a lack of single women. The numbers always heavily skew men. Whether it be meet-up groups, church groups, block parties, etc. Even at work, it seems like whenever they hire a woman, she signs up to work from home. It really does seem like women are just staying in their house, maybe afraid of going places b/c they don't want to get hit on inappropriately, I don't know. So when I hear 'woe is us women too', I think 'I see men who are trying to put in effort, where are the women?'

It reminds me of Two Towers when Treebeard laments the Entwives are gone, lol

"Putting themselves out there" means everything beyond sitting at home alone and never leaving the house or communicating with the outside world. If you have any contact with society or people, you're "out there". And that's most people.

I can't speak for anyone but myself, but "social events" that are designed to hook people up with the opposite sex would make me queasy inside. I'm an introvert. I can tolerate other types of social settings (Ren faires, comic cons, festivals, heck yeah) because they're centered around something that interests me.

I don't think women enjoy working from home because they're trying to avoid getting hit on, lol. Not at all. I think they just enjoy working from home, simple as that.

You and I have had this difference of opinion before, and I don't want to rehash it again. But "putting in effort" - in my opinion - means just living your life, being a productive, active citizen of the world, trying to do some good, and trying to become the best version of yourself, however that looks for you. MOST couples don't meet in bars or on dating apps; they meet while simply living life. They're introduced by friends, they meet at church or at work or in the checkout line at the store. Simple things. Just living life. Honestly, if I see a man trying impress me by like...going to the gym every day and bragging about his bank account or his car, I am immediately, completely turned off. That's not any sort of "effort" that's going to attract me.

Also, extra points to you for the LOTR reference, lol. Such a sad, sad story about the Entwives.

 

[TheLastGeek]

I can't find a clip on YouTube where they discuss the Entwives. Did it not make the movies? I thought it did? I found clip where he sings about them but he doesn't explain why in this clip.

It's in the extended version Just watched it recently!

 

[TheLastGeek]

How do men act like jerks when they take a woman out? Is it obvious? Is he aware of it? Is it small stuff that add up? Or big things? Not doing the small things? How would you better sort them out so you don’t run into same circumstances? Tell me, please.

I'm sure we all have our own stories about this, but here are some examples I've experienced:

A man eating like an absolute pig in a restaurant; literally spilling food all down his front. I wanted to puke.
A man telling me that if I "just wore a bit of makeup", I'd be much more attractive.
A man completely ignoring me for the entire date. Literally didn't look at me or talk to me the whole time. Even walked away from me more than once. Then at the end he had the gall to try to kiss me and ask me out again.
Men who think they're entitled to stick their tongue down your throat or grope you on a first date.

Any instance of being crude, thoughtless, unfeeling, inappropriate, impolite. Most of these are somewhat easily avoided by not going on dates with men you don't know at all. Get to know them a little at first so you get a sense of what kind of person they are. Not fool-proof, but it can weed out a lot.

 

[LoveDivine]

"Putting themselves out there" means everything beyond sitting at home alone and never leaving the house or communicating with the outside world. If you have any contact with society or people, you're "out there". And that's most people.

I can't speak for anyone but myself, but "social events" that are designed to hook people up with the opposite sex would make me queasy inside. I'm an introvert. I can tolerate other types of social settings (Ren faires, comic cons, festivals, heck yeah) because they're centered around something that interests me.

I don't think women enjoy working from home because they're trying to avoid getting hit on, lol. Not at all. I think they just enjoy working from home, simple as that.

You and I have had this difference of opinion before, and I don't want to rehash it again. But "putting in effort" - in my opinion - means just living your life, being a productive, active citizen of the world, trying to do some good, and trying to become the best version of yourself, however that looks for you. MOST couples don't meet in bars or on dating apps; they meet while simply living life. They're introduced by friends, they meet at church or at work or in the checkout line at the store. Simple things. Just living life. Honestly, if I see a man trying impress me by like...going to the gym every day and bragging about his bank account or his car, I am immediately, completely turned off. That's not any sort of "effort" that's going to attract me.

Also, extra points to you for the LOTR reference, lol. Such a sad, sad story about the Entwives.

I would never attend a singles mixer event. Just the thought horrifies me, lol. I hate the idea of something so forced and contrived. I'm not opposed to hanging out with other singles and doing fun things as a group ( and possibly connect with someone), but the idea that the event is to meet someone to date is very unappealing. I've always been an extrovert too, but that would be the worst outing I could fathom. No thanks lol.

 

[LoveDivine]

I feel like if single women are afraid of being hit on inappropriately at real in-person events, they need to go with someone they feel comfortable with – like either a married couple, a man they friendzoned, etc. This is generally how they think I think, they’re just not doing it.

Yes, the work at home culture put a big hole in proper interaction in general. Not that I was using or relying on that, but it’s just another dead-end. I remember when I saw the shrink / therapist a few years ago, he’s like ‘why don’t you just get to know girls you see during break’, & now it’s like ‘ha ha, nope, not even that simple suggestion is possible now.’ I’m amazed how many people sign up for it. I completely understand if you have kids, even older kids, it’s one less thing to worry about, but there’s no excuse for other people – especially singles who want to date.

Yes, I’m encountering many women who say online dating is just full of creeps, or rather, probably, just men who are being inappropriate. Faithful Christian women especially don’t want that. I like your last sentence in that paragraph…..unfortunately it’s a big problem that turns many women off from dating & getting into relationships in general. It’s a big problem

Definitely dating hard for ALL wanting & looking until you meet your match!

How do men act like jerks when they take a woman out? Is it obvious? Is he aware of it? Is it small stuff that add up? Or big things? Not doing the small things? How would you better sort them out so you don’t run into same circumstances? Tell me, please.

Too many stories to share lol. I don't want to list them all since it will start to read like man-bashing. I keep a positive perspective and laugh about the experiences. I will say though that it does make me quite content with being single and staying at home

 

[DragonFox91]

Why hasn't someone posted the explanation about the Entwives clip on YouTube

I'm sure we all have our own stories about this, but here are some examples I've experienced:

A man eating like an absolute pig in a restaurant; literally spilling food all down his front. I wanted to puke.
A man telling me that if I "just wore a bit of makeup", I'd be much more attractive.
A man completely ignoring me for the entire date. Literally didn't look at me or talk to me the whole time. Even walked away from me more than once. Then at the end he had the gall to try to kiss me and ask me out again.
Men who think they're entitled to stick their tongue down your throat or grope you on a first date.

Any instance of being crude, thoughtless, unfeeling, inappropriate, impolite. Most of these are somewhat easily avoided by not going on dates with men you don't know at all. Get to know them a little at first so you get a sense of what kind of person they are. Not fool-proof, but it can weed out a lot.

I want to laugh, but those sound like horror stories. My goodness, those are all bad! You're probably still recovering!

That's where some feelings of 'it's not fair' creep in....

Too many stories to share lol. I don't want to list them all since it will start to read like man-bashing. I keep a positive perspective and laugh about the experiences. I will say though that it does make me quite content with being single and staying at home

Geeks weren't man-bashing. That's just bad interaction people bashing. You're allowed to bash bad interactions people.

 

[TheLastGeek]

I would never attend a singles mixer event. Just the thought horrifies me, lol. I hate the idea of something so forced and contrived. I'm not opposed to hanging out with other singles and doing fun things as a group ( and possibly connect with someone), but the idea that the event is to meet someone to date is very unappealing. I've always been an extrovert too, but that would be the worst outing I could fathom. No thanks lol.

I agree with you 1,000%!

 

[LoveDivine]

Geeks weren't man-bashing. That's just bad interaction people bashing. You're allowed to bash bad interactions people.

Agreed. I think the main thing is selfishness and a sense of entitlement. That is why people behave rudely and can be jerks to each other. It's not about forgetting to open a door for someone or saying the wrong thing. It's about not treating another person with respect. It's really that simple.

 

[TheLastGeek]

Why hasn't someone posted the explanation about the Entwives clip on YouTube

Just for you!

I want to laugh, but those sound like horror stories. My goodness, those are all bad! You're probably still recovering!

That's where some feelings of 'it's not fair' creep in....

You can laugh! These were all long ago. As for recovering, those examples are nothing compared to what I endured when I was married.

Geeks weren't man-bashing. That's just bad interaction people bashing. You're allowed to bash bad interactions people.

Not man-bashing at all. I know, and have known, many wonderful, kind, good, decent men. But I certainly have my share of date horror stories from days of yore, lol.

 

[DragonFox91]

"Putting themselves out there" means everything beyond sitting at home alone and never leaving the house or communicating with the outside world. If you have any contact with society or people, you're "out there". And that's most people.

I can't speak for anyone but myself, but "social events" that are designed to hook people up with the opposite sex would make me queasy inside. I'm an introvert. I can tolerate other types of social settings (Ren faires, comic cons, festivals, heck yeah) because they're centered around something that interests me.

I don't think women enjoy working from home because they're trying to avoid getting hit on, lol. Not at all. I think they just enjoy working from home, simple as that.

You and I have had this difference of opinion before, and I don't want to rehash it again. But "putting in effort" - in my opinion - means just living your life, being a productive, active citizen of the world, trying to do some good, and trying to become the best version of yourself, however that looks for you. MOST couples don't meet in bars or on dating apps; they meet while simply living life. They're introduced by friends, they meet at church or at work or in the checkout line at the store. Simple things. Just living life. Honestly, if I see a man trying impress me by like...going to the gym every day and bragging about his bank account or his car, I am immediately, completely turned off. That's not any sort of "effort" that's going to attract me.

Also, extra points to you for the LOTR reference, lol. Such a sad, sad story about the Entwives.

I'm honestly not sure how most couples meet. Part of my problem I guess.......
It seems like one day someone is single, the next day they have someone. You want to find out how they met, but they're already in the relationship. Asking just seems......the wrong thing to do. It's hard to explain. Like you're being unncessarily nosy & asking questions that are 'off-limits.' Like 'they met somehow, they're in a relationship now, like them how they are now, end of story', try not to be selfish in seeing how you can benefit from their relationship -> that's exactly what it is. Not wanting to come across as desperate & selfish myself.

Geek, as I've been progressing the past few weeks, I realized how poor I do in day-to-day interactions w/ strangers. I'm not talking about like events designed to be social, I mean like at the grocery store or bank & stuff, like running errands. In the past I've always felt like it's a waste of time -> it's someone you're never gonna see again, why bother being friendly to the cashier, or employee who says 'how can I help you' for example? I would think 'it's their job to be friendly, they wouldn't otherwise be acting like to that you if they weren't getting paid for it. In fact, they'd probably be rejecting you for whatever reason.'

Now I'm realizing that's a pretty selfish attitude. Lately when I've been going out in day-to-day life like you talked about above, I've been trying harder, even looking for situations, not because I'm looking to get anything out of it, but because it's the correct thing to do b/c God has shown me that same mercy & love. As an introvert, it was always really hard to do that b/c you don't the point.

I shouldn't say now I know. B/c I've always known this, but now it's like, now I want to commit to it. I don't want it to be a 'do it for 3 weeks & then the motivation dries up' like it is in the past. No, not this time. This time I want to be committed to this. God doesn't tell me 'I've shown mercy & love to him for 3 weeks, now I'm done till I feel like it in a year again.'

I really, really, really want to emphasize that only b/c of what God shows me do I want to do this. This comes really really easy for a LOT of people (probably like all extraverts), but as I said, I just couldn't understand why I should do something because someone said it's the nice thing to do once a long time ago & 51% agreed with him. 'What's the point of going out of my way to be nice to a random stranger I'm gonna see for 30 seconds & then never ever ever see again.'

My point is: yes, I can totally see how it'd just happen in day-to-day life, 'it'll happen when you're not expecting it', when you're looking for opportunities to share God's love & mercy to you for others because that's just what you do, eventually you'll just run into someone who reciprocates that. I'm not convinced this is how it'll happen to me, I think I'm just too unique to randomly meet someone throughout my daily routine & have a hard time understanding how you'd see that person on a consistent basis to build any sort of familiarty, & I'm 90% postiive If I meet a wife, it'll be thru a church function, but I can totally see what you're trying to get at.

(I have a buddy who is CONVINCED he's going to meet a cashier. He's been telling me for YEARS I need to start being more conversation-ish with them, & I've ALWAYS told him 'they probably get hit on by every single man who comes in here, what's the point' - Answer -> it's the right thing to do because you're not looking to hit on her, you're just a good guy in general)

(Knowing how things work, I'll meet the cashier, he'll meet the girl at a church function -> he technically did already but they broke up, so I guess I'm due to meet the cashier. You KNOW that's how it's gonna work considering God's sense of humor ha ha)

Yeah, I'm sure they definitely they like just working from home. Bad! Or the ones that don't chose jobs you can't. Hmmm........

Just for you!

That's the one I found but I don't think that's it. He's just singing the song. Or did I miss it? I want the story behind it.

 

[TheLastGeek]

That's the one I found but I don't think that's it. He's just singing the song. Or did I miss it? I want the story behind it.

Ah, I don't think that scene is anywhere on Youtube, either. A pity!

 

[DragonFox91]

YouTube removed a LOT of videos. When I search something, most of the results have nothing to do with I searched but are just recommendations for previous videos I've watched. Even tho I filter to 5 years back, for example, an item 4 years ago won't be on the results even tho I KNOW the video is on there.

Google searches aren't as good as they used to be either. Google searches used to have all kinds of results for what you searched. Now the results are all uniform, websites that just copy & pasted each other.
I bet the Entwives history scene used to be on there but they took it down

Now, Geek, so you seem convinced you can just meet someone going about your routine just being friendly like my friend thinks. So: how do you expect to consistently run into someone so you both build the repoirtoir (that's what he calls it, IDK how to spell it) to where you'd be going on a date? Again, like my last post, I don't disagree it can't happen, just seems too unlikely or too many variables involved. Wouldn't it seem creepy or almost stalker-ish?

I guess I do know a couple that met just talking at a pool b/c he learned her routine she would go there & sit. She did think it was creepy & stalker-ish at first......but learned to like him. It was at a pool tho so that changes the game a bit

 

[DragonFox91]

Ugh, I shouldn't keep obsessing about this. What can I say? I like it. I guess I'm a romantic. Or would like to be.

 

[timewerx]

I'm sure we all have our own stories about this, but here are some examples I've experienced:

A man eating like an absolute pig in a restaurant; literally spilling food all down his front. I wanted to puke.
A man telling me that if I "just wore a bit of makeup", I'd be much more attractive.
A man completely ignoring me for the entire date. Literally didn't look at me or talk to me the whole time. Even walked away from me more than once. Then at the end he had the gall to try to kiss me and ask me out again.
Men who think they're entitled to stick their tongue down your throat or grope you on a first date.

Any instance of being crude, thoughtless, unfeeling, inappropriate, impolite. Most of these are somewhat easily avoided by not going on dates with men you don't know at all. Get to know them a little at first so you get a sense of what kind of person they are. Not fool-proof, but it can weed out a lot.

My dad used to be a video/photographer and I sometimes assisted for him.

He had rich clients and often saw politicians and celebrities in concerts and parties. I noticed a curious habit of rich men. They love to fart loudly in front of the production and catering crew. People who are probably paid minimum wage.

The rich men just love to be rude in front of the min wage workers. The richer they came, the worse it got. The politicians are the worst at it.

Unfortunately, I acquired the rich men's habit of farting loudly in public. Ironically, I do it in "reverse" that is I fart loudly in front of people who seem rich or well-to-do.

I never did it on dates though, not even by accident. I always go into "stealth" farting mode when on dates. In our small apartment, I always get out of the room to fart.

In the church, we have plenty of rude men. Even many wives who complain of infidelity and their husbands just being evil, even though the whole family attends church!

It's a fact. People are getting colder and more evil these days perhaps from increased material prosperity, especially in countries with high income gaps where the rich are favored and getting tax breaks, etc like in USA.

 

[Citanul]

I don't think women enjoy working from home because they're trying to avoid getting hit on, lol. Not at all. I think they just enjoy working from home, simple as that.

Agreed. There can be a lot of benefits from working from home, and I definitely prefer it, but avoiding being hit on wouldn't to my mind be one of them.

And while I'm not a woman, so have no idea about this, is being hit on at work actually a problem? I though one of the functions of HR was to prevent (or at least minimise) that sort of thing.