Basically I did a premeditated wilful sin in October 2019, tested God by lying to His Holy Spirit and have been suffering its effects ever since. Blasphemous thoughts, hallucinations, not feeling God's presence as I used to, suicide attempts etc.
I recently came across Numbers 15:30 and was then reminded of Hebrews 10:26. They seem to indicate that wilful sin is unforgivable.
Back in October 2019 before doing that wilful sin, I believed all sins were forgivable (OSAS). So yesterday I said out loud or in my mind, I can't remember now, something like "I remember when I still believed that [all sins were forgivable], Jesus died for all my sins that I did prior to believing on Him and all the ignorant sins I did after that but not for my wilful sins [because they are unforgivable]".
Then after that I came across an article which argued that even wilful sins are forgivable and now I think, and hope, that it is true. But did I by saying those things commit the unforgivable sin? Did I reject His sacrifice due to my misinterpretation of scripture? I don't feel as if I did but I don't know how this stuff works.
I'm sorry Jesus.
I recently came across Numbers 15:30 and was then reminded of Hebrews 10:26. They seem to indicate that wilful sin is unforgivable.
Back in October 2019 before doing that wilful sin, I believed all sins were forgivable (OSAS). So yesterday I said out loud or in my mind, I can't remember now, something like "I remember when I still believed that [all sins were forgivable], Jesus died for all my sins that I did prior to believing on Him and all the ignorant sins I did after that but not for my wilful sins [because they are unforgivable]".
Then after that I came across an article which argued that even wilful sins are forgivable and now I think, and hope, that it is true. But did I by saying those things commit the unforgivable sin? Did I reject His sacrifice due to my misinterpretation of scripture? I don't feel as if I did but I don't know how this stuff works.
I'm sorry Jesus.