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I said something bad, it may be over for me

Discussion in 'Obsessive Compulsive Disorder' started by Job405, Oct 16, 2021.

  1. Job405

    Job405 Jesus Christ Matters Supporter

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    Basically I did a premeditated wilful sin in October 2019, tested God by lying to His Holy Spirit and have been suffering its effects ever since. Blasphemous thoughts, hallucinations, not feeling God's presence as I used to, suicide attempts etc.

    I recently came across Numbers 15:30 and was then reminded of Hebrews 10:26. They seem to indicate that wilful sin is unforgivable.

    Back in October 2019 before doing that wilful sin, I believed all sins were forgivable (OSAS). So yesterday I said out loud or in my mind, I can't remember now, something like "I remember when I still believed that [all sins were forgivable], Jesus died for all my sins that I did prior to believing on Him and all the ignorant sins I did after that but not for my wilful sins [because they are unforgivable]".

    Then after that I came across an article which argued that even wilful sins are forgivable and now I think, and hope, that it is true. But did I by saying those things commit the unforgivable sin? Did I reject His sacrifice due to my misinterpretation of scripture? I don't feel as if I did but I don't know how this stuff works.

    I'm sorry Jesus.
     
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  2. Michael Collum

    Michael Collum Everything began with a voice, use yours Supporter

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    Sin is blocking out the perception of the presence of God, blame is part of its foundation.
     
  3. ReesePiece23

    ReesePiece23 The Peanut Buttery Member.

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    I'm not convinced that your 'premeditated' sin was anything MORE than vanity. I'm sorry to tell you this, but you're off the hook. To commit the sin in the first place you'd need to have absolutely zero concept of who (or what) Jesus is, and then proceed to deny His existence with your own eyes.

    Your mind will lie, but your heart can't. You're safe on this one.
     
  4. Mark Quayle

    Mark Quayle Well-Known Member Supporter

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    Like the rest of us, you take sin far less seriously than you should, and take yourself far too seriously. You are a child, to God. If your child throws a fit and screams that he hates you, does that mean he has any idea what he's saying? He's just a child, emotional, impulsive.
     
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  5. royal priest

    royal priest debtor to grace

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    1 Corinthians 11:28
    But a person must examine himself, and in so doing he is to eat of the bread and drink of the cup.

    Paul exhorts the church to understand her place at the table of the Lord's communion table.
    We come to the table as His sinful creatures in need of His restoring grace. This grace is represented in His sacrifice. Jesus sacrificed Himself for the worst of sinners. He calls them to receive His grace by faith and He never rejects those who come for forgiveness and healing.
    We are to come to the table with hope. It is easy to despair when we look at our sins. But the blood of Jesus is like the wine that eases the heavy heart. It cleanses our guilty consciences and encourages us onto the path of repentance. This hymn expresses this truth much better than I ever could:

    1 Here, O my Lord, I see thee face to face;
    here would I touch and handle things unseen,
    here grasp with firmer hand th'eternal grace,
    and all my weariness upon thee lean.

    2 Here would I feed upon the bread of God,
    here drink with thee the royal wine of heav'n;
    here would I lay aside each earthly load,
    here taste afresh the calm of sin forgiv'n.

    3 This is the hour of banquet and of song;
    this is the heav'nly table spread for me:
    here let me feast, and, feasting, still prolong
    the brief, bright hour of fellowship with thee.

    4 I have no help but thine, nor do I need
    another arm save thine to lean upon:
    it is enough, my Lord, enough indeed;
    my strength is in thy might, thy might alone.

    5 Mine is the sin, but thine the righteousness;
    mine is the guilt, but thine the cleansing blood;
    here is my robe, my refuge, and my peace:
    thy blood, thy righteousness, O Lord my God.

    --Horatius Bonar, 1855
     
  6. St_Worm2

    St_Worm2 Simul Justus et Peccator Supporter

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    Hello @Job405, while what you described above is not good, the sin that is unpardonable is VERY specific, and you did not do what was necessary to commit it. Quite frankly, the surest proof that you did not commit it is seen in the fact that you care whether you did or not, because only someone with the blackest of stone-cold hearts would choose to commit the unpardonable sin, and such a person would not be concerned in the least that they had done so.

    So, no worries :)

    As for everything else, this is what the Lord has to say,

    Mark 3
    28 “Truly I say to you, all sins shall be forgiven the sons of men, and whatever blasphemies* they utter.”


    *(except the one, of course, which is a specific blasphemy of the HS that is made by claiming that the works of the Holy Spirit are actually the works of Satan instead ... while being fully cognizant of the fact that it is not true :eek:)
    As far as your sin goes, just follow the instructions in 1 John 1:9, 'trusting' that God will do exactly what He says He will do in that verse (even if it doesn't "feel" like He has at first/in the moment), then get back to growing up in Christlikeness, glorifying God, and enjoying Him (who is our "Abba"/loving Heavenly Father) :amen:

    (BTW, the last sentence in your OP leads me to believe that you have already obeyed 1 John 1:9 :oldthumbsup:)


    God bless you! (Numbers 6:24-26)

    --David
    p.s. - quickly, the sin that is discussed in Hebrews 10:26 is the willful or intentional rejection of Jesus Christ as Savior and Lord. That sin in not necessarily unpardonable (on this side of the grave), but when one does so knowingly, IOW, with a full understanding of who Jesus really is, "there no longer remains a sacrifice for sins" (because the willful rejection of Jesus Christ means that anyone who has done so has knowingly rejected their one/only "Sacrifice"/means of being saved).

    [​IMG]
     
    Last edited: Oct 16, 2021
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  7. MMXX

    MMXX Brian

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    Did you commit adultery and then murder to cover it up?

    Did you participate in Christians being stoned to death?

    King David and Paul the Apostle did - Did God conemn them?

    The unforgivable sin is not believing Jesus is the Christ - because lack of belief results in making salvation impossible.
     
  8. St_Worm2

    St_Worm2 Simul Justus et Peccator Supporter

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    Hello MMXX, I used to believe that as well, but when I took a closer look at the text (see below), I began to realize that it cannot be it (the unpardonable sin, that is), because unbelief in Jesus is a pardonable offense on this side of the grave (whenever someone who rejected Him, at first, turns & chooses to believe in Him instead).

    The "unpardonable sin", on the other hand, is both specific and unique, in that it becomes unforgivable (in ~both~ this life and the next) from the very moment that it is committed (which again, can hardly be said about unbelief in Jesus). As He told us,

    Matthew 12
    31 “Any sin and blasphemy shall be forgiven people, but blasphemy against the Spirit shall not be forgiven.
    32 “Whoever speaks a word against the Son of Man, it shall be forgiven him; but whoever speaks against the Holy Spirit, it shall not be forgiven him, ~either in this age or in the age to come~.”

    Mark 3
    28 “Truly I say to you, all sins shall be forgiven the sons of men, and whatever blasphemies they utter;
    29 but whoever blasphemes against the Holy Spirit ~never~ has forgiveness, but is guilty of an ~eternal~ sin”—
    30 because they were saying, “He has an unclean spirit.”

    God bless you :)

    --David
    p.s. - @Job405, I wanted to say something about what the unpardonable sin is, but I realize that this post amounts to a bit of thread drift, so if you'd prefer that I remove it, just let me know and I will do so happily. Thanks :)
     
    Last edited: Oct 16, 2021
  9. MMXX

    MMXX Brian

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    What's relevant here is @Job405 did not commit it.
     
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  10. pdudgeon

    pdudgeon Traditional Catholic Supporter

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    I think it's fine just as it is, because you have pointed out what IS an unforgivable sin, thus making the difference between forgiveable and unforgivable sin very clear and easy to understand. Thank you for doing that.
     
  11. spiritfilledjm

    spiritfilledjm Well-Known Member Supporter

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    Willful sin is only "unforgivable", for lack of a better term, if one dies in it. Meaning that if one regularly commits adultery and never repents of it or asks forgiveness, they may be like one of the ones that Jesus described in Matthew 7:21-23. Have you asked God to forgive you and repented of the sin? If so, then you are forgiven! Everything else is nothing but the enemy lying to you and tormenting you. I'd ask your church leaders to pray over you regarding this matter and, if they are inclined to believe in this aspect, ask about deliverance.
     
  12. Mark Quayle

    Mark Quayle Well-Known Member Supporter

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    Agreed.

    Further, I don't find it in Scripture that THE sin for which one pays in perdition is unbelief, (although continued unbelief necessarily result in damnation), but that the payment is for all the sins/sin a person commits. One receives according to what their deeds deserve.
     
  13. St_Worm2

    St_Worm2 Simul Justus et Peccator Supporter

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    Hi Mark (@Mark Quayle), I agree, although there are verses that seem to indicate that such could indeed be the case .. e.g. John 3:18.

    God bless you!

    --David

    John 3
    18 He who believes in Him is not judged; he who does not believe has been judged already, because he has not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God.

    .
     
  14. Mark Quayle

    Mark Quayle Well-Known Member Supporter

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    Yep. That's for sure. Many places like that. In fact, it has been argued ad nauseum on this site that many things "condemn a person", though from my POV most seem more like they identify a person as condemned, but, anyway...

    But I meant, 'payment is for', as opposed to 'judged', or even 'condemned'. I also don't mean to imply that lack of belief is not also sin.
     
  15. Mari17

    Mari17 Well-Known Member

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    Do you still feel suicidal?
     
  16. Job405

    Job405 Jesus Christ Matters Supporter

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    Sometimes. What is the point of living if I have lost God? There is no reason to do so, without Jesus.
     
  17. Mari17

    Mari17 Well-Known Member

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    I understand. My OCD has made me feel very much in despair sometimes, too. But there is always hope, there is always a way, and I believe that Jesus in His grace will help you find the way. If you ever feel like harming yourself, please contact a help service or emergency services right away. Do you have a number that you could call, if you felt really in despair?
     
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