Corporal punishment of children, ok or no?

[rturner76]

Is it okay to spank/whoop/slap your child?

Big topic because so many were "punished" as a child and grew up happy and healthy with a good moral compass. Then also many have been traumatized by abuse.

Where exactly is the line between consequences and abuse? Some would say any striking of a child is abuse and some say anything that doesn't leave a mark. Some go so far as just keeping out of the hospital. Of course, it even gets worse.

Where does punishment become abuse and is corporal punishment of any kind ok? If so, which and when?

 

[Sabertooth]

It is the Biblical model, but it isn't the only tool in the parenting kit, and shouldn't be your first.

In our family, it was very ineffective for those who were gifted, autistic or had mental issues, so efficacy is another consideration.

 

[mama2one]

children need guidance/teaching -not punishment

Shepherd's rod "guides" sheep; they don't hit their flock

 

[Nithavela]

Is it okay to spank/whoop/slap your child?

Big topic because so many were "punished" as a child and grew up happy and healthy with a good moral compass. Then also many have been traumatized by abuse.

Where exactly is the line between consequences and abuse? Some would say any striking of a child is abuse and some say anything that doesn't leave a mark. Some go so far as just keeping out of the hospital. Of course, it even gets worse.

Where does punishment become abuse and is corporal punishment of any kind ok? If so, which and when?

I think that words like "spanking" or "whooping" are just euphemisms to hide behind. The fact of the matter is, you're hurting a human being because they don't do as you want them to. So you want to instill fear in them so they change their behaviour.

 

[Jeshu]

Is it okay to spank/whoop/slap your child?

Big topic because so many were "punished" as a child and grew up happy and healthy with a good moral compass. Then also many have been traumatized by abuse.

Where exactly is the line between consequences and abuse? Some would say any striking of a child is abuse and some say anything that doesn't leave a mark. Some go so far as just keeping out of the hospital. Of course, it even gets worse.

Where does punishment become abuse and is corporal punishment of any kind ok? If so, which and when?

When a parent punishes the child in anger and not in love it is very quickly abuse. i know that love knows what the truth says about punishment and applies such skilfully. A child punished in love will not feel grieved with his or her parents half as quick then when a child is punished in anger.

Love will never abuse a child while anger often time does.

 

[Sabertooth]

Where exactly is the line between consequences and abuse? Some would say any striking of a child is abuse and some say anything that doesn't leave a mark. Some go so far as just keeping out of the hospital. Of course, it even gets worse.

Where does punishment become abuse and is corporal punishment of any kind ok? If so, which and when?

Dr. James Dobson is a good one to read on this topic (at least, when dealing with conventional kids).

 

[Nithavela]

Dr. James Dobson is a good one to read on this topic (at least, when dealing with conventional kids).

Isn't that the guy who suggests that children should be beaten until they cry after every misbehaviour?

“Pain is a marvelous purifier…It is not necessary to beat the child into submission; a little bit of pain goes a long way for a young child. However, the spanking should be of sufficient magnitude to cause the child to cry genuinely… Real crying usually lasts two minutes or less, but may continue for five. After that point, the child is merely complaining... I would require him to stop the protest crying, usually by offering him a little more of whatever caused the original tears.” (Dr. James Dobson)

 

[Nithavela]

Dr. James Dobson is a good one to read on this topic (at least, when dealing with conventional kids).

So.. I've read about Dr. Dobson for a bit. I'm deeply offended at you for suggesting to take his advice.

I'm not expecting to change the mind of someone advocating such monstrous advice, but for anyone on the fence, I suggest reading this link:

James Dobson and religiously motivated child abuse

 

[Sabertooth]

@Nithavela, so you have read Dobson?

 

[.Mikha'el.]

Is it okay to spank/whoop/slap your child?

Big topic because so many were "punished" as a child and grew up happy and healthy with a good moral compass. Then also many have been traumatized by abuse.

Where exactly is the line between consequences and abuse? Some would say any striking of a child is abuse and some say anything that doesn't leave a mark. Some go so far as just keeping out of the hospital. Of course, it even gets worse.

Where does punishment become abuse and is corporal punishment of any kind ok? If so, which and when?

How do you define "okay"?

 

[Sabertooth]

I'm deeply offended at you for suggesting to take his advice.

If you were the OP, that might be relevant.

 

[Nithavela]

@Nithavela, so you have read Dobson?

Yes, as long as I could stomach, which was about 30 minutes.

 

[Par5]

Is it okay to spank/whoop/slap your child?

Big topic because so many were "punished" as a child and grew up happy and healthy with a good moral compass. Then also many have been traumatized by abuse.

Where exactly is the line between consequences and abuse? Some would say any striking of a child is abuse and some say anything that doesn't leave a mark. Some go so far as just keeping out of the hospital. Of course, it even gets worse.

Where does punishment become abuse and is corporal punishment of any kind ok? If so, which and when?

We have been down this road not that long ago here on CF, and I will say again what I said then, that hitting a child as a form of discipline is wrong. It is lazy parenting.
Children need to be disciplined, but that should not involve hitting them. Parents need to engage with their children, take time to explain things to them, and lead by example.
My wife and I never hit our children, who are now adults with kids of their own, and all are well-balanced, decent members of society.
If our children needed to be disciplined we would explain why they were being disciplined and most importantly, make sure they understood why they were being disciplined.
Why would you want to inflict pain on someone you love? That makes no sense to me.

 

[Leet]

It's wrong.
My Dad was (is) a Christian man who used to snap, he would scare us, hit us repeatedly with his hands and sometimes his drumsticks which ironically he used on the church drumkit. He's never apologized. I have forgiven him however and we have a pretty good relationship but he was violent at times. Rarely bruises and certainly no black eyes or broken bones but he was wrong.
Hitting on kids is wrong, period.

 

[NomNomPizza]

Is it okay to spank/whoop/slap your child?

Big topic because so many were "punished" as a child and grew up happy and healthy with a good moral compass. Then also many have been traumatized by abuse.

Where exactly is the line between consequences and abuse? Some would say any striking of a child is abuse and some say anything that doesn't leave a mark. Some go so far as just keeping out of the hospital. Of course, it even gets worse.

Where does punishment become abuse and is corporal punishment of any kind ok? If so, which and when?

Prov 13:24: “He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him often

Prov 19:18 Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying.

Seems like spanking is too soft , rod should be used for this purpose. That means spanking is ok if rod is ok too

 

[rturner76]

How do you define "okay"?

I would define ok in this instance as "acceptable."

 

[rturner76]

I had a psychology teacher bring up this topic once and he said he didn't agree with it because there is no real way to standardize how many swats you give for what offense. 3 swats, 5, 10, or until they cry? What if they no longer cry and what if they do it again? Hit harder or more times or use a foreign object? So I was against it but still it says in Proverbs
24 Whoever spares the rod hates their children,
but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them.

 

[keith99]

Prov 13:24: “He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him often

Prov 19:18 Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying.

Seems like spanking is too soft , rod should be used for this purpose. That means spanking is ok if rod is ok too

See post number 3.

 

[grasping the after wind]

If one does not know the difference between a spanking and a beating they definitely should not be allowed to use corporal punishment.

 

[NomNomPizza]

See post number 3.

if the rod is used for guiding why is the child crying it's like you just ignored the 2nd sentence I quoted and pretend it didn't exist so there it is again

Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying.

or this

Proverbs 22:15 - Foolishness [is] bound in the heart of a child; [but] the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.

I wonder how people twist Scriptures in these proverbs which most of these proverbs apply literally for what they say

It obviously means to use rod to beat the foolishnes the child did , not that u give a piece of stick to child and he/she somehow become wise because now he /she has piece of wood lol