I've recently come to a recent relevation that I don't that I'm saved. I want to have a relationship with God, and I want to read the bible more. But I don't that I am currently saved and that I am going to hell. I prayed the coming to faith prayer, but I don't believe that it worked. Since then I've been living in complete disobedience to God by watching inappropriate content, and I feel like I've acted like a complete moron. I want to have a better relationship with God, and started to read the bible, but I just feel guilty when I read it, and I just feel total doom, waking up in the middle of the night in just total panic. I want to have a relationship with God, but I don't know whether it's possible?
There is a tragic amount of bad theology out there that would have Christians believe that "getting saved" is about some super special intimate experience with God, and that it means our lives are going to get better through some kind of moral progress.
So you find yourself failing and sinning, but of course this is completely normal, because you're a sinner. Just like I'm a sinner. Just like everyone is a sinner.
If our salvation depended on us living righteously in accordance with God's commandments then it would mean that nobody is saved, that nobody ever has been saved, and that nobody ever can be saved.
I placed that last statement in bold, because I really want you to read it and process that.
And I'm going to say something that possibly might ruffle some feathers:
It's not about you having a relationship with God.
But before anyone jumps on me, allow myself to explain.
God is not sitting somewhere in a room waiting for us to navigate the long hallway, finding all the right keys and which keys fit with the right doors so that we can eventually unlock all the obstacles and make our way to God. That's not it at all.
God isn't sitting in a room waiting for us to come to Him.
God comes to us.
God comes down and meets us right here in the thick and ugly of our sin and disobedience. God comes right down here where we are, in all of our horrific wretchedness, and then says, "You belong to Me".
God does not find something lovely and acceptable to Himself
God goes out of His way to find that which is unlovely and make it acceptable.
He sent Jesus Christ, born of the Virgin Mary, suffered under Pontius Pilate, was crucified, dead, and buried, risen on the third day.
God comes down. God always comes down.
God came down in the Incarnation, God became man, God suffered and died for you. Jesus Christ died for you.
Don't take that lightly and then think "Yes Jesus died for me, but Jesus died for everyone". Jesus died
for you. Yes Christ died for everyone, but for each and every specific individual, for them as individuals. Each and every person. That means Jesus died
for you.
Do you think He who bore the weight of Calvary's cross does not know you? He knows you, He knows you better than you do. He knows your thoughts, He knows your struggles, He knows your afflictions. He knows you, from the day you breathed your first cry out of the womb, to the day you take your last breath. He knows you.
That cross is where you died with Him.
That cross is where your sins died too.
Do you believe this? Believe it! Trust it! This is the Gospel.
He is Jesus Christ the Lamb of God who takes away the sins of the world. That means you.
-CryptoLutheran