What's on your mind?

[MehGuy]

That one IT job I applied a month ago.. out of the blue contacts me again.. maybe the other applicants were just so horrible.. they were like.. oh give MehGuy a shot.. lol.

 

[bèlla]

.

 

[sampa]

When I rekindled my interest my friends were involved

I've never had much luck with friends over the years. They have the best intentions but the guys usually end up being hurt because they are more interested in me that I am them.

I’ve had men pursue me for years. Men who’ve laid out their resources

That's a good position to be in. I've definitely had my share of guys that pursued me but any of the ones that I was attracted to have not been of good character, unfortunately. But at the same time within this last month I have discovered some things about myself that hopefully will help me going forward understanding why I may have had the attractions that I did.

I almost think that my friend that I'm helping out has too much of an ideal and he may be looking for someone who almost looks like a model. He has kept friendships with most of the women that he has dated for some time.

 

[bèlla]

.

 

[sampa]

They know my type. If they recommend someone he fits the bill

You are indeed blessed.

He needs 7 figures to snag her.

Yep, that's exactly what his friends told me after he returned from his dates with me. Not seven figures, but he said that he can't shake the idea of having a tall woman. I think it used to be about the intellectual and having a faith that can be articulated. Lately though, I keep hearing more from him about the physical. Especially when he was looking through profiles the other night with me on the phone. He also said he probably needs to change the age range of the women he's looking for to the '50s. I kind of think him and some of his male friends have gone for women in their 40s.

It's always interesting hearing your perspective Bella, I think you have lived a life that is outside anything that I have been in contact with.

 

[sampa]

Peak online dating season started December 26th. I wasn't sure if it was going to happen but one of the online dating sites sent an email saying that January 3rd there is a 65% increase, that's single sunday. And when I text a friend that has been online dating, she said ,"that explains why men are coming out of the woodwork".

From what I've read peak season should last all the way till Valentine's Day and then drop off till the spring and it will pick back up again. From my own experience in 2020, that sounds about right.

 

[MehGuy]

Wow sad.. Morgan Freeman's voice sounds pretty worn out. Will be a sad day when he passes away. He was pretty much a Hollywood loser until his 50s.. when he suddenly became a mega superstar. Goes to show that life can still throw you a curve ball in your advanced age.

 

[SarahsKnight]

It's always interesting hearing your perspective Bella, I think you have lived a life that is outside anything that I have been in contact with.

Yeah, I'd say that's a good way to describe Miss Bella.

 

[Tone]

I can stand on my own...and I can fly with her.

 

[bèlla]

Yep, that's exactly what his friends told me after he returned from his dates with me. Not seven figures, but he said that he can't shake the idea of having a tall woman.

The issue is this quote. Having a young attractive woman offsets the problems he faced in the past. She’s a sign he isn’t a loser and is capable of snagging a prize. He’s addressing esteem issues in his selections. When he moves beyond them he’ll be okay.

It's always interesting hearing your perspective Bella, I think you have lived a life that is outside anything that I have been in contact with.

I restrain my comments now. My experiences have their pros and cons and relatability is a struggle. Life isn’t as easy as it appears (in my mind) and I don’t realize the extent of my circumstances. The solution that makes sense in my head may be difficult to apply.

It has taken awhile for me to realize I can’t help. I want to. I don’t like to see people hurting or confused. But I’m too far gone. It can sound insensitive or condescending and that’s not my intention. All I can do is pray.

 

[MrMoe]

Now that I'm an adult, Christmas Day seems very anti-climatic. All that build up just for one day. It should be Christmas Week, lol.

Also, the start of a new year always feels strange. Going back to a mundane schedule after two big celebrations is a big come down.

 

[bèlla]

This is an unfortunate situation but one worth reading. Be careful what you say on the Internet. It can come back to haunt you.

 

[sampa]

The issue is this quote. Having a young attractive woman offsets the problems he faced in the past. She’s a sign he isn’t a loser and is capable of snagging a prize. He’s addressing esteem issues in his selections. When he moves beyond them he’ll be okay.

Great quote. I think he's also has some interest in Ann Rand's works. Yes, I think there's some things from his upbringing that may be the reason. He was floored when on one of our dates that I chose the cheaper dish and almost fell back in his chair comparing me to his mother that wouldn't. From what I've gathered, his parents were 7 figure but the mother squandered all of it. The same situation with the guy that I was dating last spring.

 

[sampa]

Interesting discussion this morning. A Christian reached out to me to comment on abstinence before marriage and was surprised I had that in my profile. He said he's gotten in arguments with other Christians over it. I let him know it can be important as long as its not an idol.

 

[bèlla]

Great quote. I think he's also has some interest in Ann Rand's works. Yes, I think there's some things from his upbringing that may be the reason. He was floored when on one of our dates that I chose the cheaper dish and almost fell back in his chair comparing me to his mother that wouldn't. From what I've gathered, his parents were 7 figure but the mother squandered all of it. The same situation with the guy that I was dating last spring.

That’s unfortunate. His preferences may be influenced by his upbringing. They may have impressed a standard or that’s what he saw growing up.

I don’t know if she contributed to the wealth, married well, or he made money during the marriage. But when one person squanders the resources the latter two are usually the culprit.

That’s why prenups and restrictions are put in place. One persons folly can have disastrous consequences. She needed a household account and small allowance. Giving free reign to someone lacking the knowledge and discipline to manage the coffers is unwise. Discretionary accounts are best.

Power couples are a popular remedy against inequity. Whether the resources hail from earnings, inheritance, or settlements doesn't matter. Skin in the game is the reason. When you have something to lose you behave differently than when there's little at stake. You wouldn't burn through money if you had your own. But if you're depending on provision you may be less discriminating. Most are.

I believe in inheritance. You can groom a child with a healthy money consciousness. They can be taught the responsibilities and duty their circumstances requires.

But I don't agree with making adults independently wealthy if they don't have the ability to do the same. It fosters dependency and a power dynamic. You're setting a standard they can't meet. They have to come to you. You have too much control and it diminishes their dignity.

Helping a person empower themselves is better. It increases their self-esteem and gives them something to be proud of. A work they've produced. It wasn't handed to them.

 

[Tone]

She makes me love life again...as when I was a child...

Not for what I can get out of it, this time...

But for what I can put into it...

 

[Niels]

Which instrument to learn next: saxophone or flugelhorn? I have more experience with brass than woodwinds, so flugelhorn would be the most straightforward option. However, I've always been interested in learning how to play with a reed.

 

[bèlla]

Which instrument to learn next: saxophone or flugelhorn? I have more experience with brass than woodwinds, so flugelhorn would be the most straightforward option. However, I've always been interested in learning how to play with a reed.

Given your love of jazz, I envision you playing the saxophone.

 

[Tone]

The table is set.

All we need do is eat, family!

 

[bèlla]

Ask and you shall receive!

I asked the ladies in my coaching group for relationship coach recommendations. I have two in mind but they're better suited for marriage. I would use them for a premarital step. Right now I wanted someone for me. And the first reply was spot on.

Her message reinforced the importance of self-care and mindset. I felt I needed to focus on both in the coming year. This is the third resource saying the same. That's where my attention needs to go. One of the sources really stands out. It focuses on the physical, mental, and emotional elements I want to tackle with accountability. That's what I've wanted.

God is beautifying me inside and out and bringing companions pursuing the same. I received an email from an artist I've taken classes with. She invited me to join her group. A handful of women making art and doing what they love. He's outdone Himself. I'm amazed.