• Starting today August 7th, 2024, in order to post in the Married Couples, Courting Couples, or Singles forums, you will not be allowed to post if you have your Marital status designated as private. Announcements will be made in the respective forums as well but please note that if yours is currently listed as Private, you will need to submit a ticket in the Support Area to have yours changed.

  • CF has always been a site that welcomes people from different backgrounds and beliefs to participate in discussion and even debate. That is the nature of its ministry. In view of recent events emotions are running very high. We need to remind people of some basic principles in debating on this site. We need to be civil when we express differences in opinion. No personal attacks. Avoid you, your statements. Don't characterize an entire political party with comparisons to Fascism or Communism or other extreme movements that committed atrocities. CF is not the place for broad brush or blanket statements about groups and political parties. Put the broad brushes and blankets away when you come to CF, better yet, put them in the incinerator. Debate had no place for them. We need to remember that people that commit acts of violence represent themselves or a small extreme faction.

What's on your mind?

sampa

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Wow, how things can change so quickly. I just experienced something I haven't in a whole year of online dating. My intuition told me the guy swiped right because of my pictures. I was right and he took a stab at my faith and saying I was too religious and demanding from what he read in my profile. This is the first conversation I've had on this site that I signed up 3 weeks ago with. Although they are just words and his description of me is something I've never been called in my entire life, it still hurtful.

What's even stranger is that he said he's religious because his uncle's are ministers. But he doesn't choose to put it on his profile and push his faith on others. I guess there's always tomorrow and I'm glad that I've had a lot of encouragement this past year from brothers in Christ with my faith and my profile and to not compromise my witness to others.
 
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sampa

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@sampa,

Your profile should be a reflection of the one you desire to attract. It won’t appeal to everyone and that’s okay. :)
Yes, and I laughed about it at first and ironically a friend text me to ask if I was still online dating. It was a godsend, even though she's atheist. I was able to discuss it and also give some guidance to her since she's thinking about getting back into online dating. I still feel though some strange tightness in my chest like I was verbally attacked by a guy, even though the words are minor.

And that is the intention is to repel guys like that away. But obviously this guy only looks at pictures, which I think is one of my nitpicks about this site. They don't give me much room to write about my faith. And vice versa. I thought I would give a few guys a chance even though they didn't say it in their profile to see if they had common interest in Jesus. The site only allows women to contact the men first.
Thanks Bella!
 
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bèlla

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I still feel though some strange tightness in my chest like I was verbally attacked by a guy, even though the words are minor.

If I see someone I’m not interested in I keep going. I don’t make a point of writing them and telling them why or chastising them for their profile.

I thought I would give a few guys a chance even though they didn't say it in their profile to see if they had common interest in Jesus. The site only allows women to contact the men first.

Hopefully you’ll encounter more courteous members. :)
 
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sampa

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If I see someone I’m not interested in I keep going. I don’t make a point of writing them and telling them why or chastising them for their profile.



Hopefully you’ll encounter more courteous members. :)
Yep exactly! Any normal person would do that. Which tells me something's very wrong with this individual. Common courtesy to the human race can go a long way. I can't see this person ever ending up with anybody that's healthy.
 
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bèlla

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Yep exactly! Any normal person would do that. Which tells me something's very wrong with this individual. Common courtesy to the human race can go a long way. I can't see this person ever ending up with anybody that's healthy.

Many people struggle forming relational connections. Rejection can cause them to become angry, disheartened, paranoid, or obsessive. Sometimes they take their frustrations out on others. He may encounter someone with the maturity and temperament to look beyond his shortcomings. Only God knows.

A little indifference goes a long way in relationships. You can’t react to everything. Sometimes you’ve gotta be a hill and let things roll off.
 
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SarahsKnight

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I'm blown away that my collage of Christmas photos (Indoor and outdoor) won at work for the most votes towards indoor decorations. I didn't even vote for myself. The money goes towards a good benefit, employee benefit fund. For life events of births and deaths that happen amongst our district.

Also the surprising words shared by employees this Christmas season and gift from someone that said I make them smile. She's not a smiley person.

You're an interesting lady, Miss Sampa. ^-^

.... well, and a neko, it seems. ^_^
 
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OldWiseGuy

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SarahsKnight

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still feel though some strange tightness in my chest like I was verbally attacked by a guy, even though the words are minor.

Well, sometimes what might seem like a relatively tiny insult that you can easily shake off by others might really cut deep for you. I can understand why it might stick with you enough to actually cause a negative physical sensation like that, tightness in the chest, I mean. (Sometimes my physical reaction to hearing someone's negative verbal attack on me in the past would be to feel heated and flushed in the face, for instance.)

Whatever this guy who swiped right on you said to you, I am sure he had no right to and you are much above that, Miss Sampa. Please try not to let it get to you, even if it is understandable why his attack might have done so.
 
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MehGuy

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I've learned that to keep my independent thought and voice it is best to remain single or be with a woman who is a little low on the intelligent side yet friendly and submissive. While men like to pretend they're in charge.. most relationships consists of the man being brow beaten by their female significant other. Whether they fancy themselves as socially conservative or feminist.. most of them end up the same.

Believe me.. I grew up around a "socially conservative" circle. Feminists would cry about misogyny.. but most of these relationships.. on paper the male wore the pants in the relationship.. but in reality the females wore them.
 
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sampa

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Well, sometimes what might seem like a relatively tiny insult that you can easily shake off by others might really cut deep for you. I can understand why it might stick with you enough to actually cause a negative physical sensation like that, tightness in the chest, I mean. (Sometimes my physical reaction to hearing someone's negative verbal attack on me in the past would be to feel heated and flushed in the face, for instance.)

Whatever this guy who swiped right on you said to you, I am sure he had no right to and you are much above that, Miss Sampa. Please try not to let it get to you, even if it is understandable why his attack might have done so.
Yes, thank you for your kind words. I sometimes can be a bit of a sensitive soul.
 
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OldWiseGuy

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I've learned that to keep my independent thought and voice it is best to remain single or be with a woman who is a little low on the intelligent side yet friendly and submissive. While men like to pretend they're in charge.. most relationships consists of the man being brow beaten by their female significant other. Whether they fancy themselves as socially conservative or feminist.. most of them end up the same.

Believe me.. I grew up around a "socially conservative" circle. Feminists would cry about misogyny.. but most of these relationships.. on paper the male wore the pants in the relationship.. but in reality the females wore them.

A man should be in charge, of his responsibilities, as should she. Proverbs 31 gives a clue. In order for two to walk together they must be in agreement. However this requires a plan of some sort to agree on. Many couples have no plan therefore nothing to agree on or work for.

When I was young and dating I had no plan for anything. However the women I dated wanted to have some idea of how exactly they fit into my life and where the relationship was going.

When I finally married I was in charge, so much so that it frustrated my wife and she finally left me. She came from a family whose women were solidly in charge. I believe this was in her genes but she couldn't realize it while married to me.
 
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MehGuy

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A man should be in charge, of his responsibilities, as should she. Proverbs 31 gives a clue. In order for two to walk together they must be in agreement. However this requires a plan of some sort to agree on. Many couples have no plan therefore nothing to agree on or work for.

When I was young and dating I had no plan for anything. However the women I dated wanted to have some idea of how exactly they fit into my life and where the relationship was going.

When I finally married I was in charge, so much so that it frustrated my wife and she finally left me. She came from a family whose women were solidly in charge. I believe this was in her genes but she couldn't realize it while married to me.

The men and women I knew had a plan.. once the honeymoon was over and the romance died the men went into submission mode. A woman is a human being after all.. and we strive for comfort and that often means seizing the means of control. and for whatever biological reason.. men are built to want to please women.
 
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OldWiseGuy

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The men I knew had a plan.. once the honeymoon was over and the romance died the men went into submission mode.

Some men can be lulled into submission? Women can make it pretty nice for you, and you don't want to rock that boat. ;)
 
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MehGuy

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Some men can be lulled into submission? Women can make it pretty nice for you, and you don't want to rock that boat. ;)


Yeah.. I don't want any part of it.. lol.
 
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MehGuy

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Well let's not be hasty, there are parts of it that are quite enjoyable. :tonguewink:

Not worth it in the end. I need to be smart about how I marry.. more specifically free from SJW mindsets.
 
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