Learning To Love

[Isilwen]

As Christians we need to love people!! So there are things in the OP and this thread which are important to understand. Yet understanding comes from the mouth of God and not us leaning on our own understanding!!!!

Prov 2:6 For the LORD gives wisdom; From His mouth come knowledge and understanding.

Prov 3:5-7 Trust in the LORD with all your heart And do not lean on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He will make your paths straight.
Do not be wise in your own eyes; Fear the LORD and turn away from evil.

I believe there is a problem in the OP and in this thread as presented!

I worked in a Christian healing ministry for 5 years. Christians came in needing healing! Mostly they did not come in for physical healing, in fact many didn't consider God could or would heal they physical problems, so often as not I found out about the physical problems from the Lord talking to me instead of the person telling me. Yet I am not talking about physical problems right now.

I am talking about well meaning Christians destroying other peoples lives because they are not listening to the Lord!!!!!!!!!

I am going to give you 2 examples, but this happens all the time. The 'this' I am talking about is one Christian telling the other Christian what they must do instead of sending the to the Lord to find out what He needs for them to do. It is making it about works of the Law instead of about hearing Jesus Christ.

First example - because I worked in the healing ministry I was asked by the Lord to help in another ministry at times, which was available to people in the church. There was a class meant to teach and help people get some deep healing, and at the end of that class some ministry was done. I was helping with the ministry at the end. I was working with a young man that was well connected at the church and considered a future leader. I think we ministered to about 4 people that day but right, and were probably into the third person when about a minute before are next person came in the Lord started getting chatty with me.

I am always trying to listen to Him at those times but suddenly His voice had an urgent and very concern sound to it. He was telling me something like "Karl, this next person coming in has a very big problem and it is with the church. He is well-know in the church and you are going to have to handle this very carefully. Listen to me very closely and go slow, because I need this problem handled. The person is blaming Me, but only because He doesn't understand. I need you to help him understand, so listen close."

Ok - that indeed caught my attention and I was trying to put it all together as the person came in. I had never seen him before, but the future leader I was with knew the person really well. It turns out that he had a job in the office of the church.

Now the Lord kept talking to me, though I was not sure exactly what was up yet. When I got a chance the Lord had me ask the person what they were hoping to do with their life - that released the information and disclosed the problem, and it was a very serious problem.

This was a very sharp young man who had a dream, a vision, and a hope. He had hoped to become an engineer. He wanted to go to college, but he also wanted to to the right thing. One of the pastors at the church, meaning well, had gotten him a job in the office of the church to "help" him. He had recently gotten married, so that pastor seeing that he was a sharp young man and seeking that he was a Christian wanting to do the right thing talked man into taking a job serving at the church!

HUGH MISTAKE!!!! This young man married man who wanted to be an engineer and was smart enough to be an engineer was now working at an extremely low paying job so him and his wife were stuck in a small room in her parents home. He was mad at the Lord - and you know what I could understand why. He had been in that situation for over a year and it was tearing him up and his marriage apart, all because he was serving the Lord according to what this well-meaning a "wise" pastor had told him.

That pastor never told him to seek the voice of the Lord!! But serve the Lord according to what the pastor had told him was the message given to this young smart promising man, and it was wrecking his life.

The Lord told me to ask him specifically, "Do you think the Lord could make use of an engineer?"

With those words I had been told to ask by the Lord Himself, that man got life back in him! There is a bit more to that side of the story. I believe it got that man back on track, got him understanding, and I believe helped stop him being mad at God. I believe he got a great lesson about hearing from the Lord and not just doing things because some pastor told you. A good lesson to learn.

Yet I want to bring up one other thing before the next testimony. I had taken a class with that specific pastor about two years earlier. In that class that pastor told us who he wisely choose who worked for him at the church and he didn't mention anything about hearing from the Lord when choosing who worked at the church. So I had asked him then, 2 years earlier, if he shouldn't seek the voice of the Lord before hiring someone, and he dismissed that question with prejudice. Now he had ruined this young man's life in the name of God, and the Lord had just used me to correct the problem.

People - your best works are just filthy rags to the Lord - you have to hear from him.

So now the next story and it is almost exactly like the first but it went further and is more personal to me.

A while ago the Lord told gave me a message, somewhat vague or perhaps not, to someone. The message was about a ring in the fire. And yes, there was a ring in the fire. That man was making arraignments to propose marriage to, as it turned out, a niece of mine. They got married and in a huge wedding. I heard $30,000 was spent on just the wedding, and they looked like the perfect couple. It should have worked out, but a pastor got in the way!!

The young man was a Christian and wanted to serve the Lord. The pastor at his church had told the young man that he should leave his job and move closer to the church and they would make a minister of him. So he was not living with his new wife. The marriage never got going because of the silly stupid advice from some idiotic pastor who didn't listen to the Lord.

Ok, that is no way to talk about a man of God, but if he was indeed a man of God he would have listened to the Lord and not literally broken up their marriage!! My Lord does not do that type of thing!! And if you even read the Bible you know that a husband is supposed to cling to his wife! Yet even well schooled and well meaning pastor do them!!

People - you need to seek the Lord and get to know Him. He is love, not even your pastor is love. The pastor or priest at your church has a job to do and it involves listening the Lord our God Jesus Christ and if they don't do that they cause problems no matter how much they talk about love! They need to listen to love - God is love - so listen to Him and quit leaning on your own understanding.


BTW - There are pastors who faithfully listen to the Lord. In that first story about the pastor and engineer. The head pastor at that church does hear from the Lord. In fact, the pastor who didn't hear from the Lord when hiring people once told the whole congregation how he had come to sit in the back of the service and was asking the Lord what he was supposed to do next with the head pastor pointed to him at the back during a service and told him that they had to talk after the service. It turns out that the pastor who did not listen to the Lord and even dismissed the idea of listening to the Lord when hiring people had in fact gotten his job because the head pastor at the church did listen to the Lord when hiring, and he knew that but didn't follow the example before him.

Jesus is the true head pastor and He set an example of listening and doing only what the Father told Him. Should we follow His example?

Since you're not willing to see that there are others ways of doing things beyond your own, we will just have to agree to disagree and I will see you in heaven. Perhaps we'll have a good laugh about it.

 

[K2K]

Since you're not willing to see that there are others ways of doing things beyond your own, we will just have to agree to disagree and I will see you in heaven. Perhaps we'll have a good laugh about it.

I hope, but His sheep hear His voice, unless the Bible is wrong. Still, I do agree that God gave us choices so I can agree to disagree, but don't you think it is wise to seek Him about this?

 

[Isilwen]

I hope, but His sheep hear His voice, unless the Bible is wrong. Still, I do agree that God gave us choices so I can agree to disagree, but don't you think it is wise to seek Him about this?

We will just have to agree to disagree.

 

[WebersHome]

.
● 1Cor 16:20 . . Greet one another with a holy kiss.

Kissing was a common form of greeting in the old world; and still is in the Middle East and certain parts of Europe; but here in America-- a super-sized racial/cultural/ethnic amalgam of customs from all over the globe --it's wise to dispense your kisses with discretion. Some of us don't even like to be hugged, let alone bussed; and if you should perchance try to make physical contact with an autistic Christian, you're liable to cause them a panic attack; so go easy on the touchy-feely stuff.

The people to whom Paul referred as "one another" are one's fellow born-again Christians. We're not required to be cozy with unbelievers. You can be courteous to them, yes (cf. Matt 5:47) but reserve especially warm greetings for your siblings; viz: those who've undergone a second birth as per John 1:12-13 and John 3:3-8, and thus share your adoption into God's home as per Rom 8:15-17.
_

 

[WebersHome]

.
● 2Cor 2:6-8 . . The punishment inflicted on him by the majority is sufficient for him. Now instead, you ought to forgive and comfort him, so that he will not be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow. I urge you, therefore, to reaffirm your love for him.

The cause for which Paul wrote that section was a guy in the Corinthian church sleeping with his stepmother (1Cor 5:1). Paul had commanded the congregation to not only hold the man's feet to the fire, but also to ostracize him.

Some time had passed since then, and the man was apparently regretting his actions, and broken off the illicit relationship with his kin, so it was time to let him back into the group. No doubt the humiliation of it all had a tremendous impact upon his attitude-- probably upon the congregation's too because at first their attitude wasn't all that good about it either. (cf. 1Cor 5:2)

Here in America scolding and ostracizing a church member would probably just make them resentful rather than repentant. (cf. Ps 51:17)

FAQ: Doesn't 2Cor 2:5-10 support the Watchtower Society's shunning and Scientology's disconnection?

A: Those organizations practice an extreme form of ostracizing that oftentimes destroys friendship bonds, destroys family ties, and even destroys marriage vows. Paul never meant for Christ's followers to go that far. His ostracizing is pretty much limited to church, viz: congregational functions, e.g. worship, communion, prayer meetings, banquets, etc. Taking Paul's instructions to extremes puts people in jeopardy of failing to comply with Christ's instructions at Matt 5:44-48. (cf. 2Thess 3:14-15)
_

 

[WebersHome]

.
● 2Cor 9:7 . . Each man should give what he has decided in his heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion for God loves a cheerful giver.

Towards what end is the giving spoken of in the New Testament? To finance ambitious building programs? Well; Christians back then met in homes. Did their contributions go towards obtaining more homes to meet in? No.

Within the context of the New Testament, giving in the early church was charitable. It met needs rather than expenses; and those needs were typically congregational rather than universal; viz: their charity went towards those amongst themselves and/or other congregations that were hungry, sick, injured, homeless, alone, helpless, missionaries, full-time-church officers, orphans, widows, abandoned, and/or oppressed, etc.
_

 

[WebersHome]

.
● Gal 5:26 . . Let us not be conceited, provoking one another, envying one another.

Webster's defines "conceit" as: excessive self-appreciation of one's own worth or virtue.

There's nothing intrinsically wrong with having strong core values and/or believing in yourself, but if you should find yourself somewhat indignant and/or resentful when others don't believe in you, or when they think very little of your core values; then watch out because that's a symptom of conceit, and it will hinder you from obeying the Lord's orders in regard to getting along with fellow believers.

The Greek word for "provoke" is prokaleomai (prok-al-eh'-om-ahee) which means to challenge; viz: to get in somebody's face in an obnoxious, assertive, militant manner; which is a kind of behavior that prevents people from deserving identification with God's kin.

"Blessed are the peaceable: for they shall be called the children of God." (Matt 5:9)

The Greek word for "envy" is phthoneo (fthon-eh'-o) which means: hostile toward a rival, or towards someone believed to enjoy an advantage. In other words; we're talking about a competitive spirit-- not the good-natured, friendly kind but a malicious kind of competitive spirit that resents others doing better than itself, or more popular than itself, or more recognized than itself, or more admired than itself; viz; it's all about self.

Rivalry is a very destructive passion. It got Abel slain by his own brother, and it got Christ slain by his own people. Rivalry makes otherwise sensible people behave contrary to their own better judgment, and gets them embroiled in oftentimes unnecessary vendettas; e.g. gender rivalry and racial rivalry. Now those two there are very destructive social influences.
_

 

[WebersHome]

.
● Gal 6:1a . . Brethren, even if someone is caught in the very act of any trespass, you who are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness;

The Greek word for "trespass" is interesting. It can refer to willful misconduct and/or to unintentional misconduct. Seeing as how willful misconduct is dealt with harshly and summarily as per 1Cor 5:1-13 while in this situation gently, then I'd say Gal 6:1 is referring to unintentional misconduct; which doesn't merit a public flogging; but rather a quiet talk; and the more private the better in order to avoid embarrassing the unintentional offender.

Restoration does not apply to visitors; only to members on a church's roles; i.e. the congregation. The visitors' business is none of our business so don't go sticking your nose in it.

The Greek word for "restore" basically means to repair or adjust, viz: restoration applies to maladjusted Christians, i.e. the ones whose misconduct is habitual, and quite possibly detrimental to a church's overall health.

A spirit of gentleness precludes the use of bullying, intimidation, rage. yelling, demeaning comments, lecturing, scolding, biting sarcasm, ugly remarks, carping criticism, brow beating, and such. Those kinds of behaviors aren't gentle, no, they're cruel and abusive. They're also unwarranted when the accused has committed an unintentional trespass.

NOTE: The instructions given in Gal 6:1 pertain only to spiritual Christians. The garden variety, rank and file pew warmers-- viz: marginal Christians --need not concern themselves with it.

In churches where people are conceited, assertive, confrontational, embroiled in petty rivalries, debating, quarrelling, and maybe even jostling for notoriety; the spiritual ones are obviously going to be as scarce as California Condors.

"each one looking to yourself, lest you too be tempted." (Gal 6:1b)

The Greek word for "tempted" is somewhat ambiguous. It primarily means to test; but can also mean endeavor, scrutinize, entice, and/or discipline.

I think what the restorers are being cautioned against is going about a right thing in a wrong way so that they themselves wind up taken to task for conduct unbecoming. In some people's minds, the end justifies the means so long as it benefits the so-called greater good. But that's Machiavellian thinking rather than Christian thinking.

In other words: the restorers need to tread lightly because if they go after an alleged offender like a lynch mob; then they themselves should expect to be seen by others as a toxic menace and a threat to congregational peace, trust, and cohesion.
_

 

[WebersHome]

.
● Gal 6:2 . . Bear one another's burdens, and thus fulfill the law of Christ.

It's human nature to shun people with problems so they don't drag us into a world of inconvenience and/or negativity. But that is not what I call fulfilling the law of Christ; which reads thusly:

"A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another." (John 13:34-35)

The love that is defined by "As I have loved you" is a kind of love willing to suffer inconvenience, shame, humiliation, embarrassment, and disgrace for the sake of another. Christ's love isn't a fault-finding attitude; it's a supportive virtue: it doesn't only feel your pain, it gets involved in your pain.

Church can be the loneliest place on earth when nobody cares enough about you to get involved in your pain; but instead would just as soon not know about it. Sadly, there is about as much love for one another in modern churches as there is amongst an audience of strangers at the movies. I sincerely believe that a lot of that indifference has to do with modern churches just simply being too big, too busy, and too complex; where individuals are as anonymous and inconspicuous as a drop of pigment in a bucket of paint.
_

 

[WebersHome]

.
● Gal 6:10 . . So then, whenever we have opportunity, let us do good to all men, and especially to those who are of the household of the faith.

Good can take any number of forms but I think a useful description we could apply here is "beneficial".

Jesus did good (Acts 10:30) i.e. he was very definitely beneficial; not just on the cross or by his teachings, but in practical ways too.

Those who are of the "household of the faith" are actually kin; viz: siblings; and like they say: charity begins at home.

Some churches have what they call a deacon's fund; to assist members who are down and out and/or in dire straits.

And don't overlook your church's senior citizens. Some may be getting up in years and finding it difficult to even maintain their own homes and yards anymore. Chores may not seem all that spiritual; but pitch in anyway if for no other reason than your assistance is beneficial.
_

 

[WebersHome]

.
● Eph 4:2 . . Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, putting up with another in love.

The Greek word translated "love" in that passage is agape (ag-ah'-pay) which is fortunate because it doesn't necessarily speak of affection like the Greek word phileo. It mostly pertains to personal conduct, e.g. civility, courtesy, sympathy, thoughtfulness, tolerance, charity, kindness, lenience, understanding, diplomacy, etc. which are common social skills that even the most insensitive clod on earth can practice if they put their mind to it.

"Humility" is one of those virtues that people love to talk about; but rarely ever seem to exemplify. The Greek word is a tongue twister. It's tapeinophrosune (tap-i-nof-ros-oo'-nay) which means humiliation of mind, viz: modesty; defined by Webster's as free from conceit and/or vanity.

"Conceit" is defined as excessive appreciation of one's own worth or virtue, viz: arrogance, i.e. a superiority complex and/or a master-race mentality. (A conceited supervisor was a very key factor in the Chernobyl disaster. Had he been more reasonable, and less arrogant, the disaster might've been easily averted.)

"Vanity" is defined as inflated pride in oneself, viz: narcissism and/or self adoration.

Cosmetics and figure-shaping undergarments don't really qualify as the kind of vanity that Paul is talking about; which is a kind of vanity that goes way beyond just trying to look your best.

Sinful vanity is an ugly creature. It's self aggrandizing and it isn't gentle either, on the contrary; vanity can be quite cruel and competitive, caring only what's best for itself. Vanity abhors associating with people whose station in life is decidedly below its own; and God forbid someone below themselves should have the nerve to correct either their conduct or their knowledge.

"Patience" is defined as the power, or capacity, to endure without complaint something and/or someone difficult or disagreeable; especially when it comes to certain folk who seem to have a knack for getting on people's nerves.
_

 

[WebersHome]

.
● Eph 4:3 . . Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.

Peace can be roughly defined as the absence of strife, e.g. debating, quarrelling, rivalry, competition and/or envy, etc. The Spirit has much to say in regard to Christian social skills; and if each and every believer would listen to Him, the natural result is going to be harmony wherever and whenever they associate with one another.
_

 

[WebersHome]

.
● Eph 4:25 . . Each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are all members of one body.

One's neighbor is not the same as one's brother; i.e. the former is an acquaintance, the latter is kin.

The command is directed at "each" of you-- i.e. individuals --because one dishonest Christian disgraces all Christians, and raises questions about the credibility of their religion because that's the way propaganda machinery works.

NOTE: Dishonesty is an unkind, destructive behavior.

"A lying tongue hates its victims" (Prov 26:28)
_

 

[WebersHome]

.
● Eph 4:26a . . In your anger do not sin.

Anger isn't eo ipso evil. It's how one manages their anger that matters. Anger can be a very useful tool when it's applied by somebody who knows what they're doing. For example:

"And when Jesus had looked round about on them with anger, being grieved for the hardness of their hearts, he saith unto the man: Stretch forth thine hand. And he stretched it out: and his hand was restored whole as the other." (Mark 3:5)

Everybody gets angry from time to time; just don't let it drive you to doing something contrary to your better judgment, e.g. violence, profanity, malice, cruelty, uncivil behavior, spite, ugly remarks, emotional outbursts, demeaning comments, grudging, hysteria, shouting, and spraying spittle.
_

 

[WebersHome]

.
● Eph 4:26b-27 . . Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the Devil a foothold.

Some people treat their anger like a prized possession: they don't want to lose it. They actually prefer to stay angry rather than "get over it". To them, anger management is for weaklings.

Apparently the Devil is quick to find a use for Christians like that, i.e. they become what's called in the spy business; an asset.
_

 

[WebersHome]

.
● Eph 4:29 . . Don't use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.

"helpful" is from the Greek word oikodome (oy-kod-om-ay') which means: to build up (as opposed to tearing down).

"foul or abusive" is from the word sapros (sap-ros') which means: rotten, i.e. worthless (literally or morally) viz: inappropriate.

The foul and abusive category no doubt includes not only profanity, but also biting sarcasm, thoughtless remarks, demeaning comments, chafing, relentless fault-finding, sneering, ridicule, mean spirited rejoinders, mockery, and unnecessary criticism.
_

 

[WebersHome]

.
● Eph 4:31 . . Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of malicious behavior.

It wasn't The Lord's will that Ephesian Christians avoid all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice; no; on the contrary, he wanted the Ephesians to "get rid" of them.

"bitterness" is from the Greek word pikria (pik-ree'-ah) which means: acrid, poisonous, and/or toxic (literally or figuratively). Christians like that are nothing in the world but deadly reptiles.

"The poison of asps is under their lips" (Rom 3:13b)

"rage" is from thumos (thoo-mos') which means: passion (as if breathing hard). Passion is just the opposite of reason; and as everyone knows, emotions are incoherent; so it's to be expected an emotional person is not acting rationally. This is a kind of conduct that Paul says brings sorrow to God's Spirit.

"anger" is from orge (or-gay') which means: desire (as a reaching forth or excitement of the mind), i.e. (by analogy,) violent passion, ire, (by implication: punishment)

People overcome by orge typically want some satisfaction; even to the point of at least your ruin; if not your death.

"harsh words" is from krauge (krow-gay') which means: outcry.

Out-crying is what protestors do; in other words: assertive, in-your-face confrontational complaints and/or demands.

"slander" is from blasphemia (blas-fay-me'-ah) which means: to vilify. Webster's defines "vilify" as: (1) to lower in estimation or importance, and (2) to utter slanderous and abusive statements against; viz: defame, discredit, and/or denigrate.

A statement need not be false in order to qualify as slander; it need only to be unnecessary; viz: you'll often hear people say: Well, I was only telling the truth. Were they? No, that's a ruse. In reality, they're insensitive; and they don't care who gets hurt by their thoughtless remarks.

The Lord notices the words people say, and he also takes note of the spirit in which they say them.

"But I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken." (Matt 12:36)

"malicious behavior" is from kakia (kak-ee'-ah) which means: badness, i.e. (subjectively) depravity, or (actively) malignity, or (passively) trouble:

Malice sometimes includes the element of "spite" which Webster's defines as: petty ill will, or hatred, with the disposition to irritate, annoy, or thwart. Compare that to the Greek word for "persecute" in the eighth Beatitude which means, literally: to pursue; viz: to stalk, to hound, to harass.

Webster's defines "thwart" as: (1) to run counter to so as to effectively oppose or baffle; viz: contravene, and (2) to oppose successfully; viz: to defeat the hopes or aspirations of; in other words: to deliberately get in someone's way; block, discourage.

Boy I'll tell you, that Ephesian church was as rough-hewn and crude as the old logging community of Stump Town (now Portland) out here in the Oregon of the 1800's. They cussed, they brawled, they bad-mouthed, they held grudges, they were thieves, they were arrogant, they somehow had the idea that Jews were below them, they were immodest, conceited, vain, and impatient, they walked unworthy of their calling, and they were splintered into cliques.

NOTE: I've heard more than one expositor praise the Ephesians as "the church at its spiritual peak" but I thoroughly disagree. Yes, there were some outstanding individuals, but by and large that congregation's spiritual condition was decadent, deplorable, despicable, and unbecoming.

Paul began his letter to the Ephesians by saying that he made mention of them in his prayers; asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, might give them the Spirit of wisdom and revelation; and also that the eyes of their heart might be enlightened. (Eph 1:17-19)

Well, it seems to me that kind of prayer isn't for advanced Christians, rather, for Christians just starting out. From thence, Paul went on to explain some of Christianity's most treasured doctrines, which I assume the Ephesians had no knowledge of till Paul wrote to them.

I'll grant that the letter to the Ephesians is lofty, but I will not grant that the Ephesians themselves were lofty: not from how Paul lectured them.
_

 

[WebersHome]

.
● Eph 4:32 . . Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

Within the context of the letter Paul wrote and sent to the Christians residing in the ancient city of Ephesus; the objects "one another" and "each other" are exclusive; viz: the comments refer only to one's fellow Bible-believing Christians rather than the world at large. So if you're unwilling to be kind and compassionate to outsiders; at least be so with people at church so as to help prevent church from becoming a hostile worship environment.

The Greek word translatred "kind" is chrestos (khrase-tos') which means: employed; viz: useful.

Chrestos is found in only seven places in the New Testament, and without exception implies being beneficial to others for their own good rather than using people to benefit your own self.

The word for "compassionate" is eusplagchnos (yoo'-splangkh-nos) which means: sympathetic.

Webster's defines sympathy as: 1) an affinity, association, or relationship between persons or things wherein whatever affects one similarly affects the other, 2) inclination to think or feel alike: emotional or intellectual accord, 3) feeling of loyalty: tendency to favor or support, 4) the act, or capacity, of entering into or sharing the feelings or interests of another, 5) sensitivity, and 6) heart; as in "have a heart".

Eusplagchnos would make a good substitute for a word found in one of The Lord's beatitudes.

"Blessed are the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy." (Matt 5:7)

"merciful" is from the word eleemon (el-eh-ay'-mone) which means pretty much the same thing as eusplagchnos: compassionate and sympathetic.

It used to be that Boy Scouts and Cub Scouts were trained to be useful to others as just simply a matter of good deeds and good citizenship. I don't know, maybe they still are; but I've known lots of churchians who were totally useless to others because they're infected with an ugly spirit of conceit, rivalry, and indifference. Far from being kind and compassionate; those Christians are actually sociopathic and don't even know it.

The word "forgiving" is charizomai (khar-id'-zom-ahee) which essentially means: to grant as a favor; viz: gratuitously, i.e. courtesy.

Webster's defines gratuitous as: 1) given unearned or without recompense, 2) not involving a return benefit or compensation or consideration, 3) costing nothing: free, 4) not called for by the circumstances: unwarranted, 5) complimentary, 6) gratis, and 7) voluntary. In other words; charizomai seeks no reciprocation; it never says "you owe me one"

Sailors are oft heard to say that the sea is very unforgiving: meaning it allows no room for error or weakness. Christians ought not be like the sea. We ought to be the most forgiving people on the planet; and not because we expect others to reciprocate; but just because we enjoy being gratuitous. For some Christians though, courtesy is an effort.

Eph 4:31-32 isn't easy. What we're looking at there is not just good citizenship; no, what we're looking at is something divine in both its nature and its behavior.
_

 

[WebersHome]

.
● Eph 5:2 . . Live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.

Christ's love went way beyond just being friendly and helpful. His was a sacrificial kind of love; in other words: it was protective and supportive at the cost of deep expense to himself-- but not just as a humanitarian. Christ's life counted for more than just being neighborly, his life of love was an act of worship.

"I have come down from heaven, not to do my own will, but the will of Him who sent me." (John 6:38)

"I do always those things that please Him." (John 8:29)

In point of fact, God prefers to be worshipped by concern for others rather than by rituals and/or church services and attendance.

"This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers." (1John 3:16)

"For I desire mercy, not sacrifice, and acknowledgment of God rather than burnt offerings." (Hos 6:6)
_

 

[WebersHome]

.
● Eph 5:21 . . Submit to one another out of respect for Christ.

The Greek word translated "submit" is hupotasso (hoop-ot-as'-so) which means: to subordinate (as a verb) which is just the opposite of dominate and/or compete.

A workable synonym for the kind of submission we're talking about here is "deference" which Webster's defines as: (1) respect and esteem due a superior or an elder, and (2) affected, or ingratiating, regard for another's wishes; viz: honor.

This isn't about a pecking order. What we're talking about here is a Christian social skill; it's about regarding others as not equal to yourself, but actually better than yourself; and it pleases Christ to do so; besides being just plain all around good manners.

"Whoever humbles himself as a little child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven." (Matt 18:3-4)

Little children in that day were minors who had little or no social status at all to speak of. If somebody abused a minor; it was just too bad since there were no Child Services bureaus to defend them. Minors were typically among those ruled rather than among those who do the ruling; and they got like zero-to-none respect from their elders.

In other words; an imperious Christian-- one that's assertive, bossy, take charge, demanding, argumentative, quarrelsome, impudent, conceited, domineering, confrontational, manipulative, reactive, independent, non negotiable, opinionated, obstinately or intolerantly devoted to their own opinions and prejudices, stubborn, and insistent upon their own way --is definitely a failure at associating with their fellow Christians in a manner acceptable to Christ.
_