Learning To Love

[WebersHome]

.
● Eph 6:4 . . Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of The Lord.

Too often the first half of that verse is omitted and the focus swung entirely upon the second. Well; let's break ranks and include the first half for a change because a daddy's parenting style has far more effect upon a growing child than his religion.

To begin with: despotism, tyranny, and unfairness are not The Lord's way of raising kids; but rather; his way is the manner of a shepherd; and "good" shepherds aren't cruel to their flocks.

Maybe you don't burn your kids with cigarettes, pour Tabasco sauce in their eyes, or lock them in a hall closet without food and water for two days; but do you ignore their opinions, demean them with denigrating labels, ridicule them, threaten their lives, work them as slaves without compensation, deny them things just so you won't appear to indulge them, and/or say "no" to their requests for no good reason than that you don't want to seem weak and under their control?

Do you routinely abuse their human rights, and/or relegate them to the level of livestock rather than bona fide human beings with feelings and a mind of their own? Do you nurture within them a feeling of importance, of belonging in your home, or do you make them feel like an invasive species and/or an uninvited guest? Kids pick up on things like that.

But aren't there moms out there exasperating their kids? Of course! Mothers can be just as tyrannical, just as despotic, and just as unfair as dads.

I believe it is a Spirit-filled dad's sacred filial duty to defend his children from their own mother's abuses should the need arise. Not many dads are willing to do that because it means risking having the wife turn against him; so quite a few dads opt to sacrifice the children in order to keep momma happy.

In my opinion, throwing one's own children to the wolves in order to avoid living in the same house with a moody woman has to be one of the worst possible sins a man can ever commit in his own home. It's just downright cowardly; and tells the kids they can't trust the one man in the whole world upon whom they should be able to rely in times of distress.
_

 

[WebersHome]

.
● Eph 6:9a . . Masters, treat your slaves in the same way. Do not threaten them, since you know that he who is both their Master and yours is in heaven,

I have yet to discover a passage in the Bible either condemning or forbidding slavery. I'm not saying there are none; it's just that as for myself, I have yet to run across one. But I have discovered passages related to the treatment of slaves.

in the same way hails back to Eph 6:7 where it says:

"With good will doing service, as to the Lord, and not to men"

Note that herein masters are not required to liberate their slaves; rather, to treat them with good will; roughly defined as benevolent interest or concern, i.e. kindness and charity.

In a situation where both the slave and his owner are Christians, things become just a bit complicated because they're siblings together in God's family (Gal 3:28). Therefore, Christ's law is to be exemplified by both the slave and his master.

"My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends." (John 15:12-13)

A slave owner willing to sacrifice his life to protect his slaves would be an unusual master; but that is the very thing expected from him when he's a Christian and his slaves are Christians; and should probably be the attitude of a Christian supervisor towards his Christian employees: which is the attitude of a good shepherd rather than that of a self-serving predator.
_

 

[WebersHome]

.
● Phil 2:1-2 . . If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose.

"unity" is a buzz word among ecumenicals; but Christ's directive in no way pertains to ecumenicals whose core belief it is that no one's wrong, and everyone's a Christian if they say so. No, The Lord's directive only pertains to a very narrow cross section of Christians whom he labeled: "those you have given me" (John 17:9). It is they for whom The Lord prayed for unity. (John 17:11, John 17:21-22)

The Greek word for "tenderness and compassion" is splagchnon (splangkh'-non) which means: an intestine. Your gut is the very place where you "feel" pity and/or sympathy for others-- that is; if you're capable of those kinds of feelings; not everyone is.
_

 

[WebersHome]

.
● Phil 2:2-3 . . Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.

If there is at least one place on earth where believers should be on the same plane with each other it's church; but that's not always the case as human beings are just naturally prone to status; especially among pastors, choir members, Sunday school teachers, Deacons, Deaconesses, etc.

Some people aren't content with mediocrity; no, they have to be head and shoulders above the crowd, they have to be admired: they have to be feted, they have to be heard, they have to be noticed, they have to be somebody, they have to be a mover and a shaker, they have to be up in an ivory tower; they have to have their finger on the pulse; they have to be in the limelight. And above all; they have to be right because it is totally contrary to conceit's nature to be wrong about anything; even superfluous minutiae.

If you should find yourself in a position around your church, whether as an usher or a cook for men's Saturday morning prayer breakfast, make sure your heart's in the right place because there is coming a performance evaluation for the Lord's sheep where some of the elite are going to be very embarrassed when they're exposed for the ambitious achievers they really are.

"He will bring to light what is hidden in darkness, and will expose the motives of men's hearts." (1Cor 4:5)

An especially bad case of "vain conceit" is on display at 3John 1:9-10
_

 

[WebersHome]

.
● Phil 2:4 . . Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.

The "others" in that verse are exclusive. Paul's directive pertains only to the classification of people to whom he penned his letter; viz: "saints in Christ Jesus . . together with the overseers and deacons" (Phil 1:1)

Seeing as how The Lord expressly forbids selfish ambition amongst his own; therefore, before proceeding with your ideas, be very sure to ponder all the possible ramifications of your actions first.

Stepping on people's toes, and/or thwarting their ideas so that yours prevail, fails to satisfy the law of Christ; which requires believers to love their fellow believers as Christ loves them (John 15:12). It also fails to satisfy the Golden Rule which says: So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you. (Matt 7:12). Always looking out for No.1 just simply isn't very nice.
_

 

[WebersHome]

.
● Phil 4:5 . . Let your gentleness be evident to all.

The Greek word translated "gentleness" is epieikes (ep-ee-i-kace') which essentially means: mild.

Webster's defines "mild" as gentle in nature or behavior, moderate in action or effect; not sharp or bitter, i.e. mellow; which is just the opposite of fierce, harsh, rough, scathing, mean, abrasive, stormy, intemperate, strict, and/or severe.

Though a mild/mellow person is affable, they aren't necessarily a wimp; no, they're just not easy to provoke. The quite opposite would be a thin skinned, reactive, defensive personality that goes to war at the drop of a hat.

Mild people don't threaten, nor come at you with bared teeth and narrowed eyes. They're reasonable and rational, rather than emotional and reactive. Assertive, confrontational people have no clue what it is to be mild; and those are the very ones losing sleep with evil thoughts as they obsessively re-wind and re-play a conflict with somebody in their heads over, and over, and over again rehearsing things they should've said, and would've said, had they thought of them.

"Blessed are the meek." (Matt 5:5)

Moses was meek (Num 12:3) and Christ was meek (Matt 11:29, Matt 21:5). Personally I wouldn't categorize either of those two men as meek. So then, what really is meekness?

Primarily, to be meek, in the Biblical sense of the word, is to be temperate. A temperate person isn't eo ipso a cowering milk toast. Anybody who's studied the life of Moses and Jesus can easily testify that neither of those men were timid; no, they walked softly but carried a big stick, so to speak. Never mistake true meekness for a yellow streak.

Jacob and his dad Isaac were temperate men; but could be very strong when the situation called for it. Temperate people pick their battles carefully, and never waste anger and energy on trifles.

There are Christians in this world who're simply implacable. They just cannot live and let live. Turning the other cheek is to them a worn-out cliché that no one takes seriously anymore. For them rivalry, conflict, revenge, competition, retaliation, recriminations, and grudging are a way of life: every disagreement is an act of war-- they're peevish, emotional, bitter, harsh, unloving, cruel, thoughtless, and reactive; and they thrive on complaining, criticizing, chafing, carping, finding fault, tattling, bickering, retort upon retort, rejoinder upon rejoinder, sarcasm, endless debate, dredging up old unresolved conflicts, gainsaying, and getting in people's faces and giving them a piece of their mind.

It seems like those people are always getting indignant about some petty outrage or another. Well; those kinds of Christians are definitely not in the "gentle" category. They're hellish, toxic demons who relish letting their wrath be evident to all instead of gentleness because when they're upset; they want everybody to know it.
_

 

[WebersHome]

.
● Col 3:8 . . Put off all these: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips.

Webster's defines "malice" as desire to cause pain, injury, or distress to another. Behaviors like deliberate chafing, needling, ridicule, mockery, taunts, demeaning comments, ugly words that tear people down rather than build them up, denigrating labels, biting sarcasm, fault-finding, carping criticism, thoughtless remarks, petty ill will, spite, vindictiveness, and stalking are all malicious behaviors that no one in heaven ever practices because heaven is a place of peace.

The Greek word for "filthy conversation" is aischrologia (ahee-skhrol-og-ee'-ah) and means vile conversation.

Webster's defines "vile" as (1) morally despicable or abhorrent, (2) physically repulsive; viz: foul and/or odious, (3) of little worth or account; viz: common, vulgar, (4) tending to degrade, demean, and/or denigrate, (5) disgustingly and/or utterly bad; viz: obnoxious, contemptible, unacceptable, disagreeable, and (6) base; viz: crude, churlish, and/or unrefined.
_

 

[WebersHome]

.
• Col 3:9-10 . . Do not lie to each other since you have taken off your old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator.

NOTE: It's interesting that the Colossian believers were lying to each other, and no doubt would have continued had not Paul commanded them to stop it.

Humanity's original self began its created existence in the image of God (Gen 1:26-27). In other words; Adam started off as an honest man. Clearly then; dishonesty does not reflect the image of God, rather, it projects humanity's own image.

Humanity's original self wasn't created bullet-proof, so to speak. It was corruptible (Eph 4:22). Were that not true, we'd all be honest men rather than a pack of liars, deceivers, beguilers, and dissemblers.

The Greek word for "renewed" is anakainoo (an-ak-ahee-no'-o) which means: to renovate; defined by Webster's defines as: (1) to restore to a former better state (as by cleaning, repairing, or rebuilding), and (2) to restore to life, vigor, or activity, i.e. revive. In other words: regenerate.

That word anakainoo appears in only one other place in the entire New Testament at 2Cor 4:16, which says:

"Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day."

Quite a few elderly Christians, with years of life and personal experience under their belts, can attest to the truth of Col 3:10 and 2Cor 4:16.

This relates to one of the tragedies of Hell. People down there never gave God an opportunity to overhaul their spiritual condition; so now they're no better as persons in the afterlife than they were in this life. After all is said and done-- the big judgment of Rev 20:11-15 is completed, and the new cosmos of Rev 21:1 is up and running --Christ caps everything by announcing:

"Let him who does wrong continue to do wrong; let him who is vile continue to be vile." (Rev 22:10)

In other words: bad people who end up in the ultimate Hell will remain just as bad there as they were here.
_

 

[WebersHome]

.
• Col 3:12 . .Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.

Apparently the Colossian believers were neither compassionate, nor kind, nor humble, nor gentle, nor patient; and would have continued to be that way had not the apostle Paul spoken up.

His basis was the Colossians' standing as "God's chosen people, holy and dearly beloved" I mean: is it appropriate for people in that kind of a relationship with God to behave like devils?

You know; judging from the descriptions of some of the first century churches, I get the impression that were we to go back in time to visit one, we'd be walking into a snake pit!
_

 

[WebersHome]

.
• Col 3:13-14 . . Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as The Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.

One of The Lord's constant rubs with his religious opponents was their virtually 100% lack of compassion; which effectively invalidated their rituals.

"Go and learn what this means: I desire mercy and not sacrifice." (Matt 9:13)

Some folk honestly believe that Christ's statement, taken from Hosea 6:6, practically repealed the entire God-given book of Leviticus. But that's not what either Hosea or Jesus were saying. They meant that God much prefers that people be civil to each other rather than religious to their fingertips.

In other words; an ungracious person's lack of things like sympathy, patience, tolerance, lenience, helpfulness, pity, and common courtesy causes God to reject their worship just as thoroughly and bluntly as He rejected Cain's. I really think that God is insulted when people lacking humanity come to church actually thinking He's glad to see them show up for some quality time together.
_

 

[WebersHome]

.
• Col 3:18 . .Wives, submit to your husband, as is fitting in The Lord.

NOTE: Here's a new word for your vocabulary: Womxn. You know what that is? It's the latest desperate attempt by man-hating women to avoid identifying themselves with men in every way possible. I suppose they'll next revise the spelling of their gender to look like this: femxle.

The word "submit" raises a lot of unnecessary hackles when it isn't referring to a pecking order. What it's referring to is just the opposite of defiant, stubborn, uncooperative, domineering women. Especially wives that tend to marginalize their husbands in everything.

For example: there was a wife in one of my Sunday school classes who made up her mind to go back to school and work towards a degree regardless of how her husband felt about it. She actually had the chutzpah to announce her intentions in class while her husband sat there in silence with his head down in utter shame and embarrassment.

Anyway: in a nutshell; the submission we're talking about here is related to a Christian husband's position in the home rather than his gender in the marriage.

For example; we ought to respect senior citizens not because they themselves have done anything to earn it, rather, because it's a respect that their age deserves. (cf. Lev 9:32)

Back when Queen Elizabeth Second became monarch, her husband Philip felt humiliated to have to kneel to his own wife till she explained to him that he wouldn't be kneeling to her, rather, to the crown.

In other words: it's the position that deserves the respect rather than the person in it. So, Christian wives ought to give their husbands the respect due to his position in the home rather than the blokes they are.

"Wives, submit to your husbands as to The Lord." (Eph 5:22)

In other words: if it's unchristian to be assertive and confrontational with Christ, then we ought to agree that it's unchristian to be assertive and confrontational with one's husband too.

That's a pretty tall order for Christian wives in a modern culture that constantly pressures them to be strong and masculine rather than soft and feminine; to be superiors rather than subordinates; and to be assertive, confrontational, and defiant rather than reasonable, peaceable, and cooperative.
_

 

[WebersHome]

.
• Col 3:19 . . Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.

The Greek verb translated "love" is agapao (ag-ap-ah'-o) which doesn't necessarily imply either affection and/or fondness. It's more about civility than emotion. This is the kind of love that we extend to everyone-- friend, foe, and stranger alike--regardless of how we might feel about them. It's the very same love that Jesus taught in Matt 5:44 which reads:

"You have heard that it was said: You shall love your neighbor, and hate your enemy. But I say to you, love your enemies,"

In other words; you don't especially have to like your enemies, but you do have to be civil with them, i.e. courteous, kind, charitable, tolerant, patient, diplomatic, tactful, gentle, reasonable, fair, deferent, approachable, cordial, genial, affable, sociable, helpful, thoughtful, sympathetic, considerate, and cooperative, etc.

I readily admit the difficulty of being nice to people who rub us the wrong way; but still, Christian men whose marriages resemble an on-going cold war would greatly ease the tensions in their homes, and make the situation bearable for both sides of the bed, were they to simply practice agapao.

"Harsh" can be exemplified any number of ways.

Abrasive
Abusive
Critical
Unfriendly
Uncivil
Rough
Oppressive
Cruel
Hostile
Loud
Demanding
Laying Down The Law
Intolerant
Impatient
Insensitive
Unyielding
Fault Finding
Public Scolding
Nit Picking
Mockery
Marginalizing
Remarks About Her Appearance
Penny Pinching
Money Rationing
Giving Her No Say In Important Decisions

Those behaviors are very effective at making a Christian wife's existence bitter, i.e. a living hell; especially a Christian wife who's making an honest effort to comply with Col 3:18.
_

 

[WebersHome]

.
• Col 3:21 . . Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.

The Greek word translated "discouraged" is athumeo (ath-oo-meh'-o) which has to do with breaking the spirit. Really bad cases of athumeo can cause a child to lose the will to excel; sometimes even the will to live, i.e. suicidal.
_

 

[WebersHome]

.
• Col 4:1 . . Masters, provide your slaves with what is right and fair, because you know that you also have a Master in heaven.

I have yet to find a passage in the Bible condemning slavery as a moral evil. I'm not saying that such a passage doesn't exist; only that in my 52 years as an ongoing Bible student via sermons, books, seminars, lectures, Sunday school classes, radio programs, and personal study, I've yet to run across one. The Bible's primary issue with slavery is the treatment of slaves.

The master in heaven is providential. In other words: Christian masters have a sacred obligation to house their slaves in decent accommodations, clothe them with adequate garments, and nourish them with good food too because slave masters are a father to the souls in their house; they depend on him to care for them; there's no one else; and according to Gen 1:26-28 and Matt 12:11-12, people deserve to be treated better than an animal.

Whether the above rule should be taken to apply in normal labor relations can be disputed, but in my judicious estimation; Christian employers really ought to pay their workers a living wage-- augmented with timely adjustments for inflation --rather than just paying them the least they can in order to keep profits up and overhead down. Just saying.
_

 

[WebersHome]

.
• Col 4:6 . . Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt

Grace can be defined as kind, courteous, gentle, patient, lenient, inclined to good will, generous, charitable, altruistic, compassionate, sympathetic, thoughtful, cordial, affable, genial, sociable, cheerful, warm, sensitive, hospitable, considerate, and tactful.

It seems to me from the language and grammar of Matt 5:13, Mark 9:50, and Luke 14:34 that the primary purpose of salt is to enhance flavor and make otherwise naturally insipid and/or bad-tasting things palatable, viz: salt can be thought of as diplomacy; roughly defined as conversation that makes an effort to maintain peace rather than provoke conflict and/or annoy people and make them uncomfortable.
_

 

[WebersHome]

.
• 1Thess 4:18 . . Encourage each other with these words.

Below are the words to which Paul referred

"Brothers, we do not want you to be ignorant about those who fall asleep, or to grieve like the rest of men, who have no hope. We believe that Jesus died and rose again and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him. According to The Lord's own word, we tell you that we who are still alive, who are left till the coming of The Lord, will certainly not precede those who have fallen asleep.

. . . For The Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet The Lord in the air. And so we will be with The Lord forever." (1Thess 4:13-17)

In other words: when non Christians and such lose a non Christian loved one, the loss is assumed permanent; but when Christians lose a Christian loved one, the loss is presumed temporary.
_

 

[WebersHome]

.
• 1Thess 5:11 . . Encourage one another, and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.

Building up is just the opposite of tearing down. Christians in Galatia were busy doing just that.

"But if you bite and devour one another, take heed that you be not consumed one of another!" (Gal 5:15)

Biting and devouring one another describes cannibals and carnivorous beasts.
_

 

[WebersHome]

.
• 1Thess 5:12-13a . . Now we ask you, brothers, to respect those who work hard among you, who are over you in The Lord and who admonish you. Hold them in the highest regard in love because of their work.

I would say that if the officers in your church are just too impossible for you to respect then it's time to abandon ship. Don't mutiny though because mutiny is just as much a sin as heresy. The rank and file aren't called to reform church officers; but to cooperate with them. (Heb 13:17}

If they can't cooperate with them; then I sincerely believe the rank and file should leave and find a church where they can because Christ isn't pleased with grudging cooperation; rather, with whole-hearted cooperation. (cf. Mark 12:30)
_

 

[WebersHome]

.
• 1Thess 5:13b . . Live in peace with each other.

In this instance, "each other" probably refers to fellow believers.

The category of peace Paul is talking about is social; viz: harmony in personal relations. The Hippies and the peace-nics failed to achieve peace primarily because they couldn't be civil among themselves unless they were high on mood-altering drugs.

Peace can be defined as: calm, pacific, tranquil, at rest, quiet, and free of trouble and strife.

A lack of peace is characterized by war, quarrelling, debating, vendettas, hostility, grudging, fault finding, nit picking, chafing, competition, rivalry, cold shouldering, factions, taking sides, cliques, hostility, militancy, disorder, antagonism, fighting, conflict, struggles, et al.

NOTE: Never assume that everyone you meet in church is a fellow believer. Going to church on Sunday is just what some people do, and probably have done ever since they were kids. There was a time when going to church on Sunday was considered good citizenship; and quite a few people were there for no other reason; i.e. church sort of fills out their social résumé. And then some people attend church because they're lonely and wanting to meet some new friends; etc, etc, etc, etc.
_

 

[WebersHome]

.
• 1Thess 5:14b . . Comfort the discouraged

A discouraged person is someone who's given up all expectation that a situation will improve or change; viz: despairing.

In order to obey that directive, it's necessary to become personal with the people with whom you attend church. Too many Christians are like little islands of humanity in church. They warm a pew on Sunday morning and then get up and leave without bothering to spend even one minute mingling. They don't attend Sunday school because in Sunday school you meet people-- you associate with them; you get to know them, and they get to know you.

As disagreeable as that might be for private types of Christians, Sunday school is the best place in church to go for sympathy, for encouragement, and for support. Unfortunately, not many Christians are comfortable with negativity; and tend to distance themselves from people down in the dumps.

Canadian folk singer Gordon Lightfoot released a sentimental song back in 1975 that speaks volumes about sympathy. Its lyrics are very touching. Here's a few that we feel especially appropriate.

Rainy day people always seem to know when it's time to call.
Rainy day people don't talk, they just listen till they've heard it all.
Rainy day lovers don't lie when they tell 'ya they've been down like you.
Rainy day people don't mind if you're cryin' a tear or two.

NOTE: In Dr. Laura Schlessinger's book "Ten Stupid Things That Men Do To Mess Up Their Lives" she lists their propensity to fix things. In other words: instead of simply lending a sympathetic ear to people's problems, some men tend to see people with problems as "broken" and in need of repair-- i.e. damaged --and then of course they take the initiative to begin offering unsolicited remedies. No; the idea is to console the discouraged rather than talk them out of their low state of mind.

FYI: There're quite a few sites online offering lists of Sympathy Do's and Don'ts that are pretty easy to find with a simple "Google" search.
_