The Christian Inferiority Complex

Duke of Stratford

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How do you stop comparing yourself to other Christians?

I definitely commend the on-fire-every-moment sorts of people; I think a faith that burns bright like that is so, so amazing. But it’s hard not to get discouraged when you see people on social media who journal all the time, who read Christian books every week, who have amazing prayer lives, who seem so confident in their relationship with God all the time. I know they’re not perfect, and many of them are genuinely honest about their struggles. Even so, I can’t help but feel guilty. I’m just...not like that. Or I’m in a different place. I know this is a journey, and different people have different-looking walks. It’s so easy to fall into the “I’m not crazy on-fire like them, so I must be lukewarm” mindset.

How do you break free from that?
 

2PhiloVoid

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How do you stop comparing yourself to other Christians?

I definitely commend the on-fire-every-moment sorts of people; I think a faith that burns bright like that is so, so amazing.

Who's on fire every moment ... !!! ??? Where !!! ??? ^_^


But it’s hard not to get discouraged when you see people on social media who journal all the time, who read Christian books every week, who have amazing prayer lives, who seem so confident in their relationship with God all the time. I know they’re not perfect, and many of them are genuinely honest about their struggles. Even so, I can’t help but feel guilty. I’m just...not like that. Or I’m in a different place. I know this is a journey, and different people have different-looking walks. It’s so easy to fall into the “I’m not crazy on-fire like them, so I must be lukewarm” mindset.

How do you break free from that?
First off, I'd put a stop to some of this by freeing yourself of the expectations that some evangelicals foist upon other Christians by measuring just "how much fire they are in the Lord." This measure isn't always scriptural or objective.

Secondly, the term 'Lukewarm' has more to do with adulterating one's faith by being devoted to Mammon and such and then thinking, at the same time, that all that 'stuff' is in all necessity given by God. Being lukewarm is kind of like winning a trip to Las Vegas and then, upon arrival there, thanking Him for the opportunity to frolic in a place devoted to..................well, you know. 'Stuff.'

I doubt this is the problem you're having.

Third. Focus on the fact that to some extent our walk of faith really is a journey, one in which not everything is, or is meant to be, discernible or enjoyable. So, if in the process of undertaking the journey, some of the road that is traveled isn't so scenic or appealing or wonderful, don't feel bad that you're not "crazy on-fire" like some other Christians you might know.

That's my two cents, but feel free to ply me with questions if some of the things I've said aren't clear. (I'm notorious for a lack of clarity ... ^_^)
 
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Hammster

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The good thing is that you notice it and see it as an issue. The only one we should compare ourselves to is Jesus. And we all fall tremendously short, even those who you see who look like they are doing great. And honestly, if they are doing great, and it’s not an act, then they know that they, too, fall short.

So my advice is that you discipline yourself to not compare yourself to them. The one in charge of your sanctification is Jesus. He’s responsible for your growth.

It’s not a bad thing to be disciplined. Spending time in the word is really a necessity. But there’s no set time limit. And there’s no set time limit for prayer. But the more you do either, the more you’ll want to do more. But don’t ever feel like you don’t measure up because none of us do. ;)
 
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Chris V++

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How do you stop comparing yourself to other Christians?

I definitely commend the on-fire-every-moment sorts of people; I think a faith that burns bright like that is so, so amazing. But it’s hard not to get discouraged when you see people on social media who journal all the time, who read Christian books every week, who have amazing prayer lives, who seem so confident in their relationship with God all the time. I know they’re not perfect, and many of them are genuinely honest about their struggles. Even so, I can’t help but feel guilty. I’m just...not like that. Or I’m in a different place. I know this is a journey, and different people have different-looking walks. It’s so easy to fall into the “I’m not crazy on-fire like them, so I must be lukewarm” mindset.

How do you break free from that?
You should try being related to my brother. Twice a year mission trips to help set up medical camps at his own expense to places like El Salvador.

I tell myself for what it's worth, God didn't activate Moses till he was 80ish.
 
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public hermit

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How do you stop comparing yourself to other Christians?

I definitely commend the on-fire-every-moment sorts of people; I think a faith that burns bright like that is so, so amazing. But it’s hard not to get discouraged when you see people on social media who journal all the time, who read Christian books every week, who have amazing prayer lives, who seem so confident in their relationship with God all the time. I know they’re not perfect, and many of them are genuinely honest about their struggles. Even so, I can’t help but feel guilty. I’m just...not like that. Or I’m in a different place. I know this is a journey, and different people have different-looking walks. It’s so easy to fall into the “I’m not crazy on-fire like them, so I must be lukewarm” mindset.

How do you break free from that?

People have different temperaments. The on-fire/lukewarm dichotomy can look like the extrovert/introvert distinction. But, that can't be right, can it? Only extroverts truly love Jesus? I think not. Be kind to yourself. God loves you. So, just do you.
 
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Citizen of the Kingdom

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For me personally, just understanding that even Christians can be prone to desiring social status to the point of willful deception too.

I remember going on a stupidly right winged Bible prophecy forum that made a topic about Christians who still engage in willful sin. Everyone there was talking about how awful this was and all that. It gave off vibes that they were immune to it but if you study psychology, you find that these people may very well be trying to take the negative attention off of themselves and project it onto others. It's a similar mindset of the Pharisees.

A personal incident was at a Pentecostal tent meeting revival. We were told by the preacher to close our eyes and try to see a vision. Afterwards, we were asked who didn't see a vision and I was the only one who raised my hand. It was embarrassing at the time but now that I think about it, I'm willing to bet at least half of them were lying to avoid the embarrassment of not being spiritual enough to experience the supernatural.

Point is, even Christians are concerned with their own social standing among their peers and will try project a glittering facade to maintain that. As my grandmother would say, "Believe half of what you see and nothing of what you hear."
That’s true. I’ve been to Pentecostal meetings where the church kids were practising their lyrical tongues, but I’ve never seen an adult instructing another adult to do things of that sort. Teaching was done in skits for the younger kids and everyone played a musical instrument that was considered platform workers. I couldn’t ever be one of them because of the choice to watch TV. But being an audience member wasn’t a bad thing either. It was actually a lot of fun. One skit was about everyone getting saved off Giligan’s island. Anyway, anyone that looks for all bad is sure to find it too.
 
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Michie

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Every Christian has their gifts and weaknesses. We all have our peaks and valleys. What you see is not always what’s really happening. It’s unhealthy to compare yourself to others overall. Let alone the Faith. We are all in different points in our journey. You should just see them as inspiring or edifying but as I’ve stated before, it is not a contest.
 
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Junia

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The biggest reasons why I don't like lying is because for one, I don't want to have to maintain a web of lies for social approval. I do have a good memory but it's not unlimited and is downright exhausting. Second, as soon as it's time to display the abilities I claim to have, I'll quickly be exposed as a fraud and lose any and all credibility I had. God is not a fan of fake-it-till-you-make-it nonsense and will withhold actual spiritual gifts from those who would be untrustworthy like that.

I must admit i was instructed to speak in tongues. they prayed for me to have it and i was told to open my mouth and just let anything come out. yet my tongues must be genuine because things have happened when i pray in tongues and i often use it as a wya of speaking to God when i cant find the words. i guess if God wanted me to have that gift at that time, HE would give it regardless, and obviously He msut have, in my case as i still use tongues today.
 
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I must admit i was instructed to speak in tongues. they prayed for me to have it and i was told to open my mouth and just let anything come out. yet my tongues must be genuine because things have happened when i pray in tongues and i often use it as a wya of speaking to God when i cant find the words. i guess if God wanted me to have that gift at that time, HE would give it regardless, and obviously He msut have, in my case as i still use tongues today.
The language of the heart sensing God is the same thing really, whether in silent prayer or praise.
 
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Junia

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The language of the heart sensing God is the same thing really, whether in silent prayer or praise.

yes it cetainly feels that way when i prophesy or somtimes when i pray. i thik it is easy to get too prescriptive about techniques. If God wants you to have a certain gift, He won;t let a wrong method stop it. of course we are to do things the right way but none of us are perfect and am so glad God does not withold gifts based on our performance or our ignorance/lack of understanding. i believe lack of faith is the only thing that can block a gift and even then i believe God is more powerful than our inadequacies
 
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Every Christian has their gifts and weaknesses. We all have our peaks and valleys. What you see is not always what’s really happening. It’s unhealthy to compare yourself to others overall. Let alone the Faith. We are all in different points in our journey. You should just see them as inspiring or edifying but as I’ve stated before, it is not a contest.
What you see is not always what is really happening?
 
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Michie

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What you see is not always what is really happening?
Not internally. I know when I was going to the nursing homes, etc. I was struggling but you could not tell it by my outward actions.
 
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Junia

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How do you stop comparing yourself to other Christians?

I definitely commend the on-fire-every-moment sorts of people; I think a faith that burns bright like that is so, so amazing. But it’s hard not to get discouraged when you see people on social media who journal all the time, who read Christian books every week, who have amazing prayer lives, who seem so confident in their relationship with God all the time. I know they’re not perfect, and many of them are genuinely honest about their struggles. Even so, I can’t help but feel guilty. I’m just...not like that. Or I’m in a different place. I know this is a journey, and different people have different-looking walks. It’s so easy to fall into the “I’m not crazy on-fire like them, so I must be lukewarm” mindset.

How do you break free from that?

I relate to this a lot. both my sister and i grew up in vr difficult circumstances, and yes, y sister has had her scars from that, but when it comes to God, my sister hads always been the one with the strong faith and a blazing red hot love for Jesus.

i want to be like that and sometimes for a short season, i manage it, but my sister seems to be very stable in her faith generally. i myself struggle massively with coinsistency and tend to be prone to impulses, moods, weird ideas etc that mean am not always on track like she is

I lov emy sister dearly but sometimes i feel a bit anxious around her because she loves Jesus so much and He flows from her all the time. me, I am definitelya committed believer but my sister sometimes says i am too worldy because i can talk about other things and spend my time doing secular type things but my sister talks about Jesus constanlty. her faith is genuine as well, she isn't faking it!!1 wish i could be like her
 
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Citizen of the Kingdom

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Not internally. I know when I was going to the nursing homes, etc. I was struggling but you could not tell it by my outward actions.
When outer conditions do not meet inner condition ...
In the region rooted in inner being, He is still subduing His enemies and conducting His mysterious education.
 
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Michie

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When outer conditions do not meet inner condition ...
In the region rooted in inner being, He is still subduing His enemies and conducting His mysterious education.
I call them growing pains.
 
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Junia

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Having said the above, I do believe that i do serve God in my own way- to me i seem to serve God in ways that are quite practical eg i see a need and God helps me meet it if i can. whereas my sister spends a lot of time at feet of Jesus. now i do believe, in my case, that i need to so more of that- i tend to be more a Martha than a Mary. maybe the key is that my sister spenda a LOT of time with Jesus.

also i sometimes struggle with intimacy with Jesus because i battle a lot of fear and shame yes, my sister and i both went through the same hellish childhood experiences, more or less, and yes, she has her issues too, but for me, trust has been particularly hard, as i tend to be more anxious. and as an adult i put myself ina lot of self destructive situations, so i have had more isn to deal with.

my sister gave her heart to Jesus as a small child. me, i was a small child sitting in sunday school feelijg confused and bitter and believing Jesus hated me because i knew deep down i had a lot of darkness in my soul, a lot f bitterness. my sister was no less wounded but she seemed a more innocent, sunny natured person than me. just a question of personality- i was a stormy intense child form the word go, my sister sensitive too but not as up anjd down as i was. later on as we became teenagers, my sister suffered depression and i believe some post trauma symptoms as well, whereas i ended up with borderline personality disorder, extreme trauma reactions, a lot of acting out behaviour (some of it rooted in sin but at same time more thna that, i feel). she was the good girl who was meek and knew how to toe the line, me i was often timid and fearful but also rigid, moody and restless and bored easily. so yeah, temperamnet may playa part. i do thnk that though we all sin, some of us are easily led more, and i woudl describe mysefl as the one who would easily fall into worng behaviour. i think y sister's faith had a lot to do with the fact that even as a child, she had the fruit of goodness and self control . me, i took longer to get that.
 
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Lukaris

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I am happy for those who have many spiritual blessings while realizing I have issues to deal with. The Lord provided me with a conscience ( Acts of the Apostles 14:16-17, Romans 2 etc.) even before I knew Him. I still need this conscience to live by ( Romans 13), to be accountable ( Romans 11:22-23), & try to be fruitful ( Ephesians 2:8-10).
 
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