The Christian Inferiority Complex

Richard T

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I think that this scripture is one of the most relevant on this subject. Paul did not judge himself, I am not sure why you are. We are all one in Christ, all the members are important. That you might feel less adequate is not what God intended. Keep your eyes on Jesus, and don't worry what others are doing. Remember too that there are seasons, so as long as you are trying to follow God's will and moving forward, then you do give glory to God.
1 Corinthians 4:3-5 (KJV)

3 But with me it is a very small thing that I should be judged of you, or of man's judgment: yea, I judge not mine own self.
4 For I know nothing by myself; yet am I not hereby justified: but he that judgeth me is the Lord.
5 Therefore judge nothing before the time, until the Lord come, who both will bring to light the hidden things of darkness, and will make manifest the counsels of the hearts: and then shall every man have praise of God.
 
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bèlla

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For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ. —Galatians 1:10

I am interested in fulling my God-given purpose. I focus on the task He's called me to perform. Not my neighbor's. He's fashioned me for a specific goal. Not yours or someone else's. If I'm looking elsewhere I'm not focusing Him. I'm distracted. Discontent and coveting begin at that point.

Comparison is fruitless. You can never be that person. You don't have their makeup, experiences, or gifting. No amount of copying will give you the same results. It's a waste of time.

I know many Christians who use social media for business or to minister to others. Yet some perceive otherwise. They don't see Christ in their actions or consider the people they're reaching and drawing to the Lord. They focus on the material or differences. Comparisons in disguise. He uses many avenues to bring us home. Even social media.

God said we're fearfully and wonderfully made. Until you believe it you'll never have peace or develop contentment. Accept yourself.

~Bella
 
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dqhall

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In 2 Corinthians Paul did not boast of the usual things people brag about. He boasted of his trials and sufferings. How many have done much with few possessions? It is an accomplishment if one carries on to instruct others in forgiveness.

2 Corinthians 11:16 (WEB) I say again, let no one think me foolish. But if so, yet receive me as foolish, that I also may boast a little. 17 That which I speak, I don’t speak according to the Lord, but as in foolishness, in this confidence of boasting. 18 Seeing that many boast after the flesh, I will also boast. 19 For you bear with the foolish gladly, being wise. 20 For you bear with a man if he brings you into bondage, if he devours you, if he takes you captive, if he exalts himself, or if he strikes you on the face. 21 I speak by way of disparagement, as though we had been weak. Yet in whatever way anyone is bold (I speak in foolishness), I am bold also. 22 Are they Hebrews? So am I. Are they Israelites? So am I. Are they the offspring of Abraham? So am I. 23 Are they servants of Christ? (I speak as one beside himself.) I am more so: in labors more abundantly, in prisons more abundantly, in stripes above measure, and in deaths often. 24 Five times I received forty stripes minus one from the Jews. 25 Three times I was beaten with rods. Once I was stoned. Three times I suffered shipwreck. I have been a night and a day in the deep. 26 I have been in travels often, perils of rivers, perils of robbers, perils from my countrymen, perils from the Gentiles, perils in the city, perils in the wilderness, perils in the sea, perils among false brothers; 27 in labor and travail, in watchings often, in hunger and thirst, in fastings often, and in cold and nakedness.
 
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eleos1954

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How do you stop comparing yourself to other Christians?

I definitely commend the on-fire-every-moment sorts of people; I think a faith that burns bright like that is so, so amazing. But it’s hard not to get discouraged when you see people on social media who journal all the time, who read Christian books every week, who have amazing prayer lives, who seem so confident in their relationship with God all the time. I know they’re not perfect, and many of them are genuinely honest about their struggles. Even so, I can’t help but feel guilty. I’m just...not like that. Or I’m in a different place. I know this is a journey, and different people have different-looking walks. It’s so easy to fall into the “I’m not crazy on-fire like them, so I must be lukewarm” mindset.

How do you break free from that?

Each have an individual relationship with the Lord .... are you comfortable with the relationship you have with HIM? Don't compare yourself with others ... concentrate on your personal relationship with the Lord ... walk with Him .... everything else that's going on doesn't really matter.
 
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How do you stop comparing yourself to other Christians? I definitely commend the on-fire-every-moment sorts of people; I think a faith that burns bright like that is so, so amazing. But it’s hard not to get discouraged when you see people on social media who journal all the time, who read Christian books every week, who have amazing prayer lives, who seem so confident in their relationship with God all the time. I know they’re not perfect, and many of them are genuinely honest about their struggles. Even so, I can’t help but feel guilty. I’m just...not like that. Or I’m in a different place. I know this is a journey, and different people have different-looking walks. It’s so easy to fall into the “I’m not crazy on-fire like them, so I must be lukewarm” mindset. How do you break free from that?

WHY ARE YOU COMPARING YOURSELF TO OTHER "CHRISTIANS"? YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE CHRISTLIKE NOT CHRISTIAN-LIKE! PLUS, HOW DO YOU KNOW FOR SURE THESE PEOPLE YOU DESCRIBE ARE TRUE BELIEVERS? IF THEY ARE DOING ALL THAT ON SOCIAL MEDIA THEY ARE DOING IT FOR ATTENTION. THEY ARE SAYING "LOOK AT ME, LOOK AT ME!! I'M SUCH A GOOD CHRISTIAN. GOD SHOULD BE GLAD TO HAVE ME!". SUCH BEHAVIOR COMES FROM A SUPERIORITY COMPLEX. IT IS THE BEHAVIOR OF A PHARISEE.

Seven Woes to the Scribes and Pharisees
Then Jesus said to the crowds and to his disciples, “The scribes and the Pharisees sit on Moses' seat, so do and observe whatever they tell you, but not the works they do. For they preach, but do not practice. They tie up heavy burdens, hard to bear, and lay them on people's shoulders, but they themselves are not willing to move them with their finger. They do all their deeds to be seen by others. For they make their phylacteries broad and their fringes long, and they love the place of honor at feasts and the best seats in the synagogues and greetings in the marketplaces and being called rabbi by others. But you are not to be called rabbi, for you have one teacher, and you are all brothers. And call no man your father on earth, for you have one Father, who is in heaven. Neither be called instructors, for you have one instructor, the Christ. The greatest among you shall be your servant. Whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted.

“But woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you shut the kingdom of heaven in people's faces. For you neither enter yourselves nor allow those who would enter to go in. Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you travel across sea and land to make a single proselyte, and when he becomes a proselyte, you make him twice as much a child of hell as yourselves.

“Woe to you, blind guides, who say, ‘If anyone swears by the temple, it is nothing, but if anyone swears by the gold of the temple, he is bound by his oath.’ You blind fools! For which is greater, the gold or the temple that has made the gold sacred? And you say, ‘If anyone swears by the altar, it is nothing, but if anyone swears by the gift that is on the altar, he is bound by his oath.’ You blind men! For which is greater, the gift or the altar that makes the gift sacred? So whoever swears by the altar swears by it and by everything on it. And whoever swears by the temple swears by it and by him who dwells in it. And whoever swears by heaven swears by the throne of God and by him who sits upon it.

“Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you tithe mint and dill and cumin, and have neglected the weightier matters of the law: justice and mercy and faithfulness. These you ought to have done, without neglecting the others. You blind guides, straining out a gnat and swallowing a camel!

“Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you clean the outside of the cup and the plate, but inside they are full of greed and self-indulgence. You blind Pharisee! First clean the inside of the cup and the plate, that the outside also may be clean.

“Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you are like whitewashed tombs, which outwardly appear beautiful, but within are full of dead people's bones and all uncleanness. So you also outwardly appear righteous to others, but within you are full of hypocrisy and lawlessness.

“Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you build the tombs of the prophets and decorate the monuments of the righteous, saying, ‘If we had lived in the days of our fathers, we would not have taken part with them in shedding the blood of the prophets.’ Thus you witness against yourselves that you are sons of those who murdered the prophets. Fill up, then, the measure of your fathers. You serpents, you brood of vipers, how are you to escape being sentenced to hell? Therefore I send you prophets and wise men and scribes, some of whom you will kill and crucify, and some you will flog in your synagogues and persecute from town to town, so that on you may come all the righteous blood shed on earth, from the blood of righteous Abel to the blood of Zechariah the son of Barachiah, whom you murdered between the sanctuary and the altar. Truly, I say to you, all these things will come upon this generation.
 
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angelsaroundme

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"There are different kinds of gifts, but the same Spirit distributes them. There are different kinds of service, but the same Lord. There are different kinds of working, but in all of them and in everyone it is the same God at work."

"All these are the work of one and the same Spirit, and he distributes them to each one, just as he determines." - 1 Corinthians 12:4-6, 11

Each one of us is unique and have our own God given talents to use to serve God and the world. One is great at writing, another is musically gifted, another might use their hands like a builder or cut down trees for people, my aunt has had multiple charities help her with trees lately, another is great at parenting, or teaching, or comforting others, and so on. We all have our own purpose to fulfill. The following is a Jewish story but it demonstrates the point well.

A rabbi named Zusya died and went to stand before the judgment seat of God. As he waited for God to appear, he grew nervous thinking about his life and how little he had done. He began to imagine that God was going to ask him "Why weren't you Moses or why weren't you Solomon or why weren't you David?" But when God appeared, the rabbi was surprised. God simply asked, "Why weren't you Zusya?"
 
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mindlight

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How do you stop comparing yourself to other Christians?

I definitely commend the on-fire-every-moment sorts of people; I think a faith that burns bright like that is so, so amazing. But it’s hard not to get discouraged when you see people on social media who journal all the time, who read Christian books every week, who have amazing prayer lives, who seem so confident in their relationship with God all the time. I know they’re not perfect, and many of them are genuinely honest about their struggles. Even so, I can’t help but feel guilty. I’m just...not like that. Or I’m in a different place. I know this is a journey, and different people have different-looking walks. It’s so easy to fall into the “I’m not crazy on-fire like them, so I must be lukewarm” mindset.

How do you break free from that?

Forget how you feel about so called super Christians. What are you going to do with your life? It is your choices not theres that God will measure you by.
 
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Duke of Stratford

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WOW, this got a lot more traffic than I thought it would. Thanks for the advice, everyone!

I wanted to clarify something: I'm not talking about the flashy bloggers who are obviously doing Christian stuff online for attention. The folks I'm talking about are people who are sharing their walks and trying to help others. I just have trouble feeling like I'm failing because I don't feel as dedicated or spiritually mature. A lot of them are my age (or even younger), which can get kind of discouraging. It's hard to feel confident in your walk with God when everyone seems to be confident in the way they do things--and when their ways are different from your own.

But I'm going to try to keep focusing on the fact that I'm myself and not them. I know I have a lot of room to grow, but not looking like someone else doesn't mean I'm failing. Maybe I'm not the person those specific people are meant to reach, and maybe I can reach people in a way unique to my own experience.

Thanks again. God bless!
 
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Citizen of the Kingdom

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WOW, this got a lot more traffic than I thought it would. Thanks for the advice, everyone!

I wanted to clarify something: I'm not talking about the flashy bloggers who are obviously doing Christian stuff online for attention. The folks I'm talking about are people who are sharing their walks and trying to help others. I just have trouble feeling like I'm failing because I don't feel as dedicated or spiritually mature. A lot of them are my age (or even younger), which can get kind of discouraging. It's hard to feel confident in your walk with God when everyone seems to be confident in the way they do things--and when their ways are different from your own.

But I'm going to try to keep focusing on the fact that I'm myself and not them. I know I have a lot of room to grow, but not looking like someone else doesn't mean I'm failing. Maybe I'm not the person those specific people are meant to reach, and maybe I can reach people in a way unique to my own experience.

Thanks again. God bless!
Our Father is confidence. Walk in that. And that’s as individualistic as there are His children.

God bless you too!
 
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Hazelelponi

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I know this is a journey, and different people have different-looking walks. It’s so easy to fall into the “I’m not crazy on-fire like them, so I must be lukewarm” mindset.

How do you break free from that?


By comparing yourself to you... not others.

I was thinking once that my walk might not be so fruit bearing and so I asked my husband one day, and he said this:

"Well, your not praying in the direction of Mecca anymore"

Haha.. which is true.

The "proof" for yourself that your truly a saved Christian might just be in the little things and not the big things... it might be that you pray now, attend church, have a change of heart toward sin and God.

You may struggle at times, but you will overcome. Your young, you have many years ahead of you to grow in the faith, and it won't always look the same from one year to the next.
 
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Swag365

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How do you stop comparing yourself to other Christians?

I definitely commend the on-fire-every-moment sorts of people; I think a faith that burns bright like that is so, so amazing. But it’s hard not to get discouraged when you see people on social media who journal all the time, who read Christian books every week, who have amazing prayer lives, who seem so confident in their relationship with God all the time. I know they’re not perfect, and many of them are genuinely honest about their struggles. Even so, I can’t help but feel guilty. I’m just...not like that. Or I’m in a different place. I know this is a journey, and different people have different-looking walks. It’s so easy to fall into the “I’m not crazy on-fire like them, so I must be lukewarm” mindset.

How do you break free from that?
Hmm. It is an actual possibility that you are in fact lukewarm is it not? There have been plenty of points when I have been. Could it be that you feel that way because the Lord is calling you to be less lukewarm?

It does not strike me that comparing ourselves to other Christians, or feeling inferior towards them, is always a bad thing.

There is the obvious example of our Lord and the apostles. We are to follow their example and try to emulate them in our own ways.

Then there are other Christians who are objectively running the race better than we are. If I am not treating my wife and children with kindness, as an example, and my neighbor is much better man than I am with respect to those things, I do not necessarily think that that if I feel bad, a sense of guilt, inferior to him with respect to that, that it is a bad thing. Perhaps that is God's way of asking me to do better, by allowing me to feel that way.

I am not saying that applies to you directly but I don't think that striving for perfection and comparing ourselves to other Christians and trying to emulate them is necessarily bad . . .

Just my 2 cents.
 
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Duke of Stratford

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The "proof" for yourself that your truly a saved Christian might just be in the little things and not the big things... it might be that you pray now, attend church, have a change of heart toward sin and God.

You may struggle at times, but you will overcome. Your young, you have many years ahead of you to grow in the faith, and it won't always look the same from one year to the next.

Thanks. This part was particularly helpful to hear. Doubt has been a real stickler lately. It’s always a good reminder that our confidence can sometimes be found in those little things.
 
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Duke of Stratford

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Hmm. It is an actual possibility that you are in fact lukewarm is it not? There have been plenty of points when I have been. Could it be that you feel that way because the Lord is calling you to be less lukewarm?

It does not strike me that comparing ourselves to other Christians, or feeling inferior towards them, is always a bad thing.

There is the obvious example of our Lord and the apostles. We are to follow their example and try to emulate them in our own ways.

Then there are other Christians who are objectively running the race better than we are. If I am not treating my wife and children with kindness, as an example, and my neighbor is much better man than I am with respect to those things, I do not necessarily think that that if I feel bad, a sense of guilt, inferior to him with respect to that, that it is a bad thing. Perhaps that is God's way of asking me to do better, by allowing me to feel that way.

I am not saying that applies to you directly but I don't think that striving for perfection and comparing ourselves to other Christians and trying to emulate them is necessarily bad . . .

Just my 2 cents.

I do agree that there’s definitely a time and place for comparison! It’s an important part of the Christian life to be a light for others, after all. And I know I have a lot to work on. I also know I happen to have a guilt-trap of a brain that loves to get anxious over every shortcoming I have. That’s more of where this is coming from, if that makes sense. It can be hard to find the balance between healthy guilt and harmful guilt. One more thing to work on discerning, I guess.
 
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Bobber

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How do you stop comparing yourself to other Christians?

I definitely commend the on-fire-every-moment sorts of people; I think a faith that burns bright like that is so, so amazing. But it’s hard not to get discouraged when you see people on social media who journal all the time, who read Christian books every week, who have amazing prayer lives, who seem so confident in their relationship with God all the time. I know they’re not perfect, and many of them are genuinely honest about their struggles. Even so, I can’t help but feel guilty. I’m just...not like that. Or I’m in a different place. I know this is a journey, and different people have different-looking walks. It’s so easy to fall into the “I’m not crazy on-fire like them, so I must be lukewarm” mindset.

How do you break free from that?

You make various assumptions here. Here's one that you actually do have to break free from that. No it serves no useful purpose to be under a spirit of condemnation however if you genuinely see that Christian A, B, or C have developed maybe a stronger relationship with God then you then why not let them be to you an inspiration or somewhat of a template in what they do for you to draw closer. And I don't think any of us should fall into the place where we think it's wrong to ask.....am I or have I been lukewarm? Again we don't want to be under a spirit of condemnation.... God doesn't want that but neither does he want us to become complacent.
 
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Citizen of the Kingdom

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I do agree that there’s definitely a time and place for comparison! It’s an important part of the Christian life to be a light for others, after all. And I know I have a lot to work on. I also know I happen to have a guilt-trap of a brain that loves to get anxious over every shortcoming I have. That’s more of where this is coming from, if that makes sense. It can be hard to find the balance between healthy guilt and harmful guilt. One more thing to work on discerning, I guess.
There is no helpful guilt. Guilty conscience is a call to mediation, repentance and a new road embarked on, or more probably a return to where one turned away.
Shame is different from guilt. It doesn’t come from within but is placed upon you from without. That’s a call to forgiveness with understanding and is also wrought out in mediation with the Lord, as that is the office He is presiding in and His function in the church age.

Hebrews 4:14-16 – "Since then we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus, the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathise with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.”

Psalms 46:1-3 – "God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging."
 
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ReesePiece23

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You can never be consciously aware of how others read you - not fully. I've said stuff on here before without really having to think too hard (about anything), and have received DM's saying I had changed someone's life - now, that's an ability >>ALL<< of us have, it doesn't matter how biblically well educated you sound, or how 'with it' you seem, because we all have two ears, two eyes, and a mouth, to send and receive messages through Him.

That, is what really counts. And really, if we were all on a heightened level of love, understanding and faith ALL the time, what would be the point? Like, literally what would be the point? Okay, it might be hysterical for a bit, but we're all here to lend each other a hand when we need it. Not to roll around in happiness all the time.

A lot of people on social media are chasing clout - anyone can look buoyant and unrealistically happy for 20 minutes, it doesn't mean anything. It doesn't count for anything either. Our character is judged on what we do during times of adversity, not in how obnoxious we are at times of celebration.

You're exactly where you need to be - don't worry. You're doing good.
 
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yellowMan

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One thing that may help you here is to realize you can make the same argument about anything in life. Take coffee snobs for example who are always hyped up about and studying coffee.

Change your viewpoint about contagious Christians and try to let them be an encouragement/inspiration to you.

The thing you have to be careful of here is that you don't want to let your insecurities cause you to be guilt-tripped into performing works for God. Our relationship with God should be one based on love, not fear. meaning we should serve Him because we want to not because we have to.
 
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Junia

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I find it helpful to remember that those who light their own fires, end up lying down in torment. (Isaiah 50:11)

Burnout really hurts, if all that self effort comes from adrenalyne rush, you're gonna feel it eventually.

Pace yourself, it's a long journey.

That's me lol! lighting fires all the time!
 
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Junia

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You can never be consciously aware of how others read you - not fully. I've said stuff on here before without really having to think too hard (about anything), and have received DM's saying I had changed someone's life - now, that's an ability >>ALL<< of us have, it doesn't matter how biblically well educated you sound, or how 'with it' you seem, because we all have two ears, two eyes, and a mouth, to send and receive messages through Him.

That, is what really counts. And really, if we were all on a heightened level of love, understanding and faith ALL the time, what would be the point? Like, literally what would be the point? Okay, it might be hysterical for a bit, but we're all here to lend each other a hand when we need it. Not to roll around in happiness all the time.

A lot of people on social media are chasing clout - anyone can look buoyant and unrealistically happy for 20 minutes, it doesn't mean anything. It doesn't count for anything either. Our character is judged on what we do during times of adversity, not in how obnoxious we are at times of celebration.

You're exactly where you need to be - don't worry. You're doing good.


Thank you. i know it was for the OP but siunds like it would help me to take it on board too
 
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