- Apr 25, 2016
- 34,217
- 19,065
- 44
- Country
- Australia
- Faith
- Anglican
- Marital Status
- Married
I already said what the guy did was bad and he should be jailed. I am not sure what else about abuse you want me to say? The abuse part is relatively simplistic, and would have been addressed on the first page. However if you want to deal with marital problems and how to have a successful marriage, then that take a bit more.
What I would like to see from you is a retraction of any suggestion that abuse can be solved with "more sex." "Marital problems and how to have a successful marriage" are off topic to the OP.
so then why did she stay with him? To try and fix him? Because she loved him? Why? Sounds like that was her first mistake was staying with him. If that happens you simply divorce, there is no need to convince someone about your abuse, you take photographs of your bruises, you journal it in a journal, you submit it to police and you divorce. The fact that she went to her pastors at all is sort of wierd. Sounds like a sheparding movement, which has it's own problems.
There are lots of reasons why abused spouses stay. It does sound as if in this situation she listened too much to people in the church who pressured her to stay.
But that was part of the point of this thread; to point out the problem of people in churches who do not understand abuse and who do things like pressure abused spouses to stay.
but the romance is something every relationship NEEDS ABSOLUTELY to function. So if she is not willing to do that, then she should be single.
Romance is not going to fix abuse. Before romance can even be possible, there must be basic safety. Every relationship needs to be safe for everyone in that relationship.
Bringing up romance in response to abuse is not helpful; it suggests that the victim can fix the problem by being more romantic (or giving more sex), and that is false.
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