My ocd is giving me worries

[Kostilaks]

Weeks ago, I ended up having a compulsion not to watch a specific dialogue from a tv episode in youtube.

I do not remember how this compulsion was created. I remember telling myself not to watch this episode again.

Probably, some thoughts without my will popped up about a promise to God, due to frustration or due to anti-ocd.

I cant remember exactly, what these thoughts without my will were or how much scary they were. I do nto remember how strong they were. I cant confirm if they were 100% without my will.

Yesterday, I think, I ended up accidentally, for some seconds watching that scene that contained that dialogue. I freaked and closed it.

I do not remember if the thoughts without my will were about for the whole scene or just for a specific dialogue that I cant remember.

I remember being very worried, when this compulsion was created.

I cant remember if it was really a compulsion or not.

 

[Al Touthentop]

I cant remember exactly, what these thoughts without my will were or how much scary they were. I do nto remember how strong they were. I cant confirm if they were 100% without my will.

I'm not a psychiatrist and I don't play one on TV. However, consider that your thoughts are your thoughts and no one else's. Your thoughts don't make you a bad person or broken. They are just thoughts and you can think different things if you want, even though in some cases this must seem impossible.

For the sake of argument though, even if someone could put a thought in your head against your will, you still have all the power not to act on that thought. Turning off a program isn't going to hurt you so your decision to listen to your thoughts and act on them in that case are not harmful though it may be disturbing to you that you feel so strongly.

You are not your thoughts. You are what you do as a result of thoughts. People think much worse things than you and they ignore those thoughts, put them out of their minds and move on to different thoughts. Mostly these people are non OCD types. You have a harder time than other people. You have this strong desire to act on those thoughts because in general they produce a fear in you that if you don't act on them, some harm might come to you.

You're not a bad person because you have these thoughts. You are just stuck in this place where those thoughts have some power over you. Thoughts are just thoughts though. They don't become alive until you do something in response to them.