- Dec 4, 2019
- 617
- 425
- 30
- Country
- United States
- Gender
- Male
- Faith
- Christian
- Marital Status
- Single
I am scared that I am the Beast of the Earth I see a blue light on the floor and when I close my eyes it says Beast of the Earth and the sun looks strange it glows differently and I have writing on my skin that makes me think it is the real mark of the beast. I thought the mark of the beast wasn't out yet the Yellow Cross claims it gave me the mark but it was a hallucination visually that I could not control being schizophrenic, ocd scrupulosity, pediatric auto immune disorder, Autism it entrapped me and I can't get it out of my head it feels so real and I feel out of my body it tells me that I can't get raptured now and that Satan is in my heart and brain but I love Jesus and asked him into my life. I would never blaspheme the Holy Spirit on purpose can he forgive me if I did blaspheme in the hallucination of the Yellow Cross could the Yellow Cross be right? Did I blaspheme in a hallucination on the shower wall that followed me to the door it was strange and I saw words that said blasphemy and a red light flashed mark of the beast incoming. I think it is just mental illness because people see the Holy Spirit in me and they know my heart that I would never try to blaspheme the Holy Spirit one my friends today in a email wrote that I was one of the Godliest people he knows and he was shocked when I told him what happened to me that I think that I blasphemed the Holy Spirit in a hallucination of a Yellow Cross but the Bible doesn't warn of a Yellow Cross it says Satan masquerades as an angel of light and he may have been masquerading in the shower and on the door but would that be blaspheme the Holy Spirit if I bowed down to the hallucination on the door is mixing up Satan and Jesus blasphemy especially when you're sick and I am so scared my family and friends thinks it is a hallucination and my church but it feels so real. I do see a psych doctor but I not sure if he words off my skin and forhead and stomach it doesn't make sense I thought you had to verbally blaspheme not hallucinate a Yellow Cross. I love Jesus so much that my heart is breaking just the thought that I blasphemed breaks my heart could Satan be in my Brain and Heart from the Yellow Cross could these words that say Beast be real or is it a hallucination when I close my eyes it says it was taken but I didn't take it I love Jesus. I am so disturbed by this and I am scared that Jesus, God, and the Holy Spirit now longer love me for my mistake of mixing up Satan and God on accident could God forgive me I wasn't willfully trying to blaspheme anyone it was just a normal day until I took that shower and the Yellow Cross appeared I just want to relax and enjoy Christmas and celebrate Jesus birth and not let the words on my skin and forhead bother me. I just want to be able to take communion and rest in God's perfect peace this Christmas. I am only 24 years old and I don't live 7 years and die and go to hell. I saw revelation open in a hallucination tell me otherwise but I love Jesus and want to spend eternity with Jesus. I have always strive to please God like King David and I truly want to be a man after God's own heart but this hallucination that says beast of the earth tells me otherwise and I am so scared that it is real and I won't get raptured. I am just trying to trust that the Lord knows my heart that I didn't mean to fall into the Yellow Cross and it tells me I took the mark of the Beast I keep looping about it thinking it is real and asking if I am okay. I would never try to blaspheme the Holy Spirit and it concerns me just thinking that I did concerns me as I love God and his precepts and I would never try to fall am I still a child God despite this mark of this beast stuff going on when I close my eyes and see stuff on my skin and forhead it concerns me so much. I want to go to Heaven be with Jesus and spread the gospel is this just psychosis.
