@Neostarwcc
First of all, thank you for your comments.
This statement knocks the credibility out of your post. For example, do you feel a woman who is being beaten and raped by her husband is not in a toxic marriage?
My post said nothing about divorce so this comment is off topic. My thread is about how the church misapplies the submission doctrines to give abused women poor counsel such that the majority of churches are not a safe resource for her.
Are you saying a marriage where a man is domineering his wife while beating and raping her has it's good parts? The woman is in grave danger of being killed with the next blow and she should flee immediately.
Yikes. Yes, you were seriously abusive and she should have separated from you when you threw objects at her, if not before. Do you know that men who act out in physical violence are the most likely to kill their wives in anger? I fear for your wife's safety.
Your promise to God gives you the right to abuse her? Was that in your vows? Most vows have "love and cherish" in them. How do you feel about wantonly breaking that vow, also made before God? Why do only some of your vows count?
It doesn't sound like it, unless she gave you the right to throw things at her in her marriage vows.
In this we agree. Thanks for your comments.
Thank you. May God spare your wife in the danger she faces of being married to you. May He give her the insight and courage to separate from you before she is injured.
As strange and sadistic as it sounds, yes I do. God uses our pain and suffering for our own good and for his own glory. Let me give you an example from my personal life. When I was a kid pretty much up until now at 33 years old, I never had a supportive dad. My dad constantly verbally and physically abused me from the age of 10 up until I was about 27 years old. He's also drank almost my whole life and is just about the most unGodly person I have ever met in my life. It got so bad that I constantly acted out as a kid and young adult in order to gain my father's acceptance. As a teenager I got expelled from school 2 times and got detention/suspended way too many times to count. Once because I threatened to kill one of my teachers when I was 16 (Because she was being verbally abusive towards me and mocked me for crying and I couldn't take it anymore.) and another time because I was physically violent towards one. I think I pushed her into a desk if I remember right but my memory is very foggy on the subject because it happened when I was like 12 years old. So, I was a problem child but never did I enjoy the treatment that my dad gave me. It was an endless and futile battle and I probably will never gain the acceptance of my Father.
However, if I didn't have such a horrible past and have been such a horrible sinner I never would have come to God for a change of life. I was perfectly happy being an Atheist who stole money from others, constantly got in trouble, was constantly in abuse and in pain, who never thought in a million years that he could ever be happy in this world, the list just goes on and on. God planned all of this for me to go through all of that so that I could go through my ultimate transformation and spend the rest of my days (and my eternity) serving him and constantly be in his loving presence.
There are people who get raped, murdered, tortured, imprisoned ...etc all for God's ultimate plans. As it is written in Psalm 44:22 "Yet for your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.". This has been the case since Adam and Eve were created in the garden. A few good points/verses to remember though is that God ALWAYS is there and God will NEVER forsake us despite all of the pain that we go through (Deuteronomy 31:6) and God ALWAYS knows what's best for us. Some verses to remember are, Ephesians 2:10, Jeremiah 29:11, Proverbs 16:9, Romans 8:28, & Psalm 32:8.
We don't always get what we want either when we follow God's ultimate plans for our lives. There's one particular thing in my life that I personally would love for God to change, I was diagnosed with Schizo-Affective disorder ever since 2011. This basically, in case you don't know means that I am both Bipolar and Schizophrenic at the same time and when I am off my meds I completely lose it. I had to learn this the hard way about 3 years ago when I was off my meds for several years because I thought since I had Christ I didn't need meds. Needless to say I had to be hospitalized for over a week for that episode.
I have asked God multiple times over the years to heal me but so far, he has not. Why? Because it isn't in God's plan for me to be cured. But, one day as I live throughout eternity and when I receive (and lose) my rewards from God it will be as if I barely suffered at all up until the point where they won't ever come to mind. All of the suffering that I have suffered through in this world will one day be as if never suffered at all.
While these things are horrible for a person to go through. They also can be used for good and sometimes with the help of Christ and with a good pastor they can completely stop. Don't you agree that if these horrible husbands stopped by the grace of God that these husbands/wives should stay in the marriage? Well then they should go to a pastor because he can help make these things happen! I'm telling you i've seen it both in my own personal life and to the lives of others. My dad stopped physically and verbally abusing me for the most part although he still drinks and still is in desparate need of Christ. He still doesn't approve of my life for the most part but I've stopped trying to please him and have instead just been me. My wife and I don't abuse each other anymore for the most part, I'm not the kind of person that I was before. I'm not yet perfect but with God's constant help I am improving more and more each day. Sanctification is a daily lifelong process.
Another verse to remember is Philippians 1:6 which basically means that God when he changed us and gave us the Holy Spirit will completely complete that change/work by the time we die so that when we meet our Lord in person we will arrive before him blameless.
Also don't forget what you might find comforting. God sees everything and is a perfect judge. One day they're going to be punished by God and we are going to get justice for what they've done to us and to what they've done to God. This obviously isn't our ultimate goal because we are told by God to forgive those who have wronged us. But it's just something to remember. Those who abuse us and abuse others will NOT go unpunished by God just like those who are not following Christ yet claim to be will be judged by God. We will not go unpunished for our disobedience. One day I will have to give an account to God for EVERYTHING that I've done in my life both good and bad. And I'll be ashamed about the bad parts and proud about the good parts. I will receive and lose rewards.
Technically if a person stayed in an abusive marriage God would bless that person beyond their wildest dreams because they were doing what God wanted for their lives and not what they wanted. You cannot make the argument to me that it was in God's plan for them to leave that marriage because that's not how God designed marriage and it is not how God views marriage. God designed marriage from the very beginning to be a God chosen, lifelong commitment to one another.
But the thing is, both people in the marriage are going to have to want a change for it to happen. Christ can change all to what he personally wants for those people but they have to want to change as well.
I have nothing to say for the rest of your post. I've already made my point. Sorry for talking for so long about one question, lol!
