How many ex-Christians are there here on CF and reason for leaving Christianity?

[Stranger36147]

it is what it is.

I think that's become one of my favorite sayings....even though it's so commonly used.

 

[MehGuy]

I think that's become one of my favorite sayings....even though it's so commonly used.

Yeah, I like the saying.. matches my speaking style quite nicely.. lol.

 

[ananda]

Are there any members here who used to be Christians but became non-Christian?
If so, what was the major reason. How long were you a Christian before that? If you are an ex-Christian, have you ever thought about becoming a Christian again?
I put a poll thread up and if you feel I need to add more options, please inform me.

Christianity | Description, History, Doctrines, & Traditions

The church and its history
The essence and identity of Christianity
At its most basic, Christianity is the faith tradition that focuses on the figure of Jesus Christ. In this context, faith refers both to the believers’ act of trust and to the content of their faith. As a tradition, Christianity is more than a system of religious belief. It also has generated a culture, a set of ideas and ways of life, practices, and artifacts that have been handed down from generation to generation since Jesus first became the object of faith. Christianity is thus both a living tradition of faith and the culture that the faith leaves behind. The agent of Christianity is the church, the community of people who make up the body of believers.

To say that Christianity “focuses” on Jesus Christ is to say that somehow it brings together its beliefs and practices and other traditions in reference to a historical figure. Few Christians, however, would be content to keep this reference merely historical. Although their faith tradition is historical—i.e., they believe that transactions with the divine do not occur in the realm of timeless ideas but among ordinary humans through the ages—the vast majority of Christians focus their faith in Jesus Christ as someone who is also a present reality. They may include many other references in their tradition and thus may speak of “God” and “human nature” or of the “church” and the “world,” but they would not be called Christian if they did not bring their attentions first and last to Jesus Christ.

I was a Christian for 20+ years, and I served as a youth & adult teacher in various churches for a number of those years. I was also an apologetics teacher for some time. There were many reasons why I left Christianity; one was because I researched & practiced aspects of Buddhist philosophy and psychology to handle various issues, and I found that they worked very well for me. It eventually led me to a full scale acceptance of Buddhism.

Other reasons include: claiming BIblical promises that never manifested, being asked apologetics questions that I had no good answer for (even after much study), etc.

I have not thought about being a Christian again, except I do miss some of its social aspects.

 

[dlamberth]

ex-Christian here. Raised Presbyterian. The de-conversion process took a while, but I finally accepted the fact that God is way too big for any single religion. And along the way I became way more drawn to the mystery than to the dogma.

 

[Fear2Believe]

Are there any members here who used to be Christians but became non-Christian?
If so, what was the major reason. How long were you a Christian before that? If you are an ex-Christian, have you ever thought about becoming a Christian again?
I put a poll thread up and if you feel I need to add more options, please inform me.

Christianity | Description, History, Doctrines, & Traditions

The church and its history
The essence and identity of Christianity
At its most basic, Christianity is the faith tradition that focuses on the figure of Jesus Christ. In this context, faith refers both to the believers’ act of trust and to the content of their faith. As a tradition, Christianity is more than a system of religious belief. It also has generated a culture, a set of ideas and ways of life, practices, and artifacts that have been handed down from generation to generation since Jesus first became the object of faith. Christianity is thus both a living tradition of faith and the culture that the faith leaves behind. The agent of Christianity is the church, the community of people who make up the body of believers.

To say that Christianity “focuses” on Jesus Christ is to say that somehow it brings together its beliefs and practices and other traditions in reference to a historical figure. Few Christians, however, would be content to keep this reference merely historical. Although their faith tradition is historical—i.e., they believe that transactions with the divine do not occur in the realm of timeless ideas but among ordinary humans through the ages—the vast majority of Christians focus their faith in Jesus Christ as someone who is also a present reality. They may include many other references in their tradition and thus may speak of “God” and “human nature” or of the “church” and the “world,” but they would not be called Christian if they did not bring their attentions first and last to Jesus Christ.

I myself spent more than 15 years as a Christian, basically I was hoping Jesus would free me from what I believed was a sexual obsession with a family member. All up I'd say I gave Christianity enough time to restore me to sanity, but in reality I just couldn't pray away fate.

So after much deliberation I decided to leave Jesus for my own personal lie, but at least it is my lie and not someone else's lie.

Happy day's

 

[FireDragon76]

Are there any members here who used to be Christians but became non-Christian?
If so, what was the major reason. How long were you a Christian before that? If you are an ex-Christian, have you ever thought about becoming a Christian again?
I put a poll thread up and if you feel I need to add more options, please inform me.

Christianity | Description, History, Doctrines, & Traditions

The church and its history
The essence and identity of Christianity
At its most basic, Christianity is the faith tradition that focuses on the figure of Jesus Christ. In this context, faith refers both to the believers’ act of trust and to the content of their faith. As a tradition, Christianity is more than a system of religious belief. It also has generated a culture, a set of ideas and ways of life, practices, and artifacts that have been handed down from generation to generation since Jesus first became the object of faith.

And that's the problem. Christendom has built lots of sophisticated weapons and internal combustion engines through its understanding of alchemy, er... I mean, science, but that's not the same as actually being life-giving.

Truly, the triumphalism about the Christian tradition needs to go. There were cultures in the rest of the world that understood the Golden Rule long before Jesus and they were not barbarians devoid of vibrant life or hope. Marco Polo was astonished when he went to China and saw cities with multitudes of people, whereas most European cities were backwaters in comparison. European hegemony, we must keep in mind, is relatively recent.

 

[cloudyday2]

I mostly stayed on the forum because I liked a few people here but honestly it bores me to death nowadays except for the very tiny number of places I'm allowed to chime in, I basically can't use the site anymore.

Just curious what sorts of threads you would want that you can't create under the rules as a non-Christian.

Sometimes I would like to converse with Christians. In theory I should be able to create a thread in this World Religions sub-forum, and the Christians should participate in my thread. In practice it seems that most Christians ignore this sub-forum, so it begins to feel like I'm marooned on "non-Christian island" with the Skipper and Mary Ann and Ginger and Mr. and Mrs. Howell and the Professor - all nice people but only a few.

 

[dlamberth]

I've had a reminder kind of interaction today. It wasn't the reason for my de-conversion. But it sure played a part of it. During my de-conversion process more and more I found myself not wanting to be like the people around me in church. With out going into detail, I ran into just those kinds of people today. I left shaking my head feeling very thankful that I made the right decision.

 

[Zoness]

Just curious what sorts of threads you would want that you can't create under the rules as a non-Christian.

Sometimes I would like to converse with Christians. In theory I should be able to create a thread in this World Religions sub-forum, and the Christians should participate in my thread. In practice it seems that most Christians ignore this sub-forum, so it begins to feel like I'm marooned on "non-Christian island" with the Skipper and Mary Ann and Ginger and Mr. and Mrs. Howell and the Professor - all nice people but only a few.

I suggest this post I made a little while back captures my thoughts pretty well too.

But:

Any threads even tangentially about my religion or a defense of it are an official violation of the rules under promotion.

Any serious criticism of Christians and their beliefs constitute violations under blasphemy rules or other rules surrounding religious argumentation such as denying the trinity.

Any correction or misrepresentation of my religion cannot be addressed because I am locked from posting in 95% of other boards because of my religion tag.

There's such a small smattering of people here that it's hard to want to produce anything of a philosophical bent because those sorts of threads die on the vine or get hijacked in short order.

Doesn't really leave much to talk about on a religious forum, which more or less makes sense since it is a Christian forum. At that rate they should close CWR and drop the pretense since its clearly made in the image of a staging ground for passers-by to attempt weak proselytizing in the style long form rants filled with CAPSLOCK or hit and run youtube videos.

Please just put us out of our misery! Release me from this mortal prison!

 

[FireDragon76]

I think I'm just about done with church. I'm not at the stage I consider myself a "believer" in any particular creed. I do practice meditation, though, and I value some of the sentiments of religion.

Given the political climate around Christianity in the US and how that has influenced the broader Christian culture, I'm just not sure I want to identify with it anymore. Even liberal Christians often have to compromise their values in the name of belonging to broad denominations with a variety of opinions. Even giving the token dill and cumin to cultural conservativism is too much for me, I see no reason to uphold the status quo... the US system is broken. We need to find new values that allow us to live with integrity, that don't involve the dead burying the dead.

 

[FireDragon76]

I no longer consider myself Christian.

It was very gradual. I can't really pinpoint a single
reason other than that, having learned what I have up to
this point, I can't genuinely apply the label to myself.

Oddly enough, however, what the bible calls "the fruit
of the Spirit" has grown significantly within me. And
perfect love really does cast out fear.

And there you have it.

-

You seem remarkably sane.

There are good hearted people in my church- they aren't "mean" types of Christians. However, traditional Lutheranism is about Erastianism, reconciling yourself to the status quo (no matter how broken), all in the name of holding together a relatively rigid, fragile ego structure/personal identity. That's really quite pathetic, and it took stepping outside the box altogether to see that. I'm too smart and sensitive to really be happy with that kind of spirituality.

Somebody should sneak in some magic mushrooms, that's what I think. I'm no help to the folks at church warming the pews and confirming them in their behaviors. So mostly I stay away now and just pray for them.

 

[holo]

I decided to see if my reasons for believing held up to scrutiny and questioning. None of them did. I lost faith over several years, but I kept hoping that it was somehow true. Now I'm very content being a non-believer and I can't imagine what could bring me back to my old faith. It would probably have to be a very different form of Christianity, at least.

As for spirituality, I don't even think I could say what that word means, but I guess nature, music and Buddhist philosophy fills the void that Christianity left. Or maybe it's more true to say that the void was an illusion to begin with. I used to believe in the "God shaped hole" in us.

Anyway, today I'm just relieved I don't believe in it anymore. Sure, God gave me freedom, but then again he himself was also my greatest threat, so...

I often shake my head looking at some of the recent topics on CF. People are wondering why God created hell and widsom teeth and if it's sinful for Christian women to walk around in their underwear and I'm just grateful I can worry about actual problems now

 

[FireDragon76]

I decided to see if my reasons for believing held up to scrutiny and questioning. None of them did. I lost faith over several years, but I kept hoping that it was somehow true. Now I'm very content being a non-believer and I can't imagine what could bring me back to my old faith. It would probably have to be a very different form of Christianity, at least.

As for spirituality, I don't even think I could say what that word means, but I guess nature, music and Buddhist philosophy fills the void that Christianity left. Or maybe it's more true to say that the void was an illusion to begin with. I used to believe in the "God shaped hole" in us.

Anyway, today I'm just relieved I don't believe in it anymore. Sure, God gave me freedom, but then again he himself was also my greatest threat, so...

I often shake my head looking at some of the recent topics on CF. People are wondering why God created hell and widsom teeth and if it's sinful for Christian women to walk around in their underwear and I'm just grateful I can worry about actual problems now

One thing Christianity often does in general, at least in the western world, is peddle in the myth that there is something broken in you that needs fixing. And for many people at least, it's just not true.

 

[Zoness]

In my experience it's profoundly toxic, in fact. Lots of people I know from growing up are constantly fighting battles of poor self esteem because they were never good enough for their super Christian family. Especially the couple that realized they are gay at a younger age.

They fought and fought and fought to confirm but eventually the cognitive dissonance was too much. One of them attempted to take his own life and only after that did his parent's see how serious it was and have reformed a ton of behavior and they eventually reconciled. Lots of kids aren't so lucky.

In my experience it creates a pretty intense double standard for women as well; all people broken but women are the Eve-like temptresses and must hide their personality as to not offend the appointed men teachers. Women are subservient to men, it's the Biblical order and how dare you question gods order! Or so it used to go in my Protestant days.

To say nothing of the threat of hell, a constant, lumbering threat. After an upbringing of being told the things I like, the feelings I feel and the friends I have are of satanic and worldly influence after awhile ya sort of go "oh well then I'm embracing that instead of this toxic social circumstance". That was when the switch flipped for me.

 

[FireDragon76]

In my experience it's profoundly toxic, in fact. Lots of people I know from growing up are constantly fighting battles of poor self esteem because they were never good enough for their super Christian family. Especially the couple that realized they are gay at a younger age.

They fought and fought and fought to confirm but eventually the cognitive dissonance was too much. One of them attempted to take his own life and only after that did his parent's see how serious it was and have reformed a ton of behavior and they eventually reconciled. Lots of kids aren't so lucky.

In my experience it creates a pretty intense double standard for women as well; all people broken but women are the Eve-like temptresses and must hide their personality as to not offend the appointed men teachers. Women are subservient to men, it's the Biblical order and how dare you question gods order! Or so it used to go in my Protestant days.

To say nothing of the threat of hell, a constant, lumbering threat. After an upbringing of being told the things I like, the feelings I feel and the friends I have are of satanic and worldly influence after awhile ya sort of go "oh well then I'm embracing that instead of this toxic social circumstance". That was when the switch flipped for me.

I went through years of therapy to get rid of that sort of stuff, what Tara Brach calls "the trance of unworthiness". One doesn't even have to be particularly religious fundamentalist to absorb it, it's endemic among sensitive individuals in western culture to have this kind of hyper-critical, judgmental sense of self. And coming to that realization that my pastor peddles that sort of thing, albeit soft-pedalled, was disheartening. My therapist (who was also former Lutheran) was spot-on when she put her finger on the problem- they like making you feel guilty or so they can sell you on Jesus.

Some people just don't need that, it will lead to religious conformity, but not transformation. They need "radical acceptance".

 

[Yytz6]

I was born and raised a Christian but found islam to be the right religion after studying the quran. I've never thought of going back.

 

[PloverWing]

Sometimes I would like to converse with Christians. In theory I should be able to create a thread in this World Religions sub-forum, and the Christians should participate in my thread. In practice it seems that most Christians ignore this sub-forum, so it begins to feel like I'm marooned on "non-Christian island" with the Skipper and Mary Ann and Ginger and Mr. and Mrs. Howell and the Professor - all nice people but only a few.

Any threads even tangentially about my religion or a defense of it are an official violation of the rules under promotion.
...
At that rate they should close CWR and drop the pretense since its clearly made in the image of a staging ground for passers-by to attempt weak proselytizing in the style long form rants filled with CAPSLOCK or hit and run youtube videos.

CWR is one of the forums I follow regularly. I enjoy the conversations with people of other faiths that happen here. I do see from the SOP that CWR seems to have been set up as a proselytizing opportunity -- sorry about that! -- but that's not what I'm about when I participate here. Rather, I like learning about other people's religions and comparing notes, so to speak, about our spiritual paths.

I just wanted you to know -- Zoness and cloudyday2 and the other CWR participants -- that I appreciate your willingness to post here. cloudyday2, I especially enjoy the interesting questions you come up with. I think CF allows everyone to answer questions about their religions, so I'll try to think of my own discussion-starting questions for CWR.

 

[cloudyday2]

In my experience it's profoundly toxic, in fact. Lots of people I know from growing up are constantly fighting battles of poor self esteem because they were never good enough for their super Christian family. Especially the couple that realized they are gay at a younger age.

They fought and fought and fought to confirm but eventually the cognitive dissonance was too much. One of them attempted to take his own life and only after that did his parent's see how serious it was and have reformed a ton of behavior and they eventually reconciled. Lots of kids aren't so lucky.

In my experience it creates a pretty intense double standard for women as well; all people broken but women are the Eve-like temptresses and must hide their personality as to not offend the appointed men teachers. Women are subservient to men, it's the Biblical order and how dare you question gods order! Or so it used to go in my Protestant days.

To say nothing of the threat of hell, a constant, lumbering threat. After an upbringing of being told the things I like, the feelings I feel and the friends I have are of satanic and worldly influence after awhile ya sort of go "oh well then I'm embracing that instead of this toxic social circumstance". That was when the switch flipped for me.

I was raised as an Episcopalian so those issues you mentioned were much less pronounced. I was exposed to fundamentalist/evangelical beliefs in a summer youth camp, and I agree that those issues can be pretty harmful to some people.

There are also psychological benefits from belief in Christianity for many people. AND there is the issue of truth. The truth should be accepted regardless of our feelings about it or whether it benefits us or harms us.

BTW, this is one of the issues I wish I could understand about paganism/witchcraft/occult. I get the impression that you guys are choosing your gods and practices like you might choose a pair of shoes. Sometimes I have heard it claimed that religions didn't care about belief until Christianity, but I don't think that is entirely correct. The modern revival of these religions confuses me. ... So it is a shame if the rules of CF make it difficult for you guys to explain your beliefs. They are interesting to me (but very puzzling LOL)

 

[PloverWing]

BTW, this is one of the issues I wish I could understand about paganism/witchcraft/occult. I get the impression that you guys are choosing your gods and practices like you might choose a pair of shoes. Sometimes I have heard it claimed that religions didn't care about belief until Christianity, but I don't think that is entirely correct. The modern revival of these religions confuses me. ... So it is a shame if the rules of CF make it difficult for you guys to explain your beliefs. They are interesting to me (but very puzzling LOL)

Here, I'll ask it as a direct question; that way, under CF rules, you should be allowed to answer.

I know that the pagan religions vary in their specifics, but as I understand it, some varieties of paganism invoke gods by name (Greek gods, Norse gods, etc.) or cast spells. If you follow one of the varieties that involves gods: Do you see these gods as beings that actually exist; or do you see them as names for the spiritual aspects of the sea, the sun, etc.; or do you see them just as images that help you focus aspects of your personality? Do those who invoke, e.g., Greek gods think that those who invoke Norse gods are mistaken about reality, or just using different words for the same reality? And if you cast spells, do you see that as genuinely shaping the world outside yourself, or do you just see it as a way of naming and focusing your own energies?

If my wording of the questions is completely out to lunch, feel free to tell me that and to tell me what I should have asked.

(cloudyday2, I hope I've captured some of what you were getting at.)

 

[Silmarien]

I always find the denial of sin interesting. Coming from a very progressive background, I was moving in an Augustinian direction well before I had any real contact with Christianity. White privilege, patriarchy, the legacy of colonialism, systemic oppression, environmental degradation, the fact that everyone is too focused on their own lives to pay more than a passing thought to genocide, starvation, refugee crises, and so forth. It strikes me as odd that the conservative Christian world is so opposed to progressivism--the language is different, but the message is basically that not only is sin real, but it's also much worse than we thought, and they hate us for it. It's strange.

Can the Christian world be toxic? Yes, it can, and in a similar way to what often goes on in the secular progressive world, where pressure to conform to impossible moral standards can also cause problems. Focusing on sin and ignoring grace is unbalanced, but I'm equally skeptical of criticizing the notion of sin and saying that people ought to accept themselves as they are. That is the sort of sentiment lying behind our national ability to be bothered to do much more than offer thoughts and prayers in the face of mass murder. (We actually had an angry sermon about this a couple weeks ago, about how empty platitudes are not enough, so it has been on my mind.)

Obviously this isn't the sort of theology you run into in most circles, but it's out there, and I don't see how it could possibly be refuted.