Thrown away but determined

[Melody Suttles]

After twelve years of being the main caregiver to my parents - running back and forth between two states and begging my sister Susan to help me only to hear her say, "I am not about to give up my life to come help them."

I eventually found out that she did make two secret trips to our parents' home - the first trip was to gain Power of Attorney, and the second was to purchase our parents' home for less than ten dollars. This was kept secret from me. Also, my parents sabotaged everything I did to help them over and over again. After a year of praying and seeking God's guidance, I decided I had to walk away for my own health and well-being. I would have loved to be a team with Susan and work with each other but she forced my hand and found herself having to step up as caregiver - - -

That was three years ago.

Last week a crazy thing happened - my son told me that mom had fallen and broken her pelvic bone - it was as though my heart was a balloon full of water and his words cut an opening for my love and tears to come pouring out. All I could think was that I had to get to her. I kept saying to my husband, "I don't understand why this has me in such a panic. Why am I so anxious to get there?"

Next day I arrived at the rehabilitation/nursing home - mom was thrilled to see me - we had a few hours of laughter and enjoying each other's company. The next morning I walked in to see a woman who did not want me there. My father walked in and stared at me with so much hatred. He just stared at me like I was nothing. He never spoke to me.

It was like the Lord gently closed the door on that part of my life. It was over for real, and I felt no pain - just a sadness that he chose to hate me and reject me once again.

My half-sister Deb had been sitting with mom all night every night - which wasn't necessary since she wasn't allowed to help mom get up or do anything. It was strange to me until I realized she was bullied into staying there by our dad. He had asked her to move in with them and be mom's constant caregiver.

Deb has been shunned and rejected ever since I found out I even had a half-sister... 45 years ago. She has repeatedly tried to enter the family circle with love and kindness - only to be rejected again and again.

I stayed at Deb's house and did not go to the nursing home again. I watched as my father bullied, shamed, and manipulated Deb into sitting with mom almost 24 hours a day while he stayed home and watched tv.

He was never there for her when she was married at age 14; when she buried her mother at age 16; when she became a widow; when she could not meet her bills.... She never seemed to get angry but just continued to love him.

Now he is using her. I watched as his constant demands on her were pushing her past exhaustion. She had no car and no way to leave the facility unless he went and got her... which he did not do for 22 hours at a stretch. I watched - like watching a movie of myself all those years I ran to and fro caring for them. It was as though Deb had taken my place. She was utterly overwhelmed, and it killed me to see her so desperate for dad's acceptance - which I knew she would never be able to earn no matter how much she did for him or for how long. I went and got her from the facility and told her the nurses were there to help mom and that she would collapse unless she got some rest. But really, what the Lord had in mind, was to get her out of there altogether.

This entire trip was, to my surprise, not to rush to my mother's side... but this trip was a mission - a rescue mission set up by the Lord to go get my sister Deb and to give her the home and the love she so longed for. She was a widow and an orphan... a sojourner... and the Lord says in his Word that He loves the sojourner... His Word says to care for the widows and orphans. My heart became full again - for my precious sister Deb - I felt protective over both of us. We both were never really loved - we were used and manipulated - lied to - lied about - bullied and shamed into pleasing a father who was at heart a hateful person.

Deb and I prayed several times over the days I stayed with her. She continued to beg dad over the phone to give her a break from the facility for just one day. He was repeatedly hateful.

Deb realized she was about to walk into a nightmare if she moved into their house. So instead, I spent several days helping her pack up her house and I am going back day after tomorrow to get her things into storage and bring her home with me.

The Lord rescued Deb by opening a door to my heart and home... and He closed the door for good on my painful past.

Please pray for Deb that she will find a wonderful new life here with us - that her heart will be healed by the Holy Spirit's oil of joy.

 

[Aussie Pete]

We will pray for you.

 

[createdtoworship]

After twelve years of being the main caregiver to my parents - running back and forth between two states and begging my sister Susan to help me only to hear her say, "I am not about to give up my life to come help them."

I eventually found out that she did make two secret trips to our parents' home - the first trip was to gain Power of Attorney, and the second was to purchase our parents' home for less than ten dollars. This was kept secret from me. Also, my parents sabotaged everything I did to help them over and over again. After a year of praying and seeking God's guidance, I decided I had to walk away for my own health and well-being. I would have loved to be a team with Susan and work with each other but she forced my hand and found herself having to step up as caregiver - - -

That was three years ago.

Last week a crazy thing happened - my son told me that mom had fallen and broken her pelvic bone - it was as though my heart was a balloon full of water and his words cut an opening for my love and tears to come pouring out. All I could think was that I had to get to her. I kept saying to my husband, "I don't understand why this has me in such a panic. Why am I so anxious to get there?"

Next day I arrived at the rehabilitation/nursing home - mom was thrilled to see me - we had a few hours of laughter and enjoying each other's company. The next morning I walked in to see a woman who did not want me there. My father walked in and stared at me with so much hatred. He just stared at me like I was nothing. He never spoke to me.

It was like the Lord gently closed the door on that part of my life. It was over for real, and I felt no pain - just a sadness that he chose to hate me and reject me once again.

My half-sister Deb had been sitting with mom all night every night - which wasn't necessary since she wasn't allowed to help mom get up or do anything. It was strange to me until I realized she was bullied into staying there by our dad. He had asked her to move in with them and be mom's constant caregiver.

Deb has been shunned and rejected ever since I found out I even had a half-sister... 45 years ago. She has repeatedly tried to enter the family circle with love and kindness - only to be rejected again and again.

I stayed at Deb's house and did not go to the nursing home again. I watched as my father bullied, shamed, and manipulated Deb into sitting with mom almost 24 hours a day while he stayed home and watched tv.

He was never there for her when she was married at age 14; when she buried her mother at age 16; when she became a widow; when she could not meet her bills.... She never seemed to get angry but just continued to love him.

Now he is using her. I watched as his constant demands on her were pushing her past exhaustion. She had no car and no way to leave the facility unless he went and got her... which he did not do for 22 hours at a stretch. I watched - like watching a movie of myself all those years I ran to and fro caring for them. It was as though Deb had taken my place. She was utterly overwhelmed, and it killed me to see her so desperate for dad's acceptance - which I knew she would never be able to earn no matter how much she did for him or for how long. I went and got her from the facility and told her the nurses were there to help mom and that she would collapse unless she got some rest. But really, what the Lord had in mind, was to get her out of there altogether.

This entire trip was, to my surprise, not to rush to my mother's side... but this trip was a mission - a rescue mission set up by the Lord to go get my sister Deb and to give her the home and the love she so longed for. She was a widow and an orphan... a sojourner... and the Lord says in his Word that He loves the sojourner... His Word says to care for the widows and orphans. My heart became full again - for my precious sister Deb - I felt protective over both of us. We both were never really loved - we were used and manipulated - lied to - lied about - bullied and shamed into pleasing a father who was at heart a hateful person.

Deb and I prayed several times over the days I stayed with her. She continued to beg dad over the phone to give her a break from the facility for just one day. He was repeatedly hateful.

Deb realized she was about to walk into a nightmare if she moved into their house. So instead, I spent several days helping her pack up her house and I am going back day after tomorrow to get her things into storage and bring her home with me.

The Lord rescued Deb by opening a door to my heart and home... and He closed the door for good on my painful past.

Please pray for Deb that she will find a wonderful new life here with us - that her heart will be healed by the Holy Spirit's oil of joy.

Some times the blessings are in the things God takes away. In this case, He added a sister. Amazing story. Will pray for you sister.

 

[SkyWriting]

After twelve years of being the main caregiver to my parents - running back and forth between two states and begging my sister Susan to help me only to hear her say, "I am not about to give up my life to come help them."

I eventually found out that she did make two secret trips to our parents' home - the first trip was to gain Power of Attorney, and the second was to purchase our parents' home for less than ten dollars. This was kept secret from me. Also, my parents sabotaged everything I did to help them over and over again. After a year of praying and seeking God's guidance, I decided I had to walk away for my own health and well-being. I would have loved to be a team with Susan and work with each other but she forced my hand and found herself having to step up as caregiver - - -

That was three years ago.

Last week a crazy thing happened - my son told me that mom had fallen and broken her pelvic bone - it was as though my heart was a balloon full of water and his words cut an opening for my love and tears to come pouring out. All I could think was that I had to get to her. I kept saying to my husband, "I don't understand why this has me in such a panic. Why am I so anxious to get there?"

Next day I arrived at the rehabilitation/nursing home - mom was thrilled to see me - we had a few hours of laughter and enjoying each other's company. The next morning I walked in to see a woman who did not want me there. My father walked in and stared at me with so much hatred. He just stared at me like I was nothing. He never spoke to me.

It was like the Lord gently closed the door on that part of my life. It was over for real, and I felt no pain - just a sadness that he chose to hate me and reject me once again.

My half-sister Deb had been sitting with mom all night every night - which wasn't necessary since she wasn't allowed to help mom get up or do anything. It was strange to me until I realized she was bullied into staying there by our dad. He had asked her to move in with them and be mom's constant caregiver.

Deb has been shunned and rejected ever since I found out I even had a half-sister... 45 years ago. She has repeatedly tried to enter the family circle with love and kindness - only to be rejected again and again.

I stayed at Deb's house and did not go to the nursing home again. I watched as my father bullied, shamed, and manipulated Deb into sitting with mom almost 24 hours a day while he stayed home and watched tv.

He was never there for her when she was married at age 14; when she buried her mother at age 16; when she became a widow; when she could not meet her bills.... She never seemed to get angry but just continued to love him.

Now he is using her. I watched as his constant demands on her were pushing her past exhaustion. She had no car and no way to leave the facility unless he went and got her... which he did not do for 22 hours at a stretch. I watched - like watching a movie of myself all those years I ran to and fro caring for them. It was as though Deb had taken my place. She was utterly overwhelmed, and it killed me to see her so desperate for dad's acceptance - which I knew she would never be able to earn no matter how much she did for him or for how long. I went and got her from the facility and told her the nurses were there to help mom and that she would collapse unless she got some rest. But really, what the Lord had in mind, was to get her out of there altogether.

This entire trip was, to my surprise, not to rush to my mother's side... but this trip was a mission - a rescue mission set up by the Lord to go get my sister Deb and to give her the home and the love she so longed for. She was a widow and an orphan... a sojourner... and the Lord says in his Word that He loves the sojourner... His Word says to care for the widows and orphans. My heart became full again - for my precious sister Deb - I felt protective over both of us. We both were never really loved - we were used and manipulated - lied to - lied about - bullied and shamed into pleasing a father who was at heart a hateful person.

Deb and I prayed several times over the days I stayed with her. She continued to beg dad over the phone to give her a break from the facility for just one day. He was repeatedly hateful.

Deb realized she was about to walk into a nightmare if she moved into their house. So instead, I spent several days helping her pack up her house and I am going back day after tomorrow to get her things into storage and bring her home with me.

The Lord rescued Deb by opening a door to my heart and home... and He closed the door for good on my painful past.

Please pray for Deb that she will find a wonderful new life here with us - that her heart will be healed by the Holy Spirit's oil of joy.

Yes, siblings can do that. You throw sand on them one time in the sand box and 50 years later it comes back to haunt you.

 

[Mydreams]

Lord we bring Melody Suttles and this prayer to you, please bless, in Jesus loving name, Amen!

 

[brinny]

After twelve years of being the main caregiver to my parents - running back and forth between two states and begging my sister Susan to help me only to hear her say, "I am not about to give up my life to come help them."

I eventually found out that she did make two secret trips to our parents' home - the first trip was to gain Power of Attorney, and the second was to purchase our parents' home for less than ten dollars. This was kept secret from me. Also, my parents sabotaged everything I did to help them over and over again. After a year of praying and seeking God's guidance, I decided I had to walk away for my own health and well-being. I would have loved to be a team with Susan and work with each other but she forced my hand and found herself having to step up as caregiver - - -

That was three years ago.

Last week a crazy thing happened - my son told me that mom had fallen and broken her pelvic bone - it was as though my heart was a balloon full of water and his words cut an opening for my love and tears to come pouring out. All I could think was that I had to get to her. I kept saying to my husband, "I don't understand why this has me in such a panic. Why am I so anxious to get there?"

Next day I arrived at the rehabilitation/nursing home - mom was thrilled to see me - we had a few hours of laughter and enjoying each other's company. The next morning I walked in to see a woman who did not want me there. My father walked in and stared at me with so much hatred. He just stared at me like I was nothing. He never spoke to me.

It was like the Lord gently closed the door on that part of my life. It was over for real, and I felt no pain - just a sadness that he chose to hate me and reject me once again.

My half-sister Deb had been sitting with mom all night every night - which wasn't necessary since she wasn't allowed to help mom get up or do anything. It was strange to me until I realized she was bullied into staying there by our dad. He had asked her to move in with them and be mom's constant caregiver.

Deb has been shunned and rejected ever since I found out I even had a half-sister... 45 years ago. She has repeatedly tried to enter the family circle with love and kindness - only to be rejected again and again.

I stayed at Deb's house and did not go to the nursing home again. I watched as my father bullied, shamed, and manipulated Deb into sitting with mom almost 24 hours a day while he stayed home and watched tv.

He was never there for her when she was married at age 14; when she buried her mother at age 16; when she became a widow; when she could not meet her bills.... She never seemed to get angry but just continued to love him.

Now he is using her. I watched as his constant demands on her were pushing her past exhaustion. She had no car and no way to leave the facility unless he went and got her... which he did not do for 22 hours at a stretch. I watched - like watching a movie of myself all those years I ran to and fro caring for them. It was as though Deb had taken my place. She was utterly overwhelmed, and it killed me to see her so desperate for dad's acceptance - which I knew she would never be able to earn no matter how much she did for him or for how long. I went and got her from the facility and told her the nurses were there to help mom and that she would collapse unless she got some rest. But really, what the Lord had in mind, was to get her out of there altogether.

This entire trip was, to my surprise, not to rush to my mother's side... but this trip was a mission - a rescue mission set up by the Lord to go get my sister Deb and to give her the home and the love she so longed for. She was a widow and an orphan... a sojourner... and the Lord says in his Word that He loves the sojourner... His Word says to care for the widows and orphans. My heart became full again - for my precious sister Deb - I felt protective over both of us. We both were never really loved - we were used and manipulated - lied to - lied about - bullied and shamed into pleasing a father who was at heart a hateful person.

Deb and I prayed several times over the days I stayed with her. She continued to beg dad over the phone to give her a break from the facility for just one day. He was repeatedly hateful.

Deb realized she was about to walk into a nightmare if she moved into their house. So instead, I spent several days helping her pack up her house and I am going back day after tomorrow to get her things into storage and bring her home with me.

The Lord rescued Deb by opening a door to my heart and home... and He closed the door for good on my painful past.

Please pray for Deb that she will find a wonderful new life here with us - that her heart will be healed by the Holy Spirit's oil of joy.

Praying for Deb, and you too Melody. (((hug)))

 

[LoricaLady]

I pray for Deb's healing and yours and that things will work out for you both.