A question on lustful thought by a (relatively) new Christian

[AthensToJerusalem]

I am relatively new to Christianity and have been spending a lot of time reading and studying to catch up. I have a question regarding lustfuk thoughts, namely, when Jesus says that if one so much as looks at a woman with lust in his heart, he has already committed adultery.

First of all, what counts as lust? Any kind of arousal at all? Or the kind that is accompanied by at least some rational assent, so to speak..or as the Catholics would put it.

Also, does this apply only to married people or also those of us who are still single? Is it even possible to commit adultery if I am single?

I hope this is not too silly. Thank you in advance for any answer.

 

[Swan7]

I don't mean to speak for everyone, but a lot of people do struggle with this especially coming to Christ. Sometimes thoughts just appear in our mind. Yes, we still have to repent (to turn away from) and let God do His work in our heart. We can do nothing apart from Christ and we are saved by faith in Him as our Saviour.

It doesn't matter who this affects; single or not, it's everyone who has not put on the full armor of God. I hope this answers your question, or at least a part of it.

 

[AthensToJerusalem]

I don't mean to speak for everyone, but a lot of people do struggle with this especially coming to Christ. Sometimes thoughts just appear in our mind. Yes, we still have to repent (to turn away from) and let God do His work in our heart. We can do nothing apart from Christ and we are saved by faith in Him as our Saviour.

It doesn't matter who this affects; single or not, it's everyone who has not put on the full armor of God. I hope this answers your question, or at least a part of it.

Thanks. Does it count as adultery if I’m single though?

 

[Ttalkkugjil]

I am relatively new to Christianity and have been spending a lot of time reading and studying to catch up. I have a question regarding lustfuk thoughts, namely, when Jesus says that if one so much as looks at a woman with lust in his heart, he has already committed adultery.

First of all, what counts as lust? Any kind of arousal at all? Or the kind that is accompanied by at least some rational assent, so to speak..or as the Catholics would put it.

Also, does this apply only to married people or also those of us who are still single? Is it even possible to commit adultery if I am single?

I hope this is not too silly. Thank you in advance for any answer.

Christ finds adultery's beginning in the nourishing of the heart's lust. A woman may be seen, come within a married man's vision, and there's no wrong in the act.

However, when a married man looks upon any woman, married or unmarried, in a conscious, deliberate, intentional and persistent way, and then desires her for sex, adultery has been committed, although the sin's hidden in the heart.

 

[Swan7]

Thanks. Does it count as adultery if I’m single though?

Yes, because if you commit this by thought, it's already in your heart's desire to do that act without marriage, thus in Christ's eyes, one has already committed the sin. It's the same as fornication by someone unmarried.

Does that make sense?

 

[ewq1938]

Also, does this apply only to married people or also those of us who are still single? Is it even possible to commit adultery if I am single?

Yes, if the woman is married. If such thoughts are sinful in this situation, certainly it is still a form of fornication if both parties are single.

 

[DM25]

Yes, we still have to repent (to turn away from)

Actually the definition of repent from the original Greek word is to change one's mind, not turn away (common misconception). We as Christians will always have sin, we still live in the flesh and did not receive glorified bodies, so we will never be sinless.

Lust is difficult to let go of. But pray to God he can deliver you from it. And yes sometimes you will have a bad lustful thought, but we can choose not to feed that thought and bring our attention to Christ when that happens.

 

[Swan7]

Actually the definition of repent from the original Greek word is to change one's mind, not turn away (common misconception). We as Christians will always have sin, we still live in the flesh and did not receive glorified bodies, so we will never be sinless.

Lust is difficult to let go of. But pray to God he can deliver you from it. And yes sometimes you will have a bad lustful thought, but we can choose not to feed that thought and bring our attention to Christ when that happens.

Thank you, I didn't say we are sinless as only One has ever walked this earth sinless. God has placed His Word in our heart. I appreciate your correction however.

 

[Halbhh]

I am relatively new to Christianity and have been spending a lot of time reading and studying to catch up. I have a question regarding lustfuk thoughts, namely, when Jesus says that if one so much as looks at a woman with lust in his heart, he has already committed adultery.

First of all, what counts as lust? Any kind of arousal at all? Or the kind that is accompanied by at least some rational assent, so to speak..or as the Catholics would put it.

Also, does this apply only to married people or also those of us who are still single? Is it even possible to commit adultery if I am single?

I hope this is not too silly. Thank you in advance for any answer.

To look at someone in order to lust is an intentional focus, continuing, with the purpose of lusting as the intent.

It's not by happenstance seeing someone and having a unexpected momentary natural response towards them. Instead the wrong is to then later continue to focus on them in a lusting way -- still dwelling on their sexual attractiveness 5 or 20 minutes later. (A useful distinction to compare to an ok attraction is the very different situation of when you are both single, and it's instead an interest in the person as a person, being taken with their spirit/being/whole self, because they are available and you are both unmarried).

What's the antidote to a lust temptation? More than anything to take serious the prayer Christ gave you and me to pray in Matthew chapter 6, each day, and to pray this perfect prayer with faith, knowing it's exactly aligned to God's will, and we can believe it will be given to us as the words say.

Another good thing is that as a single adult, if you want to marry, it's good to marry, and you can aim to find someone and do so.

 

[Romans 8]

I don't mean to speak for everyone, but a lot of people do struggle with this especially coming to Christ. Sometimes thoughts just appear in our mind. Yes, we still have to repent (to turn away from) and let God do His work in our heart. We can do nothing apart from Christ and we are saved by faith in Him as our Saviour.

It doesn't matter who this affects; single or not, it's everyone who has not put on the full armor of God. I hope this answers your question, or at least a part of it.

Great post! Very concise and to the point. Yes, I agree. Actually, that's what Romans 8 is all about. You cannot do it without the Holy Spirit. Lust is the most difficult of them all, even though it's at the bottom of the list (isn't it?), because it's in out nature. In the flesh, not a hope in hades. But in the Spirit, we can overcome. Bless you!

 

[Swan7]

Great post! Very concise and to the point. Yes, I agree. Actually, that's what Romans 8 is all about. You cannot do it without the Holy Spirit. Lust is the most difficult of them all, even though it's at the bottom of the list (isn't it?), because it's in out nature. In the flesh, not a hope in hades. But in the Spirit, we can overcome. Bless you!

Yes! Thanks for the chapter!

 

[Romans 8]

Thank you, I didn't say we are sinless as only One has ever walked this earth sinless. God has placed His Word in our heart. I appreciate your correction however.

You have a way with words sister. Very nice. God Bless you.

 

[Sketcher]

Is it even possible to commit adultery if I am single?

If the person you are "with" or are lusting after is married, yes. If the other person is single, it's not adultery.

Matthew 5:28's scope is debatable. What is very clear is that if a married man decides to ogle a woman other than his wife, that's adultery of the heart. He's deciding to lust after a woman who is not his wife. He has his wife, but for some reason, he's not satisfied with her in that moment, and decides to lustfully enjoy the beauty of another, even though he hasn't made a move on her yet. What Jesus was contradicting was the acceptability of "look but don't touch." There were men then, and there are men now, who are married, and who will regularly check out other women and make remarks about them to each other, even though they are not going to go further than that. Jesus said that isn't good enough.

For a single man, it's not as much as an open-and-shut case as that, because he has no wife to be dissatisfied with, and to set aside in his mind for another. One also has to ask how a single man is ever going to find a woman to marry if he is strictly held to this. Yet, there are Christians who say that it's fornication of the heart. In some cases, it definitely has merit (i.e. looking at inappropriate content or going to a strip club). I'm not convinced it always has merit, though. If a married man strikes up a conversation and gets a date with a single woman, he's starting an affair. If a single man does the same with a single woman, he's beginning a legitimate relationship. That whole conversation happens in either case because the man in question desires the woman at some level.

First of all, what counts as lust? Any kind of arousal at all? Or the kind that is accompanied by at least some rational assent, so to speak..or as the Catholics would put it.

The sin of lust is essentially sexual coveting. It's more than just 1% arousal, but you've gotten there well before you've hit 100%.

 

[crossnote]

Perhaps one should ask what is the purpose of temptation in the first place and find it applies across the board, not just sexual temptations.
That purpose is to pull our heart affections away from God so that we end up going our own way (which is actually satan's way) and live a life independent of God until we come back in repentance...

Blessed is the man that endureth temptation: for when he is tried, he shall receive the crown of life, which the Lord hath promised to them that love him. Let no man say when he is tempted, I am tempted of God: for God cannot be tempted with evil, neither tempteth he any man: But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed. Then when lust hath conceived, it bringeth forth sin: and sin, when it is finished, bringeth forth death.
(Jas 1:12-15)

 

[HTacianas]

Lust is generally not merely a passing thought, but is a thought that is entertained. It is deliberate and willful. One cannot "briefly" lust in an instant, those thoughts must be dwelt on.

 

[FireDragon76]

I am relatively new to Christianity and have been spending a lot of time reading and studying to catch up. I have a question regarding lustfuk thoughts, namely, when Jesus says that if one so much as looks at a woman with lust in his heart, he has already committed adultery.

First of all, what counts as lust? Any kind of arousal at all? Or the kind that is accompanied by at least some rational assent, so to speak..or as the Catholics would put it.

Also, does this apply only to married people or also those of us who are still single? Is it even possible to commit adultery if I am single?

I hope this is not too silly. Thank you in advance for any answer.

Jesus point is more about how we shouldn't judge people because we are all sinners and God has very high standards, rather than the notion that we should never have a lustful thought enter our mind.

Certainly, we should be careful not to entertain lustful thoughts that could lead us to do harm to others or endanger relationships built on trust, but merely having a thought about sex enter your mind is not something we should worry about as being a sin.

 

[~Zao~]

I am relatively new to Christianity and have been spending a lot of time reading and studying to catch up. I have a question regarding lustfuk thoughts, namely, when Jesus says that if one so much as looks at a woman with lust in his heart, he has already committed adultery.

First of all, what counts as lust? Any kind of arousal at all? Or the kind that is accompanied by at least some rational assent, so to speak..or as the Catholics would put it.

Also, does this apply only to married people or also those of us who are still single? Is it even possible to commit adultery if I am single?

I hope this is not too silly. Thank you in advance for any answer.

We’re told to worship God in spirit and truth so when thinking about Godly things vs things relating to mankind we really have to put things into the context of the spirituality of the situation and to realize that it’s spiritual adultery that God is concerned about. Not a silly thing at all.

 

[mnphysicist]

In general, its prudent to interpret the scriptures as they lay, rather than to expand or diminish them.

So adultery only fits within the scope of married folks, it requires bending of the text to apply it to 2 single people... but if you don't know the lustee is married or not, prudence suggests it could likely be adultery.

Fornication is mostly culturally defined, as contrasted with what the actual scripture says in the Greek. ie, Victorian Sexual ethics does not define fornication. But... the danger of letting that scripture talk to us that plainly, is that it makes many think they have a free pass, or that there is a boat load of wiggle room, like X% lusting is ok, and X%+1 is not ok. Such wiggling around is not cool, when one consider that a tiny bit of yeast will raise havoc with all the dough.

Rather, I think it wise to consider loving ones neighbor and the gifts of the spirit... in this domain, fleeing from lustful thinking being it can dehumanize ones neighbor is a good practice. In addition, in fleeing, one is exercising a fruit of the spirit, namely self control. Such also leaves an opening for the establishment of a healthy relationship... Far too many single Christian folks hold way too uptight a stance (equating romantic spark with a potential partner to lust) and then wonder why they remain single and alone, despite a desire to eventually marry.

 

[~Zao~]

Otoh God’s judgement fell heavily on one who just spilled seed rather than for God’s intended purpose and prescribed way. There’s much to consider there.

 

[HisGraceAbounds]

I've struggled with my sexuality all my life, so please take this with a dose of salt, and don't think I'm trying to accuse you.

Have you asked yourself why you have lustful thoughts? Are you aware? Does it seem 'automatic' to you, or is there a pause where you make a choice to entertain lustful thoughts? Do you feel the pressure of peers or society to behave a certain way towards women? I'm going to make a bold claim that what you feel is your choice. You might not be aware of it right now, but if you're having lustful thoughts, it's because you choose to. Maybe you can look at it all objectively and see what triggers you and how you respond.