I feel very overwhelmed and going financially broke because I am so afraid of him robbing someone or selling my belongings,,I sometimes see the kid I use to know.
All of the above will be forthcoming if your son doesn't change, by choosing to never do drugs/alcohol again. He is using you, like he does everyone else, and he will continue to do so (and it will get worse) because that's what drug addicts do.
Addiction is a disease!
It's something that some who use get (because of the genes they have), while others who use never will (because they don't have that particular "addict" gene).
Nevertheless, we always need to do what must be done, tough as that often is, or our children may never get past their disease.
You should not be living in fear for your belongings, your financial stability, and especially for your health and/or life. That is no way for you to live, and you are not helping your son get better when you do. You need advice/help and you need it as soon as you can get it.
I think church is a great place for you to start. After all, that's a big part of what the body of Christ is all about, loving on, supporting those who are in some form of need. Then, when you are no longer the one who needs the support (and you are in a position to help others again), it will be your turn to minister to others again.
So find a church to join, and a pastor to talk to as soon as you can!! And the folks at Nar-Anon should be able to help you with knowing the ins and outs of being the parent of an addict, and/or they'll be able to send you to another group who can.
Unfortunately, there is no way you will ever be able to "love" your son enough to get him to change, because it's the drugs that he both loves and worships now (more than anything or anyone else).
As for jail, I HATE the fact that my son is there, but quite frankly, it is protecting him from himself, at least for the time being, because he has no access to drugs right now. It's also a place where I'm able to ask him to look around and to decide/ask himself the question, "
is this what I really want for my life". He's been in for over two months now, and he could and probably will be released later this month. I'm thinking about asking him to use a picture of the jailhouse as his iPhone wallpaper so that he'll always remember, when he's thinking about buying drugs and/or getting insanely angry at people he feels may have wronged him, whether a longer stretch of time in jail is really worth it or not. This is one of the big reasons we left him in this time, because he, as an adult, is responsible, and will be held accountable, for everything he says and does from now on (and if we chose to "rescue" him again, we would, in essence, be insulating him for that very necessary truth that is so vital for him to know and understand)!
Yours and His,
David
