So I don't mean to be brutal to anyone on this forum, or anyone anywhere.....
But every time I run into a Christian that says they 'hear G-d's voice', their lives are all train wrecks. And I do mean literally every single time. I had this lady once tell me that she could hear G-d speaking to her when she went on walks, and she would see a butterfly and G-d would 'speak' to her saying 'I'll take care of you like this butterfly'. (her words, not mine)
She was divorced, her kids were convicts, she was kicked out of her apartment for failing to pay the rent, lost her job, was constantly completely broke, had a history of drugs, her ex husband was an abusive alcoholic, and the list goes on.
When I meet Christians who live lives that are worth living, I can't think of a single one that said they heard G-d's voice.
They read their Bibles. They pray. They try and live out what they believe in Jesus Christ our Lord. They make the most wise choices they can, with wise council.
I always think of Proverbs 16:9.
"In their hearts humans plan their course, but the LORD establishes their steps."
You know what it doesn't say? It doesn't say a man sits at home, and waits to hear G-d's voice, and then follows his step by step directions.
Not there. In fact, that isn't anywhere in the Bible.
Here is what I've seen from the Christians I know who are leading good lives. I'm not a prophet, and I don't have divine wisdom. This is only what I've seen.
Christians make a plan, and start walking towards that plan. G-d then will direct their steps. If he doesn't want them going down one path over another, he will put up walls and barriers to direct and guide them into the path he wants.
This is what I suggest you do.
Whatever it is that you are facing, make a plan, start moving on that plan. If G-d wants you to move in a different direction, then have faith that G-d will direct your steps in the direction he wants.
Do not wait around to hear a divine voice.
I know lots of Christians who hear God - and their lives are not a mess at all. I think there are 2 issues, does God speak, and how we test and work with that.
Does God speak?
In John 10 Jesus explicitly says that his sheep will hear his voice (not might hear, will hear). In 1 Thess 5:20 we're told not to treat prophecies with contempt, but test them and hold on to the good. In 1 Cor 14:1 we're told to eagerly desire the gifts of the Spirit.
So, I believe God speaks - and I believe we can all hear Him.
It's the second thing I think we often get wrong. And that may go some way towards explaining why people you know who "hear God" are in a mess.
In 1 John 4:1 we are told explicitly, "do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God". There are 3 things we could be hearing - God, ourselves, or evil spirits. If we don't test then we are carried along by everything that enters our minds!
I was taught a 3 step testing process. Firstly, test against the Bible - is what you're hearing consistent with Scripture? (Acts 17:10-11, Isaiah 8:20) In your friend's butterfly example it is (I think of Jesus and the sparrows). The next thing is to test with whether the spirit acknowledges Jesus and the authority of the Apostles (1 John 4:2-3, 6, 1 Cor 14:37). Did your friend test that? Finally, test with the Church. Do others affirm the message as being from God - especially those with the gift of discernment. If that all "passes", I would hold it tentatively and wait for further confirmation.
This is where I would wonder about God saying "I'll look after the butterfly". There's nothing inherently wrong with that, it's consistent with God's care for creation. But has it been tested? Where's the "value" in that message? So I wouldn't deny it's God, but equally would hold off affirming it.
Having said that - the primary way God speaks is through the Bible. I feel so sorry for Christians who feel like reading the Bible is a dry, academic thing. For me it's a spiritual thing, I open my Bible expecting to hear God speak. It's also so important that we study our Bibles - how can we test something against the Bible, if we don't know what the Bible says?