How can I feel confident in God's love for me when I am screwed up?

[Haipule]

Thank you. This made me smile inside

I so glad girlfriend! You know, in spite all my deeply theological posts here on this forum, I'm really here to pick-up chicks!

 

[Haipule]

I've found that prayers don't really do much. Maybe they do and God just simply chooses to not answer mine. Thanks for your prayers either way.

Wow! That's odd? God answers ALL of my prayers! Usually in the negative. Yet, isn't "No" and answer?

 

[Invalidusername]

Wow! That's odd? God answers ALL of my prayers! Usually in the negative. Yet, isn't "No" and answer?

Honestly I don't think I've often had a real answer. There have been occasions where I did get an answer that was clearly an answer but it feels like the majority of my prayers just echo off the ceiling.

 

[pinkjess]

I so glad girlfriend! You know, in spite all my deeply theological posts here on this forum, I'm really here to pick-up chicks!

XD

 

[anna ~ grace]

To keep this short, I struggle heavily with social anxiety, misophonia, OCD, and a stuttering problem. I'm also extremely socially awkward. And I'm 24 years old, so it's not like a phase I'm going through or anything. Before anyone asks me if I am seeing a professional therapist, the answer is "no". I cannot afford counselling and don't really have reliable transportation to go to appointments. There is a lot of real-life crap going on in my life at the moment and so it just isn't very possible right now.

At work I have a very hard time. One of the parts of my job duties is to answer and redirect phone calls, and a lot of times after I stutter I get hung up on and sometimes giggled/laughed at. I have been asked if I have forgotten where I worked once and I was very embarrassed. I know that maybe some people may no "mean" to hurt me, but it does. It makes it very hard for me to have any sense of dignity or self-respect. Plus what makes my anxiety 10x worse is my boss sits five feet away from me listening to me stutter all day long. I come home with huge stress and have started to experience mini panic attacks because of the constant anxiety it brings me.

Because of my stutter, I am really quiet around people. I don't speak until I have to or someone else speaks first. I don't want people to hear me stutter because I know I will be judged for it. I also don't want people to see my earplugs because I wear them to cope with my misophonia and sensitive hearing. I already feel like a freak because of my social anxiety--I don't need more reasons for people to think I'm weird. As a result of all this hiding and avoiding people, I am really really lonely. I have been struggling with desires to have a boyfriend because I know that won't fix it, but as I get older and all of these issues surmount my ability to function--I fear I will never have one.

I internalize all of this and feel like God is punishing me or distancing Himself away from me.

I just feel like such a screw-up. I can't get the guts to go to church and make friends because I'm too scared of rejection. And I daydream about happy but imaginary social situations to cope with it. I want nothing more in life than to feel like I belong, that people take me seriously, and that I can properly communicate and have good relationships.

Does God care about me? Is He angry at me? Does He allow these problems in my life to punish me for something I've done? Are people's reactions towards me reflective of how He feels towards me? How do I find confidence in His love in spite of my issues?

You are basically exactly like me, and I'm 33.

It's ok. You're not messed up. God loves you.

I can't even say my own name without stuttering. It used to just about kill me, but I've stopped caring. I just write my name down or spell it out.

I found someone. And you can, too.

Happiness is possible. Your life may look a little bit different, but so what? Follow Christ and you'll be fine. I'm never going to be a doctor or lawyer, and I'm ok with that. You gotta just be ok with who you are, and let God mold the "you" He gave you into Christ's image.

 

[Haipule]

Honestly I don't think I've often had a real answer. There have been occasions where I did get an answer that was clearly an answer but it feels like the majority of my prayers just echo off the ceiling.

No prayer to God EVER "bounces of the ceiling!" The words translated for you as "prayer" all have different meanings in the Greek. And from these words, the clergy has given us the "Doctrine of Pray" as if God is anal!

The most basic word is euchomai and means simply: communication with a Divine Being.

You can talk to our Father about anything you want! As far as asking, the Greek word aitEO, often associated with "prayer", means to ask or beg. There is nothing wrong with saying, "please, please, pleeease"!

Our English word "pray" comes from a Middle French word which means to ask or beg such as the Old English phrase, "I pray thee, give me...

You can use the amEn if you wish, which means: SO-BE-IT!

We are God's beautiful sons and daughters! We go boldly before Him! None of that, "if it be Your will" nonsense! Use the imperative mood of command as Jesus did when He taught the disciples how to pray known as the "Lords Prayer". Jesus did not say, "Give us this day..." He said "Give!", as a command!

Jesus also taught us to "ask in His name/fame", which does NOT mean to say "In Jesus name-- amen". That is just ignorant lip service! We ask for things that are according to Who and What He is in all of His fame and majesty!

Maybe your prayers are a bit wishy washy and it's time to be more ballsy!

Remember this, God just doesn't snap His fingers and stuff happens. Sometime He must move heaven and earth to manipulate the circumstances and the people involved to answer that pray! So, patients is required. I love watching Him do His stuff!

 

[dqhall]

To keep this short, I struggle heavily with social anxiety, misophonia, OCD, and a stuttering problem. I'm also extremely socially awkward. And I'm 24 years old, so it's not like a phase I'm going through or anything. Before anyone asks me if I am seeing a professional therapist, the answer is "no". I cannot afford counselling and don't really have reliable transportation to go to appointments. There is a lot of real-life crap going on in my life at the moment and so it just isn't very possible right now.

At work I have a very hard time. One of the parts of my job duties is to answer and redirect phone calls, and a lot of times after I stutter I get hung up on and sometimes giggled/laughed at. I have been asked if I have forgotten where I worked once and I was very embarrassed. I know that maybe some people may no "mean" to hurt me, but it does. It makes it very hard for me to have any sense of dignity or self-respect. Plus what makes my anxiety 10x worse is my boss sits five feet away from me listening to me stutter all day long. I come home with huge stress and have started to experience mini panic attacks because of the constant anxiety it brings me.

Because of my stutter, I am really quiet around people. I don't speak until I have to or someone else speaks first. I don't want people to hear me stutter because I know I will be judged for it. I also don't want people to see my earplugs because I wear them to cope with my misophonia and sensitive hearing. I already feel like a freak because of my social anxiety--I don't need more reasons for people to think I'm weird. As a result of all this hiding and avoiding people, I am really really lonely. I have been struggling with desires to have a boyfriend because I know that won't fix it, but as I get older and all of these issues surmount my ability to function--I fear I will never have one.

I internalize all of this and feel like God is punishing me or distancing Himself away from me.

I just feel like such a screw-up. I can't get the guts to go to church and make friends because I'm too scared of rejection. And I daydream about happy but imaginary social situations to cope with it. I want nothing more in life than to feel like I belong, that people take me seriously, and that I can properly communicate and have good relationships.

Does God care about me? Is He angry at me? Does He allow these problems in my life to punish me for something I've done? Are people's reactions towards me reflective of how He feels towards me? How do I find confidence in His love in spite of my issues?

I remember some deaf mute people were hired to clean offices. At least you have sight, hearing and some speech. I remember Goodwill helped people with handicaps find jobs. The way things are going, they will try to use computer software and AI to answer the phones more and more. Some numbers I called had a computer answering and asking questions.

 

[Haipule]

Honestly I don't think I've often had a real answer. There have been occasions where I did get an answer that was clearly an answer but it feels like the majority of my prayers just echo off the ceiling.

A tourist go's to Jerusalem and notices a man praying at the Western or,Wailing Wall and decides to have a chat with him:

"How long have you been coming here to pray?" He answers, "Since 1967"

"What are you praying for?" He answer, "World peace and that the love of are children may impact the world".

"How is that going" He answers, "It's like talking to a brick wall!"

 

[Victor E.]

To keep this short, I struggle heavily with social anxiety, misophonia, OCD, and a stuttering problem. I'm also extremely socially awkward. And I'm 24 years old, so it's not like a phase I'm going through or anything. Before anyone asks me if I am seeing a professional therapist, the answer is "no". I cannot afford counselling and don't really have reliable transportation to go to appointments. There is a lot of real-life crap going on in my life at the moment and so it just isn't very possible right now.

At work I have a very hard time. One of the parts of my job duties is to answer and redirect phone calls, and a lot of times after I stutter I get hung up on and sometimes giggled/laughed at. I have been asked if I have forgotten where I worked once and I was very embarrassed. I know that maybe some people may no "mean" to hurt me, but it does. It makes it very hard for me to have any sense of dignity or self-respect. Plus what makes my anxiety 10x worse is my boss sits five feet away from me listening to me stutter all day long. I come home with huge stress and have started to experience mini panic attacks because of the constant anxiety it brings me.

Because of my stutter, I am really quiet around people. I don't speak until I have to or someone else speaks first. I don't want people to hear me stutter because I know I will be judged for it. I also don't want people to see my earplugs because I wear them to cope with my misophonia and sensitive hearing. I already feel like a freak because of my social anxiety--I don't need more reasons for people to think I'm weird. As a result of all this hiding and avoiding people, I am really really lonely. I have been struggling with desires to have a boyfriend because I know that won't fix it, but as I get older and all of these issues surmount my ability to function--I fear I will never have one.

I internalize all of this and feel like God is punishing me or distancing Himself away from me.

I just feel like such a screw-up. I can't get the guts to go to church and make friends because I'm too scared of rejection. And I daydream about happy but imaginary social situations to cope with it. I want nothing more in life than to feel like I belong, that people take me seriously, and that I can properly communicate and have good relationships.

Does God care about me? Is He angry at me? Does He allow these problems in my life to punish me for something I've done? Are people's reactions towards me reflective of how He feels towards me? How do I find confidence in His love in spite of my issues?

https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=1693282810753023

 

[Lowlander]

I would like to send you a personal message about misophonia and how to cope with it, but as I am new here I have no idea how to do that.

 

[Invalidusername]

No prayer to God EVER "bounces of the ceiling!" The words translated for you as "prayer" all have different meanings in the Greek. And from these words, the clergy has given us the "Doctrine of Pray" as if God is anal!

The most basic word is euchomai and means simply: communication with a Divine Being.

You can talk to our Father about anything you want! As far as asking, the Greek word aitEO, often associated with "prayer", means to ask or beg. There is nothing wrong with saying, "please, please, pleeease"!

Our English word "pray" comes from a Middle French word which means to ask or beg such as the Old English phrase, "I pray thee, give me...

You can use the amEn if you wish, which means: SO-BE-IT!

We are God's beautiful sons and daughters! We go boldly before Him! None of that, "if it be Your will" nonsense! Use the imperative mood of command as Jesus did when He taught the disciples how to pray known as the "Lords Prayer". Jesus did not say, "Give us this day..." He said "Give!", as a command!

Jesus also taught us to "ask in His name/fame", which does NOT mean to say "In Jesus name-- amen". That is just ignorant lip service! We ask for things that are according to Who and What He is in all of His fame and majesty!

Maybe your prayers are a bit wishy washy and it's time to be more ballsy!

Remember this, God just doesn't snap His fingers and stuff happens. Sometime He must move heaven and earth to manipulate the circumstances and the people involved to answer that pray! So, patients is required. I love watching Him do His stuff!

I guess I need to be more aggressive with my prayers. Just doesn't feel appropriate to demand or expect things from God.

 

[pinkjess]

I would like to send you a personal message about misophonia and how to cope with it, but as I am new here I have no idea how to do that.

Oh my gosh. I'd love to hear it! Please post it here

 

[Sal Robinson]

To keep this short, I struggle heavily with social anxiety, misophonia, OCD, and a stuttering problem. I'm also extremely socially awkward. And I'm 24 years old, so it's not like a phase I'm going through or anything. Before anyone asks me if I am seeing a professional therapist, the answer is "no". I cannot afford counselling and don't really have reliable transportation to go to appointments. There is a lot of real-life crap going on in my life at the moment and so it just isn't very possible right now.

At work I have a very hard time. One of the parts of my job duties is to answer and redirect phone calls, and a lot of times after I stutter I get hung up on and sometimes giggled/laughed at. I have been asked if I have forgotten where I worked once and I was very embarrassed. I know that maybe some people may no "mean" to hurt me, but it does. It makes it very hard for me to have any sense of dignity or self-respect. Plus what makes my anxiety 10x worse is my boss sits five feet away from me listening to me stutter all day long. I come home with huge stress and have started to experience mini panic attacks because of the constant anxiety it brings me.

Because of my stutter, I am really quiet around people. I don't speak until I have to or someone else speaks first. I don't want people to hear me stutter because I know I will be judged for it. I also don't want people to see my earplugs because I wear them to cope with my misophonia and sensitive hearing. I already feel like a freak because of my social anxiety--I don't need more reasons for people to think I'm weird. As a result of all this hiding and avoiding people, I am really really lonely. I have been struggling with desires to have a boyfriend because I know that won't fix it, but as I get older and all of these issues surmount my ability to function--I fear I will never have one.

I internalize all of this and feel like God is punishing me or distancing Himself away from me.

I just feel like such a screw-up. I can't get the guts to go to church and make friends because I'm too scared of rejection. And I daydream about happy but imaginary social situations to cope with it. I want nothing more in life than to feel like I belong, that people take me seriously, and that I can properly communicate and have good relationships.

Does God care about me? Is He angry at me? Does He allow these problems in my life to punish me for something I've done? Are people's reactions towards me reflective of how He feels towards me? How do I find confidence in His love in spite of my issues?

what you need more than anything else is a connection....I learnt this the hard way......I struggled with stuttering and I used a voice recorder to record my interactions with people so I could re-listen to them and improve...when they found out I was using a recorder I was fired.....so I know how difficult it is to have a stutter.....For me, my issue was a psychological barrier.....the more I engaged with other and reengaging with others....and imitating movie characters....doing everything i could to not internalise......being serious about having great outlets! creative outlets.....sadly no ones gonna come help you when ideally a church should be doing something.....

you have to be aggresive abot finding avneues to externalise, every beliefs we have was created by emotions....there is so much power in chnaing our emotions...

I am praying for you friend......commit to a jounrye of small changes.....I believe in you, You are not out of the Lord's hand, he can Change things!

 

[pinkjess]

what you need more than anything else is a connection....I learnt this the hard way......I struggled with stuttering and I used a voice recorder to record my interactions with people so I could re-listen to them and improve...when they found out I was using a recorder I was fired.....so I know how difficult it is to have a stutter.....For me, my issue was a psychological barrier.....the more I engaged with other and reengaging with others....and imitating movie characters....doing everything i could to not internalise......being serious about having great outlets! creative outlets.....sadly no ones gonna come help you when ideally a church should be doing something.....

you have to be aggresive abot finding avneues to externalise, every beliefs we have was created by emotions....there is so much power in chnaing our emotions...

I am praying for you friend......commit to a jounrye of small changes.....I believe in you, You are not out of the Lord's hand, he can Change things!

This means a lot to me. thank you so mUch

 

[Haipule]

I guess I need to be more aggressive with my prayers. Just doesn't feel appropriate to demand or expect things from God.

Case in point: I live on the island of Maui which is my home since 1995 but, two years ago I lived in Palm beach FL so that I had easy access to boats and planes to travel the world, which I did for 10yrs.

Well, hurricane Matthew became a serious threat to me. I commanded and demanded that God take this storm out of my face and send it out to sea, SO-BE-IT!

I posted that audacious prayer on a Christian forum days before it's arrival. That prayer was met with disbelief and ridulous accusations by the forum members--accept for the ones that live in FL.

Well, the morning of it's arrival, I went on the internet to see it's projected arrival and saw that it was coming right into my face as a cat 4! I woke up my wife and said, "this is serious and we need a plan!" Not that we had not already done so. We prepared for the worst!

At about 1:00 pm, I went outside to have a last cocktail and smoke. I waited but NOTHING happened! So I turned on the news and saw that that storm had done the SWEETEST little dance around Palm Beach County and went out to sea! AS I COMANDED OF GOD days before!

For some unknown reason to me, God just LOVES that 11th hour and 59 minutes!

Going back to that forum was the sweetest vindication and that, not only because God is God but, because I am His son!

When I first went to FL, I got soaked with rain as it rains a lot in FL. I DEMANDED of God to NEVER allow that to happen to me again! It never did and I never bought an umbrella!

 

[MyGivenNameIsKeith]

To keep this short, I struggle heavily with social anxiety, misophonia, OCD, and a stuttering problem. I'm also extremely socially awkward. And I'm 24 years old, so it's not like a phase I'm going through or anything. Before anyone asks me if I am seeing a professional therapist, the answer is "no". I cannot afford counselling and don't really have reliable transportation to go to appointments. There is a lot of real-life crap going on in my life at the moment and so it just isn't very possible right now.

At work I have a very hard time. One of the parts of my job duties is to answer and redirect phone calls, and a lot of times after I stutter I get hung up on and sometimes giggled/laughed at. I have been asked if I have forgotten where I worked once and I was very embarrassed. I know that maybe some people may no "mean" to hurt me, but it does. It makes it very hard for me to have any sense of dignity or self-respect. Plus what makes my anxiety 10x worse is my boss sits five feet away from me listening to me stutter all day long. I come home with huge stress and have started to experience mini panic attacks because of the constant anxiety it brings me.

Because of my stutter, I am really quiet around people. I don't speak until I have to or someone else speaks first. I don't want people to hear me stutter because I know I will be judged for it. I also don't want people to see my earplugs because I wear them to cope with my misophonia and sensitive hearing. I already feel like a freak because of my social anxiety--I don't need more reasons for people to think I'm weird. As a result of all this hiding and avoiding people, I am really really lonely. I have been struggling with desires to have a boyfriend because I know that won't fix it, but as I get older and all of these issues surmount my ability to function--I fear I will never have one.

I internalize all of this and feel like God is punishing me or distancing Himself away from me.

I just feel like such a screw-up. I can't get the guts to go to church and make friends because I'm too scared of rejection. And I daydream about happy but imaginary social situations to cope with it. I want nothing more in life than to feel like I belong, that people take me seriously, and that I can properly communicate and have good relationships.

Does God care about me? Is He angry at me? Does He allow these problems in my life to punish me for something I've done? Are people's reactions towards me reflective of how He feels towards me? How do I find confidence in His love in spite of my issues?

I used to often wonder about things such as this. However, I started to trust the Lord and that all these things were for good in some odd way. A few examples from Proverbs I could direct you to have to do with wise people typically restraining their words. Whereas, fools often talk and talk and talk about foolishness.
Proverbs 13:3 He that keepeth his mouth keepeth his life: but he that openeth wide his lips shall have destruction.
Proverbs 21:23 Whoso keepeth his mouth and his tongue keepeth his soul from troubles.
Psalms 141:3 Set a watch, O LORD, before my mouth; keep the door of my lips.
It seems in a roundabout way, the Lord is protecting you. If anything he is drawing you near. He has blessed you with sensitive hearing so that you aren't listening to nonsense from mankind but are listening to him. A stutter so that your words are deliberate and tempered and wise. A big heart to have a capacity for the love he feels towards you. He has you alone that way you look to him and nowhere else. He isn't distancing himself from you. It seems he has been there all along.

John 15:18-27
18If the world hates you, understand that it hated Me first. 19If you were of the world, it would love you as its own. Instead, the world hates you, because you are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of the world.

20Remember the word that I spoke to you: ‘No servant is greater than his master.’ If they persecuted Me, they will persecute you as well; if they kept My word, they will keep yours as well. 21But they will treat you like this on account of My name, because they do not know the One who sent Me. 22If I had not come and spoken to them, they would not be guilty of sin. Now, however, they have no excuse for their sin.

23Whoever hates Me hates My Father as well. 24If I had not done among them the works that no one else did, they would not be guilty of sin; but now they have seen and hated both Me and My Father. 25But this is to fulfill what is written in their Law: ‘They hated Me without reason.’

26When the Advocate comes, whom I will send to you from the Father—the Spirit of truth who goes out from the Father—He will testify about Me. 27And you also must testify, because you have been with Me from the beginning.

 

[Invalidusername]

Case in point: I live on the island of Maui which is my home since 1995 but, two years ago I lived in Palm beach FL so that I had easy access to boats and planes to travel the world, which I did for 10yrs.

Well, hurricane Matthew became a serious threat to me. I commanded and demanded that God take this storm out of my face and send it out to sea, SO-BE-IT!

I posted that audacious prayer on a Christian forum days before it's arrival. That prayer was met with disbelief and ridulous accusations by the forum members--accept for the ones that live in FL.

Well, the morning of it's arrival, I went on the internet to see it's projected arrival and saw that it was coming right into my face as a cat 4! I woke up my wife and said, "this is serious and we need a plan!" Not that we had not already done so. We prepared for the worst!

At about 1:00 pm, I went outside to have a last cocktail and smoke. I waited but NOTHING happened! So I turned on the news and saw that that storm had done the SWEETEST little dance around Palm Beach County and went out to sea! AS I COMANDED OF GOD days before!

For some unknown reason to me, God just LOVES that 11th hour and 59 minutes!

Going back to that forum was the sweetest vindication and that, not only because God is God but, because I am His son!

When I first went to FL, I got soaked with rain as it rains a lot in FL. I DEMANDED of God to NEVER allow that to happen to me again! It never did and I never bought an umbrella!

Although i think we need to be careful about demanding stuff from God. We are not His boss.

 

[Haipule]

Although i think we need to be careful about demanding stuff from God. We are not His boss.

I am NOT "careful" with my Father and do NOT walk on egg shells around Him! I can demand from Him ANYTHING I wish! I am His son! He loves me greatly and will do everything He can to keep His promise of life to me BEYOND anything I could even ask or even imagine! Which He has busied Himself with my whole life!

The first thing is to be "that son"! I wasn't easy but it should be!

I had to dismantle theologies in order to understand God and His Word, His Faith, His Hope, His Love, His Righteousness and His Glory.

Yet, His glory is to glorify ME! "Those whom He calls He glorifies". No one ever taught me that! "Glory", doxa, means: to shine like a a star in the night sky or, a candle that illuminate a dark room. And Jesus said, "don't hide it!"

Do you realize this that, if we look good, He looks good to others? And that is the true meaning of being a living witness and testimony of God and His glory!

Stay shiny my friend!

 

[Bobber]

Plus what makes my anxiety 10x worse is my boss sits five feet away from me listening to me stutter all day long. I come home with huge stress and have started to experience mini panic attacks because of the constant anxiety it brings me.

Well if your boss is seated as you say five feet away from you and you claim he hears you all day than it would suggest to me that perhaps you don't stutter as much as you think OR maybe he'd think the same way I'd consider it . I wouldn't care if someone had the stutter problem who worked the phones...why? Because I'd know everyone out there understands and have a lot more compassion than you might think. Everybody among the public probably have a relative or friend who might have the same and most people are good and reasonable who would truly want the best for you and would never look upon you as lacking worth. If you're on the phones with the public a lot I'm guessing 95% of them are on your side! They understand and they care. The other 5% of them who yes might be cruel their cruelty should be more of an embarrassment to them then to anything you should feel. You might even consider feeling sorry for them for they haven't come to an understanding of what being a human being is all about.

 

[Seeker112]

I have had a similar experience I used to be a drummer on the way to a
.career work in the hospital for 2 years and now I have a disability that limits me very much. I also have anxiety and depression problems but God is helping me work through it one day at a time because remember tomorrow is promised to no one. Of course God loves you I felt the same that he was angry at me and abandoning me because I have had other experiences like sexual abuse in my life from a family member and then I felt taken away from my music career and then I got a disability after band practice one day I also have a fiance who ended up with the mental illness and we broke up because he ended up abusing me. can't drive no more among other stuff we all have issues because we are here on Earth and we will not be perfect until we are in his presence remember people are very judgemental because we are all sinners and God is the only perfect one. what helped me tremendously was prayer and starting to listen to God I started praying continuously and He helped with my anxiety problem dive into the word listen to some praise and worship or any type of Christian music and most importantly pray often when God feels distant is when he is training us for something big that we don't understand quite yet and remember stand against attacks of the enemy