Ladies and Gentlemen, we are in a hostage situation. Kim Jong-On has basically held South Korea, Japan, and American interests in Asia hostage. The first rule of hostage negotiation is to calm the situation down, to prevent things from escalating, to establish communication with the hope of getting the hostage taker to back down. That is what we should do.
Instead we have a madman as our leader engaging in a shouting match with North Korea. It is as though there are two men with guns yelling at each other to shutup or I will shoot. That is not likely to have a happy ending. Neither can back down from the shouting match and save face. Eventually, one or the other is like to decide that a confrontation is inevitable, and that the best chance is to take the first shot.
There are no good options. In the link below, 4 options are presented with the problems with each.
Must We Accept a Nuclear North Korea?
1. Nuke them into the stone age: Retaliation is still likely. Unleashes an enormous humanitarian crisis, and America loses all goodwill abroad.
2. Surgical strikes: Substantial retaliation very likely.
3. Assassination: You can't kill them all. Whoever is left is likely to lead a massive retaliation.
4. Negotiation and Sanctions, living with the best arrangement we can get: Not what we want, but probably the most humane.
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Edits to the OP:
1. By the way, the second optional was meant to be "Surgical strike". I accidentally hit the send button before I proofread the survey, and there is no way to change it now. Sorry about that.
2. For an evaluation of the current North Korean military capacity, see
2017 North Korea Military Strength