- Nov 29, 2005
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- Eastern Orthodox
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A little long - but it struck a chord with me 
You Might Be an Eastern Christian If...
•You're experienced at removing wax from clothing.
• In a blind taste test, you can identify different brands of tofu.
• You don't flinch when someone throws water at you.
• You kiss a man's hand more than three times every Sunday.
• You know how to address the wife of a priest in more than three languages.
• You know how to say "Christ is risen!" in more than four languages.
• You can immediately come up with the date 13 days ago.
• Your children think of monasteries as vacation destinations.
• You know which chocolate candies contain no milk products. (Go Junior Mints!)
• You are 20 and already have varicose veins.
• You are 80 and can still touch the floor.
• You don't mind going around with an oily forehead.
• You bow reflexively before hirsute men in black dresses.
• You have memorized the 50th Psalm, but it's from four different translations.
• You save toenail clippings in hopes of ... well ... you know ... glorification.
• Your spouse is concerned about whether the carbon stains on the ceiling are hurting the retail value of the house.
• You forget to set your clock forward in the spring and get to church an hour late, and it's still not halfway through.
• Fellow parishioners forget to set their clocks back in the fall and get up an hour early, yet they still arrive late.
• Your children think nothing of Sundays without breakfast.
• At the end of Holy Week, you have rug burns on your forehead.
• Before you pray, you say a prayer.
You Might Be an Eastern Christian If...
•You're experienced at removing wax from clothing.
• In a blind taste test, you can identify different brands of tofu.
• You don't flinch when someone throws water at you.
• You kiss a man's hand more than three times every Sunday.
• You know how to address the wife of a priest in more than three languages.
• You know how to say "Christ is risen!" in more than four languages.
• You can immediately come up with the date 13 days ago.
• Your children think of monasteries as vacation destinations.
• You know which chocolate candies contain no milk products. (Go Junior Mints!)
• You are 20 and already have varicose veins.
• You are 80 and can still touch the floor.
• You don't mind going around with an oily forehead.
• You bow reflexively before hirsute men in black dresses.
• You have memorized the 50th Psalm, but it's from four different translations.
• You save toenail clippings in hopes of ... well ... you know ... glorification.
• Your spouse is concerned about whether the carbon stains on the ceiling are hurting the retail value of the house.
• You forget to set your clock forward in the spring and get to church an hour late, and it's still not halfway through.
• Fellow parishioners forget to set their clocks back in the fall and get up an hour early, yet they still arrive late.
• Your children think nothing of Sundays without breakfast.
• At the end of Holy Week, you have rug burns on your forehead.
• Before you pray, you say a prayer.
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