- May 21, 2017
- 342
- 224
- 27
- Country
- United States
- Faith
- Christian
- Marital Status
- Single
I'm praying and sometimes crying for Jesus to answer me, or show me or guide me in some way so I can follow Him but I don't get anything from Him.
I've given up movies, TV, video games and other meaningless pleasures of the world for Him, however to be honest I still dream or think about them. I've stopped outwardly sinning. Although I still sometimes inwardly sin because I still covet food, regardless if I'm hungry or not. I can't help but getting angry or emotional at my mom sometimes. I'm also still self-centered and selfish, even though I'm trying to be more selfless. And I know I shouldn't feel these things or have these thoughts but you can't know what you're going to be thinking next. So how do I stop sinning inwardly?
I want to be baptized but I don't know where to go, because my family are either non-believers or Catholic or Lutheran, and they don't believe in full- immersion baptism as an adult. And it seems that no church follows everything about Jesus, but only certain parts. So would you say it's okay to go to a church that you don't fully agree with or go to no church at all?
Plus I have to admit that I'm too afraid to talk to people about Jesus. Not only am I shy, but sharing about Jesus almost seems personal...and I am really bad about opening up and being personal face to face. And of course, there are many parts of the message of Jesus that most people don't like. I know my family and friends would scoff and reject what I have to tell them. They wouldn't really listen or take me seriously, because no one ever takes me seriously.
I can't help but think that I need to just leave everything and start anew so I can start my new life with Jesus and properly follow Him. But at the same time, it feels wrong to leave my parents when they did so much for me in my life. At the same time, Jesus also said that if you don't love Him more than your parents, then you can't follow Him. But then I also don't have enough to live on, I never lived on my own yet, and I have no clue where I would go.
I'm sorry if I'm wasting your time and if this seems really lengthy and I'm rambling on, but I just don't know what to do. And now life just seems totally pointless unless I can have a relationship with Jesus.
I've given up movies, TV, video games and other meaningless pleasures of the world for Him, however to be honest I still dream or think about them. I've stopped outwardly sinning. Although I still sometimes inwardly sin because I still covet food, regardless if I'm hungry or not. I can't help but getting angry or emotional at my mom sometimes. I'm also still self-centered and selfish, even though I'm trying to be more selfless. And I know I shouldn't feel these things or have these thoughts but you can't know what you're going to be thinking next. So how do I stop sinning inwardly?
I want to be baptized but I don't know where to go, because my family are either non-believers or Catholic or Lutheran, and they don't believe in full- immersion baptism as an adult. And it seems that no church follows everything about Jesus, but only certain parts. So would you say it's okay to go to a church that you don't fully agree with or go to no church at all?
Plus I have to admit that I'm too afraid to talk to people about Jesus. Not only am I shy, but sharing about Jesus almost seems personal...and I am really bad about opening up and being personal face to face. And of course, there are many parts of the message of Jesus that most people don't like. I know my family and friends would scoff and reject what I have to tell them. They wouldn't really listen or take me seriously, because no one ever takes me seriously.
I can't help but think that I need to just leave everything and start anew so I can start my new life with Jesus and properly follow Him. But at the same time, it feels wrong to leave my parents when they did so much for me in my life. At the same time, Jesus also said that if you don't love Him more than your parents, then you can't follow Him. But then I also don't have enough to live on, I never lived on my own yet, and I have no clue where I would go.
I'm sorry if I'm wasting your time and if this seems really lengthy and I'm rambling on, but I just don't know what to do. And now life just seems totally pointless unless I can have a relationship with Jesus.