Caregivers for a Loved One with Alzheimer's

[GrammyJ]

Any others out there who are caring for a spouse or other family member with Alzheimer's?

 

[Kristen.NewCreation]

I'm glad you posted. I don't, but one of my best friends husband has Alzheimer's. She kept him at home as long as possible, but had to have him admitted to a special unit locally for his safety as she couldn't keep him safe any longer at home due to falls, disorientation, and more.

Do you want to share more about your experience? I know you are far from the only one.

 

[GrammyJ]

I'm glad you posted. I don't, but one of my best friends husband has Alzheimer's. She kept him at home as long as possible, but had to have him admitted to a special unit locally for his safety as she couldn't keep him safe any longer at home due to falls, disorientation, and more.

Do you want to share more about your experience? I know you are far from the only one.

I've been married to my hubby for 54 years (this coming June). His mom died of Alzheimer's in her late 70's, and my husband began experiencing symptoms about 6 years ago. Things progressed pretty slowly until this past August when everything began to fall apart. The stress of dealing with this disease (as a caregiver) is unbelievable, and my health is seriously suffering. My blood pressure is off the charts (two emergency room visits just this past week)! There are times now when he doesn't know who I am or isn't sure we're married and thinks it scandalous that I sleep in his bed. He can't find the bathroom in a house where we've lived for 13 years, and asks EVERY night where he should sleep. Needs help bathing, dressing, personal hygiene - his care needs increase exponentially with the passage of time.

I am looking into eligibility for Medicaid, since there's no way we can afford $74,000/year for his care in a Memory Care facility (we live solely on Social Security). But we are getting things in order to begin the application process, if we can do what it will take to be eligible. It breaks my heart to even talk about it, but I can't continue to do this, or he'll outlive me, and then what! Sufficeth to say, Alzheimer's is a horrid disease!

 

[Kristen.NewCreation]

My friend can so relate to your situation as she has shared much the same with me. In our state, the facility can do an eligibility for medicaid and apply for you. It can be faster that way, but not always. You might check with your facility to see if they will help where you would like him to go?

 

[saved24]

I sure do feel for you. My Mother has Alzheimer's and she has been able to live at home with my Dad, her husband. It was very hard when she was confused and thought he was a strange man, it was hard for her and Dad. Her fear, his frustration. My brother looks out for their needs and gets them the medical help they need and shops for their groceries. My sister and I found out information to get help in the home for Mom and Dad so they can live there and not in a home. My Dad does not have Alzheimer's but he does have some dementia, we can have good conversations and he knows all his children. I do not live in the same province as them but will be visiting them soon.
I know you are in a very difficult stage of this disease, are they giving your husband any medicine to help him? Do you have any program in your country where they can come in the home, like home care workers a few times a day, or even someone to let you have a break? Maybe that is what you are referring to when you talk of Medicade?
Praying for your situation, that your husband will be cared for and for your health and well being. God bless and keep you.

 

[rhawk]

Hello GrammyJ,

My grandmother and uncle had Alzheimer's. My father had dementia and died in '02 and my mother has dementia and things began to fall apart as you experienced about a year ago. I flew out Sunday after she fell again and went to the hospital Friday and we JUST put mom in a home 2 days ago and it is eating me up inside and killing me right now. Because mom is also acting out and being uncontrollable and horrible to everyone, no standard Memory Care facility would take her and she was released from the hospital into a locked dementia ward unit, where she will also stay. I cannot offer any suggestions or help on the Medicaid financial aspect, but I am here for emotional support and aside from not knowing the aspect of a spouse being the loved-one, I have experienced it with several family members and my father and now mother. Mom is 91 now.
I will pray for you and your situation and as I said, I am here if you want to reply or send me a private message. Please take care of yourself, your mental well being is also very important.

Sincerely,

David

 

[ChristServant]

I've been married to my hubby for 54 years (this coming June). His mom died of Alzheimer's in her late 70's, and my husband began experiencing symptoms about 6 years ago. Things progressed pretty slowly until this past August when everything began to fall apart. The stress of dealing with this disease (as a caregiver) is unbelievable, and my health is seriously suffering. My blood pressure is off the charts (two emergency room visits just this past week)! There are times now when he doesn't know who I am or isn't sure we're married and thinks it scandalous that I sleep in his bed. He can't find the bathroom in a house where we've lived for 13 years, and asks EVERY night where he should sleep. Needs help bathing, dressing, personal hygiene - his care needs increase exponentially with the passage of time.

I am looking into eligibility for Medicaid, since there's no way we can afford $74,000/year for his care in a Memory Care facility (we live solely on Social Security). But we are getting things in order to begin the application process, if we can do what it will take to be eligible. It breaks my heart to even talk about it, but I can't continue to do this, or he'll outlive me, and then what! Sufficeth to say, Alzheimer's is a horrid disease!

I have been where you are with my Dad. He had Alzheimer's and some of the things your saying I can relate too. I was studying for a law degree when my dad had Alzheimer's, at first he wasn't too bad, my mum would watch him when I was studying and when I was needed, she would ring. It was manageable at first but then got harder and harder and I could not do both, in the end I decided to give up study as he was more important and my mum could never cope.

I've worked in many difficult jobs with long hours and sometimes even worked from Saturday morning through to Monday afternoon doing engineering but looking after Dad with my Mum was the hardest thing I've ever done. I refused to let my Dad go into a home but not everyone can prevent this especially if there is no help.

Try to get him into a routine as much as possible, you need heaps of patience and a break to recharge. When it got really bad I had to stop and think, If I'm struggling with it what is it doing to him. Sometimes it would take me 30-40 minutes just to get him down the stairs after showering him and changing his clothes. It is heart breaking.

Take care Sister, my prayers are with you.

 

[pgp_protector]

I HATE !! Alzheimer's.
Wife has Late onset Alzheimer's early / mid stages right now.
For the most part she's still functional (Downstairs right now cooking chilly)

But later tonight when the Sundowners hits, never fun.
And after reading on it, to know what's instore for us in the future

(I'd really love to use a few choice words, but can't afford the warnings )

 

[SANTOSO]

The difficulty like Alzheimer that come to many caregivers can be a real challenge physically, mentally, emotionally and financially.

But this is what we have heard our Lord Jesus Christ have said :

Then the King will say to those on his right, 'Come, you who are blessed by my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. -Matthew 25:34

For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, -Matthew 25:35

I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me.' -Matthew 25:36

And the King will answer them, 'Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to Me.' -Matthew 25:40


May all caregivers remember His word to you in which He have made you hope.
May this be your comfort in your affliction, that His promise gives you life.