I'm confused and guilty and I'm not sure what to do or how to feel

[Rescued One]

Hey everyone. I'm pretty new to this thread, so I'm sorry in advance for such a heavy question, but I think insights from other Christians might really help and somewhat calm the storm inside me.

I'm in a bit of a tough spot in my faith and I'm not really sure how to handle it. I don't have a lot of Christians in my life, so it's hard to know to to turn to in times of trial. This might be a longer post, so I'll probably post a tl;dr version at the end for those who don't want to/don't have the time to read it all.

I was born and raised Catholic, and considered myself a Catholic for most of my life. I was baptized and confirmed into the Catholic church, and went to church every Sunday. However, I never took my faith very seriously. Until a few years ago, I didn't even own a Bible, I didn't pray on a regular basis, and I basically just went through the motions of a Catholic life without really committing myself to God and entrusting my salvation to Jesus.

I've made some changes since then. About the time I started University, I began realizing the need for Christ to be an active part of my life, and to guide me. It was a turning point in my faith, and I was completely invested, as "new Christians" usually are. It would still rise and fall from time to time, but I've kept true to my beliefs and to God. I now pray on a regular basis, and am trying to keep in the habit of reading my Bible consistently.

Here's where the actual problem starts. I don't want to be a Catholic anymore. I'm still a Christian, but I consider myself more non-denominational, because I don't know which denomination will best fit what I've learned and what I beleive. Here are my main issues with the Catholic church:

1. We pray to saints. I know we're not using them as idles, but rather as mediators, but Jesus is the only mediator between Man and God. The Bible says this in 1 Timothy 2:5 " For there is one God, and there is one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus". I don't believe that there is any benefit from praying to Saints. I don't if I'd call it sacrilegious, as that's a bit far, but it feels like a wasted prayer. We're only supposed to pray to God our Father and Jesus Christ as our mediator with the Father, since they're one in the same.

2. Many Catholics believe in purgatory. We don't talk about purgatory in church very often, but apparently it's still an accepted belief in the Catholic church. The need for purgatory, or a place of repentance would make Jesus' death meaningless, because it would mean that his death did not cleanse us of our sins and make us righteous in the eyes of God.

3. The Catholic church believes that confession is necessary. If you want to confess, go for it. It's good to confess your sins, but the Catholic church seems to promote that as the only way to be forgiven. I believe we can confess to God directly and He will still hear us. Also, Catholics priests give us penance to complete, like saying 8 Hail Marys. I find that wrong because it's praying to someone other than God, but also doesn't make anyone reflect on their sins or correctional actions. If you've sinned against someone, you should make it right with that person, and if you've sinned against God, make it right with God. Something about just saying the prayer 8 times and hope that makes it all okay is misguided to me, like there doesn't have to be real repentance involved. It certainly can and should be, and I'm sure many Catholics do take a confessional practice very seriously, but going through the motions is a possibility without much reflection.

So, those are a few reasons I'm distancing myself from Catholicism. I live in a house where my religion is a bit unsupported. My father is agnostic and very cynical about the existence of God. He believes in something greater than us, but not necessarily God. My mother is a non-practicing "paper Catholic". Like me, she was born and raised Catholic, she went through the motions and she still considers herself Catholic. However, she doesn't go to church, never reads the Bible, and the title seems to be all that matters. Please be clear that I'm not trying to put down my mother, but outlining the environment in which I live. My boyfriend of a year and a half is Baptist. I've been to his church and I really like it there. It's always very lively and people are much more friendly and social than my church, where people find their usual spot sit down, and then leave when mass is over. His entire family is Baptist and it's a very supportive environment. He can talk to his parents about religion, and discuss it without starting an argument or debate, and I want that so badly, but it's something that I don't have in my home environment. Being with him and his family has really helped me grow in my faith and explore other denominations and their practices, and I've never had the opportunity to do that before.

Ever since I began practicing my faith a few years back, my Mother has been asking why I became such a "Bible Thumper". If I ever do or say something that she doesn't approve of, she'll say that I'm not a good Christian like I pretend to be. Now that I'm trying to switch denominations, she hates it. The way she sees it, if I'm born and raised Catholic, I should always be Catholic, no matter what, don't even question it. She refuses to question anything and thinks it's wrong to do so, and she doesn't want me to be anything but Catholic. She thinks that my idea on changing denominations is because I'm piggybacking off someone else's faith, but I'm actually learning and growing in my own decisions.

I still technically belong to a Catholic church, but my boyfriend and I are looking into a new church. We've visited an Anglican church, next week we're going to a Baptist church, and we're also willing to look at Lutheran churches as a possibility. We're researching these denominations together and we're trying to find a good fit for both of us.

Today I didn't go to church. My boyfriend is working so we couldn't go together, and I was physically exhausted and wanted the extra sleep before I work this afternoon. I realize that it isn't a great or valid reason for missing church, but I took time to pray to God and ask him to help me get my faith in order and guide me in my faith journey.

My Oma (grandmother) who usually goes to church with me, since my parents don't go anymore, was criticizing me after she went to church. She was calling me lazy for not going without any good reason besides wanting extra sleep, and telling me that again, I'm not a good Christian and can't "pretend" that I'm serious about my faith. I told her that I'm still reading my Bible, but she said that doesn't matter at all because I'm not receiving the Eucharist, so obviously I'm not a very good Christian.

When I do go to the Catholic church however, my mother will tell me that I'm a hypocrite because I say I'm not a Catholic but still go to a Catholic church. Because I'm baptized and confirmed as a Catholic, my Oma says that I am legally a Catholic, and unless I'm baptized into another church, I will still be a Catholic and my mother absolutely hates the idea of me getting re-baptized as anything else, even though I feel like a second baptism and a new start with Christ would be a good thing. So now I'm here. I feel guilty for missing church, but I'm still not sure if I should still go to that church.

Tl;dr I'm SO torn because I don't want to be a Catholic anymore, but I don't know which Christian denomination I want to commit to yet. I live in a home without any spiritual support, and my mother hates that I want to be any other denomination, so she puts me down based on that. I'm trying to find a new church with my boyfriend, but we haven't made any final decisions yet. I'm criticized when I go to our family (Catholic) church, I'm criticized when I don't, so I constantly feel guilty whether I go or don't go. I'm trying to figure EVERYTHING out, but I don't know what to do or how to feel and whenever I make ANY decision or have any realization, I'm met with criticism from someone in my family telling me why I'm wrong. What should I do?

I agree with a lot of what you're saying! And I understand the situation you're in. My mother talks about God but has only been to church about three or four times in my life. She never read(past tense) her Bible. Then she lost it. She said she'd like to have one. My husband bought her a large print one. She thinks it was so sweet of him, but she won't read it. She told me that she touched it lovingly one day. She doesn't even know one verse in it! My father was an atheist.

I was about your age when I joined the Mormon church. I didn't know anything about the Bible then and when I was in the Mormon church, we were encouraged to read the Book of Mormon everyday. I stayed in that religion for years, until I became so miserable that I started reading my Bible and God opened my eyes! Because I live in the United States, I can't advise about churches in your country. But rather than point someone to a specific church, I prefer to say keep reading your Bible and keep praying to God. He'll work things out for you. Be brave. I use to feel so sad that my siblings and others didn't want anything to do with God. Now I remind myself of God's love for me and all my blessings, and believe that He has planned my life this way for a reason. Maybe His reason is for me to encourage others who are in the same boat. God bless you and give you peace.

 

[NothingIsImpossible]

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[Kay_asmith]

Well, it's a nice church, but it's pretty far from me. I don't drive yet, or have access to a car that I could use on a regular basis, so I can't get there without him. He doesn't really have a problem with his church, but I think he also wouldn't mind finding a new church, somewhere that we choose together. He's told me before that he goes to his family church out of obligation at this point, and he's willing to try new churches so we can figure out where we feel a sense of belonging, and be re-baptized together. We're both working on finding ourselves in Christ, but the constant guilt trips and barrage of questions on my end is a bit much to deal with every day.

I really appreciate your insight on my family. You're right, they really don't understand, and I don't think they want to. My Mom just really doesn't want me to change anything, even though this change is something I feel led to by Christ. It's just that going through it is taking some time and proving to be rather difficult at times.

I think you are in the right direction; desiring a change. Not everyone will agree with your decision, eventually, it will be down to you and your creator.
One thing i need you to never forget is that if you believe wrongly, you will live wrongly. Secondly, there are many voices in your life and you need to learn to understand which is of the Lord. You have to spend more time with the Lord praying, worshiping and studying His word. Importantly, you need to build a relationship with the Holy Spirit (Read John 16), He will lead you into all the truth you need to know.

The Lord is your strength.

 

[Petermn]

Sounds just like me goldenRule.
I became Catholic, then left and joined the Baptist church, after a while it felt that something was missing, went back to the Catholic church, wow, good to be back. If you want to leave Catholic church do so, God isnt going to judge you by what method you worship. I now attend Catholic and one evangelical church, my Priest knows and is ok with this. Dont fret too much, just praise Him. God Loves you and doesnt want you to worry about this stuff. Take no notice of humans who tell you this that or the other church is good bad or indifferent, follow your heart,, God Bless

 

[Hammster]

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[A Fellow Seeker]

I know many former Catholics for the very reasons you list. Once they started reading the Bible they found many questions. They found they were worshiping the Catholic Church more than God.

I was raised Baptist but consider myself nondenominational because I choose to make my own decisions on what to believe in. I read what the Bible says and also research what the words in the original Hebrew or Greek meant. Then I decide.

Going to church is not required in the Bible. But it really helps with keeping you on the right path and away from life's temptations. It also helps you find Christian friends to talk to and associate with.

Baptist church's do recognize the baptism of other Protestant churches if they were immersed or dunked. But I do not know of any that recognizes child baptisms or sprinklings. So you should be able to be baptized. They do not believe God condemns children below the age of responsibility, nor that parents can make those choices for you - it has to be YOUR choice.

Since you do not drive I suggest using times you do not go to church with your boyfriend to visit Baptist churches closer to where you are living. I also suggest visiting Church of Christ churches which is very much the same. The most noticeable difference is they do communion at every service. As a former catholic you may be more comfortable with that. Perhaps you can visit churches that provide bus service with your boyfriend. Then if you like one of those you can get picked up by a bus every Sunday.

 

[jimbohank]

Hey everyone. I'm pretty new to this thread, so I'm sorry in advance for such a heavy question, but I think insights from other Christians might really help and somewhat calm the storm inside me.

I'm in a bit of a tough spot in my faith and I'm not really sure how to handle it. I don't have a lot of Christians in my life, so it's hard to know to to turn to in times of trial. This might be a longer post, so I'll probably post a tl;dr version at the end for those who don't want to/don't have the time to read it all.

I was born and raised Catholic, and considered myself a Catholic for most of my life. I was baptized and confirmed into the Catholic church, and went to church every Sunday. However, I never took my faith very seriously. Until a few years ago, I didn't even own a Bible, I didn't pray on a regular basis, and I basically just went through the motions of a Catholic life without really committing myself to God and entrusting my salvation to Jesus.

I've made some changes since then. About the time I started University, I began realizing the need for Christ to be an active part of my life, and to guide me. It was a turning point in my faith, and I was completely invested, as "new Christians" usually are. It would still rise and fall from time to time, but I've kept true to my beliefs and to God. I now pray on a regular basis, and am trying to keep in the habit of reading my Bible consistently.

Here's where the actual problem starts. I don't want to be a Catholic anymore. I'm still a Christian, but I consider myself more non-denominational, because I don't know which denomination will best fit what I've learned and what I beleive. Here are my main issues with the Catholic church:

1. We pray to saints. I know we're not using them as idles, but rather as mediators, but Jesus is the only mediator between Man and God. The Bible says this in 1 Timothy 2:5 " For there is one God, and there is one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus". I don't believe that there is any benefit from praying to Saints. I don't if I'd call it sacrilegious, as that's a bit far, but it feels like a wasted prayer. We're only supposed to pray to God our Father and Jesus Christ as our mediator with the Father, since they're one in the same.

2. Many Catholics believe in purgatory. We don't talk about purgatory in church very often, but apparently it's still an accepted belief in the Catholic church. The need for purgatory, or a place of repentance would make Jesus' death meaningless, because it would mean that his death did not cleanse us of our sins and make us righteous in the eyes of God.

3. The Catholic church believes that confession is necessary. If you want to confess, go for it. It's good to confess your sins, but the Catholic church seems to promote that as the only way to be forgiven. I believe we can confess to God directly and He will still hear us. Also, Catholics priests give us penance to complete, like saying 8 Hail Marys. I find that wrong because it's praying to someone other than God, but also doesn't make anyone reflect on their sins or correctional actions. If you've sinned against someone, you should make it right with that person, and if you've sinned against God, make it right with God. Something about just saying the prayer 8 times and hope that makes it all okay is misguided to me, like there doesn't have to be real repentance involved. It certainly can and should be, and I'm sure many Catholics do take a confessional practice very seriously, but going through the motions is a possibility without much reflection.

So, those are a few reasons I'm distancing myself from Catholicism. I live in a house where my religion is a bit unsupported. My father is agnostic and very cynical about the existence of God. He believes in something greater than us, but not necessarily God. My mother is a non-practicing "paper Catholic". Like me, she was born and raised Catholic, she went through the motions and she still considers herself Catholic. However, she doesn't go to church, never reads the Bible, and the title seems to be all that matters. Please be clear that I'm not trying to put down my mother, but outlining the environment in which I live. My boyfriend of a year and a half is Baptist. I've been to his church and I really like it there. It's always very lively and people are much more friendly and social than my church, where people find their usual spot sit down, and then leave when mass is over. His entire family is Baptist and it's a very supportive environment. He can talk to his parents about religion, and discuss it without starting an argument or debate, and I want that so badly, but it's something that I don't have in my home environment. Being with him and his family has really helped me grow in my faith and explore other denominations and their practices, and I've never had the opportunity to do that before.

Ever since I began practicing my faith a few years back, my Mother has been asking why I became such a "Bible Thumper". If I ever do or say something that she doesn't approve of, she'll say that I'm not a good Christian like I pretend to be. Now that I'm trying to switch denominations, she hates it. The way she sees it, if I'm born and raised Catholic, I should always be Catholic, no matter what, don't even question it. She refuses to question anything and thinks it's wrong to do so, and she doesn't want me to be anything but Catholic. She thinks that my idea on changing denominations is because I'm piggybacking off someone else's faith, but I'm actually learning and growing in my own decisions.

I still technically belong to a Catholic church, but my boyfriend and I are looking into a new church. We've visited an Anglican church, next week we're going to a Baptist church, and we're also willing to look at Lutheran churches as a possibility. We're researching these denominations together and we're trying to find a good fit for both of us.

Today I didn't go to church. My boyfriend is working so we couldn't go together, and I was physically exhausted and wanted the extra sleep before I work this afternoon. I realize that it isn't a great or valid reason for missing church, but I took time to pray to God and ask him to help me get my faith in order and guide me in my faith journey.

My Oma (grandmother) who usually goes to church with me, since my parents don't go anymore, was criticizing me after she went to church. She was calling me lazy for not going without any good reason besides wanting extra sleep, and telling me that again, I'm not a good Christian and can't "pretend" that I'm serious about my faith. I told her that I'm still reading my Bible, but she said that doesn't matter at all because I'm not receiving the Eucharist, so obviously I'm not a very good Christian.

When I do go to the Catholic church however, my mother will tell me that I'm a hypocrite because I say I'm not a Catholic but still go to a Catholic church. Because I'm baptized and confirmed as a Catholic, my Oma says that I am legally a Catholic, and unless I'm baptized into another church, I will still be a Catholic and my mother absolutely hates the idea of me getting re-baptized as anything else, even though I feel like a second baptism and a new start with Christ would be a good thing. So now I'm here. I feel guilty for missing church, but I'm still not sure if I should still go to that church.

Tl;dr I'm SO torn because I don't want to be a Catholic anymore, but I don't know which Christian denomination I want to commit to yet. I live in a home without any spiritual support, and my mother hates that I want to be any other denomination, so she puts me down based on that. I'm trying to find a new church with my boyfriend, but we haven't made any final decisions yet. I'm criticized when I go to our family (Catholic) church, I'm criticized when I don't, so I constantly feel guilty whether I go or don't go. I'm trying to figure EVERYTHING out, but I don't know what to do or how to feel and whenever I make ANY decision or have any realization, I'm met with criticism from someone in my family telling me why I'm wrong. What should I do?

I can understand your dilemma. My mother and my wife were both raised catholic, as were some of my friends growing up. I can recall, when I was about 12 years old, that on nights that I would sleep over at one of my friends house, his parents would take me to church with them. It was a small catholic church about 30 minutes from where we lived. At that time I had accepted Christ in my life at the church I attended, and I recall a big difference. I remember getting up to go for communion and his mom, very sternly and rudely, telling me to sit back down, that I am not allowed to take communion at her church since I was not catholic. At the time and for years I couldn't understand why she was so rude about it, but after many years of researching I completely understand. I won't get into all of that, it is long and exhaustive and not necessarily appropriate for this response.

My suggestion would be to remember that God seeks the heart...a sincere heart and knows what is sincere or not. Sometimes we can get confused about our sin and it's connection with His grace, thinking perhaps that if I repent knowing that I will sin again and more than likely do the same sin as that which I am confessing about, that He will not show us grace; that we are stuck there and cannot move forward. But God loves us as children when we sincerely seek Him. If my own child disobeys me I get upset and I punish them but I love them and could never forsake them. How much more graceful is our perfect Father? He loves us so much that He left His throne, walked with us and sacrificed Himself for us just so He can have a relationship with us. He doesn't need us, but more importantly wants us, wants a sincere relationship with us. I hear people talking about this church or that church but is that as important than the church that is us? Not to lessen the need to get the Word and support from "church" (the building), but we need to remember to always be in the Word ourselves, testing what is being presented in "the building". The Word is spoken to our heart and through reading it and asking for His understanding, knowledge and wisdom, we find so much more blessing from His Word than we ever can otherwise. Ask and He will give, trust and He will bless. We may not understand fully the giving of blessing but if we are sincere with Him, He will guide us until His return.

 

[Kobidobidog]

Hey everyone. I'm pretty new to this thread, so I'm sorry in advance for such a heavy question, but I think insights from other Christians might really help and somewhat calm the storm inside me.

I'm in a bit of a tough spot in my faith and I'm not really sure how to handle it. I don't have a lot of Christians in my life, so it's hard to know to to turn to in times of trial. This might be a longer post, so I'll probably post a tl;dr version at the end for those who don't want to/don't have the time to read it all.

I was born and raised Catholic, and considered myself a Catholic for most of my life. I was baptized and confirmed into the Catholic church, and went to church every Sunday. However, I never took my faith very seriously. Until a few years ago, I didn't even own a Bible, I didn't pray on a regular basis, and I basically just went through the motions of a Catholic life without really committing myself to God and entrusting my salvation to Jesus.

I've made some changes since then. About the time I started University, I began realizing the need for Christ to be an active part of my life, and to guide me. It was a turning point in my faith, and I was completely invested, as "new Christians" usually are. It would still rise and fall from time to time, but I've kept true to my beliefs and to God. I now pray on a regular basis, and am trying to keep in the habit of reading my Bible consistently.

Here's where the actual problem starts. I don't want to be a Catholic anymore. I'm still a Christian, but I consider myself more non-denominational, because I don't know which denomination will best fit what I've learned and what I beleive. Here are my main issues with the Catholic church:

1. We pray to saints. I know we're not using them as idles, but rather as mediators, but Jesus is the only mediator between Man and God. The Bible says this in 1 Timothy 2:5 " For there is one God, and there is one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus". I don't believe that there is any benefit from praying to Saints. I don't if I'd call it sacrilegious, as that's a bit far, but it feels like a wasted prayer. We're only supposed to pray to God our Father and Jesus Christ as our mediator with the Father, since they're one in the same.

2. Many Catholics believe in purgatory. We don't talk about purgatory in church very often, but apparently it's still an accepted belief in the Catholic church. The need for purgatory, or a place of repentance would make Jesus' death meaningless, because it would mean that his death did not cleanse us of our sins and make us righteous in the eyes of God.

3. The Catholic church believes that confession is necessary. If you want to confess, go for it. It's good to confess your sins, but the Catholic church seems to promote that as the only way to be forgiven. I believe we can confess to God directly and He will still hear us. Also, Catholics priests give us penance to complete, like saying 8 Hail Marys. I find that wrong because it's praying to someone other than God, but also doesn't make anyone reflect on their sins or correctional actions. If you've sinned against someone, you should make it right with that person, and if you've sinned against God, make it right with God. Something about just saying the prayer 8 times and hope that makes it all okay is misguided to me, like there doesn't have to be real repentance involved. It certainly can and should be, and I'm sure many Catholics do take a confessional practice very seriously, but going through the motions is a possibility without much reflection.

So, those are a few reasons I'm distancing myself from Catholicism. I live in a house where my religion is a bit unsupported. My father is agnostic and very cynical about the existence of God. He believes in something greater than us, but not necessarily God. My mother is a non-practicing "paper Catholic". Like me, she was born and raised Catholic, she went through the motions and she still considers herself Catholic. However, she doesn't go to church, never reads the Bible, and the title seems to be all that matters. Please be clear that I'm not trying to put down my mother, but outlining the environment in which I live. My boyfriend of a year and a half is Baptist. I've been to his church and I really like it there. It's always very lively and people are much more friendly and social than my church, where people find their usual spot sit down, and then leave when mass is over. His entire family is Baptist and it's a very supportive environment. He can talk to his parents about religion, and discuss it without starting an argument or debate, and I want that so badly, but it's something that I don't have in my home environment. Being with him and his family has really helped me grow in my faith and explore other denominations and their practices, and I've never had the opportunity to do that before.

Ever since I began practicing my faith a few years back, my Mother has been asking why I became such a "Bible Thumper". If I ever do or say something that she doesn't approve of, she'll say that I'm not a good Christian like I pretend to be. Now that I'm trying to switch denominations, she hates it. The way she sees it, if I'm born and raised Catholic, I should always be Catholic, no matter what, don't even question it. She refuses to question anything and thinks it's wrong to do so, and she doesn't want me to be anything but Catholic. She thinks that my idea on changing denominations is because I'm piggybacking off someone else's faith, but I'm actually learning and growing in my own decisions.

I still technically belong to a Catholic church, but my boyfriend and I are looking into a new church. We've visited an Anglican church, next week we're going to a Baptist church, and we're also willing to look at Lutheran churches as a possibility. We're researching these denominations together and we're trying to find a good fit for both of us.

Today I didn't go to church. My boyfriend is working so we couldn't go together, and I was physically exhausted and wanted the extra sleep before I work this afternoon. I realize that it isn't a great or valid reason for missing church, but I took time to pray to God and ask him to help me get my faith in order and guide me in my faith journey.

My Oma (grandmother) who usually goes to church with me, since my parents don't go anymore, was criticizing me after she went to church. She was calling me lazy for not going without any good reason besides wanting extra sleep, and telling me that again, I'm not a good Christian and can't "pretend" that I'm serious about my faith. I told her that I'm still reading my Bible, but she said that doesn't matter at all because I'm not receiving the Eucharist, so obviously I'm not a very good Christian.

When I do go to the Catholic church however, my mother will tell me that I'm a hypocrite because I say I'm not a Catholic but still go to a Catholic church. Because I'm baptized and confirmed as a Catholic, my Oma says that I am legally a Catholic, and unless I'm baptized into another church, I will still be a Catholic and my mother absolutely hates the idea of me getting re-baptized as anything else, even though I feel like a second baptism and a new start with Christ would be a good thing. So now I'm here. I feel guilty for missing church, but I'm still not sure if I should still go to that church.

Tl;dr I'm SO torn because I don't want to be a Catholic anymore, but I don't know which Christian denomination I want to commit to yet. I live in a home without any spiritual support, and my mother hates that I want to be any other denomination, so she puts me down based on that. I'm trying to find a new church with my boyfriend, but we haven't made any final decisions yet. I'm criticized when I go to our family (Catholic) church, I'm criticized when I don't, so I constantly feel guilty whether I go or don't go. I'm trying to figure EVERYTHING out, but I don't know what to do or how to feel and whenever I make ANY decision or have any realization, I'm met with criticism from someone in my family telling me why I'm wrong. What should I do?

It is good that you don’t pray to dead saints as they are called. Purgatory is a false teaching. Once to live and then the judgment. Wicked are burned up in God’s light all at one time after the second resurrection. They will be outside the city of God. Saved will be in the city of God. God forgives those that forgive debts that they cannot pay and people who trespass against you. We need to live peaceably with others as far as it is possible. Prayer is a positive thankful state of mind. Pray without ceasing. The body is a church for the Holy Spirit. God does not look at, legally. Christ is in you guiding you into all truth. Lucifer is he that gives guilt through people.

 

[Andrew B.]

I belong to a Catholic church. I confess to God. I pray to God as Jesus taught us. If a priest wants to hear my confession I give it to him. I do whatever penance he says. And when another Catholic prays with me aloud, I accept that he wants to ask Mary for intercession. But it's not my way. So when I pray aloud I don't do that. But I'm almost 70 years of age, so it's a lot easier for me. At your age people are more likely to get on your case.

If you want to understand the denominations better, there is a lecture series by Phillip Cary, Ph.D. called "The History of Christian Theology." It's available at The Great Courses website. It was a real eye-opener for me. It helped me understand the differences between the denominations and why they got that way. This might help you get started. But ultimately the final choice comes down to which church you like to go to, regardless of denomination. We are all Christians.

 

[Albion]

Hey everyone. I'm pretty new to this thread, so I'm sorry in advance for such a heavy question, but I think insights from other Christians might really help and somewhat calm the storm inside me.

Hi, Golden Rule. I'm glad that I chanced upon your post and I do think you described your situation very well.

First, you are old enough not to be cowed by your family member's complaints. That doesn't mean that you can avoid them necessarily, and they certainly are typical of nominal Catholics who were raised to believe that membership in the church is the most important thing, moreso than how one lives one's life or even how diligent a person is in following all the precepts of the church.

But at the least, I don't think you should give their treatment of you on this account any more deference than it deserves. I suspect that in time, and especially when you are more separated from them than you appear to be at present, they will come to grips with it.

Second, I agree with all the itemized points about doctrine you cannot accept, and most of the people in the churches you named as being under consideration by yourself and your boyfriend would readily agree, too. So far so good.

The one note that I'd caution you about is that none of these--Anglican or Lutheran (or Roman Catholic) believe that a re-baptism is right to do. Baptism is an indelible thing, even if one drifts away from the faith and later returns. The idea of another Baptismal ceremony is a typically Baptist, Pentecostal, or Bible Church kind of thing and is foreign to all of the churches you mentioned. The Anglicans and Lutherans all also accept your Catholic baptism as valid and will just transfer a membership, if you decide to go that way.

These churches are the ones that would be the most logical ones to explore, from all that you've said, so I hope you continue looking at them, worship there when possible, and quietly learn more, regardless of what your relatives say about it. Just be as little outspoken about it all as possible with them until it doesn't seem new to them anymore. That's what I'd recommend.

Incidentally, they are right about the Catholic Church continuing to count as members everyone baptized there UNLESS the church gets a notification of a transfer of membership to another Christian denomination. And that's not obligatory. In theory, they may still think of you as a Catholic, albeit a fallen away one, but there are millions of us after all and you can't worry about such a parochial view as that. It's their problem, not yours.

 

[rrobsr]

I believe 1 Corinthians 3 covers this.

1 Corinthians 3:4 For when one says, “I follow Paul,” and another, “I follow Apollos,” are you not mere human beings? 5 What, after all, is Apollos? And what is Paul? Only servants, through whom you came to believe—as the Lord has assigned to each his task. 6 I planted the seed, Apollos watered it, but God has been making it grow. 7 So neither the one who plants nor the one who waters is anything, but only God, who makes things grow. 8 The one who plants and the one who waters have one purpose, and they will each be rewarded according to their own labor. 9 For we are co-workers in God’s service; you are God’s field, God’s building.

In place of "Paul" and "Apollos" put "Catholic" and "Baptist", what do you get? That is why I am non denominational. It is not a denomination that saves me, it is Christ.

Couldn't have been said any better. You didn't say anything complicated. Pretty straight forward. This should have ended the thread. What more can be said beyond what the scriptures say? Instead the thread goes on and on with how people feel, or how they think, or how things seem, etc. Everything but the word. Sometimes I wonder about what Christians are being taught. It sure isn't the Bible.

I have no doubt but that this poor girl is having a hard time. What a pity. She goes to the churches expecting help. All she gets is disappointment. If the churches had taught her the Bible she would feel a lot better about herself. Then, instead of being full of fear, guilt, and doubt, she could go out and be a beautiful witness of Christ Jesus.

Mat 15:3: "But he answered and said unto them, Why do ye [religious leaders] also transgress the commandment of God by your tradition?"

It's every bit as true today as it was the day Jesus said this to the religious leaders of his time. The only thing that brings comfort to a person seeking God is the word and nothing but the word. Tradition binds, the word, the truth, sets people free. Thanks for your stand on that word! Light always dispels darkness. His word never returns void.

Isa 55:11: "So shall my word be that goeth forth out of my mouth: it shall not return unto me void, but it shall accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper in the thing whereto I sent it."

 

[zambiagirl]

Hey everyone. I'm pretty new to this thread, so I'm sorry in advance for such a heavy question, but I think insights from other Christians might really help and somewhat calm the storm inside me.

I'm in a bit of a tough spot in my faith and I'm not really sure how to handle it. I don't have a lot of Christians in my life, so it's hard to know to to turn to in times of trial. This might be a longer post, so I'll probably post a tl;dr version at the end for those who don't want to/don't have the time to read it all.

I was born and raised Catholic, and considered myself a Catholic for most of my life. I was baptized and confirmed into the Catholic church, and went to church every Sunday. However, I never took my faith very seriously. Until a few years ago, I didn't even own a Bible, I didn't pray on a regular basis, and I basically just went through the motions of a Catholic life without really committing myself to God and entrusting my salvation to Jesus.

I've made some changes since then. About the time I started University, I began realizing the need for Christ to be an active part of my life, and to guide me. It was a turning point in my faith, and I was completely invested, as "new Christians" usually are. It would still rise and fall from time to time, but I've kept true to my beliefs and to God. I now pray on a regular basis, and am trying to keep in the habit of reading my Bible consistently.

Here's where the actual problem starts. I don't want to be a Catholic anymore. I'm still a Christian, but I consider myself more non-denominational, because I don't know which denomination will best fit what I've learned and what I beleive. Here are my main issues with the Catholic church:

1. We pray to saints. I know we're not using them as idles, but rather as mediators, but Jesus is the only mediator between Man and God. The Bible says this in 1 Timothy 2:5 " For there is one God, and there is one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus". I don't believe that there is any benefit from praying to Saints. I don't if I'd call it sacrilegious, as that's a bit far, but it feels like a wasted prayer. We're only supposed to pray to God our Father and Jesus Christ as our mediator with the Father, since they're one in the same.

2. Many Catholics believe in purgatory. We don't talk about purgatory in church very often, but apparently it's still an accepted belief in the Catholic church. The need for purgatory, or a place of repentance would make Jesus' death meaningless, because it would mean that his death did not cleanse us of our sins and make us righteous in the eyes of God.

3. The Catholic church believes that confession is necessary. If you want to confess, go for it. It's good to confess your sins, but the Catholic church seems to promote that as the only way to be forgiven. I believe we can confess to God directly and He will still hear us. Also, Catholics priests give us penance to complete, like saying 8 Hail Marys. I find that wrong because it's praying to someone other than God, but also doesn't make anyone reflect on their sins or correctional actions. If you've sinned against someone, you should make it right with that person, and if you've sinned against God, make it right with God. Something about just saying the prayer 8 times and hope that makes it all okay is misguided to me, like there doesn't have to be real repentance involved. It certainly can and should be, and I'm sure many Catholics do take a confessional practice very seriously, but going through the motions is a possibility without much reflection.

So, those are a few reasons I'm distancing myself from Catholicism. I live in a house where my religion is a bit unsupported. My father is agnostic and very cynical about the existence of God. He believes in something greater than us, but not necessarily God. My mother is a non-practicing "paper Catholic". Like me, she was born and raised Catholic, she went through the motions and she still considers herself Catholic. However, she doesn't go to church, never reads the Bible, and the title seems to be all that matters. Please be clear that I'm not trying to put down my mother, but outlining the environment in which I live. My boyfriend of a year and a half is Baptist. I've been to his church and I really like it there. It's always very lively and people are much more friendly and social than my church, where people find their usual spot sit down, and then leave when mass is over. His entire family is Baptist and it's a very supportive environment. He can talk to his parents about religion, and discuss it without starting an argument or debate, and I want that so badly, but it's something that I don't have in my home environment. Being with him and his family has really helped me grow in my faith and explore other denominations and their practices, and I've never had the opportunity to do that before.

Ever since I began practicing my faith a few years back, my Mother has been asking why I became such a "Bible Thumper". If I ever do or say something that she doesn't approve of, she'll say that I'm not a good Christian like I pretend to be. Now that I'm trying to switch denominations, she hates it. The way she sees it, if I'm born and raised Catholic, I should always be Catholic, no matter what, don't even question it. She refuses to question anything and thinks it's wrong to do so, and she doesn't want me to be anything but Catholic. She thinks that my idea on changing denominations is because I'm piggybacking off someone else's faith, but I'm actually learning and growing in my own decisions.

I still technically belong to a Catholic church, but my boyfriend and I are looking into a new church. We've visited an Anglican church, next week we're going to a Baptist church, and we're also willing to look at Lutheran churches as a possibility. We're researching these denominations together and we're trying to find a good fit for both of us.

Today I didn't go to church. My boyfriend is working so we couldn't go together, and I was physically exhausted and wanted the extra sleep before I work this afternoon. I realize that it isn't a great or valid reason for missing church, but I took time to pray to God and ask him to help me get my faith in order and guide me in my faith journey.

My Oma (grandmother) who usually goes to church with me, since my parents don't go anymore, was criticizing me after she went to church. She was calling me lazy for not going without any good reason besides wanting extra sleep, and telling me that again, I'm not a good Christian and can't "pretend" that I'm serious about my faith. I told her that I'm still reading my Bible, but she said that doesn't matter at all because I'm not receiving the Eucharist, so obviously I'm not a very good Christian.

When I do go to the Catholic church however, my mother will tell me that I'm a hypocrite because I say I'm not a Catholic but still go to a Catholic church. Because I'm baptized and confirmed as a Catholic, my Oma says that I am legally a Catholic, and unless I'm baptized into another church, I will still be a Catholic and my mother absolutely hates the idea of me getting re-baptized as anything else, even though I feel like a second baptism and a new start with Christ would be a good thing. So now I'm here. I feel guilty for missing church, but I'm still not sure if I should still go to that church.

Tl;dr I'm SO torn because I don't want to be a Catholic anymore, but I don't know which Christian denomination I want to commit to yet. I live in a home without any spiritual support, and my mother hates that I want to be any other denomination, so she puts me down based on that. I'm trying to find a new church with my boyfriend, but we haven't made any final decisions yet. I'm criticized when I go to our family (Catholic) church, I'm criticized when I don't, so I constantly feel guilty whether I go or don't go. I'm trying to figure EVERYTHING out, but I don't know what to do or how to feel and whenever I make ANY decision or have any realization, I'm met with criticism from someone in my family telling me why I'm wrong. What should I do?

 

[Dr Bruce Atkinson]

Hey everyone. I'm pretty new to this thread, so I'm sorry in advance for such a heavy question, but I think insights from other Christians might really help and somewhat calm the storm inside me.

I'm in a bit of a tough spot in my faith and I'm not really sure how to handle it. I don't have a lot of Christians in my life, so it's hard to know to to turn to in times of trial. This might be a longer post, so I'll probably post a tl;dr version at the end for those who don't want to/don't have the time to read it all.

I was born and raised Catholic, and considered myself a Catholic for most of my life. I was baptized and confirmed into the Catholic church, and went to church every Sunday. However, I never took my faith very seriously. Until a few years ago, I didn't even own a Bible, I didn't pray on a regular basis, and I basically just went through the motions of a Catholic life without really committing myself to God and entrusting my salvation to Jesus.

I've made some changes since then. About the time I started University, I began realizing the need for Christ to be an active part of my life, and to guide me. It was a turning point in my faith, and I was completely invested, as "new Christians" usually are. It would still rise and fall from time to time, but I've kept true to my beliefs and to God. I now pray on a regular basis, and am trying to keep in the habit of reading my Bible consistently.

Here's where the actual problem starts. I don't want to be a Catholic anymore. I'm still a Christian, but I consider myself more non-denominational, because I don't know which denomination will best fit what I've learned and what I beleive. Here are my main issues with the Catholic church:

1. We pray to saints. I know we're not using them as idles, but rather as mediators, but Jesus is the only mediator between Man and God. The Bible says this in 1 Timothy 2:5 " For there is one God, and there is one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus". I don't believe that there is any benefit from praying to Saints. I don't if I'd call it sacrilegious, as that's a bit far, but it feels like a wasted prayer. We're only supposed to pray to God our Father and Jesus Christ as our mediator with the Father, since they're one in the same.

2. Many Catholics believe in purgatory. We don't talk about purgatory in church very often, but apparently it's still an accepted belief in the Catholic church. The need for purgatory, or a place of repentance would make Jesus' death meaningless, because it would mean that his death did not cleanse us of our sins and make us righteous in the eyes of God.

3. The Catholic church believes that confession is necessary. If you want to confess, go for it. It's good to confess your sins, but the Catholic church seems to promote that as the only way to be forgiven. I believe we can confess to God directly and He will still hear us. Also, Catholics priests give us penance to complete, like saying 8 Hail Marys. I find that wrong because it's praying to someone other than God, but also doesn't make anyone reflect on their sins or correctional actions. If you've sinned against someone, you should make it right with that person, and if you've sinned against God, make it right with God. Something about just saying the prayer 8 times and hope that makes it all okay is misguided to me, like there doesn't have to be real repentance involved. It certainly can and should be, and I'm sure many Catholics do take a confessional practice very seriously, but going through the motions is a possibility without much reflection.

So, those are a few reasons I'm distancing myself from Catholicism. I live in a house where my religion is a bit unsupported. My father is agnostic and very cynical about the existence of God. He believes in something greater than us, but not necessarily God. My mother is a non-practicing "paper Catholic". Like me, she was born and raised Catholic, she went through the motions and she still considers herself Catholic. However, she doesn't go to church, never reads the Bible, and the title seems to be all that matters. Please be clear that I'm not trying to put down my mother, but outlining the environment in which I live. My boyfriend of a year and a half is Baptist. I've been to his church and I really like it there. It's always very lively and people are much more friendly and social than my church, where people find their usual spot sit down, and then leave when mass is over. His entire family is Baptist and it's a very supportive environment. He can talk to his parents about religion, and discuss it without starting an argument or debate, and I want that so badly, but it's something that I don't have in my home environment. Being with him and his family has really helped me grow in my faith and explore other denominations and their practices, and I've never had the opportunity to do that before.

Ever since I began practicing my faith a few years back, my Mother has been asking why I became such a "Bible Thumper". If I ever do or say something that she doesn't approve of, she'll say that I'm not a good Christian like I pretend to be. Now that I'm trying to switch denominations, she hates it. The way she sees it, if I'm born and raised Catholic, I should always be Catholic, no matter what, don't even question it. She refuses to question anything and thinks it's wrong to do so, and she doesn't want me to be anything but Catholic. She thinks that my idea on changing denominations is because I'm piggybacking off someone else's faith, but I'm actually learning and growing in my own decisions.

I still technically belong to a Catholic church, but my boyfriend and I are looking into a new church. We've visited an Anglican church, next week we're going to a Baptist church, and we're also willing to look at Lutheran churches as a possibility. We're researching these denominations together and we're trying to find a good fit for both of us.

Today I didn't go to church. My boyfriend is working so we couldn't go together, and I was physically exhausted and wanted the extra sleep before I work this afternoon. I realize that it isn't a great or valid reason for missing church, but I took time to pray to God and ask him to help me get my faith in order and guide me in my faith journey.

My Oma (grandmother) who usually goes to church with me, since my parents don't go anymore, was criticizing me after she went to church. She was calling me lazy for not going without any good reason besides wanting extra sleep, and telling me that again, I'm not a good Christian and can't "pretend" that I'm serious about my faith. I told her that I'm still reading my Bible, but she said that doesn't matter at all because I'm not receiving the Eucharist, so obviously I'm not a very good Christian.

When I do go to the Catholic church however, my mother will tell me that I'm a hypocrite because I say I'm not a Catholic but still go to a Catholic church. Because I'm baptized and confirmed as a Catholic, my Oma says that I am legally a Catholic, and unless I'm baptized into another church, I will still be a Catholic and my mother absolutely hates the idea of me getting re-baptized as anything else, even though I feel like a second baptism and a new start with Christ would be a good thing. So now I'm here. I feel guilty for missing church, but I'm still not sure if I should still go to that church.

Tl;dr I'm SO torn because I don't want to be a Catholic anymore, but I don't know which Christian denomination I want to commit to yet. I live in a home without any spiritual support, and my mother hates that I want to be any other denomination, so she puts me down based on that. I'm trying to find a new church with my boyfriend, but we haven't made any final decisions yet. I'm criticized when I go to our family (Catholic) church, I'm criticized when I don't, so I constantly feel guilty whether I go or don't go. I'm trying to figure EVERYTHING out, but I don't know what to do or how to feel and whenever I make ANY decision or have any realization, I'm met with criticism from someone in my family telling me why I'm wrong. What should I do?

Yes, keep trying out churches. It is a great education in Christianity and increases your options. Everything you have discovered wrong with the Roman Catholic Church, the Reformers protested against in the 16th Century. The Catholic Church doubled down on these things at the Council of Trent so it caused many believers to leave Rome's dominance and ecclesiastic rule. So check first with those churches formed early in the Reformation process (Lutheranism, Anglicanism, Reformed churches, etc.). If you like Catholic liturgy, you will probably like orthodox Anglicanism (like the Anglican Church in North America), but forget the Episcopal Church because it has gone apostate, with most of its leaders no longer believing the scriptures and instead following PC secular values.

 

[Goodbook]

I just wanted to add the guilt and confusion OP is feeling is not of God. If someone is making you feel guilty because you dont go to THEIR church, thats like blackmail.

We may feel convicted, but the holy spirit does not go about condemning us.
God is also not the author of confusion.

So please recognise this feelings for what they are and dismiss them.

[Staff edit].

 

[frettr00]

You should definitely do your research and find out why Catholics believe what they believe, then make a decision. I'm sure you would find answers to your concerns.

 

[Kapusta]

Think about the Orthodox church. Catholic, but not "Catholic." Some of the same issues you have with Saints and Mary, but at least you'll get good answers to your questions about these issues. Some of your Catholicism issues have never been Orthodox issues.

BTW, was born/raised Catholic, became an educated agnostic/atheist, then a practicing protestant, and finally Orthodox (over 15 years now). Try reading Metropolitan Kallistos Ware's "The Orthodox Church."

God bless you on your journey!

 

[Norbert L]

Tl;dr I'm SO torn because I don't want to be a Catholic anymore, but I don't know which Christian denomination I want to commit to yet. ... What should I do?

I read your whole post the other day but I didn't really have anything that wasn't already said or to add. Now I do.

I was on youtube watching some videos and one gave some general advice that talks about committing to a church in general. It reminded me of your post. Here it is and from my experience one of the more important points he makes starts around the 7:28 time.

 

[marineimaging]

Hey everyone. I'm pretty new to this thread, so I'm sorry in advance for such a heavy question, but I think insights from other Christians might really help and somewhat calm the storm inside me.

I'm in a bit of a tough spot in my faith and I'm not really sure how to handle it. I don't have a lot of Christians in my life, so it's hard to know to to turn to in times of trial. This might be a longer post, so I'll probably post a tl;dr version at the end for those who don't want to/don't have the time to read it all.

I was born and raised Catholic, and considered myself a Catholic for most of my life. I was baptized and confirmed into the Catholic church, and went to church every Sunday. However, I never took my faith very seriously. Until a few years ago, I didn't even own a Bible, I didn't pray on a regular basis, and I basically just went through the motions of a Catholic life without really committing myself to God and entrusting my salvation to Jesus.

I've made some changes since then. About the time I started University, I began realizing the need for Christ to be an active part of my life, and to guide me. It was a turning point in my faith, and I was completely invested, as "new Christians" usually are. It would still rise and fall from time to time, but I've kept true to my beliefs and to God. I now pray on a regular basis, and am trying to keep in the habit of reading my Bible consistently.

Here's where the actual problem starts. I don't want to be a Catholic anymore. I'm still a Christian, but I consider myself more non-denominational, because I don't know which denomination will best fit what I've learned and what I beleive. Here are my main issues with the Catholic church:

1. We pray to saints. I know we're not using them as idles, but rather as mediators, but Jesus is the only mediator between Man and God. The Bible says this in 1 Timothy 2:5 " For there is one God, and there is one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus". I don't believe that there is any benefit from praying to Saints. I don't if I'd call it sacrilegious, as that's a bit far, but it feels like a wasted prayer. We're only supposed to pray to God our Father and Jesus Christ as our mediator with the Father, since they're one in the same.

2. Many Catholics believe in purgatory. We don't talk about purgatory in church very often, but apparently it's still an accepted belief in the Catholic church. The need for purgatory, or a place of repentance would make Jesus' death meaningless, because it would mean that his death did not cleanse us of our sins and make us righteous in the eyes of God.

3. The Catholic church believes that confession is necessary. If you want to confess, go for it. It's good to confess your sins, but the Catholic church seems to promote that as the only way to be forgiven. I believe we can confess to God directly and He will still hear us. Also, Catholics priests give us penance to complete, like saying 8 Hail Marys. I find that wrong because it's praying to someone other than God, but also doesn't make anyone reflect on their sins or correctional actions. If you've sinned against someone, you should make it right with that person, and if you've sinned against God, make it right with God. Something about just saying the prayer 8 times and hope that makes it all okay is misguided to me, like there doesn't have to be real repentance involved. It certainly can and should be, and I'm sure many Catholics do take a confessional practice very seriously, but going through the motions is a possibility without much reflection.

So, those are a few reasons I'm distancing myself from Catholicism. I live in a house where my religion is a bit unsupported. My father is agnostic and very cynical about the existence of God. He believes in something greater than us, but not necessarily God. My mother is a non-practicing "paper Catholic". Like me, she was born and raised Catholic, she went through the motions and she still considers herself Catholic. However, she doesn't go to church, never reads the Bible, and the title seems to be all that matters. Please be clear that I'm not trying to put down my mother, but outlining the environment in which I live. My boyfriend of a year and a half is Baptist. I've been to his church and I really like it there. It's always very lively and people are much more friendly and social than my church, where people find their usual spot sit down, and then leave when mass is over. His entire family is Baptist and it's a very supportive environment. He can talk to his parents about religion, and discuss it without starting an argument or debate, and I want that so badly, but it's something that I don't have in my home environment. Being with him and his family has really helped me grow in my faith and explore other denominations and their practices, and I've never had the opportunity to do that before.

Ever since I began practicing my faith a few years back, my Mother has been asking why I became such a "Bible Thumper". If I ever do or say something that she doesn't approve of, she'll say that I'm not a good Christian like I pretend to be. Now that I'm trying to switch denominations, she hates it. The way she sees it, if I'm born and raised Catholic, I should always be Catholic, no matter what, don't even question it. She refuses to question anything and thinks it's wrong to do so, and she doesn't want me to be anything but Catholic. She thinks that my idea on changing denominations is because I'm piggybacking off someone else's faith, but I'm actually learning and growing in my own decisions.

I still technically belong to a Catholic church, but my boyfriend and I are looking into a new church. We've visited an Anglican church, next week we're going to a Baptist church, and we're also willing to look at Lutheran churches as a possibility. We're researching these denominations together and we're trying to find a good fit for both of us.

Today I didn't go to church. My boyfriend is working so we couldn't go together, and I was physically exhausted and wanted the extra sleep before I work this afternoon. I realize that it isn't a great or valid reason for missing church, but I took time to pray to God and ask him to help me get my faith in order and guide me in my faith journey.

My Oma (grandmother) who usually goes to church with me, since my parents don't go anymore, was criticizing me after she went to church. She was calling me lazy for not going without any good reason besides wanting extra sleep, and telling me that again, I'm not a good Christian and can't "pretend" that I'm serious about my faith. I told her that I'm still reading my Bible, but she said that doesn't matter at all because I'm not receiving the Eucharist, so obviously I'm not a very good Christian.

When I do go to the Catholic church however, my mother will tell me that I'm a hypocrite because I say I'm not a Catholic but still go to a Catholic church. Because I'm baptized and confirmed as a Catholic, my Oma says that I am legally a Catholic, and unless I'm baptized into another church, I will still be a Catholic and my mother absolutely hates the idea of me getting re-baptized as anything else, even though I feel like a second baptism and a new start with Christ would be a good thing. So now I'm here. I feel guilty for missing church, but I'm still not sure if I should still go to that church.

Tl;dr I'm SO torn because I don't want to be a Catholic anymore, but I don't know which Christian denomination I want to commit to yet. I live in a home without any spiritual support, and my mother hates that I want to be any other denomination, so she puts me down based on that. I'm trying to find a new church with my boyfriend, but we haven't made any final decisions yet. I'm criticized when I go to our family (Catholic) church, I'm criticized when I don't, so I constantly feel guilty whether I go or don't go. I'm trying to figure EVERYTHING out, but I don't know what to do or how to feel and whenever I make ANY decision or have any realization, I'm met with criticism from someone in my family telling me why I'm wrong. What should I do?

I once heard a Catholic priest say, "Give us your child until they are 5 and we will send them home as a Catholic for life." The indoctrination into catholicism starts at infancy and goes on forever. You can't turn your back on the church becasue the Pope is watching you. Excommunication is the sure key to the gates to hell and you can't leave the church or you will go to hell sure as the Pope is watching you.

 

[toLiJC]

Hey everyone. I'm pretty new to this thread, so I'm sorry in advance for such a heavy question, but I think insights from other Christians might really help and somewhat calm the storm inside me.

I'm in a bit of a tough spot in my faith and I'm not really sure how to handle it. I don't have a lot of Christians in my life, so it's hard to know to to turn to in times of trial. This might be a longer post, so I'll probably post a tl;dr version at the end for those who don't want to/don't have the time to read it all.

I was born and raised Catholic, and considered myself a Catholic for most of my life. I was baptized and confirmed into the Catholic church, and went to church every Sunday. However, I never took my faith very seriously. Until a few years ago, I didn't even own a Bible, I didn't pray on a regular basis, and I basically just went through the motions of a Catholic life without really committing myself to God and entrusting my salvation to Jesus.

I've made some changes since then. About the time I started University, I began realizing the need for Christ to be an active part of my life, and to guide me. It was a turning point in my faith, and I was completely invested, as "new Christians" usually are. It would still rise and fall from time to time, but I've kept true to my beliefs and to God. I now pray on a regular basis, and am trying to keep in the habit of reading my Bible consistently.

Here's where the actual problem starts. I don't want to be a Catholic anymore. I'm still a Christian, but I consider myself more non-denominational, because I don't know which denomination will best fit what I've learned and what I beleive. Here are my main issues with the Catholic church:

1. We pray to saints. I know we're not using them as idles, but rather as mediators, but Jesus is the only mediator between Man and God. The Bible says this in 1 Timothy 2:5 " For there is one God, and there is one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus". I don't believe that there is any benefit from praying to Saints. I don't if I'd call it sacrilegious, as that's a bit far, but it feels like a wasted prayer. We're only supposed to pray to God our Father and Jesus Christ as our mediator with the Father, since they're one in the same.

2. Many Catholics believe in purgatory. We don't talk about purgatory in church very often, but apparently it's still an accepted belief in the Catholic church. The need for purgatory, or a place of repentance would make Jesus' death meaningless, because it would mean that his death did not cleanse us of our sins and make us righteous in the eyes of God.

3. The Catholic church believes that confession is necessary. If you want to confess, go for it. It's good to confess your sins, but the Catholic church seems to promote that as the only way to be forgiven. I believe we can confess to God directly and He will still hear us. Also, Catholics priests give us penance to complete, like saying 8 Hail Marys. I find that wrong because it's praying to someone other than God, but also doesn't make anyone reflect on their sins or correctional actions. If you've sinned against someone, you should make it right with that person, and if you've sinned against God, make it right with God. Something about just saying the prayer 8 times and hope that makes it all okay is misguided to me, like there doesn't have to be real repentance involved. It certainly can and should be, and I'm sure many Catholics do take a confessional practice very seriously, but going through the motions is a possibility without much reflection.

So, those are a few reasons I'm distancing myself from Catholicism. I live in a house where my religion is a bit unsupported. My father is agnostic and very cynical about the existence of God. He believes in something greater than us, but not necessarily God. My mother is a non-practicing "paper Catholic". Like me, she was born and raised Catholic, she went through the motions and she still considers herself Catholic. However, she doesn't go to church, never reads the Bible, and the title seems to be all that matters. Please be clear that I'm not trying to put down my mother, but outlining the environment in which I live. My boyfriend of a year and a half is Baptist. I've been to his church and I really like it there. It's always very lively and people are much more friendly and social than my church, where people find their usual spot sit down, and then leave when mass is over. His entire family is Baptist and it's a very supportive environment. He can talk to his parents about religion, and discuss it without starting an argument or debate, and I want that so badly, but it's something that I don't have in my home environment. Being with him and his family has really helped me grow in my faith and explore other denominations and their practices, and I've never had the opportunity to do that before.

Ever since I began practicing my faith a few years back, my Mother has been asking why I became such a "Bible Thumper". If I ever do or say something that she doesn't approve of, she'll say that I'm not a good Christian like I pretend to be. Now that I'm trying to switch denominations, she hates it. The way she sees it, if I'm born and raised Catholic, I should always be Catholic, no matter what, don't even question it. She refuses to question anything and thinks it's wrong to do so, and she doesn't want me to be anything but Catholic. She thinks that my idea on changing denominations is because I'm piggybacking off someone else's faith, but I'm actually learning and growing in my own decisions.

I still technically belong to a Catholic church, but my boyfriend and I are looking into a new church. We've visited an Anglican church, next week we're going to a Baptist church, and we're also willing to look at Lutheran churches as a possibility. We're researching these denominations together and we're trying to find a good fit for both of us.

Today I didn't go to church. My boyfriend is working so we couldn't go together, and I was physically exhausted and wanted the extra sleep before I work this afternoon. I realize that it isn't a great or valid reason for missing church, but I took time to pray to God and ask him to help me get my faith in order and guide me in my faith journey.

My Oma (grandmother) who usually goes to church with me, since my parents don't go anymore, was criticizing me after she went to church. She was calling me lazy for not going without any good reason besides wanting extra sleep, and telling me that again, I'm not a good Christian and can't "pretend" that I'm serious about my faith. I told her that I'm still reading my Bible, but she said that doesn't matter at all because I'm not receiving the Eucharist, so obviously I'm not a very good Christian.

When I do go to the Catholic church however, my mother will tell me that I'm a hypocrite because I say I'm not a Catholic but still go to a Catholic church. Because I'm baptized and confirmed as a Catholic, my Oma says that I am legally a Catholic, and unless I'm baptized into another church, I will still be a Catholic and my mother absolutely hates the idea of me getting re-baptized as anything else, even though I feel like a second baptism and a new start with Christ would be a good thing. So now I'm here. I feel guilty for missing church, but I'm still not sure if I should still go to that church.

Tl;dr I'm SO torn because I don't want to be a Catholic anymore, but I don't know which Christian denomination I want to commit to yet. I live in a home without any spiritual support, and my mother hates that I want to be any other denomination, so she puts me down based on that. I'm trying to find a new church with my boyfriend, but we haven't made any final decisions yet. I'm criticized when I go to our family (Catholic) church, I'm criticized when I don't, so I constantly feel guilty whether I go or don't go. I'm trying to figure EVERYTHING out, but I don't know what to do or how to feel and whenever I make ANY decision or have any realization, I'm met with criticism from someone in my family telling me why I'm wrong. What should I do?

in my case it has turned out that i have to hold myself back from all sects, and it has been best for me, because thus i has found the true Lord God, though there is still much for me to achieve (including in this regard), but as compared to God i don't know what exactly is/will be better and best for you

Blessings

 

[geiroffenberg]

Your mom is obviously projectting her guilt on you for not being a "good enough" christian, probably she was raised religiously.
Your oma have no idea what she is talking about. She fears you finding God otuside of her own set rules and thereby expose her shallow faith. We dont have to judge them but we need to recognize what spirit is behind their words. Family is often the greatest obsticle in spiritual progress.
Your goal in your searching should be to have a inner communion with God - and that has nothing to do with churches and communion rites, they are jus there to help os as signposts, its not the goal. And whatever takes you there, whatever denomination or non denomination (none of the apostles found God in a church) that gets you there, is where you need to be.