Was he begotten as in his mind? He thought it out to have a son? I mean from what I understand you believe that God has always existed as he is now. Nothing more or nothing less. You beleive that the Son has always existed but was not the Father but was one with the Father. Yet there is only one God. How was Jesus begotten. Why does begotten in the bible different for us than God?
The term "begotten" speaks of the Father as Jesus' Source or Origin, the Son is from or of the Father, but not as a creature, and not as a human son is from or of his human father. It speaks to a fundamentally greater reality than we can fully comprehend.
Here is how Fr. Hans Urs von Balthasar in his word
Credo puts it,
"
That he is Father we know in utmost fullness from Jesus Christ, who constantly makes loving, thankful, and reverent reference to him as his Origin. It is because he bears fruit out of himself and requires no fructifying that he is called Father, and not in the sexual sense, for he will be the Creator of man and woman, and thus contains the primal qualities of woman in himself in the same simultaneously transcending way as those of man. (The Greek gennad can imply both siring and bearing, as can the word for to come into being: ginomai.) Jesus’ words indicate that this fruitful self-surrender by the primal Origin has neither beginning nor end: It is a perpetual occurrence in which essence and activity coincide. Herein lies the most unfathomable aspect of the Mystery of God: that what is absolutely primal is no statically self-contained and comprehensible reality, but one that exists solely in dispensing itself: a flowing wellspring with no holding-trough beneath it, an act of procreation with no seminal vesicle, with no organism at all to perform the act. In the pure act of self-pouring-forth, God the Father is his self, or, if one wishes, a “person” (in a transcending way)."
And later
"
That God is Father also means that he has a child. We transient creatures are not this child that God must have if he is to be called Father. There are billions of us, and none of us has a permanence that might be even remotely comparable to that of God. No, in order to be called Father, one who surrenders himself eternally, God must have a “single,” “only begotten” Son. (We call him Son, and not Daughter, because he will appear in the world as male, and will do so in order to represent to us the authority of the fruitful fatherly Origin.) Christianity stands or falls with this assertion that there is an inner-divine fruitfulness (the Spirit will be named in the immediately following article), for if God is not in himself love, then, in order to be love, he would need the world, and that would spell the end of his divinity—or we would have to characterize ourselves as part of God and thus ascribe necessity to ourselves."
God's existence is more than just a mere static existence, rather God is also His Act; the Act of the Son's generation is intrinsic to God's own Self, it is fundamentally the way in which God is God. God flows from God, Light emits Light. The interior Divine Activity--the generation of the Son and the procession of the Spirit--is the way in which God is God. The Father begets the Son, the Son is begotten of the Father, and the Holy Spirit proceeds. There is Love in its Source, Love in its Outpouring, and the Union of Both; Lover, Beloved, and the Bond of Love. Or as St. Augustine puts it:
"
But what is love or charity, which divine Scripture so greatly praises and proclaims, except the love of good? But love is of some one that loves, and with love something is loved. Behold, then, there are three things: he that loves, and that which is loved, and love." - St. Augustine, On the Trinity, Book VIII.14
For it could not be that God is love unless there is an object to love; is the love of God selfish--then the divine revelation of love in Scripture fails, is the object of God's love His creation? Then God could not be love without the extradivine world of His creation. But rather God is love, and this love is intradivine, between Father, Son, and Holy Spirit; this love is bound up in God's way of being God, having never begun and without end. The Father has so loved the Son, never having begun to love, but this love having always been, for it is God being God to love.
And so we have, in the Incarnation--in the sending of the Son and Logos who becomes flesh--who suffers for us and dies for us; not something new added to Who God is. We have instead the
revelation of what it means for God to be God; God is God because He, in the words of Herbert McCabe, "throws Himself away in love."
-CryptoLutheran