Is ok to ignore people?

[Goodbook]

Just wondering, is this is practising detachment.
Because if you engage, find yourself trying to constantly having to explain yourself as you not on the same page. But the other person just wants to dump problems on to you and vent instead of going to God.

How can you detach in a christian manner...do you say...talk to the hand...? God is up all night to listen to your problems? Or...see you in church?

 

[Goodbook]

I mean they not asking for advice they just being verbally diarrheoa.
Im not talking about any of you here. You guys genuinely want help and advice.

 

[BabylonWeary]

Is this like to ask if people complain to you about things beyond your control?

 

[janny108]

Just wondering, is this is practising detachment.
Because if you engage, find yourself trying to constantly having to explain yourself as you not on the same page. But the other person just wants to dump problems on to you and vent instead of going to God.

How can you detach in a christian manner...do you say...talk to the hand...? God is up all night to listen to your problems? Or...see you in church?

sometimes it's best to say nothing, and that can speak louder than words anyways.

 

[janny108]

I just read a post by my bro in law who can be obnoxious in his "intellectual" way. He's on vacation in the mountains with my sister and he is writing like I'll be back on facebook when my "please murder me" button is not getting so pushed. Well! I ignore this kind of stuff!

 

[Johnnz]

Jesus shows us engagement with people. We are to follow in His footsteps. Than does require some real effort to learn how better to communicate with other people. But we care enough todo that because we have Christ's love for them made real by the indwelling Holy Spirit.

John
NZ

 

[Goodbook]

Is this like to ask if people complain to you about things beyond your control?

Kinda.
What do you do?

 

[BFine]

LOL @ Verbal diarrhea...I haven't heard
that one since I moved away from the USA!

 

[BFine]

Being overloaded with verbal diarrhea(lol!)?
I tell them it's best to take that to the
Lord and tell Him all about it... He is the
only One who can really help.

Or refer them to this scripture:
Matthew 11:27-29
"All things have been handed over to Me by
My Father; and no one knows the Son except
the Father; nor does anyone know the Father except the Son, and anyone to whom the Son wills to reveal Him."

"Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest."

"Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me,
for I am gentle and humble in heart, and
YOU WILL FIND REST FOR YOUR SOULS."

 

[LoricaLady]

This is no doubt not really Christian advice, but here is what I have personally seen will cause people to want to get up and say "See ya later!" That is, start talking about yourself! Of course before that offer prayer and any Christian advice or comfort you feel inspired of the Holy Spirit to give. Let them vent to a certain extent.

But if the vent time for the other person seems to just be nonproductive for him or her and a downer for you, here are some examples of things you might say.

"You know, I can sorta identify with that problem. Once when I was a little girl I remember....blah blah blah."

"Yeal, that is a difficult thing. I remember a time when I had such and such a problem and boy was I feeling down. Gosh, I just felt awful...blah blah blah. But I....blah blah blah."

It helps to gaze off into space in reminiscing rather than keeping eye contact, so you are more removed emotionally, seem more detached.

Again, that may not be very Christian, but it can be effective!

Another thing you could do is say something like, "Venting has it's benefits to a certain extent. Sometimes. Sometimes I have personally found it can become counter productive as it causes a too negative mind set. However, there is nothing like prayer to really get the problem solved. Let's pray right here and now." Insist on that. If the person wants to pick up on the venting afterwards say something like, "No, no, let's not pick this up again. Let's leave it with the Almighty. Also, did you know that being angry and resentful" if that is present "is really bad for your immunological system? I don't want you to be hurting yourself that way."

If the other person still wants to go on with the venting, be kind but do the "Let's talk about me now" thing and watch them find something else to do.

Praying you will be given wisdom on how to deal with such people.

 

[Goodbook]

Lol.
I can just picture me replying to a distraught email thats got too much information.
I'm sorry...I sympathise, now its my turn to unload...blah blah blah.

I think will ignore till Im ready to say something, or not say at all, cos this person really irritates me. If im nice, and positive she takes it the wrong way and prefers to drag me down with her.

Shes older than me but I feel like sometimes I could be a sister, but I cant if shes being doubleminded and flirting with darkness, with no intention of coming to the light. She sent me an email and something (God?) in me just said enough, you dont even have to read it, shes complaining about the life she chose again.

 

[BabylonWeary]

Kinda.
What do you do?

It depends. If it's a political issue I might suggest they write a letter to Congress. If it's personal stuff, I try to be as sympathetic as I can, but then tell them I don't know. If it's a situation where it's getting on my nerves I might tell the other person to leave me alone. I mostly try to keep to myself anyways, a lot of my complaints have fallen upon deaf ears over the years, so I try to avoid the futility. If it's about characters on the website, I start a thread full of nonsense and whoever replies then I click the ignore button.

 

[Goodbook]

Well, seems to be personal stuff.
This person grew up american, so, i kinda give her leeway.

But i have told others if they wanna keep complaining about their bfs or exes or whatever im not the person to hear it.

 

[NothingIsImpossible]

Sometimes its just best to distance yourself from people who constantly have the same arguments/debates with you. Not only for their good but for your own because you don't want to start changing your heart inside due to the battles with them. Example is I had a long time friend who was an atheist. We got along great and I seen change in him and his ways. But overtime I realized with our small disagreements, he was actually changing me far more. I swore all the time, I made inappropriate jokes... he was just bad for me as a friend. I never really said anything to him, we just fell apart as friends and I assume we are no longer friends since we haven't talked in years now.

If you want to distance yourself you can say something if you want or you don't have to say anything if you feel it may cause more issues.

 

[Catherineanne]

Lol.
I can just picture me replying to a distraught email thats got too much information.
I'm sorry...I sympathise, now its my turn to unload...blah blah blah.

I think will ignore till Im ready to say something, or not say at all, cos this person really irritates me. If im nice, and positive she takes it the wrong way and prefers to drag me down with her.

Shes older than me but I feel like sometimes I could be a sister, but I cant if shes being doubleminded and flirting with darkness, with no intention of coming to the light. She sent me an email and something (God?) in me just said enough, you dont even have to read it, shes complaining about the life she chose again.

Emails are easier than face to face. Close it, leave it for another day.

When you reply say sorry, I was busy gardening (or whatever). Then be sympathetic but brief.

She may need to vent; you don't need to respond at all if you don't want to.

 

[Goodbook]

I think best to ignore.
The thing is, if she dont want to be friends with me she should just say rather than give excuses, and turn it all around on me when I was just being caring.

For example, i remember her saying she wanted to get out more, and do fun things. This was constant all the time,we need to do somehing, think of things to do, invite friends etc. she would push this all on me to organise. Then at last minute would all can all cancel as she wasnt up to it. When i think of something to do, then its like she is too busy.

So it seems like she only wants to do things shes in control of. Anyway. I cant be bothered anymore. When she invites me over to her place, often its just to talk about stuff in her past I cant do anything about. She doesnt really ask how I am. Ive never met anyone so self absorbed and dont know how to handle it. If shes not that its how she likes this or that other guy.

 

[Quasicentennial]

Negative memory experiences are definitely very emotional with little or no solution, or even spare time to think for a solution as these negative experiences become like an emotional black hole - a swallowing, messy or disorganized, almost no guaranteed to succeed disaster of thoughts and ideas as fear becomes a giant over faith:.
Definitely requires the tremendous abundance of Christ's peace and joy on a continuous focus basis to remove that emotional black hole caused by Satan's annoying constant sin, only then that clear, precise thoughts and fresh new ideas will turn into solid positive action - doing exactly what you mean without that last-minute cancellation habit:.
Even if the victim is aware of this advice, circumstances such as low-income employment, relationship breakup, can definitely prevent Christian church attendance, bible study or even a brief home visit, and therefore,
Jesus has taken every negative experience wherever we live and contact daily, knowing that his Second Coming future victory return will make sure that Satan will be out of lives for good, so that we will become socially positive and active in seeing each other, or even one another as our future-then new genius-intelligent minds of Christ, besides our measure-perfect bodies of Christ, will allow us with a memory so clear, we can meet and remember as many brothers and sisters of Christ we choose without memory loss.''*".

 

[KimT]

Pray for this person and set boundaries. I've had to do the same with a lady from church who disrupts our Bible studies.

 

[janny108]

Being overloaded with verbal diarrhea(lol!)?
I tell them it's best to take that to the
Lord and tell Him all about it... He is the
only One who can really help.

Or refer them to this scripture:
Matthew 11:27-29
"All things have been handed over to Me by
My Father; and no one knows the Son except
the Father; nor does anyone know the Father except the Son, and anyone to whom the Son wills to reveal Him."

"Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest."

"Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me,
for I am gentle and humble in heart, and
YOU WILL FIND REST FOR YOUR SOULS."

 

[janny108]

verbal diarrhea is what happened at work ALL DAY.