the tree of knowledge of good and evil is the divine idea of creation and nothingness. it is a sphere of reality that we fell into and fell asleep in. it's a divine dream, a divine fable.
Isa 55:6-11 (YLT)
Seek ye Jehovah, while He is found, Call ye Him, while He is near, Forsake doth the wicked his way, And the man of iniquity his thoughts, And he returneth to Jehovah, and He pitieth him, And unto our God for He multiplieth to pardon. For not My thoughts are your thoughts, Nor your ways My ways, --an affirmation of Jehovah, For high have the heavens been above the earth, So high have been My ways above your ways, And My thoughts above your thoughts. For, as come down doth the shower, And the snow from the heavens, And thither returneth not, But hath watered the earth, And hath caused it to yield, and to spring up, And hath given seed to the sower, and bread to the eater, So is My word that goeth out of My mouth, It turneth not back unto Me empty, But hath done that which I desired, And prosperously effected that for which I sent it.
Isa 59:12-16 (YLT)
For our transgressions have been multiplied before Thee, And our sins have testified against us, For our transgressions are with us, And our iniquities--we have known them. Transgressing, and lying against Jehovah, And removing from after our God, Speaking oppression and apostasy, Conceiving and uttering from the heart Words of falsehood. And removed backward is judgment, And righteousness afar off standeth, For truth hath been feeble in the street, And straightforwardness is not able to enter, And the truth is lacking, And whoso is turning aside from evil, Is making himself a spoil. And Jehovah seeth, and it is evil in His eyes, That there is no judgment. And He seeth that there is no man, And is astonished that there is no intercessor, And His own arm giveth salvation to Him, And His righteousness--it sustained Him.
I can't explain what only God can explain but he can make anyone see what he means. I could try to explain what God let me see but it would be hard since he constructed my soul to connect to all the different points to make me see the way I see it and since he triggers off in my brain different things since he is the one who orders my memory and other parts of my mind when he teaches me something for my comfort. but today he has been organizing reality in such a way as to affirm himself to me with various things all fashioned and ordered by him and the various beings that serve him in joy all work together in one accord to do good to the world. especially in praying to him, though I be a sick person, sometimes he will bless and react to the prayers to him if they are really seeking him.
I hate to even say since I am me... but God does deserve credit for the things he can and does do for all of us and each of us uniquely. I wish people could see what God showed me and I wish people could see the real me who asked God and in what manner of spirit I was when I prayed to him because I am to the point where saints and devils torture me in some sense because I have higher hopes and a more open faith and better belief structures ( though they are nothing but a starting point of what God has reserved for all of us ). there are many different aspects of hope and faith and love and each of us grows in this and that part of it and develops how God pleases to give to us the good of the land, each of us uniquely since each soul is important to God.
anyways... whether I am deceived or if I am not, I am fine either way because my desire can't be greater than Gods and if his desire is not for me then I don't really care what happens to me or where I go because I am jealous and whether it is right or wrong does not matter to me right now, unless I was to do evil to all of you which i do not want to do though I suffer with various burdens that is a shared burden of being born as a human being and suffering from corruption to whatever degree, whether it got me or not as it gets some, it still bothers others when it does not get them as Jesus even confessed. if I could remove from myself the feelings in my heart that I do not believe are right towards others and towards God and myself then I would but I guess God lets me see all the evils that happen when something less than him is the outcome ( which is nothing but hell compared to even what i can vaguely imagine could be considered the highest of heavens ) and so for the past saints that are so scared for God to fill their speculations and imagination and desires, they loved God in their own way and God loved them but if I can not love God then my only joy is being destroyed by myself. and so the way I go is one way because for me it had always came down to "God either loves me or he does not".
because I do have a relationship with God whether I am a devil or not and whether I have an evil insanity or not I could only try to love God according to what I am or currently am but my full perception of God is not something I can express because my full perception of God is not bound to time or to this universe and yet I have to exist as a little creature with a limited soul in a limited system with a crude body that is within different natural laws and so the illusion of my little perception as a human being is soaked in Gods own perceptions and yet I have a capacity and am limited though God pours himself out to me since i want to forsake myself even though i'm not perfect. and thankfully God has constructed better realities for this little creature to dwell in since it would be a bad thing if I had to forever dwell in a tent.
i'm happy for the general innocence of people that is displayed towards me when I fall short in whatever manner because I think that God would also treat me in such a way and so i'm happy to see that God helps his children.