Noxot said:
I want to deeply relate to God with all that I am, but everyone wants to limit me to the person of Jesus. I don't hate Jesus and I don't care at all for peoples tribalistic do's and dont's that make you acceptable to the group... if those things don't seem to meet certain standards due to them being based in what I feel is not a stable enough foundation and building or that it had not been worked on or developed enough thus being composed of the things that happened to be due to the way the world is configured aka to some degree an accidental quality of them. I know I can't 100% speak about how reality is but it is certainly part of how reality is sometimes or on some level.
I think my problem stems from the fact that people are trying to take away humanity in general away from me and replace all of it with one person - Jesus. and further, they treat him like a king, which to this kind of person that I am, is not at all a great thing. I don't reverence authorities, I don't care about caesar at all. I don't love God or bend my knee to him because if not then you get punishment. I don't love God because he is holy in the common sense of how the majority of christians conceive of that idea. they call God just and in their very calling of it to him in my eyes they are calling him unjust.
I think that Jesus is way better than people make him out to be.
I have many thoughts, I guess many others do to. I share many of my thoughts where I think I appropriately can. But though there is certainty about God, and I am sure Yahweh is God, still God is entirely beyond my thoughts. Sure, I think about God, and I do understand concluding the Creator being essential existence is infinite with no limits in anything true of God. I still won't grasp what that infiniteness is. So I can consider the universe is vast. It is beyond what I can really grasp. But it is limited compared to God, who really is unlimited. But the unlimited applies to observing everything on the smallest scale too. And the unlimited is not limited from watching over us, and caring for us, again without limit. So is the Creator's care for the creatures in the creation. But relationship with us is meant. That God is still beyond any of our thoughts, that so much about God can't be understood, makes it hard for us, with our fallen condition, with sinfulness in our lives, to have that relationship.
So Jesus is of great importance to us, showing the love and care of God. But Jesus is to be followed, in what he shows to do. So it is that there are such Christians in churches that don't see Jesus that way, to follow Jesus as such, with saying they have faith, so they are saved. But we can know God more, with seeing Jesus as he really is, to follow Jesus in what he shows to do. That revelation is needed to know God to that extent, though God is way beyond that understanding otherwise, the understanding we need for the relationship is still enough. This is why we needed Jesus, and the restoration is possible, with it possible to no longer live with sinfulness getting in the way.
There is injustice in the world but we are mistaken to credit that to God. We have many responsibilities for the way there is growing curse in this world. This is what there should be repentance from, for us to be doing things for betterment. This is for Christians along with many others to change to.
May you be well. Hopefully you are having a good place to live.