I will say that with Orthodoxy (and in Roman Catholicism), it is acknowledged there are points at which you might not feel very spiritual or very close to God. There are times when a believer is filled with doubt. And that is considered the normal and a sign of maturing faith. When I was a Protestant and not feeling full of faith or in despair, it was called "not doing well spiritually." During times of spiritual dryness, which can last for decades (see Mother Theresa's example) we are encouraged to continue with the prayers, the Mysteries and with good works. This is a type mature faith: walking the path when you cannot see and cannot feel the presence of God.
"He removed grace from you so that you may become wise. But it will come again. It does not abandon you. This is a law of God. But it will leave again. Yet once more it will come. As long as you don't stop seeking it, it will keep coming and going until it renders you perfect." --Elder Joseph the Hesychast
M.
Sis Monica,
On what it is that you noted, as it concerns the dynamic of not doing well spiritually (As many Protestants have noted), I wanted to say that there are many Protestants who thankfully understand the concept you brought up...concerning the fact that spirituality is not determined by one's feelings, but by faith demonstrated via actions. Doing what's right tilll it feels right--and even when it doesn't feel right, doing it anyway because its something one's called to get done.
Others like C.S Lewis noted similar dynamics, though he well understood the concept of Theosis as Orthodoxy does...and that just because one doesn't feel like they're growing doesn't mean that they are not necessarily in a growth process (similar to the ways kids go through puberty and may not even be aware at times of how it is that their body is changing since they're in such sync with it that it can go unoticed for awhile). As the author of "Mere Christianity" (one of the best apolegetics against atheism, IMHO) and who was one of the most influential, if not the most influential, Anglican writers of the twentieth century, it was always wild to see some of the things he had to say on why others should believe in the Lord. I was always glad to see how he was also one who was much loved by many Orthodox Christians who often raise the question, "Was C.S. Lewis an anonymous Orthodox?" , seeing that Lewis's Atonement Theology and Soteriology, as well
as his understandings of Heaven and Hell, are very similar to that of the Orthodox and stand opposed to traditional Roman Catholic and Protestant understandings of these matters...with many deeming him as an "Anonymous Orthodox"
For more info:
Lewis is someone whose views I have greatly appreciated, especially as it concerns growth, since he
at one point rejected Christianity and became an avowed atheist. And at times, to my knowledge, struggled when coming back to the Lord---but aided others in how to see the Lord in it all. What he noted on how moods change is very big, IMHO. As
he said best:
Now Faith, in the sense in which I am here using the word, is the art of holding on to things your reason has once accepted, in spite of your changing moods. For moods will change, whatever your view your reason takes. I know that by experience. Now that I am a Christian I do have moods in which the whole thing looks very improbable: but when I was an atheist I had moods in which Christianity looked terribly probable. This rebellion of your moods against your real self is going to come anyway. That is why Faith is such a necessary virtue: unless you teach your moods where they get off, you can never be either a sound Christian or even a sound atheist, but just a creature dithering to and fro, with its beliefs really dependent on the weather and the state of its digestion. Consequently one must train the habit of Faith.
The first step is to recognize the fact that your moods change. The next is to make sure that, if you have once accepted Christianity, then some of its main doctrines shall be deliberately held before your mind for some time every day. That is why daily prayers and religious readings and churchgoing are necessary parts of the Christian life. We have to be continually reminded of what we believe. Neither this belief nor any other will automatically remain alive in the mind. It must be fed. And as a matter of fact, if you examined a hundred people who had lost their faith in Christianity, I wonder how many of them would turn out to have been reasoned out of it by honest argument? Do not most people simply drift away?
C.S. Lewis Mere Christianity
As Lewis said best, "If you examined a hundred people who had lost their faith in Christianity, I wonder how many of them would turn out to have been reasoned out of it by honest argument? Do not most people simply drift away?"
C.S. Lewis said that in England during the 1940s....and how applicable it is for today. For how many people don't actively reject their faith (on intellectual grounds or others), but just gradually wander off? They get distracted. Many times, they stop nurturing their faith through regular worship, much less study. Moreover, they may start mixing in bits and pieces (or large chunks) of other "spiritualities" they've run across, or they may just not think much about spiritual matters at all. ..and they may think of themselves as Christians for a while, but somewhere along the line, they stopped.
That's how it happens oftentimes. ...and as Lewis said, "That is why daily prayers and
religious readings and churchgoing are necessary parts of the Christian life"...and as Lewis said best, "We have to be continually reminded of what we believe. Neither this [Christian] belief nor any other will automatically remain alive in the mind. It must be fed."
I'm glad for others who've pointed out the same. One of the authors I grew up with, known as Alan Hirsh, is another one who has done a good job illustrating the point of Theosis and how many often turn away from the Lord
because they fail to realize the concept of growth (as he said here in his book "UnTamed" ). Of course, I disagree with Brother Hirsh on specific points at times, as it concerns the view (from what I've read) that traditional/institutional forms of the Church that were birthed in Christendom are things which are to be moved from. For Allan Hirsch relies on the restorationist meta-narrative that the New Testament church was pure in all things but at one point in history, identified by him as the conversion of Constantine/that era, everything went wrong, and has continued wrong.. That meta-narrative is something I cannot go with fully, even though I do feel there were
many things in early Christendom that were not necessarily the ultimate in what the Lord desired ---and one can go either
here ,
here ,
here or here in his book entitled
"The Forgotten Ways" for more on his view/where it has been critiqued---but on many other things, I feel where he has come from 100%.
Something Brother Alan noted about atheism that has struck me heavily is how many turn to it in the claim that they don't find Christianity to be reasonable or "rational"--and yet, if you do enough homework, one will find that what really occurred was that many really didn't find themselves reasonable/rational....for they knew what it was that they were to do, yet couldn't handle seeing the ways that they failed at it. Consequently, what occurred was cognitative dissonance, where they'd disconnected from what was "reality" for them and chose to see the world different. An example Brother Hirsh gave was with a young adult who used to be involved in church and later claimed to the pastor how he was struggling with believing in the concept of God/Theism..and finding more of the arguments against the claims of CHristianity or scripture to be difficult to ignore. In response, the pastor asked "Are you sleeping with your girlfriend?"--to which the young adult was shocked to hear...but replied "Yes." His sin became something so difficult to bear/avoid that it literally caused him to subconsiciously begin to erase the thought of God from his mind---and on the surface, he may've felt that he was simply questioning things/trying to rationally explore...but what was really the case was that he had let himself and the Lord down...and no longer wished to face that.
For more on what Alan said in his story,
one can go here.
Of course, not all cases of turning to atheism are based on this----as for many, simply finding logical reasons for believing Christianity or searching for consistency in the Church is why others may struggle for a bit...and for others, seeing how other religions compare to the Faith are reasons why they may explore for sometime as they pursue their quest for truth/truly seeing if there is one way to God.
The reality of science, naturalistic observation and trying to see how that renconciles with faith in the Lord is another reason others struggle.....and for some, growing up in a form of CHristianity where things are highly materialistic/dualistic and wanting to have "rational" answers for all things is part of why they may walk away...only to return when realizing that Christianity was never meant to take away mystery or give answers to ALL aspects of life.
There's also the reality of others who walked away due to feeling that people were simply going through the motions and not truly living out what they claimed to believe. Although some may disagree, this is something that seems to occur even with Orthodoxy in light of how many have walked away from it just as others have from differing camps within Christendom...and in light of how many within Orthodoxy have noted over the years the need for more aggressive evangelism/engagement amongst those who are not saved. Some of this was discussed before elsewhere with one of my brothers who was Coptic Orthodox when we were discussing the "Cradle vs Convert" people ( #
46 )
Again, the reasons for others turning toward atheism are many---but for alot of people, not finding themselves believable when it comes to doing what they believe God wants is one of the reasons why they choose not to believe in Him anymore...
Some of that can, of course, go alongside Psalm 14 which makes clear that many turn away simply due to pride..
go to church if you can, go to confession, even if halting - remember you're not confessing to this priest but to Christ. Maybe email your old priest and share where you're at? He could help the transition or give you advice for where you're at.
