- Mar 1, 2006
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Dh and I talk about what works/doesn't work for us (not so much about "how do you feel about that" but "how can we make x,y or z work for us as a couple"). I don't know that I ask him to define his feelings all the time. Maybe I've read the "Men are from Mars Women are from Venus" and "Men are like Waffles, Women are like Spaghetti" books too much to expect that.
As far as did women have this need before: I'd say "yes, and they got it fulfilled through other women". Why is it that we seem to think that we need to have our marriage *totally* fulfill *every need* we have? There are some things that dh doesn't fulfill for me. That's why I go out with a lady from church every couple of weeks or so. It's why I have a small prayer group of women from our old church. It's why I call ladies on the phone "just to talk". Dh comes home from work and I *want* to connect with him. Sometimes that means sitting on the couch while he holds me and we watch tv. Sometimes it means we talk about how our day went. Sometimes it means we relay vital information (the baby's been sick, the kids are misbehaving, the car broke down, we need to make this phone call, etc). Sometimes dh needs a break from everything and I suggest he goes and gets a latte or goes to a driving range (golf). Sometimes we feel utterly disconnected, having no time to spend together. It happens.
In our marriage, the main thing is to communicate about what will work for us and move forward.
Rachel
As far as did women have this need before: I'd say "yes, and they got it fulfilled through other women". Why is it that we seem to think that we need to have our marriage *totally* fulfill *every need* we have? There are some things that dh doesn't fulfill for me. That's why I go out with a lady from church every couple of weeks or so. It's why I have a small prayer group of women from our old church. It's why I call ladies on the phone "just to talk". Dh comes home from work and I *want* to connect with him. Sometimes that means sitting on the couch while he holds me and we watch tv. Sometimes it means we talk about how our day went. Sometimes it means we relay vital information (the baby's been sick, the kids are misbehaving, the car broke down, we need to make this phone call, etc). Sometimes dh needs a break from everything and I suggest he goes and gets a latte or goes to a driving range (golf). Sometimes we feel utterly disconnected, having no time to spend together. It happens.
In our marriage, the main thing is to communicate about what will work for us and move forward.
Rachel
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