MY DEAR FRIEND,
My all-important (to me, at least) question is "why are you here and what do you want?"--i.e. are you seeking TRUTH or seeking arguments; looking for light in the darkness or seeking to build yourself up by tearing the beliefs of others down?
The majority of the "honestly questioning" individuals who show up on this site are in the latter catagory--how about you?
A BOND-SLAVE/FRIEND/BROTHER OF OUR LORD/GOD/SAVIOR JESUS CHRIST,
ephraim
Good day ephraimanesti.
After prolonged consideration, it seems to me that your questions do deserve an answer. I did not answer them at first because it seemed to me that rather than asking me
about myself (as I had offered to provide information) you were requiring that I justify my presence here, which I did not feel I needed to do.
However, the questions have merit despite their being initially off-putting in the context (and sounding somewhat like the opening credits to The Prisoner). I acknowledge that we both may have reason to be rather prickly, and allowing you to be as prickly concerning me as I sometimes am concerning Christianity may be one of the lessons I need to learn upon my return here.
Why am I here?
I will go on the assumption that this is not an existential question and has to do with why I started this topic in this forum.
I am currently returning to CF after a year-long self-ban. I find, on my return that CF has been retooled so as to allow very few venues in which a non-Christian can explore Christianity in any depth. Be that as it may. I will work around it. That is why I am here. If I were allowed to participate in apologetics or theology discussions I would do so, but I cannot.
What do I want?
It occurred to me that allowing you to ask me questions would be an interesting two-edged sword. It would allow you to glean information about me that might later leave me more vulnerable in our discussions, something which can be either good or bad depending upon how that vulnerability is approached (or exploited).
The other edge of the sword is the information I might glean about you and how you approach your faith by means of the questions you ask me. What questions you choose and how you ask them may convey more (and subtler) information than the answers you would give if I were to ask the questions.
Am I seeking the truth or seeking arguments?
I am seeking to test and refine my thinking on a number of issues related to Christianity. As to whether this constitutes seeking the truth, I will leave for you to judge, as it is possible you have a definition in mind for seeking the truth that may not match my own.
I am not seeking arguments. I may find disagreement. In fact, I hope I do. It is difficult to hone one's thinking when one encounters only agreement. I am resolved, however, not to allow disagreements to devolve into arguments. If I find that constructive communication is not possible in a particular situation, I intend to simply walk away.
Am I looking for light in the darkness
I am in favor of knowledge over ignorance, understanding over confusion, hope over despair. Again, I will leave it up to you as to whether this constitutes looking for light over darkness.
Am I seeking to build myself up by tearing the beliefs of others down?
I am, one might say, looking to break down my
own beliefs, prejudices, suppositions, etc. as one might break down an engine, examining each part. If there are Christians here who are willing to do the same along side me, I think that would be CF at its best. Let me say that I am not here to gloss over the high points of Christianity, but to truly explore it in depth.
I acknowledge that this may be an uncomfortable thing to do. I found last year, due to a number of factors, that I was not able to tolerate the breaking down of my own beliefs that the discussions here on CF were generating. I walked away for a year, and not on good terms. So, I understand the discomfort this sort of exploration can produce.
The freedom to step away from the discussion goes both ways. I have no desire to break down someone else's beliefs in a way that is not mutually beneficial, mutually strengthening. I understand that any of us may cling to a fragile belief for an important reason. I hope I can respect that.
Am I honestly questioning (sans scare quotes)?
Yes. This does not mean that I presume that you or anyone else has the answer to my questions. It does mean that I am genuinely interested in what you have to say and will give it due consideration. I am a skeptic. That's what skeptics do.
(By the way, not all atheists are skeptics. I think you will find, if you have not
already found so, that you will like those of us who
are a little better.
)
