Mrs. Luther073082
Commit to the LORD whatever you do - Proverbs 16:3
Semi-blind post. I've known of people who waited til their wedding day to kiss and didn't actually have sex until like a month after they were married.
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Semi-blind post. I've known of people who waited til their wedding day to kiss and didn't actually have sex until like a month after they were married.
And I have failed to uncover this wisdomI discovered the wisdom behind not kissing or holding hands when dating...
I wouldn't be surprised.Semi-blind post. I've known of people who waited til their wedding day to kiss and didn't actually have sex until like a month after they were married.
I can understand how you'd think this, however I can certainly say this isn't true.I know this is probably a wrong way of thinking but, if your refrain from any physical contact while dating, doesn't that make you really good friends who hang out a lot alone?
I can't really say much because I have yet to be in a relationship where physical activity wasn't promoted from day one, but it just seems that the physical portion of the relationship (holding hands and kissing) is what pushes you to the level of actually being in a relationship. Without that, you are just good friends. Besides, a kiss can break awkward silence really well when you say something you shouldn't have AND it can get you out of trouble if you time it right.
I can understand how you'd think this, however I can certainly say this isn't true.
I myself best identify with the orientation of asexuality. Yet I have been in a relationship for 2 years despite never feeling a sexual desire.
Despite this, I was and still am very able to distinguish my feelings for my boyfriend over my friends for best friends. Especially as I was best friends with him like 3 years or so before we got together. Even if there is no physical contact, the feelings one has for the other are completely different. Love is not defined through physical contact. It often results in a desire for physical contact, but it is not love itself.
It may not be love but it does not have to be infatuation. Love is something that develops over time. In the mean time you have something else. Something not quite love but not infatuation. A middle ground where enjoying the others company is the important part.We certainly have physical intimacy, we cuddle and kiss and hold hands and I certainly have a desire to do that, but relationships can certainly exist without that if that is what distinguishes a relationship, the feeling must indeed be infatuation.
I think these situations are more common than people realize I am by no means bashing anyone who has this desire.... however you better be doing it for the right reasons. In actuality the only reason to place boundaries is to protect yourself. It's not to make God smile on your righteousness, it's not to have a better marriage, it's not because you feel you "ought to". It's because you need to protect yourself. Any other boundry made for any other reason needs to be tore down. Here is why, I have known about spouses who actully feel a strong sense of guilt about having sex with their husband/wife. This is very warped thinking and very very very sinful. the bible COMMANDS you to have sex in marrege. so if the same kind of guilt you feel outside of marrege continues inside of marrege than you are under spiritail attack and you are beleiving lies.
again I will say it and say it twice over. If you are setting boundries and your motivation is something "more" than protection and accountability. than you need to check your heart and tear them down and set new ones up with the right motivations. Marrege is not a game, sexuality is not a game. You need to do what is honestly right for the future you hope to have and you need to take a very honest look at what is truly best.
I know this is probably a wrong way of thinking but, if your refrain from any physical contact while dating, doesn't that make you really good friends who hang out a lot alone?
I can't really say much because I have yet to be in a relationship where physical activity wasn't promoted from day one, but it just seems that the physical portion of the relationship (holding hands and kissing) is what pushes you to the level of actually being in a relationship. Without that, you are just good friends. Besides, a kiss can break awkward silence really well when you say something you shouldn't have AND it can get you out of trouble if you time it right.
Yeeaaahhh, no.
If you can't bond with someone intimately/emotionally without physical/sexual contact, you got some problems!
One could argue it's best to refrain from physical intimacy on any level (for awhile) so you can KNOW that you like the person, and are with the person because of who they are, not because of how they make you feel physically.
Yuck.
As for those who claim that going from zero physical contact, to full on sex within an hour, uhh... one-night stands, anyone?
Yeah, those people are messed up, so not a good example. But it does happen all the time.
Yes but one-night stands almost always occur with sexually experienced individuals. They know what they're doing, and they both don't usually know each other well, and so all bets are off. If they embarass themselves it doesn't matter, because they'll be gone in the morning. Most inexperienced people that engage in one-night stands have a terrible time.
XD No, but just from other people with experience
Good sex doesn't just occur. If you're having sex for the first time with a random stranger, your sex is likely to suck.