avoiding kissing and holding hands altogether...

[namelessjuan]

Many people, Christians and Non-Christians alike, really rarely acknowledge Sin for what it really is and the fact that we are All held accountable to a Holy God.

Good thing for the blood.

 

[white dove]

It builds up the tension, that's fer darn sure.... orr, it just makes people lose interest altogether.



"i like to hold hand" (inside joke)

 

[GQ Chris]

holding hands? Sin? Show me where it says that! And don't give me speculation.... show an actual bible verse.

no one said holding hands was a sin.

 

[Windmill]

You know, because of thoughts like this, me and my friends used to have this joke about holding hands. If people held hands, they were "having sex". So if a couple held hands, we'd all reel back in horror and tell them to get a private room, or tell them they should be using protection with gloves

 

[ido]

Wrong, because it is greater than just knowledge and training. That was suppose to be an easy example, you are right in that it is incomplete.

We are suppose to have Christ within us. We should be able to love any other Christian, and be in a relationship with any other Christian because we should both have Christ within us and so be able to love others... as Christ loves people.

The fact that we can't do that shows that we aren't good Christians.

This is the big difference between Christians and other philosophies/belief structures. In Christianity, we accept Christ's gift. Then He lives within us transforming us to be more like Him.

In other areas, people try to transform themselves. If that is the case then we should have just as much success as other structures, namely little at all.

JM

Christ-like love is not the same as romantic love. Your thought process is sincere, but flawed. I can love someone with the love of Christ but that doesn't mean I am supposed to love them with romantic love and have a successful relationship with them just b/c we're both Christians.

 

[Inkachu]

For people who are acting like holding hands produces zero physical/emotional reaction, I can tell you that you're wrong. I've held hands with guys, and when the fingers get to caressing and intertwining and rubbing, trust me, that turns me all kinds of on. When you're crazy about someone, or even when you're just feeling "hormonal", it doesn't take much of anything to make your mind and body to go berserk. Shoot, just sitting next to someone I'm in love with is all it takes for me to wanna jump on them.

There is no such thing as "too careful".

 

[Blank123]

For people who are acting like holding hands produces zero physical/emotional reaction, I can tell you that you're wrong. I've held hands with guys, and when the fingers get to caressing and intertwining and rubbing, trust me, that turns me all kinds of on. When you're crazy about someone, or even when you're just feeling "hormonal", it doesn't take much of anything to make your mind and body to go berserk. Shoot, just sitting next to someone I'm in love with is all it takes for me to wanna jump on them.

There is no such thing as "too careful".

yup thats actually a good example of whats sinful for one may not be sinful for another too. For me I've got freedom in that area; i can hold my bf's hand and i don't feel tempted to take it any further. For you it obviously is tempting and so its something that you probably should be avoiding. there's really no reason why either one of us should have it held against us.

 

[Inkachu]

I guess I want to be overwhelmed with all-consuming passionate desire for my husband, and I want vice versa. If he holds my hand or hugs me or kisses me and feels nada...that would suck. And since my future husband will, at one point, be my boyfriend, and all that aroused and awakened love that is stronger than death won't wait to pop into existence until after the vows, I have to be realistic and expect it before that. I want and hope to awaken all that love (per Song of Solomon 8:4) when I meet my husband-to-be, so I'm trying to prepare myself now to abstain from lots of physical affection during the courtship. I know how rabidly lusty I can be when I'm not even really in love, so I can only imagine how hard it would be to control when I've got my soul mate in front of me.

I know that people are different, but I can't imagine being physically near someone you claim to be in love with, and not wanting to climb all over them. And I'm sure maybe some of you can't understand what the heck is wrong with me, either lol. I'm just a passionate person in every way.

 

[toastface_grillah]

You know, because of thoughts like this, me and my friends used to have this joke about holding hands. If people held hands, they were "having sex". So if a couple held hands, we'd all reel back in horror and tell them to get a private room, or tell them they should be using protection with gloves

That's, that's, kind of awesome.

 

[* kittie *]

I could hold hands and kiss a guy and not be tempted. I guess I'm lucky in that aspect. The problem comes when they're pushy.
That doesn't mean I don't have those feelings. Actually, I have those feelings pretty strongly. I guess I think too much about it, that I am able to stop. By "thinking too much"...I mean A LOT of automatic thoughts. Again, the problem only comes when they're pushy...

I agree that there is a emotional reaction with just holding hands. At least for me. Even a while ago when I was just with a friend, holding his hand...there was a closeness there. Now try that with someone I love...it's even more than that.

 

[Im_A]

I guess I want to be overwhelmed with all-consuming passionate desire for my husband, and I want vice versa. If he holds my hand or hugs me or kisses me and feels nada...that would suck. And since my future husband will, at one point, be my boyfriend, and all that aroused and awakened love that is stronger than death won't wait to pop into existence until after the vows, I have to be realistic and expect it before that. I want and hope to awaken all that love (per Song of Solomon 8:4) when I meet my husband-to-be, so I'm trying to prepare myself now to abstain from lots of physical affection during the courtship. I know how rabidly lusty I can be when I'm not even really in love, so I can only imagine how hard it would be to control when I've got my soul mate in front of me.

I know that people are different, but I can't imagine being physically near someone you claim to be in love with, and not wanting to climb all over them. And I'm sure maybe some of you can't understand what the heck is wrong with me, either lol. I'm just a passionate person in every way.

I'm like that too, meaning with the passion. If I am with someone that I think I am in love with, well...I know the desires inside of me that come over me.

Yet I also can be passionately distant...that's probably a contradiction but it works in my contradictious(is that even a word?) mind. Meaning, I like the times that I sit with someone I think I am in love with and we just sit there silently, maybe an arm around and not say a word to each other. You know you got someone special when you can have comfortable silence.

So the in between is ideal for awhile.

Yet I will admit, I don't know if I ever experienced temptation, in the classic, typical sense for the past 5 plus years. Temptation means your tempted and you have a moment of going, "Yes or no?" to me. In my past, I really don't think there was such a thing as temptation(I'm not talking about the topic of rather if it was right or wrong. I'm passed that now, and the answer is irrelevant for me). It was just two people choosing what they wanted and both agreed. [shrugs shoulder with a smile]. Past is the past, and I'm pretty confident I'll find the middle ground of purity and freedom once again...something that I knew I lost along the way over the past 5 plus years, and I knew that long before I stepped back into a church .

BTW-I'm not saying against your post. Just discussing with no real point.

 

[canukian]

women-do not evan LOOK at them. lol.

 

[Blank123]

I guess I want to be overwhelmed with all-consuming passionate desire for my husband, and I want vice versa. If he holds my hand or hugs me or kisses me and feels nada...that would suck. And since my future husband will, at one point, be my boyfriend, and all that aroused and awakened love that is stronger than death won't wait to pop into existence until after the vows, I have to be realistic and expect it before that. I want and hope to awaken all that love (per Song of Solomon 8:4) when I meet my husband-to-be, so I'm trying to prepare myself now to abstain from lots of physical affection during the courtship. I know how rabidly lusty I can be when I'm not even really in love, so I can only imagine how hard it would be to control when I've got my soul mate in front of me.

I know that people are different, but I can't imagine being physically near someone you claim to be in love with, and not wanting to climb all over them. And I'm sure maybe some of you can't understand what the heck is wrong with me, either lol. I'm just a passionate person in every way.

lol well i wouldn't say that just because to me its not sexual when we hold hands that i don't feel anything to me there's a definite emotional intimacy to those kinds of things but that just doesn't translate into sexual tension necessarily. While it certainly does depend on the type of person you are, I think it may also depend on how you've trained your mind as well; if you look at a certain act as inherently sexual then when it happens you're likely to experience it as more sexually charged but if you never view it as sexual then it most likely won't feel that way when it happens to you. Sorta like how some cultures foster the idea that a womans eyes are inherently sexual so they force them to cover their eyes when they're out in public so as not to cause men to stumble. They've trained their minds to view something to be sexual that would make any western man scratch his head in confusion.

it may also depend on how you view romantic relationships. While there is an undeniable sexual element to them that needs to be properly approached, i just don't view it as overwhelmingly sexual unless both people have made that an important dynamic in their relationship that they foster. the emphasis in my relationship right now is friendship. we love each other and we enjoy each other's company and when we show each other those signs of affection like holding each other's hand or hugging thats tied to our emotional bond not a sexual one. I hope that makes sense or explains a bit where i'm coming from lol

ETA (because i'm half asleep and probably wasn't as clear as i should've been): none of this discounts what i've said earlier about figuring out whats right for you in a relationship. If you know certain situations would make you more prone to sinning or temptation then you're wise to avoid them. better to be cautious than to be sorry

 

[puffca]

Would it count as kissing or hand-holding if there was glass between the couple?

Regardless of what you think the Bible says--open the door, it's inhumane!

 

[Windmill]

New rule: No more looking at your boyfriend!

 

[Inkachu]

Yet I also can be passionately distant...that's probably a contradiction but it works in my contradictious(is that even a word?) mind. Meaning, I like the times that I sit with someone I think I am in love with and we just sit there silently, maybe an arm around and not say a word to each other. You know you got someone special when you can have comfortable silence.

That's not strange at all. The most powerful love in existence is the kind that flourishes regardless of physical proximity; you can be on opposite sides of the world and your hearts still beat together in perfect synch (poetically speaking, of course ).

Yet I will admit, I don't know if I ever experienced temptation, in the classic, typical sense for the past 5 plus years. Temptation means your tempted and you have a moment of going, "Yes or no?" to me. In my past, I really don't think there was such a thing as temptation(I'm not talking about the topic of rather if it was right or wrong. I'm passed that now, and the answer is irrelevant for me). It was just two people choosing what they wanted and both agreed. [shrugs shoulder with a smile]. Past is the past, and I'm pretty confident I'll find the middle ground of purity and freedom once again...something that I knew I lost along the way over the past 5 plus years, and I knew that long before I stepped back into a church .

BTW-I'm not saying against your post. Just discussing with no real point.

I wanna make sure I understand what you meant here...are you saying you weren't "tempted" because, when you got horny, you just went ahead and had sex without hesitation, hence no moment of "temptation"?

 

[Inkachu]

lol well i wouldn't say that just because to me its not sexual when we hold hands that i don't feel anything to me there's a definite emotional intimacy to those kinds of things but that just doesn't translate into sexual tension necessarily. While it certainly does depend on the type of person you are, I think it may also depend on how you've trained your mind as well; if you look at a certain act as inherently sexual then when it happens you're likely to experience it as more sexually charged but if you never view it as sexual then it most likely won't feel that way when it happens to you. Sorta like how some cultures foster the idea that a womans eyes are inherently sexual so they force them to cover their eyes when they're out in public so as not to cause men to stumble. They've trained their minds to view something to be sexual that would make any western man scratch his head in confusion.

it may also depend on how you view romantic relationships. While there is an undeniable sexual element to them that needs to be properly approached, i just don't view it as overwhelmingly sexual unless both people have made that an important dynamic in their relationship that they foster. the emphasis in my relationship right now is friendship. we love each other and we enjoy each other's company and when we show each other those signs of affection like holding each other's hand or hugging thats tied to our emotional bond not a sexual one. I hope that makes sense or explains a bit where i'm coming from lol

ETA (because i'm half asleep and probably wasn't as clear as i should've been): none of this discounts what i've said earlier about figuring out whats right for you in a relationship. If you know certain situations would make you more prone to sinning or temptation then you're wise to avoid them. better to be cautious than to be sorry

I dunno about anyone else, but I know, for me, ever since I hit puberty, the most basic physical affections (hand holding, arm around me) was more than enough to start the engings revving, lol. So I don't think it was a cultural/mental thing, since it started when I was like, 14. Am I the only one who has experienced the art of seductive finger-nuzzling? *purr*

 

[SonicBOOM]

Would it count as kissing or hand-holding if there was glass between the couple?

depends on the type of glass

 

[Inkachu]

Dude, at first I thought that was two guys...yikes.

Let's hear it for men who look like men and women who look like women!