Internet usage increases loneliness

[radhead]

I heard a good radio program earlier this week about how internet usage is actually causing loneliness among people who use it for prolonged periods. That even the kind of "intimacy" gained through online friendships does not even begin to fulfill the kind of true intimacy needs of human beings.

Just watching a forum like this, it seems like there are too many people spending time here just trying to fulfill relational and intimacy needs. Looking for a "good time." But it seems more like a hospital here. The "relationships" (most, at least) I see here are mostly long-distance ones.

What do you think of this? Personally, I know that the more time I spend on the internet the more depressed I usually become. I have no "good memories" in my life involving so-called internet "friends" and "good times" to speak of. At least, not compared to real experiences. All of my good memories involve real people and experiences.

What are your thoughts?

 

[Tinkerbell33]

But then you can say that some people who go on forums were lonely to begin with and that is why they go online.

I do agree with what the radio programme though - those who do go on the internet too often can neglect relationships that exist in their life offline and then those relationships break.

I have realised that I am spending way too much time on the internet and it stops me from doing something constructive, that is why I am trying to find something to do other than go to college. I started some volunteering yesterday and I am going again on Sunday.

 

[Tinkerbell33]

Just watching a forum like this, it seems like there are too many people spending time here just trying to fulfill relational and intimacy needs.

I do this mainly because its hard for me to get that in my life offline. Everything is about the individual now and not society so people seem to keep to themselves more and less likely to converse with others, if that makes sense.

 

[Tinkerbell33]

Sometimes I wish that I hadn't gotten a laptop.

 

[Apollo Celestio]

Some people don't have either. Some people are also socially inept, and/or so they have to take what they can get. Doesn't matter to me either way.

 

[HoosierCanuck]

I could see pretty much what all of you had said...the radio programme is right but I agree with Becky that many who get online are lonely to begin with (me) and can't get ANY kind of 'support' IRL. Or..if they are like me, they may have a few who might listen briefly but you really don't want to 'burden' someone else with your problems. I come here often to vent when I'm feeling crappy or to say funny/stupid things hoping that I can make others laugh because that's a weird form of therapy for me.

However...yeah...spending too much time online is destructive in many ways. I agree...real life experiences are the ones that truly generate memories worth remembering. Oddly enough....most of my memories of the last 5-8 years have been made with people I met ONLINE. Go figure!

 

[Fremdin]

I read a similar article on cracked.com a while ago. I believe it. The more time I spend on the internet the more a long to spend time with people and being around them

 

[willard3]

For me right now, the Internet is a way for me to communicate with my close friends who live far away. I just moved to start a job, and I have literally zero friends that are close to my age here, and have no idea how to make new ones.

 

[Servant of Jesus]

For me right now, the Internet is a way for me to communicate with my close friends who live far away. I just moved to start a job, and I have literally zero friends that are close to my age here, and have no idea how to make new ones.

Can you go to a local church?

 

[Sketcher]

It makes a lot of sense.

 

[Servant of Jesus]

A Christian community, able to pray for you, and to give you comfort and support, can go a long ways towards helping you with loneliness and depression.

That community can be on-line, but it is far better if it is a local church with Christians you can meet and interact with in person.

 

[GQ Chris]

I believe, that just like anything else, Internet usage should not master you, just like Paul suggested.

 

[radhead]

I remember it also mentioned stuff like Facebook and Myspace. How a person can have hundreds of "friends" but it's impossible to create intimacy with very many of them.

The same program also mentioned that introverts didn't necessarily have the same problem as extraverts, as one might assume. They said it was because introverts by nature generally only require one or two good friends. While extraverts generally require more than that.

 

[radhead]

I tried a long distance relationship about 12 or 13 years ago when the internet was still new (to me). She only lived about an hour away. But it was so frustrating that I vowed never to do it again.

 

[willard3]

Can you go to a local church?

My job is at a church (music director). Unfortunately, it's a Catholic church and I'm not exactly Catholic (I have some problems with it...crazy because I've been hardcore Catholic until the middle of last year). Plus this particular congregation is about 75% old people (like 70s-80s old), and the rest are either married or in middle school.

Being music director, it means I have no time to explore other churches, as I play for 4 services each weekend.

 

[white dove]

I tried a long distance relationship about 12 or 13 years ago when the internet was still new (to me). She only lived about an hour away. But it was so frustrating that I vowed never to do it again.

You bring up a good point - a whole other can of worms. Some people are looking for that. An online relationship. Whether or not they are socially inept or inexperienced in the dating world, I think has a lot to do with it. Maybe they're just fed up with their real-life encounters. Internet connections are just another option. You can usually tell who are the ones looking for someone online and who are just around to pass the time. But, I'm glad you brought this up, especially on this forum.


I, myself, used to connect with people in the good ol' Chatbox when I first signed up on this website. It wasn't a big deal because I was online anyway for school research and for e-mailing friends or family - it was just a new (at times, exciting way) to get to know people - a nice distraction.

It was awesome to seemingly connect with someone based solely on their personality - to get to know at least as much as they told you. Certain people have since stained my mind on how blatently disrespectful and dishonest the whole experience can be. I have had people lie to me - I would catch them in a lie and they would turn things around so as to make it seem as though they never told me things. It's too bad I actually saved a lot of instant message conversation to help me remember people and their individual situations. I have had people use me because I am a person with a heart on her sleeve - I care about people... and some people took advantage of that. (Grant it, in real life, I have had this happen to me) But as a result, I decided a long time ago to just sever all of the personal interactions because at least it is one less chance of having these negative things happen.


I must also include that I got to know at least one person incredibly well as a result of online interactions and would not trade that experience for anything. I learned from it and still value this person as an incredible example of the good that is still out there in this world. If I had to go through all that other mess with those other people all over again, I would still do so if it meant that I'd still end up connecting with this person again.


I still frequent these boards if I am already online for research (I have discovered you can learn pretty much anything online if you're crafty enough ), new music (woo hoo!), e-mailing friends and fam and yes, myspace and facebook as well. I think it's important to see those things for what they are though... and not what we might pretend or wish that they were. Just like anything else, it can consume you, if you let it.


I think it's great to share your own experiences and opinions with other people, which is why I haven't left CF so far... I just choose to keep the interactions more "surface-level" at this point. My real-life interactions, my real-life peeps are much more important to me - I'd rather take the time to get to know them more intimately... and vice versa.



I hope that wasn't too long for you!!!!

 

[HoosierCanuck]

Good points, White Dove.

I admit I avoid chatrooms like the plague BECAUSE I know I"ll be online waaaaaaaaaaay longer than I want to/plan to.

 

[radhead]

"Chatrooms."

That's a blast from the past. I haven't been on one of those in about 12 years. I remember some of the ones from AOL back in the day. I wouldn't even know where to find one now.

 

[Lady Bug]

I heard a good radio program earlier this week about how internet usage is actually causing loneliness among people who use it for prolonged periods. That even the kind of "intimacy" gained through online friendships does not even begin to fulfill the kind of true intimacy needs of human beings.

Just watching a forum like this, it seems like there are too many people spending time here just trying to fulfill relational and intimacy needs. Looking for a "good time." But it seems more like a hospital here. The "relationships" (most, at least) I see here are mostly long-distance ones.

What do you think of this? Personally, I know that the more time I spend on the internet the more depressed I usually become. I have no "good memories" in my life involving so-called internet "friends" and "good times" to speak of. At least, not compared to real experiences. All of my good memories involve real people and experiences.

What are your thoughts?

I agree with this. However, there are a few things to consider.

Some people who go on the Internet are already lonely - and may be anti-social for a myriad of reasons - some sort of disposition to social anxiety - or a misanthropic attitude of some sort.

However - I do agree that the internet can exacerbate loneliness if you already HAVE it. It's like the more connected we are, the more isolated we become. What a paradox the internet creates.

 

[Lady Bug]

I do this mainly because its hard for me to get that in my life offline. Everything is about the individual now and not society so people seem to keep to themselves more and less likely to converse with others, if that makes sense.

Yes, that is another problem in this world