Question

[Beautiful Fireball]

I'm just wondering how mom's with a lot of kids handle all of them at once. My boss just had her 4th child about 6 weeks ago and will be going back to work in a few weeks. When that happens I will have all 4 by myself and I'm kinda worried how it will go. The kids are 3, 2, 2, and the baby will be two months at that point. Up until this week her mom has been here and has been helping with the baby and I haven't been caring for him. Yesterday I had all 4 kids mainly by myself (mom was still there) and I was EXHAUSTED!

I think she is letting me take more responsibility with the baby to get used to when she is gone or something but I'm not sure that I can do it when I'm all by myself. The baby isn't on any schedule (he is still pretty tiny after all) and there is zero discipline for the two years olds which makes it very hard. She can't even handle all four by herself for more then an hour, how does she expect me to do it? I dunno, I'm just freaking out about how its all gonna work out and leaving isn't an option financially right now.

 

[lovesdolphins]

I think any of the moms on here with several children will say that disipline is a necessity. I have no idea how you are going to handle it.

I think this mom is handling it by passing all of her work onto you, IMHO.

 

[Beautiful Fireball]

I think any of the moms on here with several children will say that disipline is a necessity. I have no idea how you are going to handle it.

I think this mom is handling it by passing all of her work onto you, IMHO.

Probably, yesterday she asked me to come in on Saturdays too and I feel guilty for saying no.

 

[rainbowbright]

Maybe you could ask her to get someone else to stay with you until you get used to it. I know that it will probably be overwhelming especially b/c they're not your kids.

 

[Beautiful Fireball]

Maybe you could ask her to get someone else to stay with you until you get used to it. I know that it will probably be overwhelming especially b/c they're not your kids.

I've thought about that, but felt that it wasn't something they would consider. I'll pray about that and try suggesting it. I know it would be easier if the kids had discipline, but thats not my place.

 

[Leanna]

4 children that close in age, you are a saint. I thought that you were leaving at the end of this month though? I think you should get a raise, I hope you are making a lot because putting 4 into day care would cost a fortune and a private nanny should be even more expensive!

Otherwise I'd try a routine and maybe making a schedule like a day care would, but maybe you already do that....

 

[Beautiful Fireball]

4 children that close in age, you are a saint. I thought that you were leaving at the end of this month though? I think you should get a raise, I hope you are making a lot because putting 4 into day care would cost a fortune and a private nanny should be even more expensive!

Otherwise I'd try a routine and maybe making a schedule like a day care would, but maybe you already do that....

I wasn't able to leave

I do have the older three on a fairly strict schedule, but is it possible to put a baby that young on any type of schedule? He also has colic too and the most comfortable thing for him is to be held. Yesterday I tried for a couple of hours to get him to sleep in his swing and everytime I put him down after he was fast asleep he would scream within a minute. They also want me doing the kids laundry and other housekeeping (only kid related) and I just don't see any possibility of that happening when I'm completely by myself.

 

[lovesdolphins]

1 thing - do you have a sling or something to carry the little one in? - that may help free your arms up to do other things.

 

[GolfingMom]

I wasn't able to leave

I do have the older three on a fairly strict schedule, but is it possible to put a baby that young on any type of schedule? He also has colic too and the most comfortable thing for him is to be held. Yesterday I tried for a couple of hours to get him to sleep in his swing and everytime I put him down after he was fast asleep he would scream within a minute. They also want me doing the kids laundry and other housekeeping (only kid related) and I just don't see any possibility of that happening when I'm completely by myself.

Do/Can you wear the baby?
Do they nap?
I think it's possible to have the baby on a schedule.

 

[Leanna]

Have you tried looking for other positions? I hate to see you go through that, I think their expectations sound pretty unreasonable. Caring for 4 children 3 and under you should be making a small fortune daily. As I recall they were looking for a replacement for you.... if they can't find one, there's probably a reason. They are probably paying you too little and asking too much.

As far as laying the baby down, the trick is to get him used to being laid down awake but drowsy because if you transfer after he's asleep and all warm and cuddly it does happen that they wake up. For a 10 week old you may start to notice a pattern of when he takes naps and wants to eat (I did by that point so I knew what to expect) but you're right you can't really impose anything else (you must eat now!) there until it naturally develops.

 

[Beautiful Fireball]

They do have a sling for him and I will probably use it when I'm by myself and the twins do nap, with the 3 year old its hit and miss. How can you get a baby that young on a schedule?

 

[Beautiful Fireball]

Have you tried looking for other positions? I hate to see you go through that, I think their expectations sound pretty unreasonable. Caring for 4 children 3 and under you should be making a small fortune daily. As I recall they were looking for a replacement for you.... if they can't find one, there's probably a reason. They are probably paying you too little and asking too much.

As far as laying the baby down, the trick is to get him used to being laid down awake but drowsy because if you transfer after he's asleep and all warm and cuddly it does happen that they wake up. For a 10 week old you may start to notice a pattern of when he takes naps and wants to eat (I did by that point so I knew what to expect) but you're right you can't really impose anything else (you must eat now!) there until it naturally develops.

I tried leaving, I even gave them an end date. But they gave me a raise and my husband felt it would be best if I stayed for the time being because he was applying for the polie academy and we thought we would be moving in a few months. He wasn't accepted so now I have no end date in sight and I just feel weird about quitting and then saying I would stay and then quitting again. I dunno, thats just probably my own issues, but I just feel guilty for a lot of things with this job.

Anyway, I'll try putting him down when he's drowsy. Its just hard for me to let him cry, especially when my boss is nearby. I'm afraid she is gonna think I'm lazy or something.

 

[-~Truth_N_Trust~-]

If he's colic-y, have you tried raising his head slightly for sleep. I mean, put something under the mattress so it is slightly raised where his head will be. That may help him sleep more comfortably.

 

[Leanna]

Sorry to hear about that! If colicky means refluxy they could be dairy allergies or some other sensitivity and if that gets fixed the baby may cry less. That's how Maya was anyway.

I didn't mean you needed to let him cry, maybe a pacifier would work? Or you can rock until very drowsy nearly out and then set him down? Sometimes then they go right to sleep. Once he is used to it it will be a lot easier.

 

[sparassidae]

Well taking the opposite technique- stop focussing on the baby (as a problem that is). If baby is happy when held then wear him all day (except when feeding or changing nappy) and that way you can continue to devote your attention to the other children. That's what I do .

Definitely have some sort of plan for the day/week. Mornings we do laundry (2yos love to help put clothes in the washer, hand you pegs etc), afternoon nap or whatever. Monday we go to the park, Wednesday we go to storytime at the library etc.

Sorry if I'm telling you stuff you already know and do

And I also agree with the pp who said that Mum is coping by passing them off to you. I know a few people who 'cope' wonderfully while their children are in daycare, then fall in a heap when holidays come around.

 

[Beautiful Fireball]

Thanks ladies for the advice and the encouragement, it really does help. Yesterday I somehow managed to get them all to sleep at the same time for a couple of hours and it was wonderful, lol. If I can manage to do that more it should be fine